Why would I possibly want to end my life at such a young age, marriage is for men who have given up and are ready to settle.

The truth is that most marriages after some time (months-years) just become living arrangements. I have countless examples among my own internal and extended circle of acquaintances of couples who didn’t get a divorce just because it was either economically unsound (usually for the woman), because one of the two had issues (fear of loneliness, loss, whatever) or because there were young kids involved and it was too stressful for everyone.

Frankly, all the married people I know ended just like this. It doesn’t sound much different from a full-fledged divorce. And most certainly it is much more hypocritical.

I am from Europe, by the way.. so I’m not used to the usual all-American, puritanical rhetoric about marriage… or everything else, for that matters. Excuse me if some of my comments sound a bit cynical or vitriolic. It’s that this blog often sports a 50s, Frank Capra-ish attitude that most people here would find amusing.

It amazes me how often guys just take a back seat at their wedding and let the woman arrange it all. They just jump into the tux and turn up, and focus on getting drunk as soon as possible. It’s quite unmanly and disrespectful of the institution and your wife-to-be. And it’s a bad way to start.

Recently, I posted about how one shop in Glasgow closed down on the advice of police after receiving death threats from brides who couldn’t get their dresses on time.

Guys, if your fiancee is getting that anxious about it, you maybe need to move in and take a little ownership (and therefore responsibility) for the day. It’s OK to let her have her way on things that aren’t important to you, but show that you’re invested in it because she is, and it spreads the burden immensely. Women can get carried away with how important certain aspects are, and you need to be an anchor, or reality check every so often. Remember that your bride will be looking for confirmation that she’s picked a winner, so try to court her a little, and calm her fears. Don’t wander off, or go stand with your buddies all night either. Definitely don’t flirt with the bridesmaids. Your place is by her side: that’s the statement of your wedding that you want to reinforce.

Groom Groove has some really bad advice about formal wear; any business that profits from selling or renting formal wear has even worse information. If you don’t want to look at your wedding pictures ten years after The Big Day and be embarrassed by your clownish attire, hie thee on over to The Black Tie Guide. Read it, follow the guidelines, and look like a million bucks!

1. Marriage contract
2. Divorce papers.

There’s more than a 50% chances that they will come in handy within a couple of years.

If I may pick a nit, I wish more attention was paid to the fact that a wedding does not have to cost the earth or require going into debt; your wedding is just one day vs. – hopefully – a lifetime of marriage. Ultimately, glitz and glamour cannot substitute for nor create true commitment to your mate.

I agree that it is entirely too easy to get caught up in the details of stuff that will not matter in a month. On the day of the wedding, just be present to what is happening and let the details be. You are joining your entire life to a woman. Be present mentally as well as physically. Take time to think about your vows. Mean every word of them when you say them. Make them count. Look into her eyes when you say them. It is by those vows that you will live.

Once that is done, enjoy your new life.