Image from Vermont Ferrett

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and that means one thing- turkey. Preparing and carving a turkey for loved ones at Thanksgiving is definitely a manly task (cooking in general is a manly task). It involves roasted flesh, sharp knives, and popping joints. So impress your friends and family this year by cooking up a juicy and delicious bird. After you’ve cooked it, earn extra man points by masterfully carving it with a sharp knife. Carving a turkey is a right of passage every man must go through. But if you don’t do it right, you’ll just be left with a mangled mess of meat.

To help guide us through cooking and carving our Thanksgiving turkey, we brought in our friend Karl Engel. Karl is the head chef of the award winning BBQ and grilling team Pigcasso. Follow Karl’s instructions, and you’ll soon be cooking and carving a Thanksgiving turkey like a real man.

How to Cook a Thanksgiving Turkey

Pick the right turkey. The first step in cooking a turkey is picking the right turkey for the job. With turkeys, bigger is not better. The best size turkey is between 12 and 16 pounds. Anything larger than 16 pounds and you’ll get tough and chewy meat. So stay away from the big 22 pound Tom turkeys. If you’re serving lots of people, get more than one medium size turkey.

Thaw it. Before you throw your turkey in the oven, it needs to be completely thawed. The best way is to let it thaw slowly in your refrigerator. Thawing your turkey in the fridge isn’t a one day affair. Depending on how large your turkey is, it could take days before it is completely thawed, so plan ahead. Below I’ve included a chart with the typical time required to thaw a turkey based on how much it weighs.

What if you don’t have a week to thaw the bird? A little hack from your grandma’s kitchen will get that turkey thawed in no time. Get a large tub of COLD water. Make sure the turkey is wrapped up in a leak proof package. Place the turkey in the tub. 30 minutes per pound of turkey is required to thaw your turkey using this method, so if you have a 15 pound turkey, it will take approximately 7 and 1/2 hours. Make sure to change the water every 30 minutes to keep it cold.

Clean it. Next you’ll need to clean out the giblets and neck. Most frozen turkeys have the giblets and neck in a nice little package stuffed inside the turkey in the back cavity. Just stick your hand in there and pull them out. You can save the giblets for gravy or you can toss them. Rinse out the bird under cold running water.

Brine it. Turkey by nature is a dry meat. Cooking only makes it drier. In order to keep the juices in the bird where they belong, you’ll need to brine this bad boy. You have two options for the brine: a wet or dry brine. You can find a good recipe for a wet brine at Alton Brown’s website.

Our friend Karl likes to do a dry brine. It gets the job done just as well as a wet brine and isn’t as messy. Here’s what Karl uses for his dry brine mixture.

• 2 cups of kosher salt
• 1/4 cup of ground black pepper
• 2 to 3 tablespoons of dry herb mix.

How to Carve a Thanksgiving Turkey

Our friend Karl Engel was kind enough to star in a short instructional video on how to carve the turkey. Watch it, follow his instructions, and you’ll have the best looking turkey platter in the neighborhood. I’ve also included the instructions in text format if videos aren’t your thing or if you need to check back later about specifics.

Let the bird rest. After you take the turkey out of the oven, you want to let it rest for about 20 to 30 minutes before you start carving. If you start carving too early, the juices from the bird will run all over the place and your turkey will dry out. Also, letting the turkey rest and cool will reduce the chances you’ll scald yourself with delicious but molten hot turkey juice.

Separate the leg and the thigh from the body. Take a sharp knife and cut the piece of skin in between the body and the leg. Once you have some separation, grab the body of the bird in one hand and the leg and thigh of the turkey in the other, and start pulling them apart to expose the joint that holds the leg to the turkey. You know you’ve reached it when you hear a pop. Carve around the joint until you don’t get any resistance. Pull the leg and the thigh away from the body of the turkey all in one piece. Repeat on the other side.

Separate the leg from the thigh. Holding the drumstick, stand the thigh and leg piece up on its end. Take your knife and cut between the drumstick and the thigh bone. When you meet some resistance with the thigh bone, move you knife around it a bit until you don’t get any resistance. Make the final cut and separate the drumstick from the thigh. Place the drumstick on the platter so the kids can start fighting over who has dibs on it at dinner time.

Cut the thigh meat. You’ve got some great meat on the thigh bone. Don’t let it go to waste by just hacking away at it. There’s one bone in the thigh meat and your goal is to separate the meat from the bone. Grab the end of the thigh bone, and take your knife and carefully start scraping the meat away from the bone. If you’re really careful you can take the thigh meat off in one piece. But if you need to separate it in two pieces when cutting it away from the bone, it’s no big deal. Once you get the meat separated from the thigh bone, you can carve it up for your platter.

Separate the wing from the body. Our next step is to separate the wing from the body. The wing is attached to the turkey by a ball joint. Cut the the area between the wing and body until you get to the joint. Once you get there, grab the wing and pull it away from the turkey until you hear a pop. Once you hear that pop, take your knife and start cutting through the tendons and ligaments surrounding the joint until you separate the wing from the body. You can serve the wing whole on your platter. Repeat on the other side.

Carve the turkey breast. You have some options on how you carve the turkey breast. The traditional way is to carve small slices off the side of the breast. There’s nothing wrong with this way, but it does tend to dry the meat out. Also, if you get the wrong kind of knife, you can tear the meat and it won’t look as good when you serve it.

Another way you can carve the breast meat so that you maintain juiciness is to cut the entire breast off the turkey and then carve it up into smaller slices. Here’s how you do it. Find the breastbone in the middle of the turkey. Pick which breast you’re going to carve first, and make a cut right next to the breastbone on that side.

