When famed War Correspondent Col. Frederick Palmer called on Douglas MacArthur at his Manila Headquarters, his most vivid memory of the meeting was that of the three frames hanging over the General’s desk. On the left, a portrait of Washington. On the right, a portrait of Lincoln. And between them, a framed version of a poem called “Youth” by Samuel Ullman. He also hung it in his office in Tokyo when he took over as Supreme Allied commander of Japan, and would continue to quote it in the many speeches he gave his “old” age. Because of his influence in Japan, the poem became very popular among the Japanese, and it is still more well known and beloved there than in the West.

Youth

By Samuel Ullman

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being’s heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what’s next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

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Energetic  Men

We love upright, energetic men. Pull them this way, and then that way, and the other, and they only bend, but never break. Trip them down, and in a trice they are on their feet. Bury them in the mud, and in an hour they will be out and bright. They are not ever yawning away existence, or walking about the world as if they had come into it with only half their soul; you cannot keep them down; you cannot destroy them. But for these the world would soon degenerate. They are the salt of the earth. Who but they start any noble project? They build our cities and rear our manufactories; they whiten the ocean with their sails, and they blacken the heavens with the smoke of their steam-vessels and furnace fires; they draw treasures from the mine; they plow the earth. Blessings on them! Look to them, young men, and take courage; imitate their example; catch the spirit of their energy and enterprise, and you will deserve, and no doubt command, success.

From Readings for Young Men, Merchants, and Men of Business, 1866

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In Euripides’ Suppliant Women, a messenger reports the bravery of the seven men who died while trying to take back the city of Thebes. All the men who died were not only great warriors, but they lived exemplary lives of honorable manliness.

Hear, then. By granting me the privilege of
praising friends, you meet my own desire
to speak of them with justice and with truth.
I saw the deeds–bolder than words can tell–
by which they hoped to take the city. Look:
The handsome one is Capaneus. Through him
the lightning went. A man of means, he never
flaunted his wealth but kept an attitude
no prouder than a poor man’s. He avoided
people who live beyond their needs and load
their table to excess. He used to say
the good does not consist in belly food,
and satisfaction comes from moderation.
He was true in friendship to present and absent friends.
Not many men are so. His character
was never false; his ways were courteous;
his word, in house or city, was his bond.

Second I name Eteoclus. He practiced
another kind of virtue. Lacking means,
this youth held many offices in Argos.
Often his friends would make him gifts of gold,
but he never took them into his house. He wanted
no slavish way of life, haltered by money.
He kept his hate for sinners, not the city;
A town is not to blame if a bad pilot
makes men speak ill of it.

Hippomedon, third of the heroes, showed his nature thus:
While yet a boy he had the strength of will
not to take the pleasures of the Muses
that soften life; he went to live in the country,
giving himself hard tasks to do, rejoicing
in manly growth. He hunted, delighted in horses,
and stretched the bow with this hands, to make his body
useful to the city.

There lies the son
of huntress Atalanta, Parthenopaeus,
supreme in beauty. He was Arcadian,
But came to Inachus’ banks and was reared in Argos.
After his upbringing there, he showed himself
as resident foreigners should, not troublesome
or spiteful to the city, or disputatious,
which would have made him hard to tolerate
as citizen and guest. He joined the army
like a born Argive, fought the country’s wars,
was glad when the city prospered, took it hard
if bad times came. Although he had many lovers,
and women flocked to him, still he was careful
to cause them no offense.

In praise of Tydeus
I shall say much in little. He was ambitious
greatly gifted, and wise in deeds, not words.

From what I have told you, Theseus, you should not
wonder that these men dared to die before the towers.
To be well brought up develops self-respect:
anyone who has practiced what is good
is ashamed to turn out badly. Manliness
is teachable. Even a child is taught
to say and hear what he does not understand;
things understood are kept in mind til old age.
So, in like manner, train your children well.

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Image from anniebee

Advice to my Son

by J. Peter Meinke

The trick is, to live your days
as if each one may be your last
(for they go fast, and young men lose their lives
in strange and unimaginable ways)
but at the same time, plan long range
(for they go slow; if you survive
the shattered windshield and the bursting shell
you will arrive
at our approximation here below
of heaven or hell).

To be specific, between the peony and the rose
plant squash and spinach, turnips and tomatoes;
beauty is nectar
and nectar, in the desert, saves –
but the stomach craves stronger sustenance
than the honied vine.
Therefore, marry a pretty girl
after seeing her mother;
show your soul to one man,
work with another;
and always serve bread with your wine.
But, son,
Always serve wine.

(Hat tip to Andy Luscombe for this Manvotional selection)

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Give us Men!

Give us Men!
Men-from every rank,
Fresh and free and frank;
Men of thought and reading,
Men of light and leading,
Men of loyal breeding,
The nation’s welfare speeding;
Men of faith and not of fiction,
Men of lofty aim in action;
Give us Men-I say again,
Give us Men!

Give us Men!
Strong and stalwart ones;
Men whom highest hope inspires,
Men whom purest honor fires,
Men who trample self beneath them,
Men who make their country wreath them
As her noble sons,
Worthy of their sires;
Men who never shame their mothers,
Men who never fail their brothers,
True, however false are others:
Give us Men-I say again,
Give us Men!

Give us Men!
Men who, when the tempest gathers,
Grasp the standard of their fathers
In the thickest fight;
Men who strike for home and altar,
(Let the coward cringe and falter),
God defend the right!
True as truth the lorn and lonely,
Tender, as the brave are only,
Men who treat where saints have trod,
Men for Country, Home- and God:
Give us Men! I say again- again-
Give us Men!

-Josiah Gilbert Holland

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Learning to be a man begins at an early age. Boys try to mimic the manly things they see their fathers and other men do. When they get older, they seek the advice of older men on what it takes to be a man. This short essay from Draper’s Self Culture was published in 1907 and gives advice to boys on how to be manly boys. Print it off and share it with a boy you know.

A Manly Boy

For a boy to be manly, he must act like a man. By this I do not mean  that he must no longer be a boy. He must be willing, as far as he is able, to help his parents, and try to assist his brothers and sisters in every way that he can.

There are many things which men do that it would not be right for boys to attempt. But there are also many other things which wise and thoughtful boys will try to do as well as they can, and yet be true boys.

There is an old saying that “you cannot put old heads on young shoulders.” This is true to some extent; but when it is given as an excuse for being thoughtless and careless and rude, it is misleading.

We do not want to see our boys going about like little old men, and bearing burdens which their shoulders were never meant to carry. We do not want them to be robbed of the freshness and lightness of youth, while they are yet children but in years.

We believe that “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” But it is also true that “all play and no work will give Joe a ragged shirt.”

Now a manly boy is as often as fond, if not fonder, of play than a boy who has nothing of a man about him. This is because the work he does gives him a change of employment, which makes play all the pleasenter when he takes part in a game.

