Comments on: 30 Days to a Better Man Day 3: Find a Mentor http://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/ Men's Interests and Lifestyle Sat, 20 Mar 2010 06:01:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Tom Baldwinhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-96921 Tom Baldwin Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:11:52 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-96921 I mentor quite a few young men and young ladies. I just love to help people not make the same mistakes I did.LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS -NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE I mentor quite a few young men and young ladies. I just love to help people not make the same mistakes I did.

LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS –

NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE

]]> By: Win Lhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-96829 Win L Sun, 07 Mar 2010 01:31:35 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-96829 I personally find it awkward to directly ask someone to be my mentor. I prefer to admire his philosophy and his values that he holds. You can say "hey, I really agree with your thoughts on this. Can you tell me more?" This already suggests your friend that you're interested in him, and he'll be delightful to tell you.Having problems with making friends? Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It's in one of the must-read novels in this website. Read it. It's useful. I personally find it awkward to directly ask someone to be my mentor. I prefer to admire his philosophy and his values that he holds. You can say “hey, I really agree with your thoughts on this. Can you tell me more?” This already suggests your friend that you’re interested in him, and he’ll be delightful to tell you.

Having problems with making friends? Read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It’s in one of the must-read novels in this website. Read it. It’s useful.

]]> By: Frank Riderhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-67384 Frank Rider Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:00:58 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-67384 Yesterday I realized I had no shoes that I could shine, oddly enough, and I spent a bit of time deciding which shoes to get, yadayadayada. Anyway, I realized in that time that i could have been doing something to replace a shoe shine. I could have polished my mother's China cabinet full of silver, or scrubbed down the kitchen, or even given the windows a good cleaning. I ended up with the third, and i may not have had shiny shoes, but I gained some skill level in the work ethic area. Maybe the days task will only help in an inadvertent manner, but it will always will help. Thanks guys. Yesterday I realized I had no shoes that I could shine, oddly enough, and I spent a bit of time deciding which shoes to get, yadayadayada. Anyway, I realized in that time that i could have been doing something to replace a shoe shine. I could have polished my mother’s China cabinet full of silver, or scrubbed down the kitchen, or even given the windows a good cleaning. I ended up with the third, and i may not have had shiny shoes, but I gained some skill level in the work ethic area. Maybe the days task will only help in an inadvertent manner, but it will always will help. Thanks guys.

]]> By: Earlhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-61948 Earl Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:21:51 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-61948 I frequently look for mentorship that is not another person....everyone can learn a lesson from their dog about how to look their spouse (or significant other) in the eye and show them how much they love them. Okay, so dont be licking your wifes' face, but you get the point. I subscribe to a website based on the Jewish faith and I am not Jewish. I find the value from the daily reflection. The introspection it provides frequently makes me think about the choices I make and how to keep alignment with my values. As for other people, it's rare that you can have a mentor who wont eventually disappoint you. I believe most people falter. The greatest lesson that you can learn is to support your mentor if they do stray or know when to move on. I frequently look for mentorship that is not another person….everyone can learn a lesson from their dog about how to look their spouse (or significant other) in the eye and show them how much they love them. Okay, so dont be licking your wifes’ face, but you get the point. I subscribe to a website based on the Jewish faith and I am not Jewish. I find the value from the daily reflection. The introspection it provides frequently makes me think about the choices I make and how to keep alignment with my values. As for other people, it’s rare that you can have a mentor who wont eventually disappoint you. I believe most people falter. The greatest lesson that you can learn is to support your mentor if they do stray or know when to move on.