Continue carving down the side of the breastbone. It helps to use your hands to peel the breast away from the bone as you’re cutting. Keep making small slices with your knife until you can separate the entire breast from the turkey.

Once it’s off, grab your large carving knife and slice the meat against the grain starting at the small point of the breast. You can make the slices as thin or as thick as you want. If you don’t think you’ll eat the entire breast, just cut what you’ll use, and wrap the rest of the breast in plastic wrap. It will stay nice and juicy for later.

Your Final Product

Happy Thanksgiving. It’s time to feast. I’ve got dibs on the drumstick.

• Grilling the Perfect Steak
• The Art of Manliness Group Writing Project: The Man Cookbook
• Be a Man: Learn to Cook
• Every Man Should Carry a Pocket Knife
• The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Nominate the Man of the Year Edition

Image from jazzejungueinc

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Scott Kustes, author of the Modern Forager blog. Check it out and sign up for his RSS updates.

Back at the beginning of July, Brett asked the question, “Is Cooking Manly?” The poll results were astoundingly lopsided: 95% yes, 5% no. It looks like a vast majority of us are convinced that being able to turn a heap of meat and vegetables into a delicious meal is a vital skill for a man to have.

Why then does it seem that so many men are unable to do something as simple as grilling a proper steak, much less doing something more involved like making a pot of soup (an exceedingly simple task)? Frankly, I know so many guys that would have trouble feeding themselves if a blizzard came through that it’s laughable.

Why do so many of us think it’s manly to cook, yet are unable to do so? Obviously the average male thinks it’s great to be able to slap a steak or some pork chops on the grill. But what about cooking in the kitchen? Is the kitchen the realm of women? Today, let’s look at some reasons that every man should be able to put together a meal, and by “meal” I mean meat AND side dishes, cooked on a grill, a cast iron skillet, or in the oven.

A Man Is Independent

An overriding theme of The Art Of Manliness is that a man should be independent. But a man that can’t quickly throw together a meal is always going to be dependent on someone else to feed him, be that his wife, girlfriend, or McDonald’s. Dependency is not an admirable trait in a man. You don’t want to be the guy that has to turn to frozen pizzas just because your finer half decided to have Cosmos with the ladies.

If you depend on someone to provide you with something that you require daily, can you really consider yourself independent? Seriously, we pride ourselves on our proficiency with power tools, yet few of us touch a power tool on a weekly basis. But we do touch food every single day, yet lots of guys have relegated cooking to a woman’s job.

A Man Is Healthy And Strong

It’s been proven time after time: cooking at home is vastly healthier than eating out, especially if “eating out” means grabbing fast food. At home, you can control the ingredients used and the cooking methods. There are no hidden ingredients in your kitchen. You’ll be leaner, more muscular, and healthier. And there’s nothing manly about a guy that’s weak and sickly.

A Man Provides For Himself And Others

Remember that bit about independence above? Well, along with being able to provide for himself, a man that can cook can provide for the most important people in his life - his family and friends. Providing food for others has long been a manly trait, from our hunter-gatherer days of bringing home the mastodon, through modern times when most of the renowned chefs in the world are males. The ability to put together a complete meal when your wife is sick or tired (or sick and tired, probably of your crap) is very manly.

A Man Spends Time With His Family

Want to be involved in your kids’ lives? Spend time with them. Want to find out about the new boy your daughter has been hanging out with or what your son is doing after school? Spend some time with them.

No one could possibly argue that it’s unmanly to spend time with one’s wife and kids. I saw several commenters talk about how cooking or grilling allows them to spend quality time with their kids. So what about being able to provide them with a tasty dinner, while talking to them about their day at school or work?

Better yet, spend time with them in the kitchen. You can teach them the necessary skills to be healthy and independent while also being a father. Imagine raising a son that isn’t afraid to turn on the oven, that is comfortable wielding a knife, chopping vegetables, and understands how to saute an onion. Imagine him being able to select and combine herbs and spices. Imagine him teaching these same traits to your grandkids.

Bonuses

Here are two bonuses for the man that can cook.

It Impresses The Ladies
There seems to be two skills that women are unable to resist. One is handiness with a guitar or a set of drums. The second is the ability to throw together a damn righteous meal. There are others, but we’ll start with these two. If you master one of these, you’re on the right track to getting to show her your other skills.

Now, there’s no question that me with a musical instrument is bad for the ears of anyone within earshot. However, I have that second skill mastered. And here’s the fun part: you don’t have to throw together an artistic dinner; as long as it tastes good and looks and smells appetizing, you’re impressing her. You don’t have to go all Iron Chef or make the plate look like you’re eating at a French restaurant where you’re spending $60 per plate. A bit of attention to detail and being cognizant of food style won’t hurt, but it’s not a necessity.

It Saves Money
How much money? Well, for around $75 per week, I eat about 3000 calories per day of locally-raised grass-fed beef and lamb; pastured pork and poultry; wild seafood; bags full of seasonal fruits, vegetables, herbs, and spices from the farmer’s market; and plenty of healthy fats from olive and coconut oils. When I hear someone say, “How can I eat healthy if I only have $100 a week to spend on food?,” I laugh. It’s not a lack of money, but a lack of planning that keeps most of us guys from feeding ourselves right.

I will guarantee that when you factor in a drink or two each, salads, entrees, and tip, you can’t walk out of a plain Jane restaurant with a date for under $40, let alone some place that’ll serve something as tasty as you can cook up on your own. As an example, I recently cooked up 2 pounds of grilled lamb chops with side dishes, salads, and a bottle of good wine for about $25 and that served my date and I and provided leftovers for me to have another meal. I couldn’t even have purchased that bottle of wine at a restaurant for $25.

