Comments on: Living a Life of Integrity http://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/ Men's Interests and Lifestyle Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:39:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Robhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-73022 Rob Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:33:08 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-73022 Incidentally the article, while good, focuses too much on honesty, which is just one aspect of integrity. They're not synonyms. Incidentally the article, while good, focuses too much on honesty, which is just one aspect of integrity. They’re not synonyms.

]]> By: Robhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-73021 Rob Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:25:03 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-73021 There's no better a defense of integrity than "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. There’s no better a defense of integrity than “The Fountainhead” by Ayn Rand.

]]> By: Boris B.http://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-32339 Boris B. Fri, 12 Jun 2009 13:07:36 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-32339 "Don’t take credit for others’ success. Never take someone’s idea and pitch it as your own. And don’t jump on a wagon at the end of a successful ride that you didn’t contribute to."I'm fine with this point, but what when others are doing it with your ideas ?What when you find your wife is cheating on you ? How do you break up then ? I see revenge is not really the right path, but what do you do if others are trying or in face are humiliating you ? How do you meet humiliation ? “Don’t take credit for others’ success. Never take someone’s idea and pitch it as your own. And don’t jump on a wagon at the end of a successful ride that you didn’t contribute to.”

I’m fine with this point, but what when others are doing it with your ideas ?

What when you find your wife is cheating on you ? How do you break up then ? I see revenge is not really the right path, but what do you do if others are trying or in face are humiliating you ? How do you meet humiliation ?

]]> By: Christatoshttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-29219 Christatos Tue, 26 May 2009 01:56:59 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-29219 The way of the gentleman. Too few have walked this path in all days. People tell me today that young people are the problem, but I know a great many from my generation who would slouch their way around this path if they could. The way of proper living should be taught in school. The way of the gentleman. Too few have walked this path in all days. People tell me today that young people are the problem, but I know a great many from my generation who would slouch their way around this path if they could. The way of proper living should be taught in school.

]]> By: Ali H.http://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25154 Ali H. Sat, 11 Apr 2009 14:10:47 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25154 Values, morals, ethics....gee, what are those? Great article! My husband has found himself at the short end of the stick more than once for his refusal to compromise his integrity. But he can look back and be satisfied that his conscious is clear. Values, morals, ethics….gee, what are those? Great article! My husband has found himself at the short end of the stick more than once for his refusal to compromise his integrity. But he can look back and be satisfied that his conscious is clear.

]]> By: Timothyhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25120 Timothy Fri, 10 Apr 2009 06:19:37 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25120 As a young student and bartender the biggest compliment I have recieved is when I was accused of cheating at work. Everyone of my co-workers took my side. That is something money can't buy! Honesty is the way forward. Its certainly not easy, its far easier to hide behind a front but you cannot be more than one person, no-one can. Having integrity and being truthful to yourself and others around you may not seem glamorous but its the right thing to do.Girls love it too! As a young student and bartender the biggest compliment I have recieved is when I was accused of cheating at work. Everyone of my co-workers took my side.
That is something money can’t buy! Honesty is the way forward. Its certainly not easy, its far easier to hide behind a front but you cannot be more than one person, no-one can. Having integrity and being truthful to yourself and others around you may not seem glamorous but its the right thing to do.

Girls love it too!

]]> By: Mariohttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25111 Mario Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:43:29 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25111 Thank you, again, Brett! Your article came at the exact moment I was reflecting on my work behavior (and searching for sin in my life). What a sword through the heart! Especially the part about 40 hours work for 40 hours pay. I was doing my stuff on the clock and giving work my leftovers! Today I decided not to. Wow was my productivity increased. Thank you. Thank you, again, Brett! Your article came at the exact moment I was reflecting on my work behavior (and searching for sin in my life). What a sword through the heart! Especially the part about 40 hours work for 40 hours pay. I was doing my stuff on the clock and giving work my leftovers! Today I decided not to. Wow was my productivity increased. Thank you.

]]> By: Bretthttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25079 Brett Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:12:59 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25079 @Adam-I'm happy to hear that there are young man like yourself living with integrity and reading AoM. You sound like a guy with a good head on your shoulders.As far as your question about living with integrity without feeling like you are better than other people......what helps me is trying to sympathize with where other people are coming from. A lot of the people who don't live with integrity aren't bad people at their core, they come from homes where they weren't taught good principles by their parents and don't generally have mentors to show them the way. This is not to say that they're without fault, but a lot of people have struggles that you'll never know about when you meet them in passing. Keep leading by example and you never know who you may influence. @Adam-

I’m happy to hear that there are young man like yourself living with integrity and reading AoM. You sound like a guy with a good head on your shoulders.

