Comments on: Three Phrases Men Everywhere Stumble Over, Yet Women Long to Hear

By: gelo Giovas

gelo Giovas — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:35:24 +0000

When I was 15 or 16, for some reason I decided, after reading a book on marriage, that if I got married I would tell my wife I loved her at least once a day, come sun, rain or hail . After 25 year of marriage I have achieved about a 90% success rate. It has turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Interestingly during one our worst ‘hail’ when our marriage came within a whisker of wreckage, it was just as important for me as for her that I continued to say that even -especially- when I didn’t feel like it, It was just as much a statement tome as to her. It strengthened my resolve to live in the reality that love is primarily a choice. Some years after that period my wife told me how much she appreciated hearing it because it gave her hope and helped her in her hard work of re-connecting. Good blog and good comments.

By: Adam Richardson

Adam Richardson — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:39:21 +0000

Great article! Practice makes perfect, so let’s keep up our attentiveness to our woman not only to put wind in her sails and our relationship, but also as an example to our children that dad has the courage to be tender and accountable with mom. Another phrase that helps open up communication is “tell me more about that.”

By: Phillip

Phillip — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:28:18 +0000

Men can say this all they want, but if a woman thinks she can do better she’ll probably leave anyways

By: Christopher

Christopher — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 12:47:14 +0000

Plagiarism is copying the exact same words, not writing a story on the same topic! Nice try though!

By: Michael

Michael — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:35:52 +0000

Fraud. Plagiarism!

This article looks suspiciously close to an article posted online back in 2007.

http://rawstory.com/news/afp/Fearing_divorce_Japanese_men_learn__11072007.html

Down to the man interviewed, “Mr.Amano”

By: hablack

hablack — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:59:12 +0000

My husband is really great at all of these… And it is so important to me. Several posters have said something to the effect that saying “I love you” too often cheapens it – not to me. My husband is very selective who and when he says it to others, but to me and to our daughter he says it all the time. To me, it adds to the general mood in our relationship. If he told telemarketers that he loved them, THAT would cheapen it.

I also grew up in a very expressive family, so if he rarely said “I love you,” it would really bother me.

“Thank you” is also huge – he really seems to appreciate it every time I cook (even when it’s an easy and/or mediocre meal). That’s important to me because I don’t really like cooking, so it’s a real emotional effort for me to do. I’m also not shy about liking his appreciation. If I clean out a particularly scary room or cabinet one day, as a game I hide his alarm clock there so he has to find it before he goes to bed – and he sees the clean cabinet. (Don’t worry, I help him find it.)

By: mythago

mythago — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 22:00:39 +0000

Lee, I think the article presumes that you’re married to or partnered with a decent woman. If your GF or wife is somebody who does not treat you as a person either, why are you with her?

By: Tim

Tim — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 07:04:37 +0000

Good article. I am pretty good at saying the first two, “thank you” and “I’m sorry” (there’s always room for improvement when expressing fault and gratitude tho) but I find “I love you” a hard one to say to anyone. I’m glad I read this article, I need to make a point of saying “I love you” more often. Thanks.

By: ashley

ashley — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:50:41 +0000

Thank you for the “Thank you!” You are sooooo right on that one. The hubby and I both work full time jobs, so when he notices the extra time taken to do little things around the house, it means a lot. And yes, I thank him when he does his part. We also thank each other for working hard when either has had a particularly long day or difficult client – its a nice reminder that each effort put into the relationship is appreciated, whether in or out of the house.

The “I love you” is an interesting one. Yes, it can become meaningless if said by rote, but its never *wrong* to say it if you’re really feeling it! In fact, *anything* my man says that reveals his reaction to me makes me feel amazing, things like:
“you make me happy”
“I missed you”
“you always turn me on”

They’re all different ways of expressing love – and that we can still make your heart race a little.

By: toddes

toddes — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:51:39 +0000

I’m a little late on responding to this one. The three in the article and the one suggested in the comments are all excellent when used sincerely. The one that I would add is “I think you’re beautiful.”

Not “You’re beautiful” (my wife will argument with that one) but “I think you’re beautiful”.

By: Adam

Adam — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:57:38 +0000

I would caution others to not use ‘i love you’ as an ice/tension breaker. In fact, a well placed ‘i love you’ speaks more than a day saturated with them. One must use caution and speak without cheapening it (what ever that may mean from the couple). ‘You’re right’ is simply patronizing and paints a picture of women that I feel has rightfully been discarded. All in all, this article is rather bland and uninsightful because you cannot prescribe the use of these phrases. Rather, it is not the phrases themselves that have power (so to speak) it is the context in which they are used; above all, such ways of speaking ought to come from a posture of gratitude, loving and regret. Again, it is not the words, but the posture from which they are spoken.

By: Contest Update & Awesome Links for Marriage | A Good Husband

Contest Update & Awesome Links for Marriage | A Good Husband — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:28:18 +0000

[...] Three phrases all husbands should use more often by Art of Manliness. [...]

By: Uberhack

Uberhack — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 16:23:40 +0000

The fourth phrase, according to Mrs Uberhack, is “I’ll clean the house, honey.”

By: miss morgan potts

miss morgan potts — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 10:28:44 +0000

Great article. Men and women alike should be saying these things (including “You’re right”) more often and with more emotion. Speaking a phrase for the sake of saying it doesn’t carry much weight, but when it’s sincere it’s the most wonderful thing you can hear, really.

By: tom

tom — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 04:36:04 +0000

I wrote an article recently that saying sorry can be somewhat degrading to yourself. This of course applies to certain situations.

The example I used was simple, you go out on a date with a girl, things are going great and at the end you go in for the kiss and get rejected. And then you end up saying sorry.

But are you really sorry for trying to kiss her? NO, you are not.

It should be more of, she should be sorry now because she lost the chance to get a kiss.

So in this context, saying sorry is degrading and can bruise your self confidence.