Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Brad Miner. Mr. Miner is the author of The Compleat Gentleman. For a chance to win his book, see the details below.
What was once called sprezzatura, a wonderful word coined by the sixteenth-century writer Baldassare Castiglione, is a kind of graceful restraint that is an elemental characteristic of true civility. It helped define Western ideas about the gentleman, and it helped strangers to manage the slow transition to friendship.
Castiglione was an advisor to Popes Leo X and Clement VII, and to the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V. Castiglione’s The Book of the Courtier appeared in 1528, but it has surprising freshness today. It was considered revolutionary in its time, and yet Castiglione’s take on manliness owed much to Aristotle and Cicero. The ideal courtier was to have Aristotelian arete, which is to say excellence. An aristos (whence our word aristocrat) was educated in the best ideas and tempered by training to possess the best impulses, martial and artistic. He was, in Jacob Burckhardt’s phrase, engaged in “self-fashioning.” For Aristotle — and for men of the Renaissance such as Castiglione and Shakespeare — the standard for self-fashioning was the “golden mean,” the center between extremes. As Peter Burke explains: “Courage is defined as the mean between rashness and cowardice, liberality as the mean between extravagance and parsimony, and so on.” From Cicero, Castiglione took the Stoic concept of neglentia diligens (studied negligence), an obvious precursor to sprezzatura. And like many writers of his period, Castiglione respected Ovid’s famous observation, “Ars est celare artem.”
The purpose of art is to conceal itself.
Castiglione advocates such “art” in the formation of the gentleman, but his critics say he means pretense or dishonesty, and Castiglione’s courtier has come down to us as a superficial fellow content to fake it if he can — so long as the deception is shrewd.
Sprezzatura in Practice
No one is born a gentleman. Becoming one is a matter of education, and Castiglione’s “art” is really the practice of the principles that when finally internalized create the man whose urbanity, wit, athleticism, and restraint have sunk into his sinews.
A gentleman practices sprezzatura so that he can get it right. Confucius said that “although the gentleman may not have attained goodness, he acts in such a way so that he might become good.”
Developing sprezzatura is a worthy challenge in a culture that discourages and is suspicious of discretion and restraint. Many people are simply aghast at taciturnity. We tend to distrust anyone we suspect of not being “open.”
But the whole point of restraint, and the etiquette supporting it, is to give us a chance to negotiate slowly and carefully the difference between being strangers and becoming friends.
The handshake developed as a way strangers could show themselves unarmed. It was a sensible and cautious first step towards friendship. We do well to remember that intimacy must be a process, a negotiation, and that who meets a stranger and jumps quickly into bed, so to speak, has a better than even chance of waking up next to an enemy.
The ability to pause before acting and then to act sensibly is manifest prudence, which is the first among the cardinal virtues.
A man who has sprezzatura is content to keep his own counsel. He not only does not need to have his motives understood, he prefers that they not be understood. His actions, including his carefully chosen words, speak for him. It is not necessary for others—save his intimates—to know more.
Although it is not specifically a reason for embracing circumspection, it so happens that a discrete gentleman amasses, over time, a tremendous edge in the affairs of this world. He hears things that others do not, because people of all sorts confide in him, knowing that he will not betray their trust. The knowledge of the human heart that the compleat gentleman thus develops can be a burden, but it is also something of a liberation. It may call upon every bit of his strength to restrain himself from saying or doing more than he ought with knowledge gained from friendship, but there it is.
The art (and depth) of sprezzatura is defined by a man’s power: the stronger and wiser he is, the gentler his manner and the more circumspect his speech; the more, in other words, his true self is hidden.
Of course there is more to sprezzatura than just restraint. There is the quality people refer to when a man is called suave. Cary Grant was usually a gentleman in his film roles because he seemed able to do difficult things with ease and because he seemed a “man of the world,” not only suave but urbane as well. One could not imagine him saying anything inappropriate, and it was inconceivable that he would blurt out an intimacy, perhaps not even to an intimate friend. He knew the difference between a true friend, an acquaintance, and a stranger.
Implicit in sprezzatura is not only an effortless elegance but also a strenuous self-control. In the end, to be a gentleman is to hold Stoically, quietly to the conviction that he not be seen doing his “gentlemanly thing.” Silence really is golden. As Cervantes has Sancho Panza put it: “A closed mouth catches no flies.”
The Compleat Gentleman Giveaway
Intrigued by the concept of sprezzatura? Want to know more about the virtues and attributes that every man should seek to cultivate? Enter to win a copy of Brad Miner’s The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man’s Guide to Chivalry. Mr. Miner reaches back in time to recover the oldest and best ideals of manhood. The book explored the roles every man should embody: warrior (a readiness to face battle for a just cause), lover (he lets a woman be what she wants to be) and monk (a man possessing true knowledge).
We’re giving away 2 copies of The Compleat Gentleman to AoM readers. To enter to win, leave a comment about a figure, historical or present day, famous or not, fictional or real, who either showed a mastery of the art of sprezzatura or an embarrassing disregard for it.
Contest ends Friday, July 17, 2009 at 11PM CST.
As usual, I’ll randomly pick two people from the entries.
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I feel that a stellar example of sprezzatura and manliness in general is Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain. Famed as the commander of the 20th Maine at Gettysburg he was also fluent in nine languages other than English and as a proffesor of rhetoric at Bowdain College knew well the power of a well measured word. He also knew however that action was far more powerful than words and it was his gallantry in battle at Gettysburg and elsewhere that earned him the loyalty and trust of his men. However I think the most poignant example of gentlemanly conduct on the part of Chamberlain took place during the Confederate surrender at Appomatix. Chamberlain had been selected to oversee the parade of Confederate infantry coming to surrender their weapons and battle standards. On his own initiative, he ordered his men to come to attention and carry arms as a show of respect to their defeated enemies. I feel that respect for all those who have earned it, even in defeat is a mark of a gentleman.
Humphrey Bogart! Not the way people saw him on the stage or silver screen but the way he was in real life.
A true gentleman he never accepted a lie, always treated people well. He raised his son together with his wife Bacall in a way most men only wish they could, knowing that his son would be the one bringing their family name on throughout history and by so he must raise his son the way he himself was raised… A true gentleman.
