Am a long-time reader from India and got to say, I love your website but I felt compelled to comment on this article giving my perspective as an Indian (or let’s just say non-westerner). I was in the US for two years and have travelled extensively, so can talk about the differences in attitude.

In India, it used to be common to see close male friends holding hands while walking, to have a hand on each other’s shoulder or hug each otehr when meeting. This was because, a) there was limited interaction between men and women and so a man’s best friends were invariably his mates and b) Because the concept of homosexuality or even of homophobia was not on anyone’s mind ie: it was not even thought possible. (of course, it must have existed but basically lurking in the shadows).

On the contrary, since we have been a traditional and conservative society, it would be scandalous for an unmarried man or woman to be hugging each other (because here there was always the possibility of sexual relations : a big NO-NO between an unmarried man and woman). So in fact, we were the opposite case ie: there would never be man-woman friendships as there would always be a suspicion of something going on which did not have social sanction and in a sense a man would never appreciate a woman for her personality but only for her physical beauty. Myself having grown-up at a certain time, like it or not, am sometimes uncomfortable with the concept of pure friendship between a man and a woman. I am not saying this is good, just pointing out the difference in mentality.

Unfortunately, today with the flattening of the world and the ready access to and influence of western or american culture this easy familiarity between male youngsters has dissapeared from our bigger cities, though thankfully is alive an well in our smaller cities, where it is not uncommon to see young men unselfconciously hold hands etc. However, this leads western tourists to think that most Indians are gay.That’s crazy.

Personally, I feel much more fulfilled from my male friendships due to one simple reason outlined in the article: LOYALTY. The concept of standing by your mate through thick and thin and against the entire world if necessary is something I feel u can only get through male-male friendships and I have been lucky enough to find a few friends like that. On the other hand, I have seen too many so called male female friendships get ruined by one person getting attracted to the other or it being like a one-way exchange ie: I have seen quite a few of my male friends being used in one way or another by girls helping them in various ways around the house, explaining concepts at work, protecting them when drinking etc…all in the name of friendship.

Perhaps my thoughts are skewed in one way , based purely on personal experience and conditioning. But I would say go for male friendships guys. They can be deep and can help you weather many a storm.

Regards,
Rahul