Be A Man: Learn To Cook

So in the end, is it manly to cook? I think it’s unmanly not to be able to cook. I grew up in a household where my Step-dad could flat out throw down in the kitchen. And hot damn if he couldn’t cook up a killer meal, meat, vegetables, and plenty of flavor all included. The role of male cooking in the household wasn’t restricted to lighting a grill and slapping down a slab of beast.

So what does it take to be a decent cook? It’s really quite simple. Can you read? If you can read, you can cook. All you have to be able to do is measure a few ingredients and follow some simple instructions. After a little while following someone else’s directions (ask for favorite recipes from your Mom, Grandma, and if you were lucky enough to have a dad that cooked, Dad), you’ll learn what flavors you like and figure out how to incorporate them into your own recipes. Deference to someone that knows more than you and experimentation, are yet two more manly traits that go with cooking.

The real key to cooking is simply advanced preparation. The ability to think ahead, spend 45 minutes in the grocery store with a list, and pull together the necessary meats and vegetables for your week of cooking makes it easy to be sure Ramen and a can of tuna doesn’t become Tuesday night’s dinner.

So sharpen your knives, stock the fridge, and get to cooking. Really, the worst thing that’s going to happen is that you’ll eat something that doesn’t taste very good a few times.

So what are your thoughts? Is it not only manly to cook, but decidedly unmanly to be unable to cook? What other manly traits come along with the ability to cook? What have you gained from being handy in the kitchen?

If you’re looking for some manly recipes, make sure to download the Art of Manliness Man Cookbook.

• The Art of Manliness Group Writing Project: The Man Cookbook
• How to Open a Stuck Jar Lid
• How to Be a Gracious Host
• Grilling the Perfect Steak
• How To Cook and Carve a Thanksgiving Turkey Like a Man

Image from magarell

Yesterday, we set down the rules of being the perfect houseguest. The host likewise has important responsibilities and expectations to fulfill. The ability to show hospitality has been a measure of one’s character across cultures and time. Hospitality goes beyond providing simple room and board; it involves making your guest feel comfortable, welcome, and at home. For many men who have finally landed their own place, this holiday season may be their first time hosting travelers. Following a few simple guidelines will ensure your guest’s visit will be a happy memory they will have forever.

1. Be on time to pick up your guest. No one wants to be standing at the airport like a dope with no one to greet them. Make your guest’s first impression of their trip a pleasant one by being there to warmly greet them as soon as they arrive.

2. Stock up on tasty treats. Your guest is on vacation; they want to relax and eat delicious food. Don’t leave them at your house with only an old jar of mayo in the fridge. Make sure there’s plenty of snacks to be had.

3. Make your abode as clean and pleasant as possible. After a long trip, there’s nothing like stepping into a host’s inviting home. You may not mind living in a mess, but that’s no condition in which to have a guest. Make sure the guestroom is particularly hospitable with an inviting bed and clean sheets. Even if your guest is sleeping on the couch, make the couch look cozy and comfortable.

4. Cook for your guest. Preparing food for your guest is an ancient rite of hospitality. It doesn’t matter if you’re not much of a chef, the effort is what counts. And always make breakfast for your guest on the first morning of their stay. There’s something quite welcoming about waking up to a home cooked meal.

5. Plan interesting activities for your guest. You want your guest to have a memorable visit and the best possible time while they are with you. Show them all your favorite spots and take them on all your favorite excursions. But also research some activities you know will particularly appeal to your guest and their interests. Even if you cannot accompany your guests on these sightseeing trips, give them a list of ideas, maps, directions, and everything else they need to go out and enjoy themselves.

6. Never act imposed upon. Every guest worries a bit that they are imposing on you. There’s never a need to magnify this insecurity. Always act as though you could not be more pleased that your guest is staying with you. You shouldn’t have to fake such a sentiment; while you may experience moments of annoyance, keep in mind that such visits are infrequent and that your guest will soon enough be returning to their distant locale.

What’s been your experience in hosting travelers? Have any advice you’d like to share? Drop a line in the comment box.

• How to be the Perfect Houseguest
• Asking a Woman’s Father For Her Hand In Marriage
• Streamline Your Next Camping Trip
• The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Back to Law School Edition
• Spark Up Your Marriage: 4 Ways to Date Your Wife All Over Again

Image by George Marks

Next week is Thanksgiving and with it comes the arrival of the holiday season. Many of you will be traveling to see family and friends this time of year. Staying with loved ones can be a great time, and everyone loves free lodging. But you must always remember that hospitality is a gift, one that should be accepted graciously. Here’s how to show your gratitude and make your stay a welcome and pleasant one this holiday season, or any time of the year.

1. Send money for groceries. If your host will be paying for your food while you stay, send a check ahead of your visit to cover the cost of groceries and the other incidentals involved in entertaining and hosting you. If you wait to offer dough until you are there, your host will inevitably turn down the offer out of politeness. So just mail a check before your trip with a note about how excited you are to be coming. If your visit will be short, take your host out to dinner and pay for the meal instead.

2. Show up on time. If you tell your host that you’re going to come in on Wednesday morning, show up at that time. If you’re running late, make sure to call ahead and update your host on when you’ll be arriving.

3. Bring a gift. To show your appreciation for the free lodging, bring a gift. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Baked goods, flowers, bottles of wine, or unique gifts from your home state are always appreciated.