As far as your question about living with integrity without feeling like you are better than other people……what helps me is trying to sympathize with where other people are coming from. A lot of the people who don’t live with integrity aren’t bad people at their core, they come from homes where they weren’t taught good principles by their parents and don’t generally have mentors to show them the way. This is not to say that they’re without fault, but a lot of people have struggles that you’ll never know about when you meet them in passing. Keep leading by example and you never know who you may influence.

]]> By: Bretthttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25077 Brett Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:04:34 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25077 @Marc-Thanks so much for your kind words and for sharing that story. I've had some bad experiences with post office employees, but it's shocking that no one else in line stepped in to help either. It's good to know there are other men at there living with integrity. Keep it up and hopefully it will rub off on others. @Marc-

Thanks so much for your kind words and for sharing that story. I’ve had some bad experiences with post office employees, but it’s shocking that no one else in line stepped in to help either. It’s good to know there are other men at there living with integrity. Keep it up and hopefully it will rub off on others.

]]> By: Bretthttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25076 Brett Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:02:09 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25076 @Frank-I disagree that the line about corporate bigwigs was a cheap shot. While there are certainly exceptions, there are dozens of corporate executives out there that directly contributed to our economic downturn, and nary a one of them has owned up to being at fault or apologized for their mismanagement of affairs. These are the men I was directing that comment to; to me they represent a blatant lack of integrity. Also, the "don't talk smack" section was under the "Friends" heading; one shouldn't talk behind a friend's back but criticism of public figures is not only okay, but can often be prompted by one's integrity.I had read that column by the AIG executive that you cited. And I thought he made a good point. But then I read Frank Rich's column on Sunday, and thought he made a better one:"The only group more out of touch remains bailed-out Wall Streeters. “The era of this high living, this is over now,” said Ben Bernanke on “60 Minutes” last month. For whom? Witness the former A.I.G. executive who recently complained on the Times Op-Ed page about being unfairly tarred for corporate outrages he didn't commit. He didn't seem to understand that his (to his mind) unfairly maligned bonus — $742,006.40 (net) — would have amounted to $0 had American taxpayers not ponied up more than $170 billion to keep A.I.G. from dying." @Frank-

I disagree that the line about corporate bigwigs was a cheap shot. While there are certainly exceptions, there are dozens of corporate executives out there that directly contributed to our economic downturn, and nary a one of them has owned up to being at fault or apologized for their mismanagement of affairs. These are the men I was directing that comment to; to me they represent a blatant lack of integrity. Also, the “don’t talk smack” section was under the “Friends” heading; one shouldn’t talk behind a friend’s back but criticism of public figures is not only okay, but can often be prompted by one’s integrity.

I had read that column by the AIG executive that you cited. And I thought he made a good point. But then I read Frank Rich’s column on Sunday, and thought he made a better one:

“The only group more out of touch remains bailed-out Wall Streeters. “The era of this high living, this is over now,” said Ben Bernanke on “60 Minutes” last month. For whom? Witness the former A.I.G. executive who recently complained on the Times Op-Ed page about being unfairly tarred for corporate outrages he didn’t commit. He didn’t seem to understand that his (to his mind) unfairly maligned bonus — $742,006.40 (net) — would have amounted to $0 had American taxpayers not ponied up more than $170 billion to keep A.I.G. from dying.”

]]> By: Marc Cobbhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25075 Marc Cobb Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:55:58 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25075 Hey Brett,Long time reader, first time commenter. I just want to say, Thank you! As Brian says above, your articles (and those of your guests) continue to get better and better and resound in my head and life long after reading them. It is so refreshing to read these articles and then the comments of the readers afterwards.In any case, very well written article. Well thought out, and I especially find value in your points about where you work. I have been in those situations where others may not even be doing completely deceitful things, but they deign to ignore this person in customer service or that person in accounting because of their accent, or their weight, etc etc. I just ignore that and say hi anyways, why wouldn't I?Another easy example: I was at the Post Office the other day, at the counter finishing up. A somewhat elderly woman walked up to the counter and asked the postal worker if they had a cart of some kind as she had a few heavy boxes to bring in from her car. There were at least 10 people in line as well as 2 workers behind the counter. The worker told her "no" and looked annoyed. Not a single other person said a word as the woman started walking out. I was shocked and hurried over to her, offering to bring her packages in. I don't say this to pat myself on the back, but to bring up how unbelievable it was to watch an entire room of people not even offer to help this woman with 2 little packages. In less than 2 minutes I was back on my way. Sad when we can't even help out our fellow neighbor like that. Hey Brett,

Long time reader, first time commenter. I just want to say, Thank you! As Brian says above, your articles (and those of your guests) continue to get better and better and resound in my head and life long after reading them. It is so refreshing to read these articles and then the comments of the readers afterwards.

In any case, very well written article. Well thought out, and I especially find value in your points about where you work. I have been in those situations where others may not even be doing completely deceitful things, but they deign to ignore this person in customer service or that person in accounting because of their accent, or their weight, etc etc. I just ignore that and say hi anyways, why wouldn’t I?