In every home there are many things to be done which a boy can do just as well as an older person. He can black boots, mend broken things, run errands, work in the garden, and help his younger brothers and sisters with their lessons.

He can treat his parents with repect, follow their advice, and act in such a manner that they feel they can trust him to do right when he is out of their sight. They know that he is anxious to win their praise, and that he values their esteem.

I remember asking a father if he was not afraid to send a boy of thirteen to pay a large sum of money.

“Oh no,” he replied, smiling, “I know it is quite safe with him. You see, he is such a manly boy.”

When you are older and read the lives of some men who have risen to high places in the world, you will find that when they were boys they began to act like men. Yet they were just as fond of fun and play as other boys who never tried to give  their parents a helping hand.

How often we hear a boy say, “I wish I was a man!” And if we ask why, we often learn that it is because he wants to be able to do as he likes. He is tired of having to obey his parents, and be guided by them. He thinks he knows better than they do what is best for him.

Such a boy is already going wrong, and only wants the chance to break away from the restraints of home. He is not a manly boy. He is often a forward, foolish boy, who can be easily led astray, and who will sooner or later come to grief.

When a manly boy wishes to be a man, it is not that he may have his own way, but that he may be better able to help his parents and be more useful in the world. It is not that he is tired of being a boy, but he is willing to give up youthful pleasures for the sake of those who have done so much for him.

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Image from Molly Des Jardin

Editor’s note: The commentary and selection for this manvotional comes from Sam, an AoM Community member.

Nothing quenches my thirst for adventure quite like the books of H. Rider Haggard. This summer I discovered him when I read “King Solomon’s Mines” and its sequel. While the first book is a brilliant epic filled with endearing characters and action-packed adventure, I felt the focus on the two heroines and their “palace intrigue” in the second book really hurt it.

But I’ll keep the gushing to a minimum. The purpose of this blog was to post a quote from “King Solomon’s Mines” that really touched me. The main character, Allan Quatermain, is looking over the sleeping faces of African warriors the night before a massive battle, when he reflects on death:

“Yet man dies not whilst the world, at once his mother and his monument, remains. His name is lost, indeed, but the breath he breathed still stirs the pine-tops on the mountains, the sound of the words he spoke yet echoes on through space; the thoughts his brain gave birth to we have inherited to-day; his passions are our cause of life; the joys and sorrows that he knew are our familiar friends—the end from which he fled aghast will surely overtake us also!

Truly the universe is full of ghosts, not sheeted churchyard spectres, but the inextinguishable elements of individual life, which having once been, can never die, though they blend and change, and change again for ever.”

I find these words a comfort. Whether there is an afterlife or not, I think it’s of the utmost importance that we take care in the impressions we leave on the world and the people we love. Perhaps the heritage of a human life is the way in which it positively touched others, influencing the next in line to do the same.

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Back in 1852, a young man wrote Scottish writer, historian, and educator Thomas Carlyle asking for suggestions on books to read. A small Scottish provincial newspaper published Carlyle’s response.  In his response, Carlyle advises the young man to stay away from fluff, study history, and read about ideas he’s curious about. Moreover, Carlyle encourages the young man to not let failures and mistakes get him down, but to keep striving after any goal he may have set. Finally, Carlyle counsels the young man that learning does not come solely from reading books. A man must actually get out and live life if he wishes to obtain a complete education. Great advice 147 years ago; great advice today.

Dear Sir,—Some time ago your letter was delivered me; I take literally the first free half-hour I have had since to write you a word of answer.

It would give me true satisfaction could any advice of mine contribute to forward you in your honourable course of self-improvement, but a long experience has taught me that advice can profit but little—that there is a good reason why advice is so seldom followed; this reason, namely, that it is / so seldom, and can almost never be rightly given. No man knows the state of another; it is always to some more or less imaginary man that the wisest and most honest adviser is speaking.

As to the books which you—whom I know so little of— should read, there is hardly any thing definite that can be said. For one thing, you may be strenuously advised to keep reading. Any good book, any book that is wiser than yourself, will teach you something—a great many things indirectly and directly, if your mind be open to learn. This old counsel of Johnson’s is also good, and universally applicable—”Read the book you do honestly feel a wish and curiosity to read.” The very wish and curiosity indicates that you, then and there, are the person likely to get good of it.  “Our wishes are presentiments of our capabilities;” that is a noble saying, of deep encouragement to all true men, applicable to our wishes and efforts in regard to reading as to other things.

Among all the objects that look wonderful and beautiful to you, follow with fresh hope the one which looks wonderfullest, beautifullest. You will gradually find, by various trials (which trials see that you make honest, manful ones, not silly, short, fitful ones), what is for you the wonderfullest, beautifullest—what is your true element and province, and be able to profit by that. True desire, the monition of nature, is much to be attended to. But here, also, you are to discriminate carefully between true desire and false. The medical men tell us we should eat what we truly have an appetite for; but what we only falsely have an appetite for, we should resolutely avoid. It is very true: and flimsy desultory readers, who fly from foolish book to foolish book, and get good of none, and mischief of all—are not these as foolish, unhealthy eaters, who mistake their superficial false desire after spiceries and confectioneries for their real appetite, of which even they are not destitute, though it lies far deeper, far quieter, after solid nutritive food? With these illustrations, I will recommend Johnson’s advice to you.

Another thing, and only one other, I will say. All books are properly the record of the history of past men—what thoughts past men had in them—what actions past men did; the summary of all books whatsoever lies there. It is on this ground that the class of books specifically named History can be safely recommended as the basis of all study of books, the preliminary to all right and full understanding of any thing we can expect to find in books. Past history, and especially the past history of one’s own native country, every body may be advised to begin with that. Let him study that faithfully; innumerable inquiries will branch out from it; he has a broad beaten highway, from which all the country is more or less visible; there traveling, let him choose where he will dwell.

Neither let mistakes and wrong directions—of which every man, in his studies and elsewhere, falls into many—discourage you. There is precious instruction to be got by finding that we are wrong. Let a man try faithfully, manfully, to be right, he will grow daily more and more right. It is, at bottom, the condition on which all men have to cultivate themselves. Our very walking is an incessant falling—a falling and a catching of ourselves before we come actually to the pavement!—it is emblematic of all things a man does.

In conclusion, I will remind you that it is not books alone, or by books chiefly, that a man becomes in all points a man. Study to do faithfully whatsoever thing in your actual situation, there and now, you find either expressly or tacitly laid to your charge; that is your post; stand in it like a true soldier. Silently devour the many chagrins of it, as all human situations have many; and see you aim not to quit it without doing all that it, at least, required of you. A man perfects himself by work much more than by reading. They are a growing kind of men that can wisely combine the two things—wisely, valiantly, can do what is laid to their hand in their present sphere, and prepare themselves withtal for doing other wider things, if such lie before them.

