Editor’s Note: On Tuesdays, we’;l be featuring an excellent article or video that was originally posted in the Art of Manliness Community by a community member. Today we’ve selected a post from Mr. Cook about how to make the perfect martini. Put on something from the Rat Pack and follow his instructions.
Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
– W.C. Fields
It’s an argument that has plagued modern man since the dawn of time. Well, since the early fifties, at least. Just how does one make the “perfect martini?” If you ask ten different martini drinkers, my bet is you’ll get ten different answers. Most will be crap. Gentle readers, I intend to put this query to bed, once and for all. The following is the only way to make the perfect martini. Read it. Memorize it. Become one with it. For this, indeed, is the ultimate guide to the good life.
First off, you’ll need a few items:
- Ice. Lot’s of it.
- Properly chilled, stemmed martini glasses (Properly chilled means your glasses should be in the freezer for a minimum of one hour prior to making the martini. To avoid confusion, or disaster, I suggest putting said glasses in the freezer and leaving them there permanently.)
- Vermouth
- A glass pitcher or metal shaker
- Garnish, be it olives, or lemon peel. These are the only things, garnish-wise, that are permitted. Sure, you can use things like cocktail onions, but then it isn’t a martini, now is it? The answer is no. It’s a Gibson.
- And last, but obviously not least, gin. Pay attention, dear readers. I said GIN. I did not mention raspberries, chocolate, or anything involving butterscotch. Those drinks may be “martini-like”, by virtue of the type glass in which they rest, but the similarity ends right there, buster. And don’t give me any of this James Bond crap about vodka. No! That is not a martini, either. Case closed.
Shocking, I know.
12 Steps to the Perfect Martini
1. First, grab the vermouth out of the fridge. It needs to be in the fridge, because it’s a perishable item. Take off the cap. Pour the vermouth into the cap. That’s all the vermouth you need.
2. Now, take the glass pitcher, or metal vessel, out of the freezer, where it, too, should remain.
3. Put the ice in the container (a healthy handful of cubes, at least seven to eight, in my opinion), and then pour in the vermouth. You want not only to coat the bottom of the shaker/pitcher, but the ice as well. Give it a swirl, and then out it goes, right down the drain. Now, it’s not necessary to shake it to death. A drop or two of vermouth is in proper proportion.
4. On to the gin, which should be kept in the freezer. Let’s be tasteful here, folks. The contemporary man has been trained by various restaurants and bars that a martini should be somewhere between the size of your noggin and a bowling ball. Nope, nope, nope. Two shots. That’s three ounces. No more. Could be a half oz. less, actually.
5. At this point, it depends what type of container is in use. If it’s a glass pitcher, you stir. If it’s a metal one, you swirl, in a semi-vigorous manner, but not violently. You want the ice friction to cause a chain reaction of cold, but you don’t want to bruise the gin. Gin needs to be gently introduced to the vermouth, and there MUST be some ice melt dilution. So, swirl, or stir, depending.
6. At this point, put your container down and your accoutrements away. Find some good music. In my opinion, all this ultra-lounge stuff is fine. Mancini, Julie London, Les Baxter, et. al. I listen to it, too. But, my first instinct is now, and will always be, to go for the Sinatra. Why mess around? After Sinatra, there’s Dean-o, then Sammy. After I’ve exhausted those, then, and only then, will I go for the lounge.
7. Okay, back to the drink. Swirl it some more.
8. Now put out something to nosh on. My preference is for good old fashioned cocktail peanuts, spanish-variety if you can find ‘em. It was always good enough for Dad, so it’s what I go with. I think it’s passed on in the genes, actually. Other options are mixed nuts, or even blue cheese on crackers. As long as it isn’t things like goldfish crackers, chex mix, yogurt-covered anything, etc., you’ll be fine.
9. Back to the drink again. Swirl some more.
10. Grab the olives out of the fridge. Take your toothpick and push out those nasty little red pimento buggers. Mount up two olives.
11. Swirl some more.
12. Strain the concoction into two martini glasses (I say two because martinis need to be drunk in the presence of beautiful women. The same logic goes for the olives. You use two, as Sinatra put it, so there’s one for you, and one for the beautiful gal that’s about to walk in the door.) In go the olives. Out go the day’s troubles.
If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.
– Dean Martin
Martini Drinking Etiquette
Martinis are serious drinks, for serious people. Case in point:
As I said before, they aren’t to be made with amaretto, or as big as a football, and they most certainly are never, never, never to be drank while wearing jeans, t-shirts, or ball caps (whether worn frontwards, sideways, or backwards. N. O. means NO!) Of course, a tux is the ultimate, but not practical for most of us. A dinner jacket is nice. Or, a “loose flowing sport shirt,” i.e. a classy, not chincy, Hawaiian shirt. Again, that’s Sinatra, this time from From Here to Eternity. But, you knew that already, right? Right!?!?
You have to remember, the martini is the King of the Cocktails. It’s from a different era. A martini is not something to be raced through, but to take your time with, in a relaxed state of mind. All that hooey-phalooey about vigorous shaking, and drinking it before there’s even a thought of ice dilution is for frat boys. Guys that drink their “martinis” with chocolate in ‘em. Or vodka. Just look at movies like The Tender Trap. Now, while I don’t advocate using equal parts vermouth to gin, nor making them in fishbowls, as was done in said film, the point is, it’s a casual thing. Back in my Dad’s day, martinis were made in large glass pitchers, with ice, and left to sit out. Kinda like in The Seven Year Itch. I do, However, recommend taking the cubes out before drinking. Marilyn didn’t seem to mind, I must say.
Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman … or a bad woman.
–George Burns
Written by: Mr. Cook
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I agree completely with the author’s assertion that vodka does not make a martini. Vodka makes a Vodka Martini which looks like a martini but in fact is not one.
