Comments on: 6 Lessons I Learned About Being a Man from Growing Up Fatherless http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/ Men's Interests and Lifestyle Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:23:22 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Lessons learned from a Fatherless home? #1 « MentorKids KY http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-2/#comment-60751 Lessons learned from a Fatherless home? #1 « MentorKids KY Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:41:06 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-60751 [...] original post Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Fatherless Homes At RiskMidlife and Beyond: Bringing Lincoln’s Lessons Home [...] [...] original post Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)Fatherless Homes At RiskMidlife and Beyond: Bringing Lincoln’s Lessons Home [...]

]]> By: Andrew Galasetti http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-2/#comment-58844 Andrew Galasetti Tue, 10 Nov 2009 02:46:36 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-58844 You're very welcome Mike! Glad I could help. -Andrew You’re very welcome Mike! Glad I could help.

-Andrew

]]> By: transferml http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-2/#comment-57903 transferml Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:49:34 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-57903 My father passed away when i was 17. He was a great man. Loving, Funny, and always a part of my life and my 8 siblings. (i am the youngest). When he left us, i had a huge void in my life and to this day (almost 10 years to the day) I have found very little to fill it...This blog, this website... I imagine to myself are things my father would have said to me if he were still around. Articles like this are priceless. Thank you. Really. - Mike My father passed away when i was 17. He was a great man. Loving, Funny, and always a part of my life and my 8 siblings. (i am the youngest). When he left us, i had a huge void in my life and to this day (almost 10 years to the day) I have found very little to fill it…This blog, this website… I imagine to myself are things my father would have said to me if he were still around. Articles like this are priceless.

Thank you. Really.

- Mike

]]> By: Nubclub http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-54361 Nubclub Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:19:32 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-54361 I won't go into the gory details, but my father was a genuine pr!ck. Nowadays when I see a dad bein' a dad, it truly warms my heart. I won’t go into the gory details, but my father was a genuine pr!ck. Nowadays when I see a dad bein’ a dad, it truly warms my heart.

]]> By: Jake http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-53125 Jake Sat, 10 Oct 2009 23:24:28 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-53125 My father never wanted kids, and acted like it. Even before my parents divorced, I only saw him for a grand total of a few hours a week. I can't recall any good "life lessons" he taught me, or any time when he did anything dad-like. Everything I know about manhood has been self-taught, and I'm really glad to see so many other people have had the same experience one way or another (well, maybe not "glad," but encouraged). Mark: Sorry, man. I gotta disagree with you here. Clinging to resentment is definately bad, but swinging into the opposite extreme of total forgiveness is just silly. I don't hate my dad or dwell on how he hurt me, but I don't trust him at all and I have zero desire to see him. My father never wanted kids, and acted like it. Even before my parents divorced, I only saw him for a grand total of a few hours a week. I can’t recall any good “life lessons” he taught me, or any time when he did anything dad-like. Everything I know about manhood has been self-taught, and I’m really glad to see so many other people have had the same experience one way or another (well, maybe not “glad,” but encouraged).

Mark: Sorry, man. I gotta disagree with you here. Clinging to resentment is definately bad, but swinging into the opposite extreme of total forgiveness is just silly. I don’t hate my dad or dwell on how he hurt me, but I don’t trust him at all and I have zero desire to see him.

