Comments on: Manvotional: A Manly Boy

By: David

David — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:27:47 +0000

Fantastic. This should be mandatory reading for every boy and his parents. Thank you.

By: Janie Woods

Janie Woods — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 12:53:11 +0000

As a mother of three man children (17, 15 and 6), I appreciate these articles more than you know. I can honestly tell you that the one compliment I receive is how polite my son’s are. I’ve had women stunned because my youngest will hold the door for them. However, I’ve seen all my sons’ bewilderment, at young ages, at the women that don’t thank them or just blow past them when they hold a door. I just tell them, usually loud enough for the woman to hear, that all people were raised with manners.

My older boys are polar opposites–the oldest is happy go lucky and has a “oh, something will come along” attitude, whereas my middle son is focused, driven, and very goal oriented. I often wonder how I could raise such two opposites in the same house…*sigh I also think that my youngest will be the perfect combination of both: goal oriented but not so serious that he misses the fun of being young.

By: John Skookum

John Skookum — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 09:54:31 +0000

My son is 14 and bumping his way toward manhood about as well as I could hope for. Last week we came home in a hurry because my wife was away and my daughter thought she heard a funny noise downstairs. I picked up an axe and he grabbed a baseball bat, and with him at my back, together we scoured the house and made sure of his sister’s safety. He showed not a moment’s hesitation or fear. Afterwards, I thanked and complimented him, and while he grinned delightedly, I was even more impressed with his aw-shucks, no-big-deal response. Of such experiences is the steel of manliness forged. It was the first time I truly knew in my heart that I had done a good job raising him.

By: Brucifer

Brucifer — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 22:29:11 +0000

Having carried a *gasp* pocketknife ever since I was old enough to have pockets, I feel for parents today who try to raise their sons to be self-reliant and have dignity. These days, society prolongs adolescence well into one’s 20’s and “helicopter parents” shield their children from any and all “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” In many of their wimpy, passive aggressive fathers, and in many of their self-obsessed sports and media “heroes,” today’s boys have a dearth of good role models. There are so many slovenly and boorish young louts around these days, that among many young women, a boy who has manners, dresses himself well and has a modicum of personal hygiene, is automatically suspected of being gay.

By: Omar

Omar — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:27:08 +0000

Eye opening. Insightful. Most of these things I didn’t know and I’m a grown man. Everything happens for a reason. I can impart this knowledge to the youth. Thanks.

By: fubeca

fubeca — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 21:08:03 +0000

The article reminded me of a book I just started reading called Bud and Me. It’s about two young boys — Bud Abernathy, age 9, and his brother Temple Abernathy, age 5 — who would go on cross-country adventures. Their father was Jack Abernathy, a good friend of Teddy Roosevelt. You can read more about them at http://www.budandtemple.com/.

The thing that struck me about the story is that in our current society any parent who allowed their young sons to do what they did would be considered negligent and the kids would probably be taken away by the state. Back then, around the turn of the century, the boys were celebrated and got a lot of positive press.

By: Art Gonzalez

Art Gonzalez — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:51:56 +0000

I have a 13 year old (almost 14) and have always tried to be a good role model for him. He’s very much into sports (martial arts, basketball) and is very protective with his mother and little sister. I’ll share the article with him. I’m sure he’ll like it.

Many blessings,

Art Gonzalez
http://www.QuantumKnights.com

By: Kevin

Kevin — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:44:59 +0000

@Ray: Easier perhaps. Equally admirable in my book.

Sound common sense. Children become adults through responsibility, and a little bit goes a long way towards manliness. Good find.

By: Lenadams Dorris

Lenadams Dorris — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 05:59:55 +0000

As a father of a daughter I’m always interested in what is gender stereotypical versus what is gender true…or better yet, genderless true.

I read the above article substituting every instance of “boy”, “man” and “manly” with “girl”, “woman” and “womanly”, and found that there is not a sentence or admonition that did not continue to make perfect sense.

Meaning, this is not a document entrapping boys into stereotypes…it’s just plain good advice if you’re interested in raising well-adjusted and happy children…boy *or* girl.

By: Blake Helgoth

Blake Helgoth — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:46:45 +0000

I often joke that the reason we have children is so that they can do the chores. Obviously, this is not true, but we do expect our children to do chores appropriate to their abilities. The larger our family gets, the more important this becomes. Girls as young as 5 can learn to cook, boys of age 6 can clear the table, read to their younger siblings and take out the trash. Both can vacuum, make their beds, fold clothes, sort laundry, pick weeds, take mail to the mail box, put groceries away and much more. Now, it would be easier if I did it for them, but they are told that privileges comes with more responsibility. In our house, fulfilling responsibilities leads to tickets which can be used, with permission, for privileges like watching a movie, reading a book for pleasure, playing on the computer, special treats, etc. Many today do not think their children can help until they are 9 or 10 years old! However, waiting that long deprives them of the true self esteem they gain through success at helping around the house.

By: Ray

Ray — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:08:19 +0000

It is better to build a man than to try to repair one. Great post.

By: Hans Hageman

Hans Hageman — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 15:14:26 +0000

I’ve been lurking and I thought it was time to post to say “thank you.” I work with under-served youth in Harlem, New York. It is a community where mothers “raise” their daughters and “love” their sons. We generally live in culture where we refuse to acknowledge a boy’s need to face challenges, have adventure, and be dangerous – and we have not embraced our role as men to serve as their guides in this process. This has meant that the void is filled by gangs and peer culture.
The boys (including my own) have learned and will learn to box,camp, hunt, wrestle, fight in defense of those weaker than themselves, give up their set on the bus to a woman, become emergency first responders, and teach little kids how to read. Thank you, again, for providing such useful resources and a roadmap for your readers who understand what real “Rites of Passage” should consist of.

By: Lee

Lee — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 14:10:53 +0000

These articles on “boys to men” are surprisingly of use to an older man, such as myself. I was fortunate in that I’ve often enjoyed success. I did not succeed exceptionally well with my own son. As I get back up and move on, these articles speak of tasks and directions which at any age can garner an approach to a potential maxim which might read, “There are few times, indeed, when a man cannot learn to and practice being a “better man”.” I am privileged to have found this website and it’s verities.

By: K.A.

K.A. — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 11:18:37 +0000

Excellent essay!
I often tell people after a simple act of courtesy (such as holding the door or complimenting someone) that I learned it from my Dad. He had a phrase, “Good manners NEVER go out of style.” which I ascribe to. I usually follow that with “He is the smartest man I know”.
My success in life and my marriage I attribute to him.
What is sad today is that so much of our culture encourages men to act childish and not the other way around. Men are not taught to be men as boys. They are told that the goal of adulthood is to remain childish and irresponsible. No wonder so many

By: Ajmal Hamid

Ajmal Hamid — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:51:06 +0000

It is nice to find an article for young men and adolescents here at AoM.

This one is very general and would like to see something a bit more detailed on one certain subject. Like issues that young man and adolescents face and how manly men, as young men and adolescents, dealt with these problems.

Being a young man myself and a regular here at AoM, I would like to bring to your notice, lack of material focusing on young man. This one is a delight for the young minds.

Hoping to see more such articles…