My only quibble is that he left out the world’s greatest authority on cocktails when he discussed stirring and/or shaking. William Powell as Nic Charles in The Thin Man says:
“The important thing is the rhythm. Always have rhythm in your shaking. Now a Manhattan you shake to fox-trot time, a Bronx to two-step time, a dry martini you always shake to waltz time. “
You just inspired me, I went into town brought some glasses, alcohol, ice and olives. i’ve put on some sinatra and drank martini with the wife!
@Charlie on May 5th, 2009 5:05 am
I too love the combination Pint + Shot, which is commonly referred to as a Boilermaker.
As well as a good Dirty Martini and Vodka Gibson.
JD on the rocks? These days I have been taken by Bulleit Bourbon on the rocks. High on rye, no phenol alcohol.
To each his own, eh Charlie?
I agree with Brad. Tis was just a fun article. Lighten up people, don’t take yourselves so seriously.
The article is spectacular. I prefer my martinis with Vodka, I guess my Russian herritage forces me to take that stand. I do like my saphire as well. But as, I believe Winston Chirchill said of his martinis, just a glance at the vermouth was acceptable, in acknowlegement of the queen or something of that sort.
Also, I tend to make mine somewhat larger. Take the bottle of Kettle One, or Saphire, a large shaker, filled with ice. Turn the bottle upside down, count to 4, maybe 5 depends on how fast you count. Sake, stir, swirl, really it matters not, the booze tends to breath better when you shake, just like the head on a freashly poured glass of beer. Let sit about 30 seconds, add olives, no lemon beels, the only drink worthy of a lemon peel is a rob roy. Find a good sized martini glass and proceed at your own risk.
Good luck to all the snoobs who debate gin or vodka, just enjopy your martini in the company of good people and all is right with the world.
I like Vodka Martini’s…..
I used to keep my gin in the freezer, too, but now I appreciate that water (from the ice) is a critical part of a good martini. Gin should be stored at room temperature; put the pitcher in the freezer if you want to keep something ice-cold. Vermouth can be stored in the fridge, or sealed with one of the vaccuum-sealing devices they sell for wine.
And, of course, it has to be dry vermouth. Noilly Prat is my brand, in the newly-restored classic formulation. “Perfect” martini is in fact a misnomer, as the word perfect refers to a cocktail made with half dry and half sweet vermouth. Not that that isn’t a very intersting drink and worth trying.
The “capful to three ounces” would be fine, about 8 to 1, I guess, except for the part about pouring out the vermouth as soon as it’s coated the ice cubes. What on earth is the point of that supposed to be? You want six drops of vermouth in the drink, put six drops of vermouth in it. But I think that kind of misses the point. I have found through much experimentation that 3:1 or maybe 4:1 is ideal for me. I have never understood the way people make such a show of how little vermouth they use. Vermouth is wonderful! Have some on the rocks with a lemon twist sometime. Great before dinner.
Striing yields a drink that’s smooth, rich and oily. Shaking produces one that is crisp, light and bracing. Both wonderful, although I prefer shaking. The only way to find your favorite is to test them both.
Hi,
I enjoyed the article and wanted to add a couple of small points.
1. If you ever go to London there is only one place for a martini, Duke’s hotel where the gin is generally Beefeater 24 (but anything is available) and the olives and lemons are flown in from Puglia, Italy. See Aessandro – p.s. it’s bloody hard to find!
Ian Fleming went there all the time, so it was good enough for Bond. Sadly they will not let you have more than two. As a variation on the classic you can order a Vespa which used Lillet instead of vermouth. It’s all made before you on a silver tray on top of a specialised trolley with compartments. The olives look like small hand grenades and are served on the side and taste amazing.
2. Ice – it’s fine to keep everything appropriately clean and in the freezer, from ingredients (save the vermouth) to implements but your martini will be ruined if you have bad ice. It’s essential to make sure that the ice is recently made on the day and from good water – anything else is a schoolboy error. Also, personally, I like to keep only the martini glasses frozen as i like the gin and mixer at room temperature to ensure the ice melts a little further – but Alessandro at Duke’s makes it with very cold gin so I may be making an error at home.
3. London Gins and London Dry Gins are all very well (I do love Hendricks) but for the “Perfect Martini” Plymouth is widely recognised as the gin that commands the vermouth’s respect – the blend of Seville orange and lemon peel give clear refreshing citrus notes that are punctuated by a peppery coriander and he orris and angelica root gives a long dry finish that never becomes bitter. The juniper berries don’t clobber the drink as they do in other gins like Gordans or Bombay (which make great gin and tonics but lousy martinis) but give the over all taste a creamy floral texture that marries well with the citrus. For this reason I think it’s also infinitely better to serve the Plymouth martini with a twist of fresh organic lemon peel that has been run around the rim and to bend an extra piece of fresh lemon peel over the drink so that the oil squirts over the surface.
I can imagine that several of you may take exception to my comments regarding the gin to use and that’s totally fine. Periodically I branch out (exciting to see Tanqueray is re-launching) but Plymouth’s art deco bottle stands head and shoulders above the rest for me!
Actually, the gin should be room temperature. One wants the ice to melt slightly to take the pure-alcohol edge off the cocktail.
What a pile of tired, hackneyed shite. Written by someone that obviously knows nothing about drinks.
Strike one: “Ice. Lot’s of it.”
Strike two: “On to the gin, which should be kept in the freezer.”
Strike three: “Mount up two olives.”
1. Lose the extraneous apostrophe. 2. Realize that Gin is an aromatic, and should be kept at room temperature. 3. There should always be an odd number of olives. One’s not enough. Three is perfect.
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