Comments on: Ask Wayne: Man Fears Wife Will Leave Him

By: Incredible Absorbing Man

Incredible Absorbing Man — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 02:59:16 +0000

I’ve read this article over and over and it never fails to make me realize the mistakes I am committing with my current girlfriend(just want to make a point that this advice not only apply to married couples but also for other relationships). Being the “older” one in the relationship, I am the one that is acting like a child. Girls are hard to understand and I’ve come short in understanding her, something a man should be able to do. We had the same fear and I must admit I am not that confident with myself maybe because I have not yet defined my N.U.T.s.
Thanks for this great article Wayne and Thanks AoM for bringing such wonderful insights of being a man. Your articles have made me consider certain ideas I should be considering now that I’m trying to be the man that I want.

By: Bongani

Bongani — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 13:05:34 +0000

Great response!!! you are the man!!! who taught you to be such a man?

By: Tom

Tom — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:34:33 +0000

Yeah, manning up is all well and good, but I agree with Cindy, he needs to talk to his wife. He mentioned that she has said a couple of times when she was upset that the kids were a mistake. My wife has been through some tough times when I was deployed – and I heard about it from her later – but I never heard her say THAT. Something is underneath the surface here. They need to talk, and maybe see a marriage counselor.

By: Phililp

Phililp — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 19:21:03 +0000

Wow, once again the solution appears to be, get a lot of male buddies, it will magically turn you into the man you want to be.

By: Chris

Chris — Thu, 14 May 2009 18:54:07 +0000

I agree with Beat Attitude and adamantly oppose Mitchell’s opinion, with all respect. If you are a product of a divorced relationship (be it your parents or your own) I feel for you and understand opinions like Mitchell’s. Setting up a plan B only shows a lack of faith in your spouse and your marriage.

But if you are going through troubling times in your marriage and are even considering divorce, you have already put the nail in the coffin. We’re talking about holding on to our NUTs here, and divorce should never be one of those terms.

I have many friends who married young, and because of this they act more like little boys who can shave. So what I explain to them is this (and it is right on board with Beat Attitude’s post).

You have to be three things to be a successful husband/father.

1. Loving – no matter what is said or what is done, you never let any other emotion overtake your love for your spouse/child. This is most important.

2. Selfless – you have give somethings up. When my wife and I got married, I had to make the conscious choice to give up some friendships and habits that were not beneficial to our relationship. Keep in mind that this was not encouraged by my wife, I realized there were things that bothered her and made the choice myself.

3. Leading – This were your NUTs come in. But your wife will not concede to these terms without you being both loving and selfless. No woman or child will allow themselves to be led by a jerk. If you are one of those guys who feels you need to be domineering over a spouse or child… well you need to stop. I feel that if you leave one these three points out, you have just made yourself into a little boy that can shave. Thus weakening your marriage.