Comments on: Ask Wayne: Man Hasn’t Had Passion for Anything in Years

By: mark

mark — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 22:35:02 +0000

There is a glaring problem with your analysis, Seth: antidepressants do not survive placebo controlled trials. Furthermore, the whole neurotransmitter/depression vehicle is a jalopy, a bucket of bolts, a basket case. “Blaming the Brain”, by Valenstein, is a good book to start the disabusing with.

By: Seth

Seth — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 16:53:27 +0000

Speaking as someone who’s actually taken some psychology classes: if a person is “balled up in the fetal position and incapable of functioning”, then they should have been on meds a long time ago. Socializing might help someone who’s simply stuck in a rut, but if that doesn’t help then it’s time to see a psychologist. Not doing so is how people end up with treatment-resistant depression – they wait so long to get help and in the meantime their brains get chemically “hardwired” into having these depressive and self-defeating thought pattens that are difficult to shake off.

I’m sure there are lots of people on medication who don’t need to be, but I’ve met a lot more people not on medication who probably should have been, and it’s precisely because of the dismissive attitude that so many people have toward mental illness – there’s no shame in getting a cast for a broken leg or taking insulin if you have diabetes, but if you take a pill to help with depression then people assume you’re lazy, weak, or making it up.

By: Shane

Shane — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 13:13:09 +0000

Nice advice. Just got me motivated to do another guys night out with two of my best friends from high school, good buddy from work, father in law and wife’s uncle. All men that certainly have added to my life the last few years.

By: Phililp

Phililp — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:32:57 +0000

For once I fully agree with Wayne. He needs to be part of something bigger, have a strong group of peers to be part of. Join a softball team, hit the gym, go golfing etc. I don’t think “masculine energy” is the solution for everything, but having a strong core of friends is good.

By: Daetan Bayar Huck

Daetan Bayar Huck — Sun, 10 May 2009 08:34:18 +0000

I strongly agree with Wayne’s suggestion that the man in question reconnect with his male companions. In my experience, forming close bonds with men has bettered my relationships with BOTH sexes!

Before I was in high school, I was very socially awkward around women my age and going into high school I focused very intently on my relationships with my female peers. In the end, relationships (casual and romantic) became natural and easy for me, but I neglected my relationships with men — even after becoming a fraternity man in college.

In my sophomore year, I was plagued by a depression that I thought was attributed to Seasonal Affective Disorder and I slowly withdrew from the social sphere of my life. Thankfully, I was withdrawing directly into the welcoming arms of my fraternity brother with whom I lived. Quickly (unexpectedly), I began to feel more vibrant, more aware, and more empowered.

It took me a long time before I formed relationships with men again, but when I reconnected with my biological brother and fraternity brothers I felt much more content and I felt whole again. And it wasn’t until I read an Art of Manliness article that I consciously realized that I had been missing the essential male bonding.

Try re-connecting with male relatives, forming friendships with co-workers, and pals you meet on the street. Manliness and manly activities are gathering points for males across the bounds of religion, politics, and identity!

David’s comment that the “[key] is finding a group of men who understand that manliness and tender-heartedness are not mutually exclusive – without them slipping into sissified nancyness” is spot on! Hahah, “sissified manliness!” I’m going to remember that!