Comments on: Guide to Drinking for the Teetotaler

By: Hemm Tim

Hemm Tim — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 18:36:27 +0000

Just don’t drink and drive!

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:52:51 +0000

My very manly dad (a true gent) doesn’t drink and always orders either root beer or a Shirley Temple. He just loves the look on the server’s face when he does. Oh, in NYC, a Shirley Temple is grenadine and ginger ale. Grenadine and 7up is a Roy Rogers. Both taste extra zippy with a dash of bitters.

By: aussie

aussie — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:29:08 +0000

i lived in a mining town in a remote part of aussie, i had ambition,after a girlfriends death in a car crash i started drinking age 17, the mining towns had a hard drinking culture and i joined it to the max.
at the age of 55 and reflecting back on life i can only say drinking did me no favours,it was a waste of precious time and lost opportunities.
i gave it away cold turkey 4 months ago and feel great,although friday night is a struggle,I cant wait for the reunion with the boys when i order a “milk”
I think you should have the balls to say “I dont drink”
I wont let anyone translate” i dont drink “as” i dont fight”
and no i have not found god I am just a more enlightened black heathen who will stand tall wherever i go and drink what i want,……..got a problem with that?

By: James

James — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:29:03 +0000

Usually I will just ask if they have anything special for the DD’s. And if you’re like Steve-o and want to avoid the onslaught of verbal hazing for ordering a “Shirley Temple”, just ask for a Sprite and grenadine, it seems a little more dignified. That was my solution when I was too embarrassed to order one from the attractive new bartender at the local pool hall.

By: WDG

WDG — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:38:23 +0000

I highly recommend a San Pellegrino Sanbitter. It’s a non-alcoholic aperitif that taste a little like a sweeter Campari and soda. There are very few drinks on the market that have that strong, bitter taste. Most common sodas are too sweet, with little real taste.
Pellegrino also makes a bitter drink called Chinotto that’s similar.

By: jack

jack — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:48:29 +0000

I’m all for being sober. But at least make sure you have one drunk idiot around to make fun of.

By: Jacknut

Jacknut — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:31:22 +0000

This is great! I’m keeping this around for everyone who comes over and doesn’t drink.

By: Gary Olson

Gary Olson — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:55:21 +0000

Microbrewery root beers are often just as well crafted as the beers; and complement the pizza well. Warning: you may never drink mass market grocery store root beers again.

By: Eric

Eric — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:14:32 +0000

I tend to just go to a few places pretty regularly, wether to hang with friends, or just for dinner. They see me often enough now that I can just order the usual, and I get it just how I like it.

Orange juice and grenadine on the rocks. Most people wont bother you or ask about it, and for the ones who are all like that about the drinking, even if they taste it most cant figure out what it is. I got a whole table of people drinking them cause they wanted them too, and the next day I had a good chuckle with the wiatress about the placebo effect on a couple of them who acted drunker and drunker while drinking orange juice all night.

By: Cameron W

Cameron W — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:54:35 +0000

I often find that a glass of soda water with a lime wedge is just the thing to drink when I am not “drinking”. It tastes good (i love dry drinks) and looks like a gin and tonic (my usual drink of choice).

great post, keep ‘em coming.

By: Mike

Mike — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:17:40 +0000

I tend to be around heavy drinkers more often than not and have found that most are quite upset when you aren’t drinking with them. I switched form my old standby of Jack and coke some time ago in favor of Vodka and Soda. The benefits are: not as much sugar, I drink them slower, and I can switch out to just plain soda without anyone noticing.

By: Keith Brawner

Keith Brawner — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 13:40:35 +0000

Will, you have mentioned that it would be nice if Alex were to write a guide to tipping.

I have good news for you, my friend!

http://artofmanliness.com/2008/06/24/gentlemans-guide-how-much-should-tip/

By: jim

jim — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:38:54 +0000

St Pauli NA!!!

By: Harland

Harland — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:56:03 +0000

Great article. Like others above, I’m a salesperson and don’t drink alcohol. Although I’m up front about it with all my clients, drinking sodas gets boring quick so I like to mix it up (so to speak). I also don’t like to pretend I’m drinking to fool others. The soda water and splashes are a great choice for taste. At the beginning of the night I also like juices and ginger ale. Especially pineapple and ginger ale (after a while it is too much sugar).
As for telling people. I usually say, “By the end of the night, I’m really funny to everyone else.” That usually gets a laugh, breaks any tension if there was any. The key point is not to be judgemental, enjoy their company and have a good time. However, if you don’t drink, it is usually tasteful to leave before the crew is completely smashed (unless you are driving everyone home).

By: Scott

Scott — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 01:14:44 +0000

One of the problems with being a non-drinker in a college town is just plain quantity of fluids.

I’m occasionally the DD and if we’re all dancing or something it’s nearly impossible to stay hydrated in some bars You can get a half-gallon of beer in a heartbeat, but they’ll shell out diet cokes in 6 oz glasses that take forever to get. Getting a pitcher of water or of soda is nearly impossible too. The bars are there to firehose (yes, it’s a verb now) alcohol and there are often problems getting anything else. My solution at parties is to just bring my own, but bars are pretty squirrely about it.

The great payoff is getting to be just as silly as everyone else without having a hangover the next day or worried about being arrested for impaired driving.