He stayed faithful to his wife.
He was always ready to defend himself and others he knew,
and he possessed knowledge, that I, dream of having.
James Bond
I would say the embarassing opposite of Sprezzatura are 9 out of 10 Twitter-users…. No restraint, no discretion, filling space with endless and meaningless chatter. Twitter-users are the opposite of Cary Grant’s quiet sophistication and aura of mystery.
@Brian – I just graduated from Bowdoin!! Good to see it mentioned.
I was thinking that any of the feudal Samurai could fit into the definition of gentlemen. Most followed a strict social and militaristic code, that while not the same as Sprezzatura, certainly had similar effects.
The first man to come to my mind was Sir Richard Francis Burton. I had never heard of the man before the article was posted on this site, but since then, have become highly interested in both his character, and his life as an explorer.
Chris Brown
Atticus Finch has Sprezzatura more than any man I’ve heard of – he is an ideal role model for any man, and displays every quality written about in the article. I still find i unbelievable that ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ was written by a woman, yet contains such a perfect example of true manliness.
General Patton had a disregard for, even a contempt of, sprezzatura. He was a man of shock and awe; who moved boldly and strongly but rarely with discretion or restraint.
My pastor back in College Station was quiet but always kept us on track. He steadily beat the drum of helping others in the their relationship with Jesus. Great man.
For embarrassing lack: Mark Sanford. Holy Hell! His weepy, rambling news conference. His saying that his affair was more than an affair that it was a true love story, and that his mistress was his soul mate. It was like watching the death of manliness right there. No reserve or sense of propriety whatsoever.
Another individual who demonstrated a lack of sprezzatura: Bill Clinton. While he is obviously an intelligent man, his tendency to make everyone immediately feel like an intimate friend was both a strength in his field of politics and his greatest weakness. If he could have balanced his intelligence with even a modicum of circumspection, he could have avoided some disastrous personal and political decisions. Instead he became a classic Greek tragedy: taken down by his own weaknesses.
This reminds me of Proverbs 22:3
The prudent sees danger and hides himself,but the simple go on and suffer for it.
AND
Ecclesiastes 5:3 (New Living Translation)
Too much activity gives you restless dreams; too many words make you a fool.
Cary Grant is who comes to mind for me. This looks like an interesting book! I agree with Dan that Twitter is the opposite!
For my fellow (original) Tom Clancy fans, I would say that Jack Ryan Sr. did his best to show sprezzatura, though like any human, he was fallible and probably not the best example, but one that sticks out in my mind.
Abdullah II bin al-Hussein, King of Jordan, shows spressatura. A true renaissance man, check out his Wiki article.
Kimbei, the lead samurai in the (excellent) film Seven Samurai.
For a polar opposite of sprezzatura you’d be hard pressed to find a more glaring example than any of the characters played by Sacha Baron Cohen. Not only do these characters speak and act imprudently to anyone and everyone, they revel in it as a form of comic expression.
Bruno from the recent movie shows a embarrassing disregard for sprezzatura!
Love your site by the way.
In the film 300, the Spartans watch as Zeus wreaks havoc upon the Persian ships at sea. While the soldiers glory in the destruction, the narrator notes that only one among them kept his Spartan calm: Leonidas.
@Brett
How’s the 30 Days ebook coming?
A more recent example – Richard Feynman. A prime example of the acquired nature of sprezzatura, he learned the art of being a gentleman over the course of his life.
T. E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia) embodied so many good qualities, this among them…
I’m gonna go with disregard and a short Youtube clip. Recently President Barack Obama went to Russia and got snubbed by a number of Russians in the handshake line… gentlemanly fail on their part. I may not be the president’s biggest fan but I would at least be a gentleman enough to be polite and shake his hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHEposwhovk&feature=player_embedded
I would nominate our Congress for showing true sprezzatura in historical times and nominate many of it’s members now for showing a true lack of sprezzatura in recent times. This is an interesting qaundry. “Back in the Day” our political figures for the most part exhibited true sprezzatura in their mannerism, tact, respect and overall zeal for their elected positions and their constituents. As history as unfolded so have our political figures in terms of sprezzatura….like tents. I don’t know when it really began to fall apart but perhaps a good transitional figure would be Jack Kennedy. A man who had all the tools to exhibit true sprezzatura but whose faults crept into the public eye via the media (AND HELL THE MEDIA IS THE WORST AT EXHIBITING TRUE SPREZZATURA). Since that time Katie bar the door…..our polticial figures have gone off the deep end. Lying, stealing cheating from their constituents and more importantly their spouses and only expressing any sort of remorse when they get caught. And once caught instead of taking it like a man/woman they become blubbering idiots…where have all the True Gentlemen of Politics Gone…Cue the crickets.
Tokugawa Ieyasu in “Abarembo Shogun” a Japanese television show that played briefly in Canada showed the shogun as a prime example of sprezzatura. The Japanese idea of Bushido is remarkably compatible with Castiglione’s sprezzatura.
In The Great Gatsby Nick Carraway displays these qualities well. He does use discretion in his relations with Jordan, and is weary to not become too intimate in a time of such classic unrest and intemperance leading to the Stock Market Crash and Great Depression. He was still a classic gentleman as he performed much the role of an observer to the action with Gatsby and Daisy, whose lack of the above qualities such as tact and restraint led to a rather morbid ending of a man lost in his own self-satisfying pursuit. There is nothing less satisfying than the pursuit of one’s own happiness.
My father continues to model sprezzatura, now in his seventies. He is a man of few words… but when he speaks, we listen and when he acts… it is with confidence and beyond reproach. He does not believe in idle phone conversations, so when he calls… I know it’s important. He does not say anything that he doesn’t mean and notes everything said and done in his presence. When he pays a compliment, it has been earned. He carries himself with a certain dignity that demands the respect and trust of complete strangers. It amazes me… how a man who seemingly communicates so little… actually communicates so much.