With many good wishes and encouragements, I remain, yours sincerely,

Thomas Carlyle

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We all face difficulties in our lives. Some big, some small. When I look at the lives of great men who overcame great obstacles, one common thread between them is the attitude they took towards the challenge. They didn’t mope around and let whatever happen happen. The ones who conquered their difficulties took action and persevered. Sometimes they failed, but at least they “failed while daring greatly.”

Below is an excerpt from a book published in 1866 called Readings for Young Men, Merchants, and Men of Business. It’s entitled “Difficulties.” I thought it was motivating and maybe you’ll find it helpful, too.

It is weak to be scared at difficulties, seeing that they generally diminish as they are approached, and oftentimes even entirely vanish. No man can tell what he can do until he tries. It is impossible to calculate the extent of human powers; it can only be ascertained by experiment. What has been accomplished by parties and by solitary individuals in the tundra and the frozen regions, under circumstances the most difficult and appalling, should teach us that, when we ought to attempt, we should not despair.

The reason why men oftener succeed in overcoming uncommon difficulties than ordinary ones, is, that in the first case they call into action the whole of their resources, and that in the last they act upon calculation, and generally under-calculate. Where there is no retreat, and the whole energy is forward, the chances are in favor of success, but a backward look is full of danger.

Confidence of success, is almost success; and obstacles often fall of themselves before a determination to overcome them. There is something in resolution which has an influence beyond itself, and it marches on like a mighty lord amongst its slaves; all is prostration where it appears. When bent on good, it is almost the noblest attribute of man; when on evil, the most dangerous. It is by habitual resolution that men succeed to any great extent; impulses are not sufficient. What is done at one moment is undone the next; and a step forward is nothing gained unless it is followed up.

“What is difficulty?” says a popular author. “Only a word indicating the degree of strength requisite for accomplishing particular objects; a mere notice of the necessity for exertion; a bugbear to children and fools; only a mere stimulus to a man!”

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The Navy SEALs are the elite of the United States Military. As the Special Operations Forces of the Navy, they are charged with carrying out some of the most dangerous and important combat and reconnaissance missions. The long and famously grueling process of becoming a SEAL is legendary and ensures that only the best of the best will ever wear the Trident.

The SEALs have always had an unspoken creed of valor and honor. In 2005, a formal creed was adopted in order to clearly delineate the values of this special team. I first came across this creed while watching a video posted by the huhman about the sacrifice of Michael A. Monsoor. While parts of the creed  obviously only apply to being a SEAL, much of it transcends the military and succinctly sums up the values every man should live by each day.

United States Navy SEAL

In times of war or uncertainty there is a special breed of warrior ready to answer our Nation’s call. A common man with uncommon desire to succeed.

Forged by adversity, he stands alongside America’s finest special operations forces to serve his country, the American people, and protect their way of life.

I am that man.

My Trident is a symbol of honor and heritage. Bestowed upon me by the heroes that have gone before, it embodies the trust of those I have sworn to protect. By wearing the Trident I accept the responsibility of my chosen profession and way of life. It is a privilege that I must earn every day.

My loyalty to Country and Team is beyond reproach. I humbly serve as a guardian to my fellow Americans always ready to defend those who are unable to defend themselves. I do not advertise the nature of my work, nor seek recognition for my actions. I voluntarily accept the inherent hazards of my profession, placing the welfare and security of others before my own.

I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men.

Uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.

We expect to lead and be led. In the absence of orders I will take charge, lead my teammates and accomplish the mission. I lead by example in all situations.

I will never quit. I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.

We demand discipline. We expect innovation. The lives of my teammates and the success of our mission depend on me – my technical skill, tactical proficiency, and attention to detail. My training is never complete.

We train for war and fight to win. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of combat power to bear in order to achieve my mission and the goals established by my country. The execution of my duties will be swift and violent when required yet guided by the very principles that I serve to defend.

Brave men have fought and died building the proud tradition and feared reputation that I am bound to uphold. In the worst of conditions, the legacy of my teammates steadies my resolve and silently guides my every deed.

I will not fail.

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What qualities and attributes constitute true manliness? It’s a hard question to answer. You know it when you see it, but it’s difficult to put a concept as big and varied as manliness into words, even for a guy who runs a blog on the topic. So I often like to peruse old books on the subject for insights on this question. Our forebearers were just as interested in the subject as we are, but they spent more time thinking about it. Thus, the wordsmiths of the past can often really nail it on the head. One of these men who effectively got to the heart of manliness was John Brookes, who 1875 authored a book aptly named Manliness. In the following excerpts, he discusses what he believes to be the defining characteristics of manliness. Next week, I’ll post Part 2, in which he discusses the results of living these virtues. For another excellent take on what constitutes true manliness, see here.

Chapter I: What Is Manliness?

The word man in its best sense means a male adult, having the sense of strength, vigor, magnanimity. The best qualities of a man—such as dignity, valor, purity, fidelity, cheerfulness — constitute manliness.

The Romans had a word which had the same meaning to them as our word manliness has to us —the word was virtus, derived from vir, a man of courage and principle, one who deserved the name of man—the signification of which was manliness, manhood, strength, courage, capacity, excellence, virtue. Virtus included in its meaning all that was excellent in the physical, intellectual and moral constitution of man.

Hence, we can now answer the question — “What is Manliness?” Openness and bravery. Carrying out heroically our convictions of what ought to be said and done with rectitude of spirit, is manliness. . .

That great, clever man, Thackeray, has admirably summed up the characteristics of a true gentleman in a few terse queries. “What is it to be a gentleman? Is it to be honest, to be gentle, to be generous, to be brave, to be wise, and, possessing all these qualities, to exercise them in the most graceful outward manner? Ought a gentleman to be a loyal son, a true husband, an honest father? Ought his life to be decent, his bills to be paid, his tastes to be high and elegant, his aims in life to be noble?” To these searching, sensible queries, there can be given but one answer and that in the affirmative.

Not every one can tell gilt from gold, the true from the false, a gentleman from a polished villain; and yet it is reality, honesty alone, that is entitled to respect—true manliness, not its gilded counterfeit. There is much instruction in a story told of Cogia Effendi, the Persian sage. Cogia Effendi, dressed as a poor man, entered a house at feast time. He was pushed about, and hustled, could not get near the table, and was treated with such disrespect that he withdrew. Going home, he dressed himself in gorgeous garments; on his feet he put jeweled slippers, on his back a golden robe, on his head a turban, glittering with a valuable diamond, by his side he placed a sabre, in the hilt of which were precious jewels. This student of human nature strode into the room a second time. Effendi’s altered dress wrought a wondrous change. This time the guests gave way; the host himself, hurrying up to Cogia, exclaimed—”Welcome, my lord Effendi, thrice welcome! What would your lordship please to eat?” Quaint was his lordship’s reply. Stretching out his right foot theatrically, so that his glittering slipper could be well seen, he took his golden robe in his hand, and said ironically—”Welcome, my Lord Coat, welcome, most excellent robe! What will your lordship please to eat?” And then turning to his surprised host, he continued—”For I ought to ask my coat what it will eat, since the welcome was solely to it.”

