We thought it would be fun to start a weekly survey in which we ask Art of Manliness readers whether they think certain actions/jobs/cars/etc are manly. Manliness is a pretty vague concept and means different things to different people. We’re interested in what you think is manly or not and hopefully we can start some interesting discussion and civil debate. We plan on posting the questions on Thursday and we’ll run it in the sidebar for a week. So let’s get started with the first weekly edition of the Art of Manliness “Is it manly?” survey.
Is swearing manly? Vote. Discuss.
n
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Swearing is manly, but it is not gentlemanly.
But I *would* like to know what effect half-assed attempts at covering your swears in front of people has. Is it manly to say “Motherpuffer” or the like instead of Carlin Words? Does that make you look dainty and effete, or courteous?
It depends on what kind of swearing we’re talking about here….peppering your speech with a few damns is manly. Using the F-bomb every other word is not manly. It just shows you can’t put a well-thought out sentence together.
I’d say if you’re gonna do it, go for the gold. No point in bringing out the “What the Fruit” (as the great Caliendo put it) -type censorship. You’ll just come off sounding silly.
Either avoid it completely in front of “those” people, or give it all you’ve got!
Good question Andrew. Here are some non-manly swear substitutes off the top of my head:
-Darn tootin
-Oh my heck
-Flip
-Son of a biscuit
-Fudge
-Frick
Manly swear substitutes:
Great Odin’s Raven!
By the Hammer of Thor!
Swearing every third word is not manly, its cliche and any adult should pride themselves on a vocabulary greater than those in Primary school. However not being able to swear when it is appropriate, is limiting, yes there are times where its NEVER appropriate, but there are times where a well placed word be it some sort of foul word can be a good effective way to make an impactful statement.
I like to treat the F-bomb like just that–a bomb. If you use it all the time, it becomes meaningless. If you hold it in reserve and only let it loose when the situation absolutely calls for it…it explodes. People know you’re pissed. The less you use it, the more effective it is.
Alex M. has a good point. Use it all the time, and it’s just like walking around with your junk hanging out. No one appreciates being around it.
A man should choose his words accordingly. Even between synonyms words have a different scope. So saying: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” may be just the right thing to say.
I had planned a post on this very shortly. You beat me to it, but I am going to write about it anyhow. I think swearing has its place. The only exception is taking the Lord’s name in vein. I am not a holy roller or anything, but I think there are enough folks out there that takes so much offense to this, it is simply not worth the risk of offending people in this way.
Like anything else, if you abuse it, then it becomes annoying and it loses it gusto. But the properly placed expletive works wonders. For instance, in one sentence I can get across the meaning it would take someone else several sentences.
The other reason it can be manly is the fact that, if used correctly and very discretely, you can get people’s attention much quicker. If you are known as a gentleman and do not normally use that language, if used at a certain point, garners all kinds of attention. It can work…
Swearing is only manly inasmuch as it’s appropriately placed. People who just swear because they have nothing else to say are not manly. But, the appropriately placed exclamatory statement will long be a trait of true manliness.
Swearing is unbecoming of a man. To swear is to abandon restraint and spurn dignity. A strong man will hold tightly to these virtues (Incidentally, the English word ‘virtue’ comes from the Latin word for manliness.).
Children often hate hearing their fathers swear, fathers are often saddened and disappointed to hear their children swear and will often avoid swearing in front of their children. I think this is natural evidence that swearing and manliness are not compatible.
Used on occasion, in the right circumstance, I’d have to say yeah, it’s manly.
I agree with Andrew…it’s not gentlemanly, but it can serve the right punch when needed.
As with everything, it can be manly or not. It’s about time and place, about how it’s done and why, it’s about what the swearing communicates. And as with most things manly, it’s not easily learned — we learn it by observing manly men swearing in a manly way.
Observe, for example, that none of the commenters on this article swore. That showed manly restraint. In other words — it is also manly to not swear.
I agree with the general idea of the previous commentators – it depends. Excessive wearing is not manly. However, sometimes, one needs to swear to put sufficient emphasis on a subject. In these circumstances, and provided that one is in the right company, I think it is manly to swear.
With regards to substitutes, I find most non-swear substitutes to be most unmanly. More importantly, if you’re going to swear, swear like a man.
I voted no but there’s a catch.
I haven’t read all the above comments but I think I understand and agree with where most seem to be coming from. Swearing incessantly is childish and immature. But a well placed, perfectly timed swear can be effective and may even feel just right. I remember my reaction to seeing the buildings collapse on 9/11. “Holy s–t!” Maybe not the most mature response but it felt appropriate. Short and sweet is, use appropriately and in moderation.
Swearing is a form of extreme punctuation.
Consciously used (I once very deliberately told my sister-in-law, who was procrastinating severly on a project to “fscking get it done!”) it may be OK.
Habitual potty mouth is tedious and a bore.
Swearing is just plain fun expression, it’s fun for women too so then it’s not manly!
Swearing isn’t necessarily manly, but sometimes it’s necessary, even if to just et off some steam. I’d rather cuss a bit than have a heart attack.
Tough one. I perceive it as manly but I don’t like it. I’m glad to see that Ben took a stand up there.
