How To Survive and Thrive In a Street Fight in 8 Simple Steps
May 6, 2008
Let’s say you’re out with your buddies (or maybe a lovely young lady) having a good time, when all of a sudden some jackass shoves you. You didn’t do anything to instigate the guy, but it doesn’t matter.
There is a special breed of males, that when inebriated, start fights with random people. This breed, when found in their wild habitat, are often accompanied by their similarly boneheaded buddies.
Or perhaps you and your posse end up in a rumble with the Socs because one of your buddies killed a Soc while trying to save Ponyboy from being drowned by a douche bag Soc. Man, I hate them Socs. Stay golden Ponyboy.
9 Ways To Start a Fire Without Matches
April 29, 2008
There is a primal link between man and fire. Every man should know how to start one. A manly man knows how to start one without matches. It’s an essential survival skill. You never know when you’ll find yourself in a situation where you’ll need a fire, but you don’t have matches. Maybe your single engine plane goes down while you’re flying over the Alaskan wilderness, like the kid in Hatchet. Or perhaps you’re out camping and you lose your backpack in a tussle with a bear. It need not be something as dramatic at these situations-even extremely windy or wet conditions can render matches virtually uselessly. And whether or not you ever need to call upon these skills, it’s just damn cool to know you can start a fire, whenever and wherever you are.
How To Snag a Souvenir Baseball
April 15, 2008
Photo by luca.nassini
Baseball season is once more upon us. Millions of Americans will be heading to stadiums across the country to root for their team. At the game you’ll find hundreds of souvenir options: pennants, programs, jerseys, and the like. These will all cost you an arm and a leg, and they’re not even that great.
The best souvenir to bring home is a baseball you caught. It doesn’t cost you anything extra and it was actually used for play. It comes with real memories attached. But a ball isn’t going to simply fall into your lap; catching one takes a bit of finesse. Here’s how you can walk away from a ballpark with a souvenir baseball:
How To Break Down A Door
April 8, 2008
Alright, let’s get this out of the way first: kicking down a door is not the best option for opening a locked door. It will damage the door and cost you lots of money to fix it. It is better to call a locksmith, pick the lock, or attempt to crawl in a window.
But let’s say it’s an emergency. You’re in a burning house and you need to escape and the door is on fire. Or your loved ones are in a burning house and you’re locked out. You can’t stand there fiddling with the lock, you’ve got to break it down! Or perhaps a loved one is stricken with a medical emergency and is locked inside a room or in their house. What to do? Be a man, dammit! Break down that door! You know you’ve always wanted to.
Every Man Should Carry a Pocket Knife
April 1, 2008
Photo by Zoltron
It used to be that a pocket knife was an essential item that a man carried with him. You had your wallet, your keys, and your trusty pocket knife.
The History of the Pocket Knife
1st Century Romans created the first folding pocket knife. They made for easy carrying for soldiers and other explorers on their journeys and conquests. However, as the use of sheathed knives became more popular, the use of pocket knives fell somewhat into disfavor.
By the late 16th Century, pocket knives began to regain popularity. They were especially popular in the American colonies. From farmers to lawyers, men from all walks of life started to carry them. The ultimate portable tool, the pocket knife was a useful aid in various tasks, including eating on the go.
Pocket knives have been an essential tool for soldiers throughout American history. New York and New Hampshire required their militias to carry pocket knives during the American Revolution. Even George Washington toted one around as he led his troops. The U.S. Navy began issuing pocket knives to sailors during the Civil War. During WWII, the pocket knife was standard issue for American GIs.
Men have been carrying pocket knives for centuries. But with increased security at the airport and other buildings, knives have been disappearing from men’s pockets. Yet these minor obstacles are not sufficient reason to give up carrying a knife completely. The carrying of a pocket knife is a man tradition that should be continued.
Grilling the Perfect Steak
March 12, 2008
Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from AoM reader and friend Cameron Ming. Cameron is an award winning barbequer and griller here in Oklahoma.
One of the closest links between man and beast is our love for meat. But what should separate us from mere animals is the manner in which that meat is cooked. Sadly, just because you’re human doesn’t mean you’re eating your meat any better than a beast.
Cooking steak truly is like art: lots of people can draw, but not everyone is Michelangelo. Most of us will never make masterpieces at home, but getting close is much more simple than you think. Properly cooking a steak will separate you from the majority of the guys on the block and might even impress the ladies. But more important than showing up the fellas, you owe it to yourself to prepare the meat in the best way possible. It’s a matter of respect, I’d say.
The Mechanics of the Man Hug
March 7, 2008
A firm, hearty handshake is always an appropriate way for men to greet each other. But when men achieve a greater familiarity, a man hug becomes appropriate. Some men fear male on male hugging of any kind. But done in an appropriate way, men can still hug while remaining secure in their manhood. Here’s how:
Talk Like Frank Sinatra
February 11, 2008
Old Blue Eyes. The Chairman of the Board. Frank Sinatra was the epitome of American male coolness. When he walked into any room, his confident swagger created an electric charge. Women wanted to be with him and men wanted to be him.
Part of Sinatra’s manly and cool presence came from the way he talked. See, Frank had a way of livening up every part of life, even the English language. He peppered casual conversations with phrases and words that to the uninitiated sounded like a bunch of gibberish. Yet it left people intrigued, and wanting to be part of the seemingly exclusive fraternity that used this secret lingo. It not only created a magnetic attraction, but simply sounded damn cool.