Our first object in life should be, not to be farmers, lawyers, statesmen, clergymen, merchants, soldiers, but to be men, possessing more than mere craft-knowledge—having healthful, supple, strong, graceful bodies—minds which delight in observing, reading, thinking, criticizing— and hearts which love. . .

We cannot do better, we think, than conclude this introductory chapter by quoting the stirring words of Robert Nicoll—entitled True Nobility.

I ask not for his lineage,
I ask not for his name;
If manliness be in his heart,
He noble birth may claim.
I care not though of world’s wealth
But slender be his part,
If yes you answer when I ask,
‘Hath he a true-man’s heart?’
I ask not from what land he came,
Nor where his youth was nursed;
If pure the spring, it matters not
The spot from whence it burst.
The palace or the hovel

Where first his life began,
I seek not of; but answer this—
‘Is he an honest man ?’

Chapter II: Intuition

I know of no lovelier trait in childhood or adulthood than openness of character. Every noble man admires it, every true woman loves it, and every child is delighted with it. It is the key to the hearts of all, for who does not admire the upright, the sincere, the conscientious, the cheerful, the hopeful?

Does the reader think there is not much that is comprehensive and potent in this characteristic? Let us see: a man with an open, intuitive mind and heart is intelligent; he feels and acknowledges that his education is unfinished; he ever goes on improving and becoming more God-like; he has sympathy with all other souls. . . The attitude is that of one who waits; of one who does not yet know the truth, the perfect and highest course open to man; and who, as not knowing it, surveys with the serenity of suspended force all who come professing to have the truth to impart. Such an attitude has a peculiar charm. When we know a person’s final conclusions, when he has told us all that he has to impart, we may indeed feel grateful to him, but we feel also that we know the limits of that for which we are grateful. But in the yet undeveloped germ there lies an infinite possibility. There is no saying to what height such a germ may grow, in what directions or forms it may unfold itself; and an eager curiosity gathers around this first working, which cannot attend on the perfectly developed plant. This is the beauty of childhood; but it is a beauty which belongs to all those who, though past childhood, yet know and feel that they are in a state of growth and not of completion.

Depth of feeling is also necessary to greatness, nobility, manliness. . . Much of Tennyson’s power consists in his openness of heart and his depth of feeling.

That touching poem, In Memoriam, written by the Poet in consequence of the death of his friend, Arthur H. Hallam, proves this assertion. “In Memoriam” shews the gentle and manly affection which existed between the two friends. Blessed is the Damon who has his Pythias, the David who has his Jonathan, the Tennyson who has his Hallam.

Hence, depth of feeling a true man must have; it is equally necessary to have the openness of what Shakspeare calls “the mind’s eye.” Openness assists any one to get at the truth, to acknowledge his error, when wrong, and to do better in times to come. Openness gives a man largeness of view, sympathy, wholeness of heart, fervency of spirit.

Every wise man keeps his mind and his heart open to the reception of truth, new thoughts and fresh loves; to close them marks a Liliputian intellect and heart.

We are reminded of the man who stated to Sir Charles Lyell that geology was false, and that he didn’t believe one word of it. “Do you,” inquired Sir Charles, “know anything about geology? Have you ever read anything on the subject, or studied it practically?” “Not at all,” said the objector;” Why should I study it, when I don’t believe in it?” ” Well, then,” replied the geologist, “you are incompetent to discuss the subject, or to have an opinion on it. Go and study geology, and then come to me, and I’ll listen to your objections. It will, however, be needless then, for you will be of the same opinion that I am.”

How amusing the consternation amongst little souls and small minds, when a man of openness, courage and brain, makes his appearance !

In Thoughts on Government, by Mr. Arthur Helps, is this admirable sentence—” For a statesman, nothing is more requisite than that he should be able to narrate accurately, to explain succinctly, to answer clearly and logically, and in short to deliver all that he knows, or has to say, with the greatest force, the least apparent effort, and the least irrelevancy.” Herein is the whole duty of man as regards his communications with his fellow man. Let a man reason logically, accurately, succinctly, forcibly, and without irrelevancy, and one happy result will be this—unreasonable arguments will become things of the past.

Chapter III: On the Second Great Element of Manliness-Fearless and Cheerful Decisiveness

There are many persons who see what they ought to do; there are many who possess executive power; but the number of those who possess both these elements of a noble character is certainly not legion. Generally, great intuitive power is accompanied by great courage; therefore, he who lacks this power, is probably wanting in true courage…

It is unmanly to be doubtful, timorous, uncertain —to be victims of irresolution. Doubtless, much of our wretchedness arises from our weak wills. “You can only halfvfill,” said one to people who failed. He who is discontented, lacks self- reliance; he is unmanned by infirmity of will. A vacillator never can realize greatness in anything; his impulses and his time are wasted in hesitancy. He who has not decisiveness of character, proclaims himself a tool of circumstances.

A man of decisiveness is a powerful man, and if he is wisely decisive, he is a thoughtful man, is respected, is useful, and is his own master. To a man who has great force of will, and who says, “I am resolv’d for death or dignity,” the casualties of this life bow, because he will not bow to them. As Martin Tupper says—

“The iron will of one stout heart shall make a thousand quail.”

How efficiently a decisive man clears the way— makes room for himself! When he has any work to do, he says with Mrs. Page—”Come to the forge with it then; shape it; I would not have things cool.” Up and be doing—use to-day’s wind and tide. “Add a step to it,” said a Spartan to his son, who was complaining that his sword was too short. Napoleon said—”Every moment lost gives an opportunity for misfortune.”

Courage, noble stoutness of heart, is a prominent characteristic of a great soul, who is

“Ever prompt to shew
His manly forehead to the fiercest foe.”

There can be no manliness, no greatness of heart, without heroism. One thing needful for every man is that he be brave, that he place under his feet cowardice, which is an accursed thing. The good old Latin proverb contains encouragement—Fortuna favet fortibus . . .

The quaint old Fuller thus speaks of Sir Francis Drake, and his words describe a gentleman— “Chaste in his life, just in his dealings, true of his word; merciful to those that were under him, and hating nothing so much as idleness.”

Great men awake the heroic which is in their hearts; they shew that “Virtue is bold, and goodness never fearful.”

Let us up, then, and be doing whatever work we find laid out for us. As Goethe says—

“Rest not! Life is sweeping by,
Do and dare before you die!”