4. Keep your area neat. Before you leave each day, make sure to make the bed and straighten up your room. Put your dishes in the dishwasher after you use them.

5. Pitch in with the chores around the house. Always be willing to help around the house. Help prepare the meals, wash the dishes, and take out the trash. A gracious host will never directly ask you to help, so just get in there and start lending a hand.

6. Let your presence interfere as little as possible with your friend’s normal routine, household duties, and career. You friend may of course wish to take time out to hang with you, but you should never be the one to impose on their time. Do your best to conform your routine to the routine of the household, as to not get in the way or create an imposition.

7. Disclose your schedule. Let your host know your schedule every day and do all you can to stick to it. This will help your host plan when to serve meals and how late they need to stay up.

8. Do not ignore your friend altogether. If you friend lives in a “destination” city and the purpose of your trip is both to visit with your friend and to see the sights, you should not entirely eschew the former to pursue the latter. No one wants to feel like you are simply using them as a hostel. Do your sightseeing when your friend is at work, plan activities together for when they are not, and invite your host on your excursions.

9. Come with some ideas about what you want to do and see. While your friend will surely have many things they wish to do with you, they should not be expected to entertain you all day long.

10. Even if you don’t find all the activities your host plans for you enjoyable, keep your disappointment to yourself. Part of visiting a friend is accompanying them on excursions that they enjoy. Your friend is working hard to entertain you, let them know you appreciate their efforts.

11. Don’t criticize your host’s hometown. If you are say, a proud New Yorker paying a visit to your country cousin in Omaha, do not go on and on in unfavorably comparing their city to the Big Apple. Most people are proud of their hometown; be generous in your compliments of it.

12. Always ask. Remember, you’re a guest. Even if someone tells you to make yourself at home, still ask before you start using things. It’s just polite.

13. Don’t overstay your visit. Try to keep your stay shorter than three days. Your host has things to do and they can’t put their life on hold forever.

14. Strip the bed before your leave. Your host will likely wash the bed linens after you leave. Help make their job easier by stripping your bed before you depart.

15. Write a thank you note. Showing true hospitality is one of the greatest kindnesses a friend can bestow. Be sure to express your gratitude to them be sending a note of thanks soon after your trip.

Have any more tips on being a good houseguest? Let us know in the comments.

Tomorrow: How to be the perfect host.

• How to Be a Gracious Host
• Spark Up Your Marriage: 4 Ways to Date Your Wife All Over Again
• Streamline Your Next Camping Trip
• The Art of Thank You Note Writing
• Father’s Day Giveaway! $25 Gift Certificate to Outback Steakhouse

I found this poem in a book on public speaking from 1900. While it was written for young boys, it’s just as applicable to young men. Hard work, dedication, and resiliency are all qualities we should try to develop in our sons and in ourselves.

Boys Wanted


Boys of spirit, boys of will,
Boys of muscle, brain and power,
Fit to cope with anything,
These are wanted every hour.


Not the weak and whining drones,
Who all troubles magnify;
Not the watchword of “I can’t,”
But the nobler one, “I’ll try.”


Do whate’er you have to do
With a true and earnest zeal;
Bend your sinews to the taswk,
“Put your shoulders to the wheel.”


Though your duty may be hard,
Look not on it as an ill;
If it be an honest task,
Do it with an honest will.


In the workshop, on the farm,
At the desk, where’er you be,
From your future efforts, boys,
Comes a nation’s destiny.

• Lessons in Manliness: The Childhood of Theodore Roosevelt
• How To Change A Flat Tire
• Manvotional: The American Boy by Theodore Roosevelt
• Lessons From Our Fathers
• Manly Advice from Robert E. Lee (Plus a Book Giveaway)

Now for some links:

How to Clean Stuff Cleaning isn’t just for women. One of Franklin’s manly virtues was cleanliness. Find out how to clean just about darn near everything at this site.

Taking Dramatic Change One Day at a Time (@ the simple dollar) Are you trying to make some changes in your life? Want to shift your life out of neutral? Trent from The Simple Dollar offers some great advice on how to do it.

How to Be Romantic Without Looking Cheesy (@ womopo) Solid advice on how to woo your lady without being sappy about it. Best advice: surprise her.

A Real Man Always Has Cash (@ primer magazine) I’m a big fan of cash. It’s Kate’s and I’s preferred way to budget our money. We set a budget for food and other necessities for the month and withdraw that amount. When we run out of cash, we’re done spending. Actually seeing tangible money makes us more aware of how much we’re spending.

Movember Update From Shaun

Art of Manliness reader Shaun Daws is growing a mustache and raising money for Movember. All the proceeds will go to research to help battle prostate cancer. Looks like his stache is coming in nicely.

If you’d like to donate to Movember under Shaun’s name, go to his mospace.

Become an Evangelist of Manliness

Help spread the good word of manliness. Become an evangelist of manliness.

• The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: One More Day To Nominate Edition
• Best of Art of Manliness: October 2008
• The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Indiana Jones IV Trailer Edition
• The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Barber Shop Edition
• 5 Personal Finance Discussions To Have Before Getting Hitched

Editor’s Note: In honor of Quantum of Solace being released today, AoM contributor Cameron Schaefer has put together this rundown of Bond’s most manly qualities.

Admit it, if you’re a man, you’ve thought about how cool it would be to spend a day in the shoes of 007 himself, “Bond, James Bond.” The cars, adventure, beautiful women, and all the ridiculous spy gadgets. Seriously, who wouldn’t enjoy sporting a wrist-mounted dart gun?