Swearing really feels more adolescent than manly. Most of the time there is a balanced, thoughtful, biting, or cruel way to put things that totally negates the need for a well rounded man to swear. As I told my students back when I was a teacher, we know better words than that to rip people to shreds so be a little creative.
I often curse, but I have never had any trouble moderating my speech in front of more delicate audiences. I don’t even say “silly” things like “frick” or “dang” or whatever. I tend to be more articulate in general when talking with others, and more laid back when it’s just the guys. I have never once “slipped” a vulgar word in mixed company. So I don’t see much problem with having two behaviors for different circumstances.
Many cities and counties still have public profanity statutes on the books–so not only is it unmanly, but in most cases, it is also illegal.
People who cannot complete a sentence without a curse word or expletive of some sort are immediately filed away in my mind as morons. At the very least, it displays a limited vocabulary and a lack of restraint and circumspection.
If I was hiring someone who used a swearword, even just to me, I would be forced to wonder where else they would show a similar error in self-government–whether I was personally offended or not. The simple fact is that refraining from using swear words will offend NO ONE–but the use of them is certain to at some point.
Great discussion everyone. It looks like the general consensus is: it depends. I’m also impressed with the class of Art of Manliness readers. From the comments it looks like you all are trying your best to be gentlemen in comportment and speech. It’s inspiring to know that there are men out there who don’t fill their language with unnecessary obscenities.
NOOO! But cussing is. The art of cussing is part of manhood. There is a great kids book including this art- no more nice or no more nasty. Very good.
It depends on the circumstance. Some swearing is allowed, but generally it makes you seem like a simpleton when you swear.
Regardless, I think swearing has gotten completely out of control. It is now a staple of the American lexicon, just like an adverb.
This is a topic that I’ve become increasingly aware of, as I peruse the internet, or go out in public, I notice the language used is becoming less and less civil. I guess it starts as teenagers when using such words seems to make kids feel grown up or something, but I would hope that most people would grow out of it and realize that using such language is neither mature nor appropriate.
I once heard a good quote which sums it up perfectly: “Profanity is the attempt of a feeble mind to express itself forcefully.”
Dominating people is manly, therefore the means can justify the ends. It’s obviously not gentlemanly. I’m not advocating swearing in the board room or at your teacher, but when the situation calls for some emotive language, let ‘er rip.
I took a lesson in college to heart, namely that the Bible means it when it says that the tongue has the power of life and death. That power should be used responsibly. Since then, I don’t recall swearing in anger. Occasionally I will, just to properly quote somebody else.
Here’s a question: is it better to explode in a tantrum, or to let the source of your anger see how restrained you are while you calmly address the situation? I go less by what’s manly than by what’s right, because doing the Right Thing is the source of manliness. Besides, seeing controlled anger makes a lot of people very nervous and, therefore, malleable.
Most people I know have never heard me swear in any way. Think of the shock-and-awe if I ever saw the need to actually let loose. Of course, would I keep their respect afterwards, or would it taint their view of me? Therefore do I withhold, until a more desperate day is upon us.
Swearing, in certain situations, can be manly. But if one has to resort to swearing all the time, then it’s simply unintelligent. And if one swears all the time to TRY to sound manly, it is pure posturing.
wtf?
Depending on the situation and the company, a few swears can make all the difference. While I’m sure General Patton would never curse out his wife, using a few well placed phrases we wouldn’t tell our mothers when inspiring the grunts probably helped.
Re: Jack:
“If the tongue could cut
as the sword can do,
the dead would be infinite.”
Filippo Vadi, “Arte Dimicandi Gladiatoria” (c.1482 – 87) (tr. Greg Mele)
I don’t think swearing is polite, but I find it distinctly unfeminine. Therefore, it’s a masculine act. Is it “manly” in the positive sense? No.
Do I even see “manly” as a positive characteristic? No, it’s a neutral one.
I try not to swear, unless I’m getting into a mindset for a character. I often swear when I’m very angry, but it’s a limit of one or two per state of anger.
I went with no. As others have said, a well-placed swear can make a point. A paragraph of swear words only serves to prove the content of the speaker’s character. I think the problem is that people THINK it makes them manly. Manliness is taking care of those around you, being able to handle yourself, solving problems, and not being an asshole without cause. Profuse swearing does nothing to further any of those goals.
Cheers
Scott Kustes
Modern Forager
Just as an aside to something I read earlier, dominating another person in not manly.
My dad used to tell me that cursing was a sign of low intelligence and poor vocabulary. This coming from a Navy war veteran and car mechanic by trade.
Another way to look at it is this: cursing and swearing are often times the adult version of a temper tantrum.
The ability to speak with impact without vulgarity is, I think, far more manly than cursing.
I wouldn’t say swearing is MANLY, I would say however it does make you out to be a bit of an asshole
Not in the slightest. Finding a more eloquent word, or omitting the curse altogether, is a much better way of doing things. If you feel the need to curse, you either should not be speaking at that moment, or you lack tact.
