Comments on: How to Weather a Break-Up Like a Man

By: Dange

Dange — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 10:53:15 +0000

This is a great website. It’s awesome to see that there’s a community of dudes out there giving each other support/advice on this issue!

I’m trying to deal with the aftermath of a 4yr relationship break-up. It is hard, but I’ve since planned a trip overseas (which will include some volunteer work), learning a language, begun playing in a band again (and it’s only been two months since the breakup!)

I agree with some of the comments before: Now is the time to focus on self-improvement. The post relationship months offer the best chance to focus solely on yourself.

By: Hannes

Hannes — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 09:02:46 +0000

@Wes

Thank you.
It feels like you wrote that comment for me.
You are my new hero!

By: BadGoat40

BadGoat40 — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 19:25:33 +0000

This article and a lot of these comments are right on point. To tack on to this, there should have been a comment about “being friends”.

Hear me now, and listen to me later… NO MAN SHOULD EVER BE FRIENDS WITH A WOMAN (or man…hey, this is 2010) THAT BROKE UP WITH THEM.

You can be civil, if there are kids involved. You can be professional, assuming you were with a co-worker. But friendship is out of the question.

Why? This is basically about the other party having it both ways. They get kindness, attention, and affection. But they won’t have to return it. This will be given to someone else. Someone…that IS NOT YOU.

Being friends after the breakup is not equitable and it will not serve you in any way. If your heart is tied up, there’s no room for someone else to enter your life romantically.

By: Wes

Wes — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:50:46 +0000

Here’s what you need to know about your ex:
1) If they left you with no explanation after a few years of dating, you will soon realize that you’re better off without her. Cowardly women who run away and pursue self interests without having the decency to close the door behind them will forever be in unstable relationships. You got lucky. Take your out. Imagine if she did this when you had kids!?!?!
2) Your mind will play tricks on you. You fought, she didn’t make you a great person, and you weren’t really as happy in the relationship as you think you were. If you’re lucky, she’ll find another dude to deal with her bs and you can walk away clean.
3) The Rebound Depression: If she’s with another guy immediately after the break up, you may start feeling like you really want her back. Don’t do that. This is your self-esteem trying to protect itself. Stop. Think about this: She is a parasite. An organism that can’t live alone and needs another for food, habitat, and support in order to survive. Do you really want to be with someone who just leeches off you and gives you nothing in return? Be happy that you’re parasite free and know that there are so many women who have whatever one redeeming quality your ex does, and many many more.
4) If you thought that you were happy with this self-interested nutcase, imagine how happy you’ll be with a woman who brings the best out of you—the woman of your dreams. She won’t pull this bs on you and will be the woman you always imagined that you’d marry.

“In fact, women are all perverse by nature. They are deeply self-centered, grasping in the extreme, devoid of all susceptibility to reason, quick to indulge in superstitious practices. They are clever talkers, but may refuse to utter a word when asked even some unobjectionable question. One might suppose this meant they were cautious, but they are equally apt to start discussing, quite unsolicited, matters better passed over in silence… How disagreeable it is to be forced to cater to their wishes in order to please them. What woman is worthy of such deference?” — Tsurezuregusa of Kenko, 1332.

By: Lenny

Lenny — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 03:35:28 +0000

Awesome write up. Today marks the 7th week since my ex-gf of three years broke up with me. It’s been an awfully tough road but I have made a lot of progress since.
Here are some pointers that helped me get through the worst of it that I’d like to add.

It’s all about recalibrating your mental, sexual, and social routine. This will mean nothing to you if you just broke up. If you read this again after a month or so, it’ll take on a whole new meaning.

1) Do not think about what she is doing. If you can conquer this step you will make so much progress. It’s not smart and unproductive to use your brainpower thinking about what she’s doing. Take her off facebook, remove mutual friends, throw out pictures, change the radio if a song is on that reminds you of her. In the beginning they all do. Just do what you have to do to cut all ties.

2) You have a mourning debt to pay and there are no shortcuts around this. Getting wasted and trying to nail chicks in the club will not heal your wounds and end up making you feel worse.

3) Stay out of your apartment during weeknights between the hours of 6pm-10pm until you’re ready to hang out there by yourself.

4) Enlightenment Phase. Break ups are a great way to realign your perceptions and go after the life you always imagined for yourself. Chances are that your peen’s agenda kept you in this relationship for much longer then you were supposed to be in it. Set a goal and be ok with not having sex for the next 4 weeks. You’re used to having at will and now that’s gone. This is your recovery period and your time to get your head right. Don’t think with your d. Look what happened to Tiger.

5) Track your progress. Four weeks ago I was listening to Bob Dylan’s version of “Yesterday” on repeat for like two hours. Now I listen to it and laugh because I can realize how much progress I’ve made since Day 1.