My dad was more of a mother to me then my actual mother ever was. He would be an *amazing* stay at home parent. He cooks better (and more often) then my mom, cleans more then her, and was basically a stay at home dad that worked outside of the home. My mom was always “tired” when she got home from her job as a teacher at an elementary school, and basically didn’t do anything motheringly (she never cooked, cleaned, or anything). My dad would come home from his job (he got up at 5am most days to go to PT, and worked longer hours then she did) and did all the things you would expect of a stay at home parent (often the things associated with the mother: cooking, cleaning, child care, etc.) without fail. He also never missed anything we ever did. Soccer games, band recitals, dance classes, Girl Scout events, science and book fairs, volunteering in our classrooms, whatever.

I think any man who can work long hours all day then come home and make dinner, clean, mow the grass, walk the dog, bake cupcakes for the party at school the next day, help the kids with their homework (I can’t count the number of school projects my dad helped us start and finish at 11pm the night before it was due), bathe them, read them a bedtime story, get them to bed, do the laundry, and then go to bed himself to start all over again, is more of a man then most. That’s a lot of work, even without the added full time job. Being a good stay at home parent is hard work.

My dad isn’t feminine in the least. He plays sports, was in the military for over 20 years, and worked on our house after Katrina ripped apart our town (he also worked to rebuild the homes of others as well). He was the go to guy in our house for jar opening, fixing stuff, etc. He knew his way around power tools and grills. He knows stuff about cars that I will never comprehend. He is also really smart. Street smart as well as book smart (he went to class full time at a university while working full time and essentially raising 3 kids by himself).

I deeply respect my dad for all he’s done for us, as a father and parent in general. I hope I can find a man like him to live out my life with. Except I’m the opposite of my mother and love to cook and be with kids. I actually really want to be a SAHM and raise my children. But just because your wife is a SAHM, doesn’t mean that takes away all your father duties. I hate when I hear about men who “babysit” their own children. That’s parenting, not babysitting.

I’d also like to add that men who are raising only daughters are NOT less manly then men with boys. My father has raised three talented, smart girls who all have good heads on their shoulders. Girls can do anything boys can do. I’m not sure what he missed out on having daughters and not sons. (And none of us are the tomboyish, masculine girl types.) He took us to sporting events and taught us the rules of the game. He taught us how to throw footballs and shoot basketballs. And he doctored our scraped knees and wiped away our tears after failing miserably at sports. He showed us how to throw a punch but told us to never start a fight. He braved The Pink Aisle of toy stores alone to buy us Barbies. He also has passed the true test of manliness (buying tampons for your daughters), hundreds of times over. He wasn’t “less manly” because he was raising girls, he isn’t one of those fathers who gives into every tear and sad face, but he is nurturing and loving. I think it’s about being both of those. He didn’t raise the little “diva princess” girls you see running around with words like “hawt” or “sexi” on the back of their Toddler Size 4 shorts. He raised well rounded young women.

That’s manly.

Plus, they say girls marry their fathers, in the sense that they pick out a life partner who has the same character traits as their fathers. If you don’t want your daughter marrying some misogynic jerk who thinks women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant; then you can’t be a father like that. You should remember that you, as your daughter’s father, are the first man she’ll ever love. And as such, the standard she’ll set for all the other men she has in her life.