Sherlock Holmes is an excellent example of sprezzatura not only our of principle, but out of necessity. His singular ability for discretion paid off when it furthered his cases and gave him an enviable reputation throughout Europe. Holmes often confided only in his doctor companion–and even he was at times left in the dark. This quality contributed to his overall sense of mystery and his gentlemanly stature, although I’m sure the practice of bartitsu didn’t hurt either.
Well, Jim beat me to Lawrence of Arabia, so I’ll go with Obi-Wan Kenobi.
My vote is for Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson. His steadfastness in his Faith, his faithfulness to his wife of many years, a goodly father to his sons and daughters, and his bravery and comprehension of battle tactics won many battles and the respect of his fellow officers and men under his command. There was a very good reason he was Robert E Lee’s right hand man. (Incidentally R.E. Lee would be a good candidate himself) My wife and I revere him so that our son is named for him.
I would say that Merlin would be a good example of depicting sprezzatura. Although there are countless descriptions and stories about Merlin, most of the versions (at least that I have read) describe his raising of a young Arthur to be very subtle. Continually challenging the boy to solve problems and think for himself, only giving hints when absolutely necessary, despite the fact that the man knows the answers all along is a great example of sprezzatura.
I’ll go for the Sunday school answer on this one: Jesus Christ. See John 2:23-25; 1 Peter 2:23.
To point out a politician who is an example of sprezzatura, Ronald Reagan. His strength came at a time when the country truly needed it. He was humble and comforting. True sprezzatura.
Atticus Finch from ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ sums it up. A true gentleman, willing to step up for what is right, regardless of the popular sentiment. Gracious to women, children, and the less fortunate and able to speak truth to power.
From fiction – Doc Savage. He was ever the gentleman, kind to everyone, he was strong, fast, silent, and no one ever knew what he was really thinking or what his genius plan was until after he had enacted it. He discussed important things when he had to, and the rest of the time, he made his own decisions.
From real life – George Washington. His intimate friends may have known about his depressions, but he never showed them to his troops. His men could always see him as a steadfast leader. The kind of leader that the U.S. needs as it sought independence.
For a complete lack of discretion look no further than Brock Lesner’s comments and actions after winning his recent fight. “Frank Mir had a horseshoe up his ass. I told him that a year ago. I pulled it out of him and beat him over the head with it. I’m going to drink a Coors Light. That’s right a Coors. Bud Light don’t pay me nothing. I may even get on top of my wife tonight.”
For an unexpected example of the subtleness and character that embodies the spirit of Sprezzatura look to the Tank Man, the unknown man who was “ready to fight” and subtly showed his position by calmly halting a line of tanks in Tiananmen square. That was a man that owned who he was and what he stood for and did it in a way that ade the boldest of statements but in an understated manner.
Proverbs 14:3 A fool’s talk brings a rod to his back, but the lips of the wise protect them.
Thanks for work on the website Brett. Very thoght provoking. I’ve gleaned some nugget of wisdom from most everything I’ve read on this site.
On the issue of American leaders I would say Aaron Burr was one of the first politicians to lack sprezzatura. His rivalry and contempt for Alexander Hamilton was completely open to the public, not that Hamilton wasn’t a hot head himself. Even when they dueled Hamilton planned to just shoot at the ground, but Burr didn’t hide the fact that he planned to shoot to kill, and kill he did. Truly the first disgraceful politician in America’s history.
Abraham Lincoln, in particular his dealings with Gen. McClellan, whom he had to replace with Burnside. A lesser man would have raged at McClellan’s failures, demanded an explanation, or humiliated him publicly. Lincoln’s letters show quiet restraint and resolve to do what he thought best for the country.
My grandfather, Mark Argyle, was a compleat gentleman. Raised on a farm in the Mountain West, he put himself through school by hunting ducks and geese for a local butcher. He was a star athlete in college, playing football and baseball. He brought his young family through the Great Depression by teaching school by day and working nights at a cannery. On the day of his retirement as a Jr. High Principal at age 65, he visited the boys PE class and did 5 head stand pushups. He served as a lay clergyman for his church for 15 years. He taught me how to whittle, shoot, fish, build a fire, and grow a garden. He also taught me quiet dignity. As an example of his sprezzatura, I’ll relate a story my father told me. On a family vacation, driving through Colorado sometime in the late ’40s, Grandpa was involved in a minor car accident. While meeting with an insurance adjuster, the agent told Grandpa that if they altered the accident report just a little, he could disburse a $300 claim on the spot. Grandpa listened quietly, asked a question or two, then politely said “No thank you.” As they left the insurance office, my father, then a young teen, heard Grandpa mutter under his breath, “Nobody’s going to make a liar out of me for 300 bucks!”
I would nominate Robert Heinlein, an author whose characters embodied many a manly trait. He was a true renaissance man, and while he was passionate about many causes (including blood drives) he was also a patriot, a futurist, and could write rollicking good stories.
Love this article, btw. I don’t always agree with some of your opinions, but I always find them interesting, and this one especially resonated. Well done.
Some good examples above,
I would add from history
Dwight Eisenhower ,winning general, the president who warned us of the military industrial complex and a gentleman able to deal with strong prickly personalities to get the job done.
The anti-sprezzatura, the men on day time television “talk” shows.
I will say the Prince of Preachers, C. H. Spurgeon. Here are a few quotes from the man that help drive the point home:
“Never talk of what you have done, but go on to something else. An officer rode up to his general, and said, ‘Sir, we have taken two guns from the enemy.’ ‘It is well,’ said the general, ‘take two more.’” -C. H. Spurgeon
“The man who never reads will never be read. He who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains, proves that he has no brains of his own. Brethren, what is true of ministers is true of all our people. You need to read. My books are my tools. They also serve as my counsel, my consolation, and my comfort. They are my source of wisdom and the font of my education. They are my friends and my delights. They are my surety, when all else is awry, that I have set my confidence in the substantial things of truth and right.” -C. H. Spurgeon
Han Solo, at first glance I might say not so sprezzatura, however what looks like a lack of restraint is merely a cover of a rather suave, hidden individual.
Maybe I’m off, clearly I’m in need of this book.