But, there’s something else that attracts us (in a manly way) to Bond. It’s not just the lifestyle and accessories, it’s how he embodies so many of the qualities that we admire in a man. Confidence, strength, self-control (with one glaring exception), independence, and charm mixed with a bit of brute force. He seems to hold the world in his hands, but he’d just as easily give it all away.

Starting with “Dr. No” in 1962, each incarnation of Bond, from Sean Connery to Daniel Craig, has given men a look at how to live the high life, one of sophistication and grace, but far from gentle. The following are some lessons that every man can take away from the life of James Bond.

1) Finish What You Start. A man can be counted on to complete the mission, whatever it may be. Anyone can start something, but very few can consistently finish. James Bond shows us that determination isn’t an optional part of manhood, it’s required.

Think of the men in your life you look up to. Chances are they are people you can trust to do what they say. These are the people we follow, model, and celebrate. For them, how one starts the race isn’t nearly as important as how one finishes. When things get hard and go wrong, it doesn’t cause them to throw in the towel, it only pushes them harder. In the same way, Bond is a closer, something for which all of us men should strive.

2) Dominate Technology. Bond is a man that keeps up with the times. He is a master of the current technology and gadgets, but never their slave. You won’t find Bond spending hours each day frivolously texting away or sporting a permanent bluetooth headset. Wherever Bond is, he is ALL there, not constantly sidetracked by his Blackberry. He uses technology when he needs it and chucks it when he doesn’t.

Technology can be a great asset, but like many things it can often warp into something we can’t live without. In doing so, it takes a place in our life that it has no business taking. Bond is the type of man that keeps tech in it’s proper place- a place of servitude.

3) Know Your Enemy - Like any good practitioner of war, Bond never enters a battle without knowing the intricate details of his enemy. Not just who he is, but how he thinks, what he desires, what he fears and how he can be exploited.

If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. - Sun Tzu

For Bond, and for all men, sometimes the enemy is quite obvious, while at other times they cleverly hide their ulterior motives. Your enemy could be a business rival that is seeking your destruction or even some type of character assassin like an addiction, a weakness, or a character flaw. Regardless, knowledge is key to victory in any of these areas. Identifying the enemies in your life, learning their ins and outs, and defeating them at every turn is something Bond understands and all of us should as well.

4) Dress to Kill - For centuries, part of being a man meant dressing well for every occasion. Suits, hats, collared shirts and well-fitting trousers were a necessary part of living well. Somewhere along the line it became acceptable for a man to leave the house in baggy sweatpants, t-shirt, and a baseball cap.

You might be saying, “But I’m a man, only women care about how they dress.” To you Bond would reply, “You’re an idiot, kind sir, ” as he walked off with your girlfriend. How a man dresses says something about him and men who dress well exude and inspire confidence. So ditch your old, ill-fitting rags and invest in a quality wardrobe. After all, the first step towards being Bond is dressing like him.

5) Know How to Handle Your Weapon - Bond, understands the value of having a firearm and knowing how to use it. While he only discharges his weapon when absolutely necessary, 007 is well-equipped to defend himself and those around him when the situation arises.

Becoming a skilled firearms user doesn’t mean you need to turn your house into a one-stop armory. Simply stopping by the local gun range every once and awhile and/or taking a gun safety class can make a big difference. Also, a man should know how to properly clean his gun. After all, a quality weapon is a valuable tool, but it is only as good as the person operating it.

6) Stay Cool - Remember that one segment in the last 007 movie where Bond cracked under the intense pressure of his mission? Me neither. Bond shows us that being a man means staying cool under pressure. Life is tough for everyone; get over it. Great men have the inner fortitude to handle themselves with confidence and self-control even when the world around them is crumbling.

Part of dealing well with stressful situations is being prepared for them.

“On the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that on other days and other fields will bear the fruits of victory.” - General Douglas MacArthur (US WWII General and war hero)

Bond is able to remain calm because of his past training and experience. Apart from training, playing competitive sports is a wonderful way to learn how to handle stress and prepare for battle, whether it be against the “Man With the Golden Gun” or simply the young hot shot competing for your job.

Any other lessons men can take from James Bond? Drop a line in the comment box and add to the discussion. And just for fun, share your favorite Bond movie and favorite incarnation of Bond with us as well.

• The Art Of Manliness Weekly Roundup: There Will Be Blood Edition
• Increase Your Manly Confidence Overnight
• The Manival #1
• The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: New Server Edition
• Shift Out of Neutral: 4 Easy Steps To Get Motivated and Get Moving In Life

Every man is unique, and every man has his own individual style. I say this to every one of my clients because it’s very important to understand this simple concept. We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with marketing messages trying to tell us who we should want to be, how buying this will make us cool, how sporting this brand will improve our looks. My goal here to give you a foundation from which to make your own personal style decisions. This article seeks to create a hunger within you to discover your individual style.

The Whimsical Winds of Fashion

Many men are confused by fashion trends, and for good reason. Unlike baseball or engineering, there seems to be no logic or set of ground rules as to how it operates. What’s fashionable today may not be “in” next week, and what looks good on that tall tan athletic male model doesn’t seem to compliment you or most the men you know.

My advice: do not chase the whimsical winds of fashion. Doing this is like trying to catch a shadow; the faster you move, the faster it evades you. Instead seek to understand what styles, colors, patterns, and fit best compliment you. Armed with this information, you will save yourself time and money by immediately eliminating 90% of the clothing out there and focusing on the 10% that highlights your strengths. You will ensure that the contents in your wardrobe are timeless, and that your appearance is the best it can be.

A man’s personal style should be influenced by three things: 1) his physical characteristics, 2) the environment in which he finds himself, and 3) his personal preferences. I will address each of these separately.