]]> By: Earlhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-61947 Earl Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:16:43 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-61947 I also think that we can find plenty of other mentorships outside of people if we look hard enough. For example, when I feel like I am not giving my spouse the attention she needs, I think about the unconditional love from my dog! I of course make the attention to the wife appropriate, but I want to give her time that is hers and make her feel like she is the sole focus of my love and attention. I subscribe to a website based on the Jewish faith. I am not Jewish. I frequently find that the daily reflection they provide helps me stay the path of being a good man. The value isnt in arguing religion, but rather an opportunity to relect on my behavior and values. I also think that we can find plenty of other mentorships outside of people if we look hard enough. For example, when I feel like I am not giving my spouse the attention she needs, I think about the unconditional love from my dog! I of course make the attention to the wife appropriate, but I want to give her time that is hers and make her feel like she is the sole focus of my love and attention. I subscribe to a website based on the Jewish faith. I am not Jewish. I frequently find that the daily reflection they provide helps me stay the path of being a good man. The value isnt in arguing religion, but rather an opportunity to relect on my behavior and values.

]]> By: Brett McKayhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-61359 Brett McKay Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:00:43 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-61359 @Jeremy-Find a mentor often takes us out of our comfort zones and we shouldn't let that stop us from finding one. But it's not a requirement of finding a mentor and if you grandfather would be a good choice then go for it. @Jeremy-

Find a mentor often takes us out of our comfort zones and we shouldn’t let that stop us from finding one. But it’s not a requirement of finding a mentor and if you grandfather would be a good choice then go for it.

]]> By: Jeremyhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-61262 Jeremy Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:25:45 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-61262 So for this particular task I'm thinking about asking my grandfather to become my mentor because he is a man with great moral character and a charismatic individual which is what i want to develop for myself. But my question is would asking my grandfather be in a sense cheating on this task since hes within my comfort zone? So for this particular task I’m thinking about asking my grandfather to become my mentor because he is a man with great moral character and a charismatic individual which is what i want to develop for myself.
But my question is would asking my grandfather be in a sense cheating on this task since hes within my comfort zone?

]]> By: Jaredhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-40309 Jared Wed, 05 Aug 2009 22:06:18 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-40309 Cool stuff. Thanks for sharing! *Jared Cool stuff. Thanks for sharing!
*Jared

]]> By: fithrihttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-34834 fithri Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:33:10 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-34834 This is a splendid way to learn. This is a splendid way to learn.

]]> By: Michael Smalleyhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-31318 Michael Smalley Wed, 03 Jun 2009 21:01:34 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-31318 I love this advice! Too many people fail to recognize how important mentors are. Here's my reality, I know there are people smarter and better than me. I want to meet with them and gain their wisdom. I've had mentors in my life since I was about 15 or so. They've been an incredible inspiration to me. Thanks for including this in your 30 day journey. I love this advice! Too many people fail to recognize how important mentors are. Here’s my reality, I know there are people smarter and better than me. I want to meet with them and gain their wisdom. I’ve had mentors in my life since I was about 15 or so. They’ve been an incredible inspiration to me. Thanks for including this in your 30 day journey.

]]> By: Markhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-31291 Mark Wed, 03 Jun 2009 19:56:39 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-31291 Haha, well that's lovely. Not only do I not have any strong male role models in my life for mentoring purposes, I get marked down for saying so ;-)@KAY I think for the purposes of this specific series, the goal is to find someone of the same sex whom you wish to learn from. I couldn't learn how to be a better man, by example, from a woman - which it seems the point is. Not that a woman couldn't and wouldn't have great ideas, but from what I gather here... a big factor is finding someone you can emulate, in certain ways.However, broaden the spectrum away from simply this series' endeavor, and I wholeheartedly recommend finding a mentor in whoever you can. I have had some lackluster male models in my life, and from that I have learned how NOT to be.. and it has earnestly made me a better man. I am now able to have great relationships with male friends, because I can recognize what character traits I value and appreciate. I have, though, always found great platonic relationships with women.. that's just how I am. I recently took a screenwriting class with a female teacher, and we connected very well. She and I shared many similarities, and if I were interested in doing so, I would have no qualms with pursuing her for a mentorship. I wouldn't necessarily ask her to be my mentor in pursuit of my "30 Days to a Better Man" so the answer to your question, in my mind, is both a yes and no :) Haha, well that’s lovely. Not only do I not have any strong male role models in my life for mentoring purposes, I get marked down for saying so ;-)

@KAY
I think for the purposes of this specific series, the goal is to find someone of the same sex whom you wish to learn from. I couldn’t learn how to be a better man, by example, from a woman – which it seems the point is. Not that a woman couldn’t and wouldn’t have great ideas, but from what I gather here… a big factor is finding someone you can emulate, in certain ways.

