Comments on: 30 Days to a Better Man Day 17: Talk to 3 Strangers

By: Francisco

Francisco — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 01:31:06 +0000

@Shoku
Your problem is in your first sentence: you think that you can’t succeed, so you don’t. You need to change your thinking or self image or both. And chill, bro. Your brain wants to help you, so let it. Read a book called “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz.

By: Dance Like Zorba the Greek: Getting in Touch with Your Wild Man | The Art of Manliness

Wed, 14 Jul 2010 23:56:13 +0000

[...] attractive woman you’ve been saying “hi” to for the past few months on a date. Talk to a stranger. Yeah, they’re not very dangerous, but all these activities involve some risk. You could be [...]

By: Shoku

Shoku — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 17:35:13 +0000

I can’t seem to succeed with this. I lock up terribly and if I can keep myself from stuttering too heavily to be understood the long delays I need to form a coherent thought really don’t lend to positive responses.

I’m not so socially inept that I can’t talk. Even with this trouble around people I don’t know, I can prepare ahead of time and do a passable job of starting talking to someone but I still get anyone to really start talking. I’ve really only had people go as far as they could to give me one word replies to any questions I ask them.

From the look of things I’m horribly difficult to approach and doing as much myself doesn’t put people at ease. Of course, I’ve looked around quite a bit for advice on how to do this so I’ve seen over and over the generic advice like smiling and other body language and the actual advice for topics that are so unlike anything I would say that I won’t ever be able to form them on the spot (without some additional explanation of how,) but altogether it has just been a long string of years where I don’t improve and worse I can’t see why.

By: Brett

Brett — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:21:08 +0000

Thanks for sharing your insights, Eli. Your dad sounds like quite the man.

By: Eli

Eli — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 17:23:47 +0000

When I was growing up, my father used to talk to everyone. He would talk to the cashiers, the people at the Service station (gas station), the banks, my schools (principla, secretary), etc. He would not jsut say idle banter, but would strike up long conversations. Now, eh wasn’t flirting, he was discussing “things”, but I never really understood it until I got older. Now that I do the same thing, I can move to the front of lines, get things done faster, if I forget my wallet it isn’t a big deal as the “know” me, etc. It also helps to go back the same places all the time, but I’m memorable sicne I talk to people. I also get to know things and make contacts. If you are a business professional, always talk to strangers, but also keep with you some business cards (and a “contact card” on your phone/pda/whaterver so you can send it to them) on you at all times. You never know when you can hand one over and make a great deal. On that note, always prep your 30-second elevator speech so you can answer that time-old question “What do you do, buddy?”…

Great post, as always. Thanks again.