1. The Foundation of your Personal Style – Your Physical Characteristics

Men come in all shapes and colors; some are light skinned, short, and thin as a rail while others are dark, tall, and heavy set. And just as every combination of physical attributes yields a unique appearance, every physical combination has a set of style combinations that best enhances it. Aesthetically speaking, there are certain colors, patterns, and clothing silhouette combinations that best compliment each and every one of us. Let me give you an example.

Tom is 6’4” and weighs 200 pounds. Of Northern European decent, he has both light colored skin and hair. Tom faces a number of challenges; he doesn’t want his clothing to make him look lanky, and he would prefer that his clothing’s colors enhance his complexion rather than overpower it.

Consequently, Tom wears clothing that downplays his height and gives him a bit more weight – he loves cuffs on his trousers along with a ticket pocket on his jackets. On single breasted jackets he has his lapel’s notch slightly lowered (to de-emphasize his height). Yet his favorite jackets are his double breasted ones whose extra buttons and details give him a bit more girth. As for the choice of fabric, Tom prefers heavier weaves that add weight to his thin frame. He chooses patterns such as checks, whose horizontal lines cut him down to size, and coordinates his colors so that there are no stark contrasts. Contrasts between dark and light colors draw attention to themselves, and Tom smartly keeps these distractions to a minimum.

Mike is physically the opposite of Tom. At 5’ 4” and weighing 200 pounds, he is of North African decent and has both dark colored skin and hair. Although Mike’s dressing obstacles appear to be very different from Tom’s, his goal is the same; he wants to look proportional and downplay certain physical features.

In order to minimize his girth, Mike chooses clothing that gives him the appearance of increased height. His wardrobe is full of 2-button jackets that fit him comfortably and are without vents. He doesn’t try to force a tapered waist, but instead allows an eloquent loose drape to mask his heavy middle. Mike has rediscovered suspenders and wears his pants at his natural waist (think right below the belly button); in addition to making him look taller by lengthening the appearance of his legs, he also finds they are more comfortable. When it comes to fabric selection, Mike seeks out contrast as it accentuates his dark complexion. He utilizes the elongating effect of stripes, and owns two black suits because of that color’s ability to slim down the wearer.

2. Your Environment - Further Refining your Personal Style

The second factor in determining your personal style is your environment. A banker in Orlando, Florida is going to have very different needs than a teacher in Chicago, Illinois. Both men want to look professional, but each has different environmental and professional factors that affect their choices. Using our same gentlemen, let’s further illustrate this point with two examples.

Tom teaches high school in a large midwestern city with mild summers and freezing winters. His job doesn’t call for suits, but does require him to look professional. Paying attention to his environment, he wears sports jackets paired with jeans, along with check shirts. In the winter he layers up with heavy tweeds, sweaters, and a classic wool overcoat. He occasionally wears a suit if he has a meeting but never dons a tie as he doesn’t want to appear stuffy.

Mike, on the other hand, works at a bank in one of the hottest and most humid cities in the US. His job requires a suit and tie everyday. In order to stay comfortable, most of Mike’s clothing is made from cotton, whose properties allow it to pass heat and moisture away from the body efficiently, and lightweight tropical wools. Even though the mood of the bank is distinctly conservative, he does flash a bit of color in the stripes he chooses for his clothing and in his choice of ties.

Each man has made choices based off of his environment. If they were to switch places, both would have to alter their wardrobes. But in their respective locations, both Tom and Mike have made solid clothing decisions.

3. Your Wants and Desires - Completing your Individual Style

Finally, the most important factors in determining your personal style are your wants and desires. How do you want to appear to others? Creative, intelligent, a team player, authoritative – all of these are possible. Although at this point we have narrowed down the range of clothing at your disposal, we have by no means stifled your choices. No, there is still an endless array of accessories, colors, patterns, and details that will take the menswear that best compliments you and make it yours. Once again, let us use Tom and Mike as examples.

Tom considers himself an outgoing and creative person; although he teaches mathematics, he isn’t in the least bit formulaic. To liven up his appearance and help it reflect who he his, Tom always throws a pocket square into his jackets, uses knot cufflinks in his shirt cuffs, and wears dressy but slightly offbeat shoes (think burgundy oxfords). Three small things, perhaps not employed simultaneously, but whose effect on the overall ensemble is to make it unmistakably unique.

Mike manages the staff at his bank and likes to subtly signal to patrons who’s running the show. Wearing a conservatively patterned red tie with point collars to elongate his face, Mike never takes off his jacket as its short cut, smooth appearance, and lack of horizontal detail creates the illusion of height. As a retired Air Force man, he pays homage to his service by wearing light blue shirts with dark blue stripes and has a pair of cufflinks with the Air Force Seal. So despite wearing a suit daily, Mike never becomes one.

Final Thoughts

You can wear whatever you want, whenever you want, however you want; my intention here is lay out a thought process so that you can dress yourself in a professional manner no matter who you are and where you may find yourself. While not perfect, I have found it useful in helping hundreds of men look and feel better about their appearance.

Please note: I will devote an entire article to what styles, fabrics, colors, patterns, and fit compliment each body types and complexion.

Written by
Antonio Centeno
President, www.ATailoredSuit.com
Quality Custom Clothing & Sound Style Advice
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Today in the United States it’s Veterans Day, a day in which we honor those brave men and women who have served their country in the military.

To those who have served in the military, The Art of Manliness takes our hat off to you. Thank you for your dedication and sacrifice in keeping us safe.

To those who are serving now, thank you as well. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. We appreciate all that you do.