Who does not admire the erect, noble bearing, the calmness and invincible energy of great men —of gentlemen in thought, speech and act? Who can help admiring their freedom of thought and of heart, their daring and dignified courage, and their generous, manly pathos—a pathos which never degenerates into sickly sentimentality? Witness their high sense of honour, their determination never to take a mean advantage, their noble aspirations, and their love for all men, which – “Opens in our heart a little heaven.”

Any man who would make life a festival, must have both will and courage. We know that if we fearlessly grasp a nettle, it is harmless; touch it timorously, and it stings.

A brave man has contempt for many compliments, satellites, cushions and easy-chairs. The lives of all the great are natural, poetic, beautifully simple, heroically virtuous and harmonious. The magnanimous care little for the small things of this mortal life, and must smile at the person who is made happy or miserable by a little praise or blame.

“Hardly for the flower of men will love alone do,” says T. Carlyle. True. We need the discipline of rough circumstances to bring out the gold of our characters.

Opposition or any buffeting to which a man does not succumb, is a benefactor in disguise. We have read that migratory birds, which in their journeying keep high in the air, require a wind which is against them, in order that they may make progress and keep their elevation. So a magnanimous man in his attempts to get heavenward, requires trials, tribulations, to develop his manhood. Storms will do us no harm, if we encounter them valiantly. Great, good souls have the fewest fears; indeed, we all should have but one fear, the fear of doing wrong.

• Manvotional: True and False Manliness
• Manvotional: “Youth” by Samuel Ullman
• Best of Art of Manliness, March 2008
• Give Us Men!
• The Best of Art of Manliness: March 2009

Once a very popular and inspiring ideal, the concept of the self-made man has fallen into disfavor in our modern times. In a day when men often shirk personal responsibility, people excuse their failings with the victim card and everything is a “disease” over which we have no control, people are cynical that a man can really become whatever he chooses by pulling himself up by his bootstraps. We want to believe that luck was really the determining factor in a successful man’s achievements, thus excusing ourselves from own failures by believing we were simply not as fortunate.

Frederick Douglass thought that such rationalizations were crap, and he had the right to think so. He rose from the shackles of slavery to become an author, newspaper publisher, and respected abolitionist. What was possible for him, he sincerely believed was possible for any man who was willing to work hard. His ideas on the subject were superbly summed up in his “Self-Made Men” speech, which during his life was his most popular and sought after lecture. A Philadelphia newspaper called it “noble and eloquent,” and full of “richness of thought and manly sentiment.”

It’s truly a masterful work and will inspire a man to believe that he is indeed the captain of his destiny. In my searches of the net, the only place I have found it is here, in image format. Such an important speech deserves a greater audience and accessibility, so I have transcribed some of the best excerpts. It is quite a bit longer than a tweet, but infinitely worth your time and study.

Self-Made Men

By: Frederick Douglass

That there is, in more respects than one, something like a stoicism in this title, I freely admit. Properly speaking, there are in the world no such men as self-made men. That term implies an individual independence of the past and present which can never exist,

Our best and most valued acquisitions have been obtained either from our contemporaries or from those who have preceded us in the field of thought and discovery. We have all either begged, borrowed, or stolen. We have reaped where others have sown, and that which others have strown, we have gathered. It must in truth be said, though it may not accord well with self-conscious individuality and self-conceit, that no possible native force of character, and no depth of wealth and originality, can lift a man into absolute independence of his fellowmen, and no generation of men can be independent of the preceding generation. The brotherhood and interdependence of mankind are guarded and defended at all points. . .

Nevertheless, the title of my lecture is eminently descriptive of a class and is, moreover, a fit and convenient one for my purpose, in illustrating the idea which I have in view…Self-made men are the men who, under peculiar difficulties and without the ordinary helps of favoring circumstances, have attained knowledge, usefulness, power and position and  have learned from themselves the best uses to which life can be put in this world, and in the exercises of these uses to build up worthy character. They are the men who owe little or nothing to birth, relationship, or friendly surroundings; to wealth inherited or to early approved means of education; who are what they are, without the aid of any favoring conditions by which other men usually rise in the world and achieve great results. . . They are in a peculiar sense indebted to themselves for themselves. If they have traveled far, they have made the road on which they have travelled. If they have ascended high, they have built their own ladder . . . Such men as these, whether found in one position or another, whether in the college or in the factory; whether professors or plowmen; whether Caucasian or Indian; whether Anglo-Saxon or Anglo-African, are self-made men and are entitled to a certain measure of respect for their success and for proving to the world the grandest possibilities of human nature, of whatever variety of race or color.

Though a man of this class need not claim to be a hero or to be worshipped as such, there is genuine heroism in his struggle and something of sublimity and glory in his triumph. Every instance of such success is an example and help to humanity. It, better than any mere assertion, gives us assurance of the latent powers and resources of simple and unaided manhood. It dignifies labor, honors application, lessens pain and depression, dispels gloom from the brow of the destitute and weariness from the heart of him about to faint, and enables man to take hold of the roughest and flintiest hardships incident to the battle of life, with a lighter heart, with higher hopes and a larger courage.

The Theory of Self-Made Men

The various conditions of men and the different uses they make of their powers and opportunities in life, are full of puzzling contrasts and contradictions. Here, as elsewhere, it is easy to dogmatize, but it is not so easy to define, explain and demonstrate. The natural laws for the government, well-being and progress of mankind, seem to be equal and are equal; but the subjects of these laws everywhere abound in inequalities, discords, and contrast. We cannot have fruit without flowers, but we often have flowers without fruit. The promise of youth often breaks down in manhood, and real excellence often comes unheralded and from unexpected quarters.

The scene presented from this view is as a thousand arrows shot from the same point and aimed at the same object. United in aim, they are divided in flight. Some fly too high, others too low. Some go to the right, others to the left. Some fly too far, and others, not far enough, and only a few hit the mark. Such is life. United in the quiver, they are divided in the air. Matched when dormant, they are unmatched in action.

When we attempt to account for greatness we never get nearer to the truth than did the greatest of poets and philosophers when he classified the conditions of greatness: “Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.” We may take our choice of these three separate explanations and make which of them we please, most prominent in our discussion. Much can certainly be said of superior mental endowments, and I should on some accounts, lean strongly to that theory, but for numerous examples which seem, and do, contradict it, and for the depressing tendency such a theory must have on humanity generally.

This theory has truth in it, but it is not the whole truth. Men of very ordinary faculties have, nevertheless, made a very respectable way in the world and have sometimes presented even brilliant examples of success. On the other hand, what is called genius is often found by the wayside, a miserable wreck; the more deplorable and shocking because from the height from which it has fallen and the loss and ruin involved in the fall. . .