Robert E. Lee. It’s true that he has been idolized to a ridiculous degree, but he was still, in almost every way, a true gentleman. We can debate his decision to fight for the Confederacy, but he made his decision based on what he thought was right after a long personal debate. In defeat he showed great dignity and humility. His opponent, U.S. Grant, was another example, showing equal humility and dignity in victory.
I would have to say Robert E Lee. When I was at West Point we naturally studied the American Civil War. I went into History with very little idea of why this man would abandon the United States to fight and lead the Confederate States Army. Here was a man who stood for what he believed in and did what he felt was right even though he disagreed with Virgina’s secession. He epitomized “Duty, Honor, Country” and I believe instilled it in many that followed him. Even at the very end, Grant allowed Lee to keep his saber and Traveller, his horse. By the way, I’m from Arizona so don’t really have any hero worship of Confederate leaders; I just admired the man for being, well, a man.
I would say Dr. James Jones Jr. is the a premier example of a current day gentleman and a true stalwart man. Dr. Jones is currently President of Trinity College in Hartford, CT
Two gentlemen with mastery of sprezzatura came immediately to mind: Sergei Ivanov, AKA Socrates in Dan Millman’s “Peaceful Warrior” books, and Edward R. Murrow, famed broadcaster.
I would say Franz Liszt. What a showman, practicing sprezzatura through the medium of music. His pieces (and I had the good fortune to play one of his pieces) are extremely difficult but beautiful – somehow, Liszt made playing the most technically challenging music easy. He even shaped the way we all play the piano today at concerts, angling the piano so that the audience can watch his hands run and leap smoothly over the keys.
Maybe the most overlooked would be the gentleman’s gentleman. A fantastic example would be the role of Alfred in the Batman / Dark Knight series.
As a high school teacher, it is really frustrating to me to see the total lack of manners and ettiquette in our youth. It’s fashionable to be coarse, crass, vulgar, and unkempt. “Dressing up” for some of these slobs is ironing a crease down the middle of their egregiously baggy pants. I’m only 30, so I have a pretty firm connection to the youth, but it’s getting pretty ridiculous.
Benjamin Franklin was pretty good at sprezzatura. His “air of diffidence” is a technique I have tried to imitate (with some success) and he, despite his various moral failings, is well remembered as one of the Founding Fathers, an obvious example of sprezzatura working in his favor.
I second the James Bond comment, too.
But we also can’t forget MacGyver!
You may disagree with his politics, but Barack Obama has sprezzatura in spades. Extremely intelligent, extremely well-spoken, a man who carefully chooses what he will say. He’s reserved for a politician, you feel like you don’t completely know what he’s thinking. Now Joe Biden…….
Thanks, Brett and Kate! I had never heard of the sprezzatura before today — another great example of gentlemanly conduct. An exemplary sprezzatura in my life is Prof. Ratnesh Nagda at the University of Washington in the School of Social Work. I thought that he was reserved and soft-spoken when I first met him, and after I got to know him after a year, I realized that his character is buttressed by an iron rod of commitment and integrity. He works to build alliances across races and gender to deconstruct racial and gender oppression. He certainly is a sprezzatura – a scholar, a companion, and a warrior of change!
How about Louis L’Amour? He left home and high school early in his life and worked his way around the world as a drifter, miner, sailor, and boxer. He spent every free moment reading and educating himself in a time when books were so much more scarce than they are today. I recently read his memoir “Education of a Wandering Man” and was very impressed by his discipline and drive to improve himself. And, of course, his books are full of some incredibly manly characters, most notably Mathurin Kerbouchard from “The Walking Drum.”
Ronald Reagan definitely had sprezzatura.
I immediately think of Captain Sullenberger for his calm handling of the emergency landing in the Hudson river and subsequent assertions that he simply did his job like he was supposed to do.
I would say Lord Baden Powell.
A fictional character “Jean Luc Picard” from Star Trek The Next Generation. A true renaissance man; scholar, gentleman, warrior, explorer, musician, leader. This character embodies sprezzatura to his very core. He was not born this way but developed himself through experience.
Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin (“The Family Guy”) utterly lack sprezzatura.
In regard to a man that has displayed sprezzatura well I am reminded of Strider/Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings. Both in the printed page on the silver screen he is portrayed as a man that is ready to fight for what is right, patient, possessing great knowledge of the land and history and caring for those that he knows as his friends.
I am going to have to say that King Arthur and any of the knights of the round table would fit sprezzatura wonderfully. They were brave and strong defeating evil in the land, lovers in that they believed in the damsel in distress, and a monk through their pious nature. One was holy enough to see the Holy Grail, if you believe the story. They were military tacticians and backed everything they said and believed in with hardened steel.
Samwise Gamgee, from the Lord of the Rings.
Hobey Baker – the Princeton hockey and football great who became one of the best American fighter pilots in World War I. He died tragically at the end of the war in a plane crash. He exemplified the quality of restraint on the athletic field/rink and in times of war.
The Hobey Baker Award is annually given to the best college hockey player – kind of like the Heisman Trophy of college hockey.
Father’s Way.
Nothing shall retain him.
Impetuous emotions
BURST!
It shall be his way
Or no way…
For those of you familiar with the ever popular movie 300, I recommend Steven Pressfield’s novel Hot Gates. It is a re-telling of the familiar tale of Thermopalye from the perspective of a Spartan helot…a slave. If anyone is familiar with it the epitome of sprezzatura was demonstrated by the character Dienekes. Calm and collected, mastering his own fear, and leading man by his example. Also circumspection when dealing with hot-heads of equal or great rank (Polynikes). His character is one I often refer back to as a role model.
John Steed (Patrick Macnee) – Armed with only a brolly and a bowler (steel rimed) he would take on any threat that would come his way. And who wouldn’t want to be the man that kept Emma Peel interested? His charm and wit kept him unflappable in all situations. While he kept his own counsel, you knew he was on top of things all the time, or at least if he wasn’t you would never know it.
Colonel Andrew Summers Rowan
This man was the subject of an essay written by Elbert Hubbard in 1899 titled “A Message to Garcia.”
From Wikipedia – The essay celebrates the initiative of a soldier who is assigned and accomplishes a daunting mission. He asks no questions, makes no objections, requests no help, but accomplishes the mission. The essay exhorts the reader to apply this attitude to his own life as an avenue to success.