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The elders of the tribe stood in front of the hut and beckoned for the young man to come out and begin the festivities of the special day. The young man had barely slept the night before, anxiously anticipating the tests he would soon be called to endure. As he rose to meet the elder, he was aware of a great gnawing in his stomach; he had had nothing to eat for the last three days as he purged his body of impurities.

The ceremony soon began. The elders of tribe pierced his chest, shoulder, and back muscles with large wooden splints. Ropes, which extended from the roof of the hut, were then attached to the splints, and the young man was winched up into the air, his whole body weight suspended from the ropes. Agonizing pain coursed through the young man’s body, but he gritted his teeth and tried not to cry out. While hanging in the air, more splints were hammered through his arms and legs. Skulls of his dead grandfather and other ancestors were placed on the ends of the splints. All the while, the young man cried aloud to the Great Spirit for courage to endure. Eventually, the young man fainted from the loss of blood and the sheer pain of the torture. When the elders were sure he was unconscious, he was lowered down and the ropes were removed. Yet the splints were left in place. When the young man recovered consciousness, he offered his left pinky to the tribal elders to be sacrificed. He placed his finger on a block and had it swiftly chopped off. This was a gift to the gods and would enable the young man to become a powerful hunter. Finally, the young man ran inside a ring where his fellow villagers had gathered. As he ran, the villagers reached out and grabbed the still embedded splints, ripping them free. The splints weren’t allowed to be pulled out way they had been hammered in, but had to be torn out in the opposite direction, causing the young man even greater pain and worse wounds. This concluded the day’s ceremony.

The young man was exhausted and bloodied, but euphoric. He had been beyond glad to participate in the ritual. This was the greatest day of his life; today he was a man.

While the coming of age ceremony of the Mandan tribe is a particularly gruesome example, peoples and cultures from prehistoric times onward created rites of passage to initiate boys into manhood. Today, such rites of passage are almost extinct. Boys lack clear markers on their journey to becoming a man. If you ask them when the transition occurs, you will get a variety of answers: “”When you get a car,” “When you graduate from college,” “When you get a real job,” “When you lose your virginity,” “When you get married, “When you have a kid,” and so on. The problem with many of these traditional rites of passage is that they have been put off further and further in a young man’s life. 50 years ago the average age an American man started a family was 22. Today, men (for ill or good) are getting married and having kids later in life. With these traditional rites of passage increasingly being delayed, many men are left feeling stuck between boyhood and manhood. College? Fewer men are graduating. And many that do “boomerang” back home again, spending another few years figuring out what the next step in their life should be. As traditional rites of passage have become fuzzier, young men are plagued with a sense of being adrift.

Of course the process of becoming a man, ceremony or not, does not happen in a single moment. But rites of passage are important in delineating when a boy should start thinking of himself as a man, when he should start carrying himself as a man, when the community should start respecting him as a man, and when he should start shouldering the responsibilities of a man. Lacking these important markers, many young men today belabor their childhood, never sure of when they’ve really “manned up.”

What Is a Rite of Passage

Sociologists have identified three phases that constitute a proper rite of passage: separation, transition, and re-incorporation.

Separation: During this phase an initiate is separated in some way from his former life. In the case of the Mandan tribe, the young man was isolated from the village in a hut for three days. In other tribes, boys’ heads were shaved and they were ritually bathed and/or tattooed. In a more modern example, when a man has just enlisted in the military, he is sent away to boot camp. His former possessions are put aside, his head is shaved, and he is given a uniform to wear. During the separation phase, part of the old self is extinguished as the initiate prepares to create a new identity.

Transition: During this phase, the initiate is between worlds-no longer part of his old life but not yet fully inducted into his new one. He is taught the knowledge needed to become a full-fledged member of that group. And he is called upon to pass tests that show he is ready for the leap. In tribal societies, the elders would impart to the initiate what it meant to be a man and how the boy was to conduct himself once he had become one. The initiate would then participate in ritual ceremonies which often involved pain and endurance. In the case of the new soldier, he is yelled at, prodded, exercised, and disciplined to prepare him to receive a rank and title.

Re-incorporation. In this phase, the initiate, having passed the tests necessary and proving himself worthy, is re-introduced into his community, which recognizes and honors his new status within the group. For tribal societies, this meant a village-wide feast and celebration. The boy would now be recognized by all tribe members as a man and allowed to participate in the activities and responsibilities that status conferred. For the soldier, his boot camp experience would come to an end and both his superiors and his family would join in a ceremony to recognize his new status as a full-fledged member of the military.

During the all phases of the process, the men who have gone through the ritual themselves guide the young initiate on his journey. By controlling the rite of passage, the men decide when a boy becomes a man.

Creating Modern Rites of Passage for Boys

There have been several movements to try to resurrect rites of passage for men. The most recent attempt occurred in the early 1990s with the mythopoetic men’s movement. Books like Iron John and King, Warrior, Magician Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine encouraged men to find meaningful male rites of passage. The mythopoetic men’s movement petered out, and along with it the movement to restore male rites of passage.

The greatest difficulty in establishing rites of passage today is recreating the “re-incorporation” phase of the process. Today boys are rarely an integral part of any larger community, much less one that recognizes and agrees on certain rites of passage. But they can be reconfigured for the modern age and still act as meaningful transition points in a boy’s life. Rites of passage should serve as a catalyst that propels a boy’s passage into manhood.

When Should The Rite of Passage Occur?