However, broaden the spectrum away from simply this series’ endeavor, and I wholeheartedly recommend finding a mentor in whoever you can. I have had some lackluster male models in my life, and from that I have learned how NOT to be.. and it has earnestly made me a better man. I am now able to have great relationships with male friends, because I can recognize what character traits I value and appreciate. I have, though, always found great platonic relationships with women.. that’s just how I am. I recently took a screenwriting class with a female teacher, and we connected very well. She and I shared many similarities, and if I were interested in doing so, I would have no qualms with pursuing her for a mentorship. I wouldn’t necessarily ask her to be my mentor in pursuit of my “30 Days to a Better Man” so the answer to your question, in my mind, is both a yes and no :)

]]> By: KAYhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-31253 KAY Wed, 03 Jun 2009 17:29:32 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-31253 I'm a female fan of this site and am trying to loosely follow this 30-day program. Question: what are your thoughts on a woman finding a male mentor (or vice versa)? I’m a female fan of this site and am trying to loosely follow this 30-day program. Question: what are your thoughts on a woman finding a male mentor (or vice versa)?

]]> By: Travis Khttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-31222 Travis K Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:57:13 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-31222 I've had several mentors throughout my life since I was in middle school. Some where short lived (on purpose) others have been faithful commiments to long-haul objectives. Being in a mentor relationship needs both parties to be pro-active. The best tip I have to offer is to be willing to put yourself out of the way in order to get time with your mentor. I've left my car parked and jumped in the car with mentors not knowing how I would get back to my car later. The point is that if I find the time with my mentor valuable enough I will do whatever it takes. Isn't that the heart of a Better Man - whatever it takes? I’ve had several mentors throughout my life since I was in middle school. Some where short lived (on purpose) others have been faithful commiments to long-haul objectives. Being in a mentor relationship needs both parties to be pro-active. The best tip I have to offer is to be willing to put yourself out of the way in order to get time with your mentor. I’ve left my car parked and jumped in the car with mentors not knowing how I would get back to my car later. The point is that if I find the time with my mentor valuable enough I will do whatever it takes. Isn’t that the heart of a Better Man – whatever it takes?

]]> By: Markhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-31094 Mark Wed, 03 Jun 2009 06:21:06 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-31094 Too bad I won't be able to join in on this one... I don't know anyone :) Too bad I won’t be able to join in on this one… I don’t know anyone :)

]]> By: Roberthttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/06/02/30-days-to-a-better-man-day-3-find-a-mentor/#comment-31081 Robert Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:34:46 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=3305#comment-31081 Well, I would personally be quite flattered if someone asked me to be their mentor. I think the gentleman above is confused about what a mentor is. A mentor can be a friend, but he doesn't start out as one of your friends, and then you decide one day to make him your mentor. It's a special kind of relationship-different than a regular friendship. As I think the original author implied, asking someone straight forwardly to be your mentor would be perfectly appropriate in some situations (academia, the work place) but not in others (general life improvement). Well, I would personally be quite flattered if someone asked me to be their mentor. I think the gentleman above is confused about what a mentor is. A mentor can be a friend, but he doesn’t start out as one of your friends, and then you decide one day to make him your mentor. It’s a special kind of relationship-different than a regular friendship. As I think the original author implied, asking someone straight forwardly to be your mentor would be perfectly appropriate in some situations (academia, the work place) but not in others (general life improvement).

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