I do not think much of the good luck theory of self-made men. It is worth but little attention and has no practical value. An apple carelessly flung into a crowd may hit one person, or it may hit another, or it may hit nobody. The probabilities are precisely the same in this accident theory of self-made men.  It divorces a man from his own achievements, contemplates him as a being of chance and leaves him without will, motive, ambition and aspiration. Yet the accident theory is among the most popular theories of individual success. It has about it the air of mystery which the multitudes so well like, and withal, it does something to mar the complacency of the successful.

It is one of the easiest and commonest things in the world for a successful man to be followed in his career through life and to have constantly pointed out this or that particular stroke of good fortune which fixed his destiny and made him successful. If not ourselves great, we like to explain why others are so. We are stingy in our praise to merit, but generous in our praise to chance. Besides, a man feels himself measurably great when he can point out the precise moment and circumstance which made his neighbor great. He easily fancies that the slight difference between himself and his friend is simply one of luck. It was his friend who was lucky but it might easily have been himself. Then too, the next best thing to success is a valid apology for non-success. Detraction is, to many, a delicious morsel. The excellence which it loudly denies to others it silently claims for itself. It possesses the means of covering the small with the glory of the great. It adds to failure that which it takes from success and shortens the distance between those in front and those in the rear. Even here there is an upward tendency worthy of notice and respect. The kitchen is ever the critic of the parlor. The talk of those below is of those above. We imitate those we revere and admire.

But the main objection to this very comfortable theory is that, like most other theories, it is made to explain too much. While it ascribes success to chance and friendly circumstances, it is apt to take no cognizance of the very different uses to which different men put their circumstances and their chances.

Fortune may crowd a man’s life with fortunate circumstances and happy opportunities, but they will, as we all know, avail him nothing unless he makes a wise and vigorous use of them. It does not matter that the wind is fair and the tide at its flood, if the mariner refuses to weigh his anchor and spread his canvas to the breeze. The golden harvest is ripe in vain if the farmer refuses to reap. Opportunity is important but exertion is indispensable. . .

When we find a man who has ascended heights beyond ourselves; who has a broader range of vision than we and a sky with more stars in it in than we have in ours, we may know that he has worked harder, better and more wisely than we. He was awake while we slept. He was busy while we were idle and was wisely improving his time and talents while we were wasting ours . . .

I am certain that there is nothing good, great or desirable which man can possess in this world, that does not come by some kind of labor of physical or mental, moral or spiritual. A man, at times, gets something for nothing, but it will, in his hands, amount to nothing. What is true in the world of matter, is equally true in the world of the mind. Without culture there can be no growth; without exertion, no acquisition; without friction, no polish; without labor, no knowledge; without action, no progress and without conflict, no victory. A man that lies down a fool at night, hoping that he will waken wise in the morning, will rise up in the morning as he laid down in the evening. …

From these remarks it will be evident that, allowing only ordinary ability and opportunity, we may explain success mainly by one word and that word is WORK! WORK!! WORK!!! WORK!!!! Not transient and fitful effort, but patient, enduring, honest, unremitting and indefatigable work into which the whole heart is put, and which, in both temporal and spiritual affairs, is the true miracle worker. Everyone may avail himself of this marvelous power, if he will. There is no royal road to perfection. Certainly no one must wait for some kind of friend to put a springing board under his feet, upon which he may easily bound from the first round of their ladder onward and upward to its highest round. If he waits for this, he may wait long, and perhaps forever. He who does not think himself worth saving from poverty and ignorance by his own efforts, will hardly be thought worth the efforts of anybody else.

The lesson taught at this point by human experience is simply this, that the man who will get up will be helped up; and the man who will not get up will be allowed to stay down. This rule may appear somewhat harsh, but in its general application and operation it is wise, just and beneficent. I know of no other rule which can be substituted for it without bringing social chaos. Personal independence is a virtue and it is the soul out of which comes the sturdiest manhood. But there can be no independence without a large share of self-dependence, and this virtue cannot be bestowed. It must be developed from within. . .

In the idea of exertion, of course fortitude and perseverance are included. We have all met a class of men, very remarkable for their activity, and who yet make but little headway in life; men who, in their noisy and impulsive pursuit of knowledge, never get beyond the outer bark of an idea, from a lack of patience and perseverance to dig to the core; men who begin everything and complete nothing; who see, but do not perceive; who read, but forget what they read, and are as if they had not read; who travel but go nowhere in particular, and have nothing of value to impart when they return. Such men may have greatness thrust upon them but they never achieve greatness. …

But in this awarding praise to industry, as the main agency in the production and culture of self-made men, I do not exclude other factors of the problem. I only make them subordinate. Other agencies cooperate but this is the principal one and the one without which all others would fail.

But another element of the secret of success deserves a word. That element is order, systematic endeavor. We succeed, not alone by the laborious exertions of our faculties, be they small or great, but by the regular, thoughtful and systematic exercise of them. Order, the first law of heaven, is itself a power. The battle is nearly lost when your lines are in disorder. Regular, orderly and systematic effort which moves without friction and needless loss of time or power; which has a place for everything and everything in its place; which knows just where to begin, how to proceed and where to end, though marked by no extraordinary outlay of energy of activity, will work wonders, not only in the matter of accomplishment, but also in the increase of the ability of the individual. It will make the weak man strong and the strong man stronger; the simple man wise and the wise man, wiser and will insure success by the power and influence that belong to habit . . .

There is still another element essential to success, and that is, a commanding object and a sense of its importance. The vigor of the action depends upon the power of the motive. . . Work is not often undertaken for its own sake. The worker is conscious of an object worthy of effort, and works for that object; not for what he is to it, but for what it is to him. All are not moved by the same objects. Happiness is the object of some. Wealth and fame are the objects of others. But wealth and fame are beyond the reach of the majority of men, and thus, to them, these are not motive-impelling objects. Happily, however, personal, family and neighborhood well-being stand near to us all and are full of lofty inspirations to earnest endeavor, if we would but respond to their influence.

• Manvotional: Manliness by John Brookes, Part I
• Money and Career Advice from Benjamin Franklin’s Way to Wealth
• The Importance of Paying Your Dues
• Manvotional: Difficulties
• Being Your Own Man

Independence Day is this Saturday here in the United States. In honor of it, we present “A Nation’s Strength” by Ralph Waldo Emerson. The strength of any nation or community is found in the men (and women) who make it up, so be the best man you can be.

“A Nation’s Strength” by Ralph Waldo Emerson

What makes a nation’s pillars high
And its foundations strong?
What makes it mighty to defy
The foes that round it throng?

It is not gold. Its kingdoms grand
Go down in battle shock;
Its shafts are laid on sinking sand,
Not on abiding rock.

Is it the sword? Ask the red dust
Of empires passed away;
The blood has turned their stones to rust,
Their glory to decay.

And is it pride? Ah, that bright crown
Has seemed to nations sweet;
But God has struck its luster down
In ashes at his feet.

