Comments on: DIY Marriage Counseling

By: Get Your Ex Back

Get Your Ex Back — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 04:02:06 +0000

You have really hit the nail on the head! Speaking from a woman’s point of view, I know how great an impression doing those things would make for me. Especially when my husband specially shows that he admires and appreciates me. We also try to go out on weekly dates – helps a lot since we have 9 kids at home!

By: Marriage Counseling

Marriage Counseling — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:37:42 +0000

speaking of John Gottman, who I love, he is presenting at goodtherapy.org — they also have a lot of useful information on marriage counseling.
best regards to everyone,
Jim

By: Phillip

Phillip — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:25:22 +0000

Marriage counseling is generally pointless. If you aren’t willing to be what the wife wants the marriage will end.

By: Phillip

Phillip — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 21:23:20 +0000

Kamilah,

Myabe he wasn’t stonewalling, maybe you, like most women tried to chance him into waht you wanted and he refused. I don’t find it surprising you left, as most women do the leaving.

By: Alicia

Alicia — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:19:23 +0000

what can i do!

By: Marriage Therapists

Marriage Therapists — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:37:55 +0000

Great blog you have! Giving every couples a chance to make their relationship strong and their marriage longer. It is true that you can make yourself a marriage therapist of your own just be guided accordingly on what is stated on your blog. Good idea of having this a DIY marriage counseling.

Fhaye
http://www.therapists411.com/therapist-information/what-makes-a-good-therapist.html

By: John

John — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:35:13 +0000

I need help…

By: Being the Rock | The Art of Manliness

Being the Rock | The Art of Manliness — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:48:52 +0000

[...] with problems in the relationship. At such times it’s tempting to shut down and engage in stonewalling (not the right kind of rock to be). But an argument is the most vulnerable time in a relationship, [...]

By: kamilah

kamilah — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:39:24 +0000

My ex fiance and I broke up and had a few of these signs. Namely he sought to see me and the things I did in such a negative light there was nothing I could do. He kept his “list” of concerns to himself and in the end implied that I didn’t consider his feelings. How could I when he didn’t share them? Then he acted like a child when I could no longer take the pain of him stonewalling me (for an entire month!) and gave back his ring. I missed him greatly, it’s been almost a year now, but I know that I didn’t deserve that and that he was setting our relationship up for failure. I was wrong to just give back the ring when I so wholeheartedly believe in working through difficulties. But what was I supposed to do when he left me no alternative. To this day he thinks he did nothing wrong.

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 07:35:36 +0000

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

Susan

http://carusbcharger.com

By: Dustin

Dustin — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 19:57:53 +0000

I love this article! This is also the first time I've found your site as I was doing a search on marriage for my own new blog on that topic. It looks like you have lots of content, and I've only browsed the Relationships & Family section so far. From one manly man to another, great work! Dustin EngagedMarriage.com

By: wcrisler

wcrisler — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:33:57 +0000

Don’t miss the excellent information on saving marriages — even the ones that appear irrevocably lost — at marriagebuilders.com (I think this is the best of all of them) and divorcebusting.com, as well as the book, Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. Ask me how I know!

By: Becky

Becky — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 05:52:16 +0000

Wow great information. When my husband and I started having difficulty getting along, I purchased a book titled, "Love and Pornography," by author couple, Victoria Prater and Garry Prater. The book is centered around helping couples who have issues with pornography and sex addiction, however it also teaches couples how to communicate better using love and compassion. At first I was a little skeptical about buying it, however my sister assured me that it would make a world of difference in my relationship with my husband- It really did make a difference in my marriage.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:56:25 +0000

I’ve heard all of this advice before in some form or another, and I agree 100%.

My wife comes from a divorced family. My impression is that her father (not a bad man, just a bad husband) didn’t really care for the married life too much, preferring to do things his way and drag his family along for the ride. Her mother eventually divorced him after 12 or so years, and she’s been living the boyfriend-a-month life ever since (roughly 16 years), racking up 2 more divorces in the meantime. He has never remarried, although he’s finally taken up a girlfriend after about 15 years.

My own parents married young (she right out high school, he right out of the Air Force), and are still together, 31 years and counting.

Before I proposed to my wife, we had already taken all of this into account and come to the conclusion that a marriage simply CAN NOT WORK if it’s based on the assumption that divorce is an available option down the road. We have committed to each other that regardless of how bad it may get, divorce will never be an option for either of us.

I believe this makes for a more open, honest relationship, as neither of us needs to live in the constant fear that a wrong step will lead to divorce. It’s easier to weather the hard times because we KNOW that our marriage will come out the other side intact.

The flip side of that reassurance is the knowledge that THIS is the person you’ll be spending the rest of your life with, for better or for worse. This encourages investment (emotional, spiritual, monetary, etc) in that other person, because you know that you’ll be around to enjoy the dividends. You’re more likely to ward off the “Four Horseman,” not out of fear of divorce, but out of fear of losing the quality of your marriage. When divorce is on the table, people are less likely to invest in their mate, knowing that their investment could be wiped away in a single emotional reaction.

By: married man

married man — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:59:54 +0000

My wife and I went to a seminar led by Joe Beam and he also mentioned the 4 Horsemen. He had lots of other materials and information, but the best thing was what he had us to do change our habits…because information alone doesn’t do much at all. More information is at http://www.joebeam.com