For as much a T. Roosevelt is praised on AoM, so too should Rowan.
I apologize if the links don’t work right…
Read the essay:
[url=http://books.google.com/books?id=3DguAAAAYAAJ&dq=a+message+to+garcia&printsec=frontcover&source=bn&hl=en&ei=_fNcStHxB4X-tQPpt92dCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4]A Message to Garcia[/url]
Read what Colonel Rowan himself had to say:
[url=http://www.foundationsmag.com/rowan.html]How I Carried The Message to Garcia[/url]
Keith Obermann.
I’d have to go with Argentine soccer star Diego Maradona as a prime example of one who lacks sprezzatura. It is of course hard to maintain restraint when you’re a megastar, but this guy snorted away any redeeming characteristics or athleticism he had. Too bad.
Good call on Keith Olbermann, Dy Phan (I assume as an anti-example of spezaturra).
Wow! I’m stoked to hear that The Art of Manliness teamed up with Brad Miner to write today’s post.
I requested that the book be one of my presents on my 17th birthday. That was three years ago, and it’s proven to be a great book which has in no small way influenced my approach to life.
I second the Atticus Finch nominations and add another literary figure in Jake Barnes from Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises.
Sir Thomas Moore would be my choice. His ability to provide council for Kings and ambassadors of feuding nations, while still maintaining and staying true to his integrity is something few gentlemen have achieved. Within his publications he holds true to the ideals of sprezzatura, only holding himself answerable the higher power he believes in.
Capt. Jack Aubrey and Atticus Finch from the fictional realm. T.E. Lawrence and J.L. Chamberlain from the real world.
John Adams. This man stood for justice. He aslo managed to befriend his greatest political adversary, Thomas Jefferson. Despite their philisophical differences, he believed that Jefferson could be a force for good even after Adams’ death. Unfortunately, Jefferson died 5 hours earlier.
Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (especially after Elizabeth refused him).
In light of the recent movie release, I am going to go with Dumbledore here.
well i hate to be a dork here but an exemplary example of what a true gentleman is I would have to say “Lt. Armstrong” from the anime series “Full Metal Alchemist”. He even looks a lot like the guy on the front page lol.
Stonewall Jackson exemplified this on and off the battlefield.
SIr Percy, the main character from the Baroness Orczy novel “The Scarlet Pimpernel” is almost the perfect example of a true gentleman. I’d love to go into more details, but I hate to ruin anything about the book, as it’s wonderful and I recommend it to everyone.
A failed example would be anyone who has run for president in the past few years. If someone wants to impress me about themselves, it shouldn’t be by trying to belittle their opponent. A real man, can let the mud fly around him without joning in in the throwing.
Someone that I think of that was a good practitioner of sprezzatura was Andrew Carnegie. He was probably the origin of the phrase “rags to riches.” He became one of the wealthiest men in the world and then gave most of his money away to charities and organizations. He was not without controversy though, as most wealthy/famous people are not.
I have to go with Theodore Roosevelt.
My vote has got to go hands down to Mr. Frank Zappa.
To make a long story short, back in the mid-1980’s FZ was on an episode of “Crossfire” in which he was being yelled at by a guy named Tom Braden about the labeling of rock & roll lyrics. Zappa was a complete gentleman and through his calmess and direct manner made the other guy look like a raving nut (which he was).
Rick Rescorla. Professional soldier (Battle of Ia Drang) and Head of security at Morgan Stanley in the years leading up to 911. There’s a couple of thousand or so people who owe him their lives. He was last seen going BACK UP THE STAIRS of WTC 2 to try to bring more people down, probably knowing full well he wouldn’t make it out. His body was never recovered. “Rescorla taught Morgan Stanley employees to save themselves. It’s a lesson that has become, somehow, rare and precious. When the tower collapsed, only 13 Morgan Stanley colleagues–including Rescorla and four of his security officers–were inside. The other 2,687 were safe.”
Read more here: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1810315-3,00.html.
I can answer both sides of that proposition with the same answer; MJ
Michael Jordan was not only excellent, far above any one else in his field at the time, but in his demeanor.
Michael Jackson on the other hand, while being excellent in his field, far above any other, showed no restraint or balance in his personal life.
How is that for a well balanced answer?
Robert E. Lee. Hands down.
The man who best exemplifies sprezzatura to me is my dad. Virtuous to a fault, he always showed me how to do what was right, but was always shy and modest about talking about himself. His example was never lost on me, and I’ll always be grateful to him.
Jesus, speaking in parables, artfully hid his true identity from the Pharisees. Also, being the God-man, he is the epitome of all things manly.
The antithesis of sprezzatura is Mike Tyson.
I doubt there has ever been a man in history who has shown less class, poise or self-restraint; in fact, he gives off an air of complete lack of self-control almost at all times.
He is pure animal, base instinct, and all that a gentleman should strive not to be on a regular basis. From the outlandish insults and threats that fly out of his mouth, to his unruly and often unthinkable behavior, the man is the polar opposite of path towards sprezzatura (based on what I have recently learned about it – from this website
.
I’m going to throw my hat into the ring and go with Francis Ford Coppola. I just finished reading a short bit about him in the August issue Esquire and was impressed with the clarity and thought that came across everything that he said. There was a thoughtful, yet extremely personable tone to his responses that seemed to embody what sprezzatura should be in the modern context, as well as the fantastic photograph of him, jolly, portly, and well-dressed. This all, coupled with the fact that he’s managed to uncompromisingly convey his craft over so many years and remain steadfast in that pursuit, as well as taking on other ventures (wine!), seems just about perfect to me.
This is a tough one. I always think of Tom Haden from The Godfather as the wise counsel. Not prone to the outbursts of Sonny, careful in keeping the secrets of the family, helpful to the ascension of Michael.
Fictional, I know, but real life is much, much more filled with feet of clay.
I’ve always considered Benjamin Disraeli to have sprezzatura. He was charming, clever, but never let anything of himself come through except when it was wholly necessary. While his politics were often self-serving, he was assuredly a gentleman (it was said that “When I sat next to Gladstone, he quite convinced me he was the cleverest man in all England. When I sat next to Disraeli, he convinced me I was the cleverest woman in all England.”) and a subtle one.
