Comments on: Book Giveaway: The Swordless Samurai by Tim Clark

By: Mr. Tora

Mr. Tora — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:28:33 +0000

Put yourself in the opposition’s shoes. Know your opposition and pre perceive the offer, so that when a deal is offered you will be well prepared for anything. Having keen insights and quick knowledge is always a winning combination.

By: Fred Putnam

Fred Putnam — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:24:38 +0000

In their book, Metaphors We Live By, Lakoff and Johnson note that our cultural assumption (our basic metaphor) is that /argument is war/. Hence, “Who won?”, “I defended my point!”, “That was a salient argument.”, “Did you run out of ammo?”, and the like. They then ask how we would understand a culture in which people of different opinions confront each other with the assumption /’argument’ is a dance/ (I simplify). How would that change our understanding of what we were doing, how we ought to do it, and what we hoped to get out of it?

Furthermore, what if we entered an ‘argument’ with the goal of making our ‘argument partner’ look as good as possible (as dance partners should)? What would happen? Might we generate more light and less heat?

I was just wondering.

By: Phil Anderson

Phil Anderson — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:28:46 +0000

I need this book! Don’t make me stop this car! Don’t make me come down there!

By: Robert

Robert — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 20:38:22 +0000

listen first, think about what they’re saying and THEN speak….never go in like a bull…you’ll lose one way or another Iif not initially, then in the end)

By: RS

RS — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 20:54:28 +0000

Study what you are going to say beforehand, go into the discussion with a positive mindset, and reach an agreement that satisfies both parties. Sometimes in order to gain, you must lose. Simple yet effective.

By: Skitch Hodgson

Skitch Hodgson — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 02:24:03 +0000

Go into any negotiation with the knowledge that you’re going to have your point put across clearly and it WILL be heard no matter what. Sometimes if you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re probably right.

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 02:09:34 +0000

It has been said, “know yourself and your enemy, and you will win every time-know yourself and not your enemy, you may win, you may lose- know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will lose every time”
My advice is, before you enter into a negotiation situation, have your facts straight and know your possible weaknesses, so you can be prepared for whatever is thrown at you.

By: Frank Leveque

Frank Leveque — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:42:04 +0000

I read this somewhere, but I don’t use it much because i think its slightly manipulative. Car salesmen and other people in similar fields ask the potential customer a series of simple questions, like “do you want coffee”, “aint she a beauty”, etc….in order to get the customer to say yes alot.

When the customer says yes alot they are more inclined to continue saying yes and when the salesman puts his pitch out and tries to sell, is more likely to sell to that person. Its some kind of psychology thing.

-Frank

By: Bryan J

Bryan J — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 01:44:35 +0000

Do not automatically blurt out the first response to come to your mind. It will often be inflammatory. Take a moment, briefly, to organize a coherent, thoughtful response to the other person to whom you are speaking.

By: Tim M

Tim M — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 23:24:38 +0000

these tactics have worked well for me in a number of situations,

LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN and LISTEN, UNDERSTAND and ACT

STARE THEM IN THE EYES AND SAY NOTHING

and if that doesn’t work A SWIFT PUNCH TO THE THROAT or KICK IN THE SHIN have done wonders.

By: Sword of the Samurai Winners | The Art of Manliness

Sword of the Samurai Winners | The Art of Manliness — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 17:35:42 +0000

[...] how to be a gentleman in 2008. Thanks for visiting and don’t forget to man up!Last week, we had a giveaway for Tim Clark’s Sword of the Samurai. We asked readers to leave their best piece of negotiation advice in the [...]

By: Laura

Laura — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:17:53 +0000

Four Points of Wisdom for life that definitely apply to negotiations and general interactions. From Don Miguel Ruiz’s book the Four Agreements.
1) Be Impeccable With Your Word
2) Don’t Take Anything Personally
3)Don’t Make Assumptions
4)Always Do Your Best

By: Michael

Michael — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 00:54:05 +0000

Excellent timing Brett, I’m competing in a negotiation competition at school this semester and have found it really interesting.

I think, as cheesy as it sounds, the Steven Covey idea of “seek first to understand and then to be understood” is really important in any negotiation and is essential to everyone walking away without feeling like they got “taken.”

So many disputes seem to come from not actually understanding what the other side wants.

By: Frank

Frank — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:32:23 +0000

Several of the techniques I’ve always used have been mentioned — kindness, sincerity and staying calm are all excellent tools.

What I try to do, whenever possible, is to make the other person think that what I’m asking for is actually what they’ve wanted all along. Not always easy to do, but if you’re logical and quick thinking, it can be wonderfully satisfying to achieve your goal by making someone else think that it fits right in with their plans.

Also, don’t be afraid to push back when necessary. In a job performance review, I had a manager who collected peer input. One co-worker and I did not get along, and when being reviewed I could tell which pieces of negative feedback had come from him. Having nothing to lose, I decided to push back forcefully on my manager to see if she would back down on that piece of info. To my surprise, she did. I pushed back on all the rest of them except one — which illustrates another good negotation point: Don’t go to the well one too many times.

By: Mike Reynolds

Mike Reynolds — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:28:19 +0000

Body Language is incredibly important during any social interactions, but doubly so during negotiations. Eye contact can be used to your advantage, specifically maintaining eye contact for a longer duration that one would typically use in a business setting. Longer eye contact is typically involved in highly emotional interactions such as those between intimate partners or very close friends. Use of longer eye contact in a business atmosphere will provide those high intimacy cues and will promote higher levels of cooperation within the negotiation.