Not gold but only men can make
A people great and strong;
Men who for truth and honor’s sake
Stand fast and suffer long.

Brave men who work while others sleep,
Who dare while others fly…
They build a nation’s pillars deep
And lift them to the sky.

Hat tip to Bryce for this selection.

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• Manvotional: The Man in The Arena by Theodore Roosevelt

Respect. All men wish to have the respect of those around them. One man who earned respect from his comrades and his enemies alike was America’s first president, George Washington. Washington was known for his gentlemanly comportment. Some might argue that his formality bordered on being frigid. But his formality helped earn him respect wherever he went.

When Washington was just 16 years old, he copied by hand a list of 110 rules on civility that were compiled by 16th Century Jesuit priests. I’m sure the time Washington spent as a boy writing out these rules helped shape the magnanimous statesman he would become as an adult.

While some of the rules on the list are a little too stuffy, formal, and school marmy-ish for our modern taste, many of them are still just as applicable today. A man who practices these rules will definitely distinguish himself from the other cads out there.

George Washington’s Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation

(Note: The original spelling and punctuation was retained)

1.  Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.

2. When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usually Discovered.

3. Show Nothing to your Friend that may affright him.

4. In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.

5. If You Cough, Sneeze, Sigh, or Yawn, do it not Loud but Privately; and Speak not in your Yawning, but put Your handkerchief or Hand before your face and turn aside.

6. Sleep not when others Speak, Sit not when others stand, Speak not when you Should hold your Peace, walk not on when others Stop.

7.  Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Dressed.

8.  At Play and at Fire its Good manners to Give Place to the last Commer, and affect not to Speak Louder than Ordinary.

9.  Spit not in the Fire, nor Stoop low before it neither Put your Hands into the Flames to warm them, nor Set your Feet upon the Fire especially if there be meat before it.

10. When you Sit down, Keep your Feet firm and Even, without putting one on the other or Crossing them.

11. Shift not yourself in the Sight of others nor Gnaw your nails.

12. Shake not the head, Feet, or Legs roll not the Eyes lift not one eyebrow higher than the other wry not the mouth, and bedew no mans face with your Spittle, by approaching too near him when you Speak.

13.  Kill no Vermin as Fleas, lice ticks &c in the Sight of Others, if you See any filth or thick Spittle put your foot Dexterously upon it if it be upon the Cloths of your Companions, Put it off privately, and if it be upon your own Cloths return Thanks to him who puts it off.

14. Turn not your Back to others especially in Speaking, Jog not the Table or Desk on which Another reads or writes, lean not upon any one.

15. Keep your Nails clean and Short, also your Hands and Teeth Clean yet without Showing any great Concern for them.

16. Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close.

17. Be no Flatterer, neither Play with any that delights not to be Play’d Withal.

18. Read no Letters, Books, or Papers in Company but when there is a Necessity for the doing of it you must ask leave: come not near the Books or Writings of Another so as to read them unless desired or give your opinion of them unasked also look not nigh when another is writing a Letter.

19. Let your Countenance be pleasant but in Serious Matters Somewhat grave.

20. The Gestures of the Body must be Suited to the discourse you are upon.

21. Reproach none for the Infirmities of Nature, nor Delight to Put them that have in mind thereof.

22. Show not yourself glad at the Misfortune of another though he were your enemy.

23. When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always show Pity to the Suffering Offender.
Don’t draw attention to yourself.

24. Do not laugh too loud or too much at any Public Spectacle.

25. Superfluous Complements and all Affectation of Ceremony are to be avoided, yet where due they are not to be Neglected.

26. In Pulling off your Hat to Persons of Distinction, as Noblemen, Justices, Churchmen & make a Reverence, bowing more or less according to the Custom of the Better Bred, and Quality of the Person. Amongst your equals expect not always that they Should begin with you first, but to Pull off the Hat when there is no need is Affectation, in the Manner of Saluting and resaluting in words keep to the most usual Custom.

27. Tis ill manners to bid one more eminent than yourself be covered as well as not to do it to whom it’s due Likewise he that makes too much haste to Put on his hat does not well, yet he ought to Put it on at the first, or at most the Second time of being asked; now what is herein Spoken, of Qualification in behavior in Saluting, ought also to be observed in taking of Place, and Sitting down for ceremonies without Bounds is troublesome.

28. If any one come to Speak to you while you are are Sitting Stand up though he be your Inferior, and when you Present Seats let it be to every one according to his Degree.

29. When you meet with one of Greater Quality than yourself, Stop, and retire especially if it be at a Door or any Straight place to give way for him to Pass.

30. In walking the highest Place in most Countries Seems to be on the right hand therefore Place yourself on the left of him whom you desire to Honor: but if three walk together the middest Place is the most Honorable the wall is usually given to the most worthy if two walk together.

31. If any one far Surpasses others, either in age, Estate, or Merit yet would give Place to a meaner than himself in his own lodging or elsewhere the one ought not to except it, So he on the other part should not use much earnestness nor offer it above once or twice.

32. To one that is your equal, or not much inferior you are to give the chief Place in your Lodging and he to who ‘is offered ought at the first to refuse it but at the Second to accept though not without acknowledging his own unworthiness.

33. They that are in Dignity or in office have in all places Precedency but whilst they are Young they ought to respect those that are their equals in Birth or other Qualities, though they have no Public charge.

34. It is good Manners to prefer them to whom we Speak before ourselves especially if they be above us with whom in no Sort we ought to begin.

35. Let your Discourse with Men of Business be Short and Comprehensive.

36. Artificers & Persons of low Degree ought not to use many ceremonies to Lords, or Others of high Degree but Respect and highly Honor them, and those of high Degree ought to treat them with affability & Courtesy, without Arrogance.

37. In speaking to men of Quality do not lean nor Look them full in the Face, nor approach too near them at lest Keep a full Pace from them.

38. In visiting the Sick, do not Presently play the Physician if you be not Knowing therein.

39. In writing or Speaking, give to every Person his due Title According to his Degree & the Custom of the Place.

40. Strive not with your Superiors in argument, but always Submit your Judgment to others with Modesty.

41.  Undertake not to Teach your equal in the art himself Professes; it Savours of arrogance.

42. Let thy ceremonies in Courtesy be proper to the Dignity of his place with whom thou converses for it is absurd to act the same with a Clown and a Prince.

43. Do not express Joy before one sick or in pain for that contrary Passion will aggravate his Misery.

44. When a man does all he can though it Succeeds not well blame not him that did it.

45. Being to advise or reprehend any one, consider whether it ought to be in public or in Private; presently, or at Some other time in what terms to do it & in reproving Show no Sign of Cholar but do it with all Sweetness and Mildness.

46. Take all Admonitions thankfully in what Time or Place Soever given but afterwards not being culpable take a Time & Place convenient to let him him know it that gave them.