I think the concept of the modern media celebrity in general is a defining example of lack of sprezzatura. From the ever popular example of pop idols such as Brittany Spears, to the idea behind American Idol, popular culture is saturated with the idea that everyone has some talent everyone else should hear about.
George Washington. Humble, wise, confident, strong, caring, dutiful, reserved. A true gentleman and one who did a great job of showing Sprezzatura throughout his life.
I think Dr Who had Sprezzatura. He always seems to know a lot more than what he says.
I believe that The Compleat Gentleman: The Modern Man’s Guide to Chivalry is something we just dont see enough of it anymore. So I think this book is very in genius! I would personally Love to have a copy of this Book to read. It sounds like Book that is well worth the efffort of reading.
9 out of 10 men on the train who do not give their seats up for women
I will go with the anti-Sprezzatura, and nominate today’s male on the whole.
While there are examples of Sprezzatura amoung us, many here on this site; I find it interesting and sad that so many have had to reach back into the past to find examples of what true gentlemanliness is. It is an undervalued attribute in a day and age when getting ahead at any cost seems to be the most valued of attributes. We’ve devolved into a society that sees only as far as satisfying its appetites, at their most base, and are paying a heavy price for it. Too many of todays males have sought to “gain the world”, and have lost thier soul in the process.
That is why I’m greatful for websites such as this, which serve to remind, educate, and encourage males to act like real men. A place where words like integrity, honor, chivalry, and fidelity are not considered foriegn, or the vocabulary of the weak.
Georgie S. Patton, Jr. hands down wins for complete disregard of sprezzatura.
My pastor, Steve Stroope.
Hank Reardon from Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” is a great example of the restraint you cited in describing sprezzatura.
Two characters from Iliad – Hector as the embodiment of sprezzatura, and Achilles, the antithesis.
One of the best social master of Sprezzatua (even if it was not named like this) was with no doubts the great XIXth Century dandy George Bryan Brummel. He was considered as more influential than the Prince Of Wales (the future king George IV). He was sometime harsch or cruel, but always with exquisite manners…
Guys , even if you don’t win the book its worth the effort to get and read. I have the first edition and along with the book Once an Eagle by Anto Myer it is required reading for my sons.
Paul
Austin Powers was pretty suave… NOT!
Achilles didn’t have sprezzatura.
How about Robin Hood or the Three Musketeers? I especially like Errol Flynn’s version of Robin.
Pierre Trudeau, former Prime Minister of Canada. Always properly attired, stylish but never fashionable, a man with real flair.
I know this may be unpopular with some, but I am going to say that Jesus is a perfect example of Sprezzatura. Being God’s son, he was the embodiment of restraint, as he had full access to power of God. He was incredibly strong and wise, yet continually humbled himself. He was also steadfast in his purpose and beliefs (he was considered a heretic by the Jewish Officials), and in the end, he made the ultimate sacrifice by giving his life for the people he loved: you and me.
First that comes to mind is George Washington.
Madoff – need I say more.
My example of a LACK of sprezzatura would be Andrew Jackson. He is actually one of my favorite presidents in this regard, because his actions stir in me a sense of laughter.
Jackson has been in seven duels in his life, or one hundred, depending on whom you ask. His two biggest regrets in life include not killing two people. His brash, willful disrespect of the presidents cabinet and quickness to anger, demonstrate his need for spezzatura.
I must add that, this lack of sprezzatura, makes him a very interesting read however.
George Washington embodies these characteristics, he even wrote a set of rules to this effect, and without it would not have won the respect of his peers, and eventually the nation, at a fragile time when a true gentleman or “aristocrat” was needed to lead a new nation in its birth and infancy.
Alan Watts best demonstrates a mastery of sprezzatura.
The similarities between sprezzatura and taoism, as defined by the Tao Te Ching, are outstanding. While sprezzatura calls for a “graceful restraint,” taoism supports wu wei, which means “action without action.” The Tao Te Ching calls for restraint before all action, doing without doing, and slower living so as to make the moral and best decisions. As the parallels between taoism and sprezzatura are immaculate, I find it most appropriate to nominate a modern adherent of taoism. Alan Watts wins my nominations as his constant lecturing of the tao and wu wei, in ethics, metaphysics, and even aesthetics, perfectly overlaps with the concept of sprezzatura.
From the Jewish tradition, my impression is that the Vilna Gaon embodied the qualities of gracefulness, wisdom, and deep self-control that are implied here.
Tim Robbins’ character in The Shawshank Redemption is a great modern example of sprezzatura. Jailed for a crime he didn’t commit, Andy Dupresne very slowly and deliberately works his way out of prison. He never reveals his ultimate plan, never blabbers about it. But all the time he meticulously works away at gaining others’ confidence and eventually brings justice about. I’m sure he could have jumped a guard, grabbed a gun, and shot his way out, but that would have had a higher chance of failure towards his ultimate goal. Sprezzatura does not jump the gun on crying foul. Sprezzatura can patiently wait for justice while still serving others (such as maintaining their finances or building a library).
I gotta go with the amazing Lord Vetinari from the Discworld books as a spectacular example of sprezzatura. He’s very quiet and dignified, and generally nobody really can tell what he’s up to until after he’s accomplished whatever it is he set out to do. More on him here at my fansite.
Does it have to be a man? Because for an embarrassing lack, I would choose Sarah Palin. Especially her speech when stepping down from being governor.
C.S. Lewis absolutely exemplifies a tremendous hold on the art of sprezzatura. A true gentleman of prose, Lewis highlighted many aspects of sprezzatura in his apologetic works. If the master of sprezzatura embodies the roles of warrior, lover and monk, a few of his brilliant quotes indicate Lewis’s practiced hand at the art.
He confirms the necessity of fighting for what you believe in with the quote, “We have discovered that the scheme of ‘outlawing war’ has made war more like an outlaw without making it less frequent and that to banish the knight does not alleviate the suffering of the peasant.”
Lewis speaks of love in his book The Problem of Pain, stating, “Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.”
