People would live together for a number of reasons before getting married. If you are committed to each other and do not want to get married yet (want to finish grad school, want to wait until after another friends wedding, a family member is ill), it still might make more sense to live together rather then paying for two appartments or to be able to spend more time together if you are both very busy.

Well said, in regards to Manliness correlating with respect.

@john
I didn’t quite get the relationship between “living together” and “lack of responsibility”, as determining that level of compatibility before marriage seems QUITE responsible.

I am divorced and am currently in a very strong relationship and will be meeting the parents next weekend. It has been a LONG time since I had to do anything of the sort and this article was a good refresher on what i think are the basic tenets (or should be) of any social interaction: Be nice, Be sincere. Be confident. Don’t be a jackass.
As i said though, I am divorced, my girlfriend has never been married. Any suggestions on how to handle it if the matter of my old marriage is brought up without appearing defensive or insulted?

Not everyone, especially those who are not particularly religious, equated commitment with marriage. My girlfriend and I live together, and are fully committed to each other. We are responsible when “playing house” (what a vulgar euphemism for two people expressing their love) and use birth control (in fact, she was my “first). We plan on marrying before we have children. I agree that no couple should live together without committing to each other, but, if they do not view marriage as a religious obligation, why should the state be require to approve of their commitment?

P.S. Manliness also correlates with respect, especially for women. Your rude and dismissive reply to Julie does you no favors if improving your manliness is your goal.

What you said about being engaged in conversations, really does go along way to presenting you in the best light and building a relationship with your in-laws or in-laws-to-be.

This really is a must read for any man setting out to meet his girlfriend or wife’s parents for the first time.

As a general rule, I strongly believe in living together before marriage. There’s simply no other way of knowing whether your living habits are compatible. Why find that out AFTER you get married and it’s so much harder to separate if you realize things aren’t working out because you like staying up until 4 am while she wants to wake up at 7 am? Or because one of you is a neat freak and the other’s a slob?

This autumn, I will be moving in with my boyfriend of two years, with both my parents’ blessing. They are both firmly in the “live together before marriage” camp. Just food for thought.

I guess what I meant is that it’s hard for me to imagine that doing stuff like shaking hands well, looking people in the eye, and saying “You have a nice house!” could come off as artificial and weird. I think those kinds of things are somewhat easy to turn on when you need to. But I’m obviously taking a very narrow view as a guy raised to be polite. And people who have never done it might well come off badly if they suddenly tried.

Then again, I’m a Southerner in transplant country (i.e., I live in an area of the South where a large portion of the population is made up of Yanks and others who have invaded moved in from elsewhere), so perhaps I see more rudeness where everyone else might see politeness.

@Michael-Did calling your in-laws “mom” and “dad” come naturally? My mother-in-law told me I could call her mom, but it seems strange to me. What do all of you out there call your in-laws: first names? Mr. and Mrs?

@Tyler-Awesome, awesome story. 1500 man points right there.