I’ve always been of the opinion that profanity is an art form when used properly and in the right situations and at the proper times. IMO, constant swearing isn’t appropriate, however the judicious use of the f-bomb (a very versatile cuss-word) can more eloquently express a thought or feeling than tens of paragraphs of the most learned prose.
Tim, I love that quote! Though I wouldn’t personally go so far as to characterise everyone who swears as feeble-minded.
I agree with the very first post. For whatever reason, swearing is manly, but NOT gentlemanly. These things are not to be confused and shouldn’t be compared. Stinking to high heaven after a days work is manly, but I won’t go to a restaurant smelling. I suspect that I will be using “By The Hammer of THOR!” more often. Me likey.
However, I think you fellas looking at swearing from the other perspective have confused manly with gentlemanly. As a former US Navy sailor, and a nuclear reactor operator, I suspect that feeble-minded is not something that most people would call me, and I swear from time to time in the right company, for the right reasons. But I have been all jacked up before, maybe now is one of those times. I think that profuse swearing probably is a shitty way to get your point across and likely a sign of a shallow vocabulary. But hell’s bell’s, nobody’s perfect, even those of us who are sanctimonious assholes.
Interesting comments here. Clearly swearing has no bearing on manliness as such. It is not becoming, however, of a man of virtue; at least he should not swear with any frequency. It’s been said above that the well-placed swear word may be exactly what is called for, which seems, to me, pretty close to right. But a virtuous man can usually make the same point without swearing with his sincerity and tone. The manly/gentelmanly distinction pointed out above (Matt and others) seems to be a good one.
There is also the question of setting. Those of us who’ve worked in places where the f-bomb is adjective, noun, verb, adverb, article, etc. know that context often matters. Good men do sometimes cuss and they’re still good.
Probably safer to say that it is gentlemanly to know when swearing is inappropriate, which is most of the time.
Are long, pompous posts manly? If not, I’m in trouble.
In general, no, but there are exceptions.
Personally, I find constant swearing rather harsh to the ears. One problem with the constant-swearers is that they run off of pure emotion.
A clever turn of phrase can catch just as much attention as a swear word and also get you noticed for the touch of class you bring to tense situations.
Just my thought.
Hmmm… It’s rather more complicated than a “yes/no” situation. Sort of like “Is it good to perform surgery?” Well, when? In what case?
I think that there are certain times when it is warranted, where nothing else will really do. However, words that tend to be offensive ought to be used with discretion, and, as truly fine swearing can be an art-form, if used, swearing should be used with panache, class, and creativity. Just using a four letter word because your puny neurons cannot come up with something better is the practice of curs and swine (like most rappers). However, when employed with a certain elegance, a speaker can craft a tapestry-like streak of blue that is like looking into the face of God and hearing him reply, “You are my most wondrous creation!”
In short, yes, swearing can be manly. But it is, unfortunately, rarely used that way. (And let’s not even mention the utter desolation of substitutions for cursing. If it isn’t the right moment to say “damn,” then it surely isn’t the right time to say “darn.” Positively nauseating.)
Swearing is NOT manly. Think about when you first learned to swear… You may have been a kid. Then, think about when you first started doing it, and were swearing the most. You were probably a teenager, using swearing & drinking beer to “APEAR” to be grown up.
Having the restraint NOT to swear, but to articulate what you are feeling with words and in an appropriate way is manly… in my opinion.
Thanks.
The general concensus seems to be that it’s okay to swear in certain situations and company. A good manly man, is always a gentleman. I won’t sit on my high horse and say I don’t drop an expletive every now and again, but I believe it to be unmanly and simple. A distinquished gentleman and manly man is smart enough to put together a sentence without such words. It shows you have little to no respect for the other people in the room.
On the subject of female curseing: it isn’t ladylike and I enjoy the company of a woman with some class.
Something above bothered me a bit, dominating people is not manly. What is manly is having discretion, which means, knowing when to dominate people in a situation, and when to yeild and step aside. My grandfather once let a man punch him in the jaw and then asked his attacker if he wanted to punch the other side so that he could have even bruises. I believe he rose above by not retaliating, and in doing so became more of a man than the person that hit him.
In response to the manliness long pompous posts, if they aren’t, then we’re in it together sir.
No, let your talk be self-censored, never let a word go without thinking about it.
Think about Pope Benedict, watch him on TV sometime. Very manly person, sincere, caring, and honest, he is still honest. From a man like that, he wouldn’t have to cuss or curse, he would just state the facts, and they would stand, not needing emphasis.
If give your speech a understated character, then even words that mean nothing from others will land like a sledgehammer from your mouth. Leave your censure for things needing censure, and leave your praise for things worthy of it.
In my mind, swearing indicates a lack of control of language and the inability to use a more suitable word. If it is manly to demonstrate self control and intelligence, then I’d have to say swearing is just not manly.
Swearing must be used in moderation to be an effective addition to a manly vocabulary. I think it helps express some of our primal emotions, add emphasis, force, and conviction to our statements. It can also be fun and add a sense of camaraderie to a men’s only get together.
{Some senior elements of the military has taken to calling profanity use by officers unprofessional. Given their working conditions and missions they are expected to perform, this just shows a disconnect between elitist/political generals and operation troops.}
Ed