Lastly, Lewis never ceased his search for truth. It was his search for truth that caused his conversion from atheism to Christianity. The wisdom he reaped from that experience has lead to this quote from Mere Christianity, “If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair.”
So we can see how Lewis embraced sprezzatura and how his writings have been so cultivated by it. He was a true gentleman and understood chivalry’s place in an evolving society.
I would have to say my grandpa. He was a man of few words but always a gentleman. I learned so much just by watching him.
Percy Blakeney, the Scarlet Pimpernel. In public he downplayed his intelligence, cunning and courage so that under the cover of darkness he could risk his life to save french aristocrats unjustly assigned to a date with Madame Guillotine…
Obviously Cary Grant!
I instantly thought of Atticus Finch while reading this. A dignified, reserved lawyer, but one who loved to be with his kids and have jam sessions on the Jew’s harp. He didn’t need anyone to understand or approve of the actions he took, both as a lawyer and a father. As such, he had the respect of both his friends and his enemies. He is a role model for all times.
As far as those who have a blatant disregard for sprezzatura, I would say nearly any politician. Rather than a restrained silence until events unfold, they make promises to everyone they meet. Whether those promises will be remembered is anyone’s guess.
Claus Schenk Graf von Stauffenburg was an excellent example of sprezzatura. Extremely accomplished and well-liked as a staff officer in the Reichswehr and
Wehrmacht due to his ease with words and approachable nature, he was also one of the most important soldiers in the plot to remove Hitler from power. Severely wounded in Africa in 1943, he recovered from losing an eye, all the fingers on his right hand and all but three on his left to become the driving organizational force behind operation Valkyrie in addition to his extensive duties as a staff officer. He underwent this dangerous endeavor because of a deep feeling of responsibilty for his country and its people. He said to a friend, “I could never look the wives and children of the fallen in the eye if I did not do something to stop this senseless slaughter.”
I am going to go with Jubal Harshaw, from Heinlein’s “Stranger in a Strange Land”. Jubal is the model man in the novel, described as “…Jubal E. Harshaw, LL.B., M.D., Sc.D., bon vivant, gourmet, sybarite, popular author extraordinary, neo-pessimist philosopher, devout agnostic, professional clown, amateur subversive, and parasite by choice.”
Great book, btw.
Maximus Decimus Meridius from the movie Gladiator. He rolled with lifes punches and always maintained his honor and respect with a cool head. His words were few, but choice and his friends found shelter in his presence.
That Brad Miner book sounds like an interesting read…
my father, Robert.
Henry Seishiro Okazaki: Embodied the Warrior, Lover, and Monk aspects.
Seishiro’s zeal for life was found in everything he did. He studied and mastered many forms and developed his own system of fighting: Danzan Ryu. Quick to defend and protect others [on a personal and larger scale], he ran from his Honolulu home on Dec. 7 carrying his sword [thinking at first it would include a beach landing] and yelling for them not to attack and go home when he heard the Japanese planes thundering overhead. This act and many others previous to this event and after, won him the title “The Professor” as a term of endearment by those who respected him and knew of his selfless giving to the community.
http://danzan.com/
Norman Maclean who wrote the memoir of brotherhood “A River Runs Through It” strikes me as a man who held his own in any situation, and did so with restraint and aplomb, a regard for those weaker than himself, and a high standard of conduct to which he held himself.
The fist person to pop into my mind was Bob Hope. Although he was a public figure he was able to keep his public and private lives separate. He stood up for what he believed in and supported the men and women of this country that put their lives on the line every day, whether he supported what we were fighting for or not.
The fictional movie character of Lieutenant Frank Bullitt (played by Steve McQueen) is my vote for a good example of a man who mastered the art of Sprezzatura.
David Robinson. He was a competitor and winner, but always in control of his words and his demeanor. He knew that his skills at basketball did not define him as a man, but instead kept the game in perspective.
Joe DiMaggio is a model example of sprezzatura. Not only was he very quiet and tacit, but he also was modest about his ballplaying abilities. He honed said abilities from very early on in life, and was dedicated entirely to baseball throughout his whole career. He was able to be friends with nearly anyone, and draw attention to them while taking it off of himself. He was a complete gentleman towards Marilyn Monroe and treated her like the lady he saw her as. Even after her death, he carefully guarded her memory from newshounds who wanted to write shocking tabloid stories about her. He was a master of sprezzatura in the ways described here.
Neil Armstrong! Arguably the most recognized name in the world, yet he has stayed out of the limelight (and off the talk shows). He is the consummate professional – a fantastic piece of flying to land on the Moon, yet has consistently played down his role, and emphasized the team effort that Apollo was. He has never tried to trade on his publicity.
I’m up for mentioning James Bond as one who LACKED sprezzatura. Although most would consider James Bond as a cool guy and urbane, I believed he lacked the self-control that would keep him out of the many difficult situations he found himself in. More specifically, the situations he’s found himself in after sleeping with the enemy. Literally.
I second Jacob M., for lack of a real-life example, in mentioning Sherlock Holmes.
Henry Clay of Kentucky… held off the bloody Civil War in the US for a decade by his crafting of compromises that kept peace.
I’m going with Bond…..James Bond….
Horatio Hornblower, the fictional character.
Hunter S. Thompson; which side he was on was debatable.
In the realm of fictional characters – I’d have to nominate The Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Yes, my tongue is firmly in my cheek.
Actually I will say that Thomas Crowne, as played by Pierce Brosnan had a certain grasp of the core of sprezzatura – that being “the stronger and wiser he is, the gentler his manner and the more circumspect his speech; the more, in other words, his true self is hidden.” One only needs to watch the scene early in the film when he sells one of his assets to a rival and the resulting, incredibly amusing, tete-a-tete that follows.
It sounds absurd due to how truly western the concept of sprezzatura was, but the Buddha Gotama embodied the concept incredibly well. When pressed to describe nirvana to his disciples he simply waved his hand and said “it is not for you to know” – when preaching, he spoke in images and symbols, using metaphors to communicate his point. He spoke not of his own life, but how others may live theirs. Furthermore, he walked the “middle path” described in the article above, treading a careful line between asceticism and materialism.