Another easy example: I was at the Post Office the other day, at the counter finishing up. A somewhat elderly woman walked up to the counter and asked the postal worker if they had a cart of some kind as she had a few heavy boxes to bring in from her car. There were at least 10 people in line as well as 2 workers behind the counter. The worker told her “no” and looked annoyed. Not a single other person said a word as the woman started walking out. I was shocked and hurried over to her, offering to bring her packages in. I don’t say this to pat myself on the back, but to bring up how unbelievable it was to watch an entire room of people not even offer to help this woman with 2 little packages. In less than 2 minutes I was back on my way. Sad when we can’t even help out our fellow neighbor like that.

]]> By: Adamhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25074 Adam Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:34:02 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25074 Living with integrity as a High School junior surrounded by people who cheat on tests and lie in relationships frequently is quite a challenge. I think I manage to do it modestly. I find however, that when attention is drawn to the fact that I often work harder and with more integrity than others I get a negative reaction from people.I feel embarrassed when this happens, but I know what I do is right and I get over it.I have an extreme challenge for me that I wanted to get some response to. When living a life of integrity and honesty, I find it very difficult not to develop a pride that is almost narcissistic. Such a pride can actually be damaging to living a life of integrity. So, I should ask the rest of you:How do you deal live a life of integrity without developing a belief that you are superior to others? Living with integrity as a High School junior surrounded by people who cheat on tests and lie in relationships frequently is quite a challenge. I think I manage to do it modestly. I find however, that when attention is drawn to the fact that I often work harder and with more integrity than others I get a negative reaction from people.I feel embarrassed when this happens, but I know what I do is right and I get over it.

I have an extreme challenge for me that I wanted to get some response to. When living a life of integrity and honesty, I find it very difficult not to develop a pride that is almost narcissistic. Such a pride can actually be damaging to living a life of integrity. So, I should ask the rest of you:

How do you deal live a life of integrity without developing a belief that you are superior to others?

]]> By: Frankhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25067 Frank Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:00:39 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25067 Overall a nice job on integrity but isn't the line about "corporate bigwigs struggle to justify their fat bonus checks" a cheap shot bordering on a violation of "Don't talk smack about other people." Can we really know how hard the average bigwig works and the sacrifices they make. Even in the recent AIG case at least one bigwig wrote to the NY Times that his unit was profitable and had nothing to do with the downfall of his company. He stayed on at $1 per year salary to help with the recovery of the company and the bonus was his only compensation. He resigned from the company and is donating the bonus to charity. That sounds like a man of integrity to me. Overall a nice job on integrity but isn’t the line about “corporate bigwigs struggle to justify their fat bonus checks” a cheap shot bordering on a violation of “Don’t talk smack about other people.” Can we really know how hard the average bigwig works and the sacrifices they make. Even in the recent AIG case at least one bigwig wrote to the NY Times that his unit was profitable and had nothing to do with the downfall of his company. He stayed on at $1 per year salary to help with the recovery of the company and the bonus was his only compensation. He resigned from the company and is donating the bonus to charity. That sounds like a man of integrity to me.

]]> By: Richard Albistegui-DuBoishttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25062 Richard Albistegui-DuBois Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:51:17 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25062 I agree, Jack. Although there can be some level of conflict between those two; if some female friend told me in confidence that she had strong feelings for me, I might feel obliged to share that with my wife. My general assumption with others is that I can assume anything I share with them will be shared with their spouses unless I specifically ask them not to do so. Likewise, I generally feel free to share things others have told me with my wife unless asked not to do so (although for something really sensitive which did not concern her, I probably wouldn't bring it up). I agree, Jack. Although there can be some level of conflict between those two; if some female friend told me in confidence that she had strong feelings for me, I might feel obliged to share that with my wife.
My general assumption with others is that I can assume anything I share with them will be shared with their spouses unless I specifically ask them not to do so. Likewise, I generally feel free to share things others have told me with my wife unless asked not to do so (although for something really sensitive which did not concern her, I probably wouldn’t bring it up).

]]> By: Jack McNielhttp://artofmanliness.com/2009/04/07/living-a-life-of-integrity/#comment-25061 Jack McNiel Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:43:00 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=2331#comment-25061 I believe what he means by being an open book is that we do not keep secrets about our SELF from our spouse. Being a vault with a friend's secrets means that we do not reveal to others, including our spouse, what our friend has confided in us- because these "secrets" do not belong to us, we are only custodians of what belongs to another. I believe what he means by being an open book is that we do not keep secrets about our SELF from our spouse. Being a vault with a friend’s secrets means that we do not reveal to others, including our spouse, what our friend has confided in us- because these “secrets” do not belong to us, we are only custodians of what belongs to another.

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