Below is a dictionary of the secret man language of Frank Sinatra. Throw a few of these words into your conversations among friends. You’ll probably get a few raised eyebrows but like Frank, you’ll add spark to even the most mundane interactions.
Read more
How To Survive a Bear Attack
January 30, 2008
According to Stephen Colbert, bears are the number one threat to America today. Sure, bears look cute when they’re rummaging through a garbage can looking for food, but don’t let their cuteness lull you into carnal security. Bears are “godless killing machines.”
While bear attacks are rare, a man should always be prepared for a bear attack. You never know when you’ll need this information.
How you handle a bear attack depends on the type of bear you encounter- grizzly or black bear. So the first step in surviving a bear attack is to know what kind you’re up against.
Grizzly Bear Dossier
Color: Medium to dark brown
Body Shape: The Grizzly bears has distinct shoulder hump. This is a muscle used for digging roots and slashing prey with their massive bear paw.
Height: The grizzly bear average around 6.5 ft in height
Claws: Grizzly claws are long. They can usually be seen from a distance
Location: Grizzlies are mostly found in Canada. However, populations exist from Alaska and into portions of the northwest United States including Washington, Idaho, the Dakotas, and Montana.
How to Survive A Grizzly Attack
1. Carry bear pepper spray. Experts recommend that hikers in bear country carry with them bear pepper spray. UDAP bear pepper spray is a highly concentrated capsaicin spray that creates a large cloud. This stuff will usually stop a bear in it’s tracks.
2. Don’t run. When you run, the bear thinks you’re prey and will continue chasing you, so stand your ground. And don’t think you can out run a bear. Bears are fast. They can reach speeds of 30 mph. Unless you’re an Olympic sprinter, don’t bother running.
3. Drop to the ground in the fetal position and cover the back of your neck with your hands. If you don’t have pepper spray or the bear continues to charge even after the spray, this is your next best defense. Hit the ground immediately and curl into the fetal position.
4. Play dead. Grizzlies will stop attacking when they feel there’s no longer a threat. If they think you’re dead, they won’t think you’re threatening. Once the bear is done tossing you around and leaves, continue to play dead. Grizzlies are known for waiting around to see if their victim will get back up.
Black Bear Dossier
Color: Black bears exhibit a variety of colors ranging from black to light blond.
Body shape: Black bears don’t have the hump that Grizzlies have
Height: Black bears are slightly smaller than Grizzlies
Claws: Black bear claws are shorter than Grizzly claws.
Location: Black bears are the most common bear in North America. They live in all the providences of Canada and 41 and of the 50 American states.
How to Survive a Black Bear Attack
1. Carry bear pepper spray. As with the grizzly bear, bear pepper spray should be your first line of defense in a bear attack.
2. Stand your ground and make lots of noise. Black bears often bluff when attacking. If you show them you mean business, they may just lose interest.
3. Don’t climb a tree. Black bears are excellent climbers. Climbing up a tree won’t help you out here.
4. Fight back. If the black bear actually attacks, fight back. Use anything and everything as a weapon- rocks, sticks, fists, and your teeth. Aim your blows on the bears face- particularly the eyes and snout. When a black bear sees that their victim is willing to fight to the death, they’ll usually just give up.
Disclaimer
The Art of Manliness does not encourage people to go out and find a bear to practice these skills with. Practicing on your significant other will not do either.
Sources:
How To Give an Impressive Handshake
January 28, 2008
I’m in law school right now and As a future attorney, I’ll be shaking lots of hands: clients, potential clients, other attorneys, and judges. During that brief contact with that person, they’re going to form opinions of me. My handshake could give them the impression that I’m warm person or cold and aloof.
Maybe my handshake indicates that I’m an overbearing jerk or a wimpy McWimpsalot. We want a handshake that creates a favorable impression. We’re going to talk about how to do that.
There are three keys to a successful handshake
- How you do it
- When you do it
- Where you do it
How you do it
- Make sure your handshake is firm, not a dead fish grip. However, you don’t want to crush the other person’s hand.
- Make sure you don’t have food or grease on your hands. You want the person to remember you, not what you ate.
- If your hands are sweaty, give them a quick nonchalant wipe on your pants.
- When you off your hand, look the person in the eye and smile.
When you do it
Handshakes involve timing. Many people avoid offering handshakes because they’re afraid of being left hanging. If you’re not sure if someone will notice your offer, extend the handshake anyways. Most of the time people will notice your handshake offer and quickly grasp your hand.
Be aware of different social customs. Most cultures have different customs for shaking hands. Some find it inappropriate for a man to shake a woman’s hand and some cultures find shaking hands completely unacceptable. Be sensitive to these situations.
What if you’re left hanging?
I hate when this happens. I always feel dumb, especially when everyone but the person with whom you were trying to shake hands saw the rejection. Don’t feel embarrassed. The problem isn’t that the other person doesn’t think you’re important, you’re timing was just off.
- Don’t offer a handshake if the other person is engrossed in conversation with someone else.
- Don’t approach someone from the side with your extended hand. It’s hard to see.
- Do audibly greet the person first to get their attention and then offer your hand.
Where to do it
Handshakes are good every where. Make sure to shake plenty of hands when you go to a social gathering. Make sure to shake the hosts’ hand when arriving and leaving the gathering.
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