47. Mock not nor Jest at any thing of Importance break [n]o Jest that are Sharp Biting and if you Deliver any thing witty and Pleasant abstain from Laughing thereat yourself.

48. Wherein you reprove Another be unblameable yourself; for example is more prevalent than Precepts.

49. Use no Reproachful Language against any one neither Curse nor Revile.

50. Be not hasty to believe flying Reports to the Disparagement of any.

51. Wear not your Cloths, foul, ripped or Dusty but See they be Brushed once every day at least and take heed that you approach not to any Uncleaness.

52. In your Apparel be Modest and endeavor to accommodate Nature, rather than to procure Admiration keep to the Fashion of your equals Such as are Civil and orderly with respect to Times and Places.

53. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking your Arms kick not the earth with R feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion.

54. Play not the Peacock, looking every where about you, to See if you be well Decked, if your Shoes fit well if your Stockings sit neatly, and Cloths handsomely.

55. Eat not in the Streets, nor in the House, out of Season.

56. Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for ‘is better to be alone than in bad Company.

57. In walking up and Down in a House, only with One in Company if he be Greater than yourself, at the first give him the Right hand and Stop not till he does and be not the first that turns, and when you do turn let it be with your face towards him, if he be a Man of Great Quality, walk not with him Cheek by Joul but Somewhat behind him; but yet in Such a Manner that he may easily Speak to you.

58. Let your Conversation be without Malice or Envy, for ‘is a Sign of a Tractable and Commendable Nature: And in all Causes of Passion admit Reason to Govern.

59. Never express anything unbecoming, nor Act against the Rules Moral before your inferiors.

60. Be not immodest in urging your Friends to Discover a Secret.

61. Utter not base and frivolous things amongst grave and Learned Men nor very Difficult Questions or Subjects, among the Ignorant or things hard to be believed, Stuff not your Discourse with Sentences amongst your Betters nor Equals.

62. Speak not of doleful Things in a Time of Mirth or at the Table; Speak not of Melancholy Things as Death and Wounds, and if others Mention them Change if you can the Discourse tell not your Dreams, but to your intimate Friend.

63. A Man ought not to value himself of his Achievements, or rare Qualities of wit; much less of his riches Virtue or Kindred.

64. Break not a Jest where none take pleasure in mirth Laugh not aloud, nor at all without Occasion, deride no mans Misfortune, though there Seem to be Some cause.

65. Speak not injurious Words neither in Jest nor Earnest Scoff at none although they give Occasion.

66. Be not froward but friendly and Courteous; the first to Salute hear and answer & be not Pensive when it’s a time to Converse.

67. Detract not from others neither be excessive in Commanding.

68. Go not thither, where you know not, whether you Shall be Welcome or not. Give not Advice without being Asked & when desired do it briefly.

69. If two contend together take not the part of either unconstrained; and be not obstinate in your own Opinion, in Things indifferent be of the Major Side.

70. Reprehend not the imperfections of others for that belongs to Parents Masters and Superiors.

71. Gaze not on the marks or blemishes of Others and ask not how they came. What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others.

72. Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as the Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

73. Think before you Speak pronounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly & distinctly.

74. When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended.

75. In the midst of Discourse ask not of what one treateth but if you Perceive any Stop because of your coming you may well intreat him gently to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing it’s handsome to Repeat what was said before.

76. While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face.

77. Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others.

78. Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Virtue, commend not another for the Same.

79. Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not.

80. Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith.

81. Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach those that Speak in Private.

82. Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Careful to keep your Promise.

83. When you deliver a matter do it without Passion & with Discretion, however mean the Person be you do it too.

84. When your Superiors talk to any Body hearken not neither Speak nor Laugh.

85. In Company of these of Higher Quality than yourself Speak not til you are asked a Question then Stand upright put of your Hat & Answer in few words.

86. In Disputes, be not So Desirous to Overcome as not to give Liberty to each one to deliver his Opinion and Submit to the Judgment of the Major Part especially if they are Judges of the Dispute.

87. Let thy carriage be such as becomes a Man Grave Settled and attentive to that which is spoken. Contradict not at every turn what others Say.

88. Be not tedious in Discourse, make not many Digressions, nor repeat often the Same manner of Discourse.

89. Speak not Evil of the absent for it is unjust.

90. Being Set at meat Scratch not neither Spit Cough or blow your Nose except there’s a Necessity for it.

91. Make no Show of taking great Delight in your Victuals, Feed not with Greediness; cut your Bread with a Knife, lean not on the Table neither find fault with what you Eat.

92. Take no Salt or cut Bread with your Knife Greasy.

93. Entertaining any one at the table, it is decent to present him with meat; Undertake not to help others undesired by the Master.

94. If you Soak bread in the Sauce let it be no more than what you put in your Mouth at a time and blow not your broth at Table but Stay till Cools of it Self.

95. Put not your meat to your Mouth with your Knife in your hand neither Spit forth the Stones of any fruit Pie upon a Dish nor Cast anything under the table.

96. It’s unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean & when foul wipe them on a Corner of your Table Napkin.

97. Put not another bit into your mouth till the former be swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.

98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking.

99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking, wipe your lips; breath not then or ever with too great a noise, for its uncivil.

100. Cleanse not your teeth with the table cloth napkin, fork, or knife; but if others do it, let it be done without a peep to them.

101. Rinse not your mouth in the presence of others.

102. It is out of use to call upon the company often to eat; nor need you drink to others every time you drink.

103. In the company of your betters, be not longer in eating than they are; lay not your arm but only your hand upon the table.

104. It belongs to the chiefest in company to unfold his napkin and fall to meat first, but he ought then to begin in time & to dispatch with dexterity that the slowest may have time allowed him.

105. Be not angry at the table whatever happens & if you have reason to be so, show it not; put on a cheerful countenance especially if there be strangers, for good humor makes one dish of meat a feast.

106. Set not yourself at the upper of the table; but if it be your due or that the master of the house will have it so, contend not, least you should trouble the company.

107. If others talk at the table, be attentive but talk not with meat in your mouth.

108. When you speak of God or his attributes, let it be seriously & with reverence. Honor & obey your natural parents although they be poor.

109. Let your recreations be manful not sinful.

110. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.

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The poem “George Gray” by Edgar Lee Masters is voiced by dead man who is pondering the ironic design of his gravestone. The marble sailboat seems a most befitting symbol for his life-a tool of potential motion and adventure, encased in stone. George Gray lived a small life of safety and comfort. In avoiding risk, pain, and adventure, he also missed out on all the things that make life sweet and give it meaning. He whispers to us to not make the same mistake, to live life to its very fullest so that at its end, you may have no regrets as to the things you wish you had done and the man you wished you had become.

George Gray

By: Edgar Lee Masters

I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me –
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one’s life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire –
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.

Submitted by: Chris Hutcheson

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