]]> By: Mark Steven Czikalla http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-48993 Mark Steven Czikalla Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:26:29 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-48993 Well, sounds like we are on a very sensitive subject. As I read the comments there seems to be a common thread, many of us have not let go of the resentment, or have forgave their dad. Whether he is living or dead. This can be a real burden that will last the rest of your life. I would encourage all young and old men alike let that deep burden go. If you can, seek out your dad and start the process of forgiveness and healing, this will lift your spirit and set you on a path of freedom that is immeasurable. It can be hard to do. How do I start? What will I say? Believe me, there will be a flood of emotions that will paralyze you. First, you must seek out your heavenly father. if you do not know who he is, his name is Jesus Christ. You can find him in the word of God. ( the Bible ). He is the ultimate role model for us men & women to follow, and seek guidance. This process may take months, or years, it is always a work in progress. Second, learn to be mentored, find a silver haired gentleman in your church, or at your place of employment. This also can be hard. But, you can do it. Great men of ancient always had a mentor to seek out guidance and wisdom. Joshua had a Moses, David, the King of Isreal had a Samuel. The 12 disciples had Jesus. Timothy had a Paul. These men were the great leaders and had a warrior spirit. I challenge you to find these men, and when you do, sit at their feet, ask, and listen. And when you do that, your life will be changed for greatness.You will become the mentor and leader of your family, your place of business, the community you live in. People around you will seek out because you have something they want. Prayerfully, Mark Steven Czikalla Well, sounds like we are on a very sensitive subject. As I read the comments there seems to be a common thread, many of us have not let go of the resentment, or have forgave their dad. Whether he is living or dead. This can be a real burden that will last the rest of your life. I would encourage all young and old men alike let that deep burden go. If you can, seek out your dad and start the process of forgiveness and healing, this will lift your spirit and set you on a path of freedom that is immeasurable. It can be hard to do. How do I start? What will I say? Believe me, there will be a flood of emotions that will paralyze you. First, you must seek out your heavenly father. if you do not know who he is, his name is Jesus Christ. You can find him in the word of God. ( the Bible ). He is the ultimate role model for us men & women to follow, and seek guidance. This process may take months, or years, it is always a work in progress. Second, learn to be mentored, find a silver haired gentleman in your church, or at your place of employment. This also can be hard. But, you can do it. Great men of ancient always had a mentor to seek out guidance and wisdom. Joshua had a Moses, David, the King of Isreal had a Samuel. The 12 disciples had Jesus. Timothy had a Paul. These men were the great leaders and had a warrior spirit. I challenge you to find these men, and when you do, sit at their feet, ask, and listen. And when you do that, your life will be changed for greatness.You will become the mentor and leader of your family, your place of business, the community you live in. People around you will seek out because you have something they want. Prayerfully, Mark Steven Czikalla

]]> By: Andrew Galasetti http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-47150 Andrew Galasetti Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:40:38 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-47150 You're very welcome "Fatherless woman"! I'm glad that this article resonated so much with you. Most of the lessons transcend gender. -Andrew You’re very welcome “Fatherless woman”! I’m glad that this article resonated so much with you. Most of the lessons transcend gender.

-Andrew

]]> By: Fatherless woman http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-44753 Fatherless woman Sun, 30 Aug 2009 09:08:12 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-44753 There's also research showing that women tend to seek out mates that are similar to their dads. Since I didn't grow up with a good example, learning about what makes a good man ala this website and others is very helpful. Fathers, your daughters need you as much as your sons! There’s also research showing that women tend to seek out mates that are similar to their dads. Since I didn’t grow up with a good example, learning about what makes a good man ala this website and others is very helpful. Fathers, your daughters need you as much as your sons!

]]> By: Fatherless woman http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-44752 Fatherless woman Sun, 30 Aug 2009 09:01:51 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-44752 Thanks for writing this. I am a woman whose biological parents separated when she was 3 and whose mother remarried a man when I was 13 who didn't really take part in my life growing up. Luckily I had a very strong mother and a supportive older brother. Like you, I did not become the female equivalent of the fatherless "statistic" - I did not drink, smoke, do drugs, get pregnant as a teenager, or have attention-seeking destructive relationships with men. Instead, I became a well-educated independent professional. Your point #2 really resonated with me - I learned to be self-sufficient at a young age. #4 is especially poignant because I get asked all the time as a physician whether I am following my dad's footsteps. (There are many women MDs whose fathers are MDs.) Thanks for writing this. I am a woman whose biological parents separated when she was 3 and whose mother remarried a man when I was 13 who didn’t really take part in my life growing up. Luckily I had a very strong mother and a supportive older brother. Like you, I did not become the female equivalent of the fatherless “statistic” – I did not drink, smoke, do drugs, get pregnant as a teenager, or have attention-seeking destructive relationships with men. Instead, I became a well-educated independent professional. Your point #2 really resonated with me – I learned to be self-sufficient at a young age. #4 is especially poignant because I get asked all the time as a physician whether I am following my dad’s footsteps. (There are many women MDs whose fathers are MDs.)

]]> By: Andrew Galasetti http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-41679 Andrew Galasetti Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:27:23 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-41679 My pleasure "Single Mom"! I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's very difficult for a boy to not have his father around but it does not mean he will grow up to be unsuccessful. -Andrew My pleasure “Single Mom”! I’m glad you enjoyed it.

It’s very difficult for a boy to not have his father around but it does not mean he will grow up to be unsuccessful.

