just like to say that is one area where the more the merrier really applies. collect the status of expert on as many topics, skills, abilities, and talents as you can. being a really good guitar player, being able to hit bombs in baseball, drive a car like a european pro, and cook a steak like a master chef are all great quantifiable skills that women look for.

Thank you.

Andrew M.,

Just by being on this site and asking questions of older men, some of whom have figured it out and some who are, you are light years beyond your peers. Changing an attitude is difficult. It’s pretty impossible to not think something. Start by changing your behaviour. As has been said, start by finding good male friends ( not “guys”, men), be good at something, spend more time focused on others rather than yourself (and how people are seeing you), you’ll be fine. I wish I was wise enough to seek this kind of counsel when I was twenty!

In your comment questioning the equality and gender roles that this post promotes, was it necessary to insult women that choose to make the sacrifice needed to stay at home and raise kids? It seems like you’re the one with the narrow definition of what a women should be. Grow up, get married, have some kids. If you are fortunate, you will be blessed with the oppurtunity to be forever grateful to a woman that could accomplish anything… that chose to have your children. I don’t intend to sound overly confrontational. However, as the husband of a woman that made this sacrifice despite struggling w/ the doubt of selfworth that modern culture places on “Stay-At-Home Moms” , this really frosts my a$$.

Brass balls.

In short, I completely agree with your post.

However, with that said, this article does not exactly offer useful advice and can even be somewhat counterproductive to an insecure not-so-confident dude. What I mean is that, from experience and readings, trying to “put a show” of confidence where confidence isn’t really there is almost a worse turn off than the guy having no confidence, which is a big problem for guys trying to “develop” their confidence.

However, there are ways for a man to build and keep authentic confidence, be ambitious and passionate, be a secure risk taker, and be mentally strong, and have women see this instantly. This will get all the women a guy would want, but its so counter-intuitive and costs so little that most readers won’t do it.

I can do no better than to recommend the books Mode One, by Alan Roger Currie and the ebook Be Relentless by David X (Warning! Lots of vulgarity). David X may come off callous, crude, and boorish, but his underlying philosophy is very profound (which can and should be applied to both men and women) and far reaching (especially on pages 12-14), and its actually very simple to apply to all relationships. He has an entertaining seminar on YouTube too.
Mode One is less crude, but also has the same underlying philosophy and understanding about women and relationships with more analysis.

Take their beliefs and “instructions” consistently and getting the girl will take care of itself.

Well…its a nice post and I can tell the guys reading this…I completely endorse it …

What I think happens sometimes with these NICE GUYS is…that they hesitate so much to approach a girl….I have witnessed that…I love the guys who hesitate…it just reflects how much they value their own integrity and prestige…having said that I would still encourage you guys to make the first move somehow…you may use so many opportunities available today like Facebook, Myspace, etc or even Bluepont like I do…these things will help you to interact with the girl before you meet them and hence might help you to get rid of your shyness and in just getting her!