Before deciding what the rite of passage will be, you’ll first need to decide at which age your son should take part it in it. In some tribal cultures, boys as young as eight go through rites of passage and come out as men in their community. Burdening an eight year old with the full responsibilities of manhood probably won’t work in most Western societies. A good time to take your son through a rite of passage into manhood is after they graduate high school. By then, they’re about 18 years old, the age at which society legally deems them an adult. And they are about to begin a new chapter in their lives. A rite of passage should help them navigate the path they’ll be heading down.

Creating Rites of Passage in Your Religious Community

Some of the few rites of passage that are still widely recognized occur within religious organizations. Whether a young man is confirmed into the Catholic Church, baptized into his evangelical congregation, or celebrates his bar mitzvah, churches still provide the kind of community recognition that makes a rite of passage possible.

Yet, while these rites of passage are often already in place, they can be helped along by families and fathers. These ceremonies can either be a big deal, a ceremony in which a boy truly feels like he is transitioning into manhood, or they can be just another ho-hum affair-another thing he is “supposed” to do and takes part in simply because his family expects him to. A dad can make sure it’s the former by preparing his son for quite awhile before the actual ceremony occurs. Ideally, you should be talking with your son from the time he is a little tyke about what it means to become a man in your faith tradition and how to prepare himself for his future rite of passage. As the time draws closer, schedule weekly events in which you discuss the principles of your faith, your personal views on weighty matters, and your advice on being a man of faith. Let you son know how important you view the rite of passage and impress upon him the solemnity of the occasion. Set a weekly tradition such as a father/son scripture study that will countdown the time until his rite of passage is to occur.

Creating a Rite of Passage in Your Family

One needs not be a member of a religious community to undergo a rite of passage into manhood. A family is a very small community unto itself, and parents may create unique familial ceremonies in which sons are inducted into manhood. The options for such a ceremony are limited only by your creativity. Consider drawing up a list of tasks your son must learn to perform himself. When he has mastered all of these skills, throw him a celebration in which you present him with a medallion of some sort to commemorate the occasion. Or take him on a long backpacking trip in which he is responsible for making the fire, setting up camp, navigating, cooking food, ect. Along the way impart all the manly wisdom you have gleaned from life experience. Or you might want to take an extended father/son road trip. To increase the “separation” required of a rite of passage, consider sending your son on a service trip to a foreign country or on a trip guided by an organization like Outward Bound. Enrolling your son in Boy Scouts is another great option. The Scouts have built in “rites of passage” that increase boys’ skills, ,responsibilities, and feelings of competence. Whichever avenue you choose, the important thing is to imbue the process with great significance. Don’t be cheesy about it, be sincere. And treat your son differently when the process is complete, giving him both greater respect and greater responsibility.

Creating a Personal Rite of Passage

Some of you may have missed out on the opportunity to take part in some sort of rite of passage and may feel a bit adrift, in limbo between boyhood and manhood. Do not despair. You can create a personal rite of passage for yourself. While the “re-introduction” phase may not be as significant in this case, you can reenter your community knowing inside yourself that you are a changed man. Draw up a list of goals, head out into the wilderness, take a mission trip, join Americorps or Peace Corps, join the military, pledge a worthy college fraternity or a fraternal lodge….it doesn’t matter as long as you commit to it with the idea that you’re going to give the experience everything you have and allow it to help you transition into manhood.

Now it’s your turn. Please share with us the rites of passage you went through that marked your passage from boyhood to manhood. Do you have any other ideas for rites of passages for boys today? Drop a line in the comment box and share your thoughts.

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William Shakespeare’s words speak across generations and cultures. In this scene, Polonius gives a bit of fatherly advice to his son Laertes before he heads off to France. While all the advice is good, the best doesn’t come until the end- “To thine own self be true.” Be a man of honor and integrity. Live life in a way that allows you to look at yourself in the mirror and not be ashamed.

Yet here, Laertes! aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay’d for. There; my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
See thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch’d, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear’t that the opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

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I wanted to use this weekly roundup for a last minute plug for the Art of Manliness Man of the Year. You just have a day and a half left to nominate a man for the award. Nominations will close tomorrow evening. The Art of Manliness Man of the Year award is to honor men who exemplify manliness. Thanks to Old Spice, we’ll be giving the winner of the contest $2,000 in cash plus great Old Spice products.

Nominations end November 9. We’ll select 10 finalists and then open voting to the public on November 24. Take 20 minutes out of your life to honor a great man in your life. Fill out a nomination form today.

Now for some links.

Why College Football is More Cutthroat and Competitive Than the NFL (@ slate) For those of you who follow American college football, this is an interesting article on the business of the sport.

5 Ways To Boost Your Energy At Work Without Drinking Coffee (@ womopo) Great tips on how to get through the day without having to spend money on coffee. A tip that I would add is taking a mid-day nap. I take one everyday and great manly men from history did as well. Winston Churchill, JFK, and Thomas Edison were serial nappers.

Cardio Is Bunk (@ men’s journal) Free yourself from the elliptical machine and do wind sprints and burpees instead.

Put Your Savings on Steroids with Certificates of Deposit (@ get rich slowly) Looking for a safe place to stash your money for the short term? Try CDs. JD Roth at Get Rich Slowly gives us the skinny on them.

The Save $1000 in 30 Days Challenge (@ i will teach you to be rich) With the economic downturn and the holidays fast approaching, people are looking for ways to save some money. Over at I Will Teach You To Be Rich, there’s a challenge going on for readers to save $1,000 in 30 days. Each day, blogger Ramit will give tips on how you can meet this goal.

30 Great Kid Gift Ideas (@ esquire) The holidays are coming. Esquire has put together 30 gift ideas for the kids in your life.

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