Comments on: Dealing with Male Depression

By: Jared

Jared — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 07:58:48 +0000

I just wanted to come back to this post to say thanks. I’ve already expressed this to Brett, but this article was the slap to the face I needed to realize that I had severe depression. When I was going back through my AOM emails in the third week of September last year, I stumbled across this one, as I had not read it. I quickly realized how badly I was struggling with depression and started researching for a professional to visit (that I could afford). Luckily, I found Pacific University’s Psychology Service Center (http://www.pscpacific.org/) which offered me a rate based on my income, as I was unemployed at the time and not receiving UI benefits. I had my first appointment Sept. 29 (not sure why I remember the date) and met my therapist, who would stick with me over the next 10 months. For the last 3, I have been depression free, other than normal ups and downs anyone would face. I had my last appointment with my therapist on Monday. We shared a tearful farewell, yesterday, as she’s moving on to work in another clinic for a differently focused practicum, and I chose that transition to end my therapy.

When I started therapy, I was sad. Really sad. I had days that I couldn’t even bring myself to get out of bed. If I was able to convince myself to get that far, I had a hard time convincing myself to get in the shower, shave or brush my teeth. My marriage was on the rocks, I didn’t enjoy anything that I used to do for fun, my education was failing me badly, I didn’t see how I’d ever be able to afford to have kids, I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to even afford to rent a house, let alone buy one, and my career (or, rather, complete lack thereof) was a total failure. Just ten months later, I’m re-educating for a career in welding, my wife and I are doing well and working on that family, and we’re looking at places to rent or buy when our lease on our apartment is up in February. I’m back to doing my hobbies, and finding more. And, I have a self-confidence that I’ve never possessed before.

Thank you so much for this article. It has saved me. It’s saved my marriage. It’s saved my life. The support and encouragement I’ve received from reading the articles and interacting on AOM has turned me 180 degrees around. I still have days where I’m depressed, but I quickly climb out the next day and keep on where I left off before. I’m living the life that I’ve always wanted and never quite knew how to get. Now I know how…thanks to everyone at AOM.

By: Bernt

Bernt — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 22:10:22 +0000

I’m always drawn to reading about articles like this. I’ve dealt with depression in the past, and had a pretty major episode last summer that I’ve only in the past 4 months or so really been able to pull out of again. I am happy to say that I’ve never self-medicated with alcohol, drugs, etc. However, I did see a psychologist when I was in high school and honestly I found that talking to her did absolutely nothing for me at all. I am not criticizing Mr. Leahy, simply stating that talking it through may not always help all people if that makes sense.

One other thing that I always try to point out to people when discussing depression is that while there is a biochemical component to it, I think an ex-girlfriend of mine said it perfectly “its a bit like the chicken or the egg thing. Some people have depression caused by a chemical imbalance, others have the chemical imbalance caused by a traumatic event”. I think finding the root cause of the depression (admittedly easier said than done though) is probably the best way of dealing with it in the long term.

Food for thought…

By: Tina

Tina — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 18:38:18 +0000

(Is a female allowed to post a comment? haha) I started taking imipramine (antidepressant) almost 30 years ago as a prophylactic med for migraines (and secondarily for panic attacks). Normally these types of antidepressants take weeks to start working, but my headaches started getting better within 24 hours. Oh, and of course, my hidden depression was helped. That was a happy byproduct (pun).

So, in my case, I think there is a familial element and a brain chemistry imbalance. It helps to talk to a shrink, but that would never do it alone for me. I don’t know about you, wonderful writer guy, but for me… I’m convinced that there is a chem imbalance in some families.

Don’t say that you’ll never try the meds. My meds stopped my high highs and my low lows that I thought EVERYONE had. Turns out my dad is bipolar and I have a touch of it. Go with your non-med plan for as long as it works, but God gave us intelligent and creative scientists and miracle medicines for a reason. Medication shouldn’t be the first line of attack but I found out by accident (treating another disorder) that my brain needed something to make it work correctly. (PS I’ve been seeing shrinks off and on for 40 yrs…we sort of have a family shrink, so I have nothing against talk therapy.) I believe in both. However, exercise triggers migraines in my bod so I can’t comment on that.

By: Zach

Zach — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:18:14 +0000

I suffer from both depression and social anxiety disorder and I have since I was diagnosed at 15, though I believe I suffered from such from age 10. I wanted to thank you for writing this up. It has really been a “manly” light in the darkness, showing me that I can dfeat this and be a good person, and a man.

By: Dave

Dave — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 22:49:50 +0000

Great discussion of this health issue, so good to see it being aired like this.
One thing that nobody mentioned that’s very important : diet,exercise and talking about it are three key elements to controlling depression, in my opinion/experience there’s a fourth : sleep! Establish regular sleeping patterns and make sure you get enough.
This is not for anyone in the middle of a depressive episode, when it’s well nigh impossible, but when you’re on the up do this, it’s essential to a healthy life.