I’d say that the anti-sprezzatura spokesman would have to be George Bush…now watch this shot…
The most anti-sprezzatura person I can think of is Bill o’Reilly. They man shoots off at the mouth on whatever the topic of the day is, he shows absolutely no respect for anyone of differing opinions, and, as the great clips of him blowing up on YouTube show, he’s an overall jerk.
Pope Benedict XVI handles himself with such dignity, humility, and grace that I see him as an ideal exams of sprezzatura. He responds to the most boorish behavior with such considered appropriateness, I am proud to be one of his biggest fans.
The detective character Christoper Foley on BBC’s television series, Foley’s War.
My vote would have to go to Denys Finch-Hatton, Karen Blixen’s lover from “Out of Africa”. He always carried himself in a smooth, polished, non-chalant, effortess manner but possessed the mysterious air of something so much deeper than was ever revealed.
Teddy Roosevelt – Speak softly and carry a big stick!
As a past student leader at Texas A&M, I had the opportunity to meet and discussion various issues from time to time with Dr. Robert Gates, now Secretary of Defense Gates. I was always impressed at his ability to pause and calculate every response he made. The tact in his answers to questions, even loaded ones, was incredible and not once have I known the man to have to retract a statement he made prematurely. I consider this a great asset to his ability as a leader and gentleman.
Two characters from fiction come to mind:
Peter Wiggin from Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game and sequels. From the view of Ender of Valentine, Peter was a maniacal big brother, but if you consider what he does through the persona of Locke, until eventually becoming elected Hegemon, his actions very much demonstrate this admirable principle.
Eliza from Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle. Though a woman, her effortless manipulations among the French (and other) aristocracy allowed her to pursue her own goals throughout her life.
“A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.” – George Bernard Shaw.
Plus, he had a fantastic beard.
George Washington was sprezzatura.
My vote is for two former politicians that now broker peace around the world former President Jimmy Carter and George Mitchell. I think both have the “ability to pause before acting and then to act sensibly is manifest prudence, which is the first among the cardinal virtues.”
The character of Joe Roberts, played by Sean Connery in Sidney Lumet’s “The Hill” definitely has it. If you haven’t seen this movie, you should do so immediately. A great man movie
My cousin Ted, I think, exhibits sprezzatura. Generally quiet yet crazy, the manner in which Ted does what he does is left unexplained to the public, and even to most of family. I am greatly honoured whenever I get to sit and talk with him, because though people know he is intelligent, he is so much more thoughtful and wise than we give him credit for. I admire Ted very much.
An interesting fictional example is Gandalf. While not an obviously manly figure, he certainly did not parade his considerable power, kept his own counsel, and didn’t get involved in the affairs of others unless bigger matters were at stake.
Pat Tillman , beacuse he was a true American who had evreything and gave it up to serve his country.
Leonardo da Vinci. A fine example of the self made man, always learning, athletic, entertaining and self-controlled.
My current boss displays sprezzatura. He is very reserved until he chooses to let you into his confidence and always acts the gentleman. His limited communication gets people to talk to him more than they would someone else I think.
My grandfather was the epitome of a gentleman. Severed in WW II, deacon in the church, family man and always had time to teach me how to fish and be a decent person. Nuff said.
Generalfeldmarschall Erwin Rommel
I would nominate Benjamin Franklin. He is perceived as a gentleman histrocially. He associated with American Patriots and European nobility. He dabbled and investigated just about everything he could in science and philosophy. Philanthropically, he even established a trust fund that continues to this day to benefit Philiadelphia.
Colin Powell
One person that comes to mind when i think about the concept of spezzatura is Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes. He is a famous british explorer, who was the first man to cross both the north and south poles by surface means. He is such a man that he was able to complete SEVEN marathons in SEVEN days on SEVEN different continents four months after having a heart attack.
This may not have been the wisest move but having watched interviews with Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes, i can attest that he is a true gentleman, who considers all the risks before he sets out to do anything. His is also a man of honor who lives by his conscience. I highly recommend looking him up.
Francisco D’Anconia, of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, perfectly illustrates the power of this control over oneself. He is a character we all hope to be comparable to in some way…
Tupac Shakur made it looks easy for the smallest man in the room to be the most feared.
I would say that Robert Heinlein, wile an excellent writer, is an example of a lack of sprezzatura. When safe in his career and unhindered by public opinion, his later books (Glory Road, Number of the Beast, Stranger in a Strange Bed, &c.) were all very vocal, and crassly and unrestrainedly vocal, in urging ungentlemanly behavior. Mike the Martian urges faithlessness in marriage and disregard of human life; Lazarus Long is the embodiment of cowardice.
For reasons listed above, C. S. Lewis and his protagonists are far better practicioners of this virtue. For true sprezzatura, I will agree with those who have said George Washington – here is a man who has won vistory against the mightiest military of the day, has won the highest office of the newly formed country, and when asked how he would be addressed, simply said “Mr. President.”
As an aside, I find it interesting that the Victorian gentleman and the Edo-period samurai both found restraint to be the most telling demonstration of proper behavior: note the similarities in the colors of fabric – subdued dark blues, browns, blacks, sometimes with subtle pin-stripes. Fascinating.
For a compleat lack of sprezzatura, my nomination is Brett Favre. From his weepy goodbye in Green Bay to his super public argument/transfer to NY. Finally, his constant jabbering about going to the Vikings, which did not happen. He talks to everyone and has the emotional fortitude of a feminine fourteen year old.
I learned Sprezzatura from Rev. Dr. Norman Nagel. He could skewer a phony at a 100 yards, but, was invariably polite and genuinely helpful to those who were seeking to learn. He could weave a tale (seemingly pointless) that would keep your attention until he revealed the crux of the matter, followed by an question that kept your mind busy for days. Conducted the Liturgy with a genuine reverence with hair mussed from putting on the surplice. From Australia through Germany and England was always dressed as a Dr. Professor ought: three piece suit or sweater vest and jacket, tweeds in the spring and summer. Only dressed down in his own back yard. Smoked thick black cigars, pipes and drank Foster’s from the can. Never shared, but spoke when he needed and was silent when he listened.
I agree with Jack, below.
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