-Andrew

]]> By: Single Mom http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-41505 Single Mom Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:23:06 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-41505 Thank you for your inspiring tips. I am a single mother of two boys, one of the fathers is not around for my 3 year old son. Even at this young age, I notice the impact on my son of not having his father around. Even though my boyfriend of almost one year has tried very hard to step up and be that father figure, it is still a challenge for us because of his behavior. Thank you for giving me hope that my son can still grow up to be a motivated and successful man despite the circumstances. Thank you for your inspiring tips. I am a single mother of two boys, one of the fathers is not around for my 3 year old son. Even at this young age, I notice the impact on my son of not having his father around. Even though my boyfriend of almost one year has tried very hard to step up and be that father figure, it is still a challenge for us because of his behavior. Thank you for giving me hope that my son can still grow up to be a motivated and successful man despite the circumstances.

]]> By: Andrew Galasetti http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-39197 Andrew Galasetti Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:55:58 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-39197 Hey Jared, Our stories are very similar! I too grew up in a female dominated house and I have to say that confidence was (and sometimes still is) a very large obstacle. But it's great that we're both working on it and want to be better men than our fathers were. Thanks for reading and for the compliments! -Andrew Hey Jared,

Our stories are very similar! I too grew up in a female dominated house and I have to say that confidence was (and sometimes still is) a very large obstacle. But it’s great that we’re both working on it and want to be better men than our fathers were.

Thanks for reading and for the compliments!

-Andrew

]]> By: Jared http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-38901 Jared Sun, 26 Jul 2009 23:21:44 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-38901 I can relate 100% as well, I too grew up without a father, he was abusive and an alcoholic so my mother left him when I was about 3 months. I have never met him, nor do I want to. What made it hard for me was the fact that I grew up in a female dominated family, with absolutely no male influence at all. My mother never really took much time to help give me the extra attention I needed, so I figured out everything on how to conduct myself as a male on my own. It took me longer than normal males obviously, but I would say confidence was probably my biggest challenge. I have made leaps and bounds in that area now, but I would say I'm not where I want to be as of yet. Everything your article states is 100% correct, and definitely made me stop and think about how similar I think, in my situation. I would say us fatherless males set higher standards for ourselves because we work hard so that we won't be compared to our fathers failures..this makes us better men. Good work with the article, it was a pleasure to read I can relate 100% as well, I too grew up without a father, he was abusive and an alcoholic so my mother left him when I was about 3 months. I have never met him, nor do I want to. What made it hard for me was the fact that I grew up in a female dominated family, with absolutely no male influence at all. My mother never really took much time to help give me the extra attention I needed, so I figured out everything on how to conduct myself as a male on my own. It took me longer than normal males obviously, but I would say confidence was probably my biggest challenge. I have made leaps and bounds in that area now, but I would say I’m not where I want to be as of yet.
Everything your article states is 100% correct, and definitely made me stop and think about how similar I think, in my situation. I would say us fatherless males set higher standards for ourselves because we work hard so that we won’t be compared to our fathers failures..this makes us better men. Good work with the article, it was a pleasure to read

]]> By: Andrew Galasetti http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-35287 Andrew Galasetti Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:35:08 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-35287 Hi Deb – First off, let me say thank you for being a single mother. It’s a tough job and I give single mothers so much credit for all that you do. Thank you some much for the compliments! I’m honored that you found the article beautiful. You’re very right that a lot of what is wrong with American families is related to absent fathers. @ “GLKJR” – Glad you enjoyed the article. It’s great that you used an adversity as an opportunity to turn things around. -Andrew Hi Deb – First off, let me say thank you for being a single mother. It’s a tough job and I give single mothers so much credit for all that you do. Thank you some much for the compliments! I’m honored that you found the article beautiful. You’re very right that a lot of what is wrong with American families is related to absent fathers.

@ “GLKJR” – Glad you enjoyed the article. It’s great that you used an adversity as an opportunity to turn things around.

-Andrew

]]> By: GLKJR http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/17/6-lessons-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-growing-up-fatherless/comment-page-1/#comment-35260 GLKJR Wed, 08 Jul 2009 12:19:28 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2984#comment-35260 Great article! Feels good to know that I'm not the only one who was able to grow and develop my own morals. It definitely was a case of using the opportunity to turn around a legacy of bad behavior and ignorance stemming from that side of my family. Great article!

Feels good to know that I’m not the only one who was able to grow and develop my own morals. It definitely was a case of using the opportunity to turn around a legacy of bad behavior and ignorance stemming from that side of my family.

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