We thought it would be fun to start a weekly survey in which we ask Art of Manliness readers whether they think certain actions/jobs/cars/etc are manly. Manliness is a pretty vague concept and means different things to different people. We’re interested in what you think is manly or not and hopefully we can start some interesting discussion and civil debate. We plan on posting the questions on Thursday and we’ll run it in the sidebar for a week. So let’s get started with the first weekly edition of the Art of Manliness “Is it manly?” survey.
Is swearing manly? Vote. Discuss.
n
{democracy:12}
Facebook
{ 2 trackbacks }
{ 93 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
I’ve been thinking about the substitute words I’ve been using instead of swears, and a few of them come out alright without coming off as silly.
(By the way, I, for one, always think TV shows that use the word “crap” always sound so ridiculous. It’s like you can hear the FCC breathing down their necks. “Crap” is a substitute for the s-word like carob is to chocolate. No one is really fooled, but everyone pretends that they are. )
Anyway, here are my substitutes:
For BS: Hooey, Nonsense
Unpleasant person: (Male) Clown, Jackass. (Female): Broad, Shrew
Person felled by hubris/Making terrible choices: Train wreck
Expressing wonder: Holy smokes!
Unpleasant surprise: Oh, man. (heavily dependent on tone of voice)
That’s about 90% of my swearing needs right there. At worst, I sound like some tough-guy private eye in a 1953 film noire.
Come to think of it–at *best*, I sound like some tough-guy private eye in a 1953 film noire.
The circumstances preceeding the swearing matter. If you find out that your wife/daughter/family member is hurt/dead then it is quite ok to swear.
If it’s not ladylike, it’s probably manly. Swearing- case in point. It sure as hell ain’t metro.
The pope manly???? That dress he wears is not something that the all-blacks would wear and the silly hat and “dress” ring says nancy-boy to me.
Swearing is a great way to express emotion. Emotion, though, is not something to be expressed by a man. Referencing Ben Franklin’s virtues, speech should be reserved for times benefitting the speaker or others. If an emotion must be expressed impulsively, when the only words that come to mind are vulgar, then it is unlikely that you have carefully thought over the benefit its expression will have for yourself or others.
Amidst even death and destruction, I think it is the real man who can keep his words to himself, overcome emotion, and immediately act, doing what is morally necessary to make things right.
I have been trying half heartedly to quit swearing for years. I think swearing pretty much sucks. But then I get into a situation and just can’t think of any other way to express how I feel.
Swearing, cussing and foul mouthed talk is a great mark of a fool and a less than intelligent individual who cannot use rational discussion and words to persuade others. A ‘real man’ will talk respectfully in front of everyone and keep his language and topics “above the line” if you will to gain respect. A man that does this consistantly, will be given favor and respect for being calm under fire and keep control of his mouth. Be a gentleman not a roughian.
Consider Biblical Wisdom; James 3:2-6
2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
Ok so I voted yes. Yet it is more complicated and I found the wording of the question a little wishy washy in a way. Must we define manliness in a modern setting in a traditional way. I will prepare my answer by saying I am English and people seem to swear a lot more here, obviously it is dependent upon the situation, as has been noted previously, but i really think that if you are with friends (not exclusively male but it depends, certainly not on a date) and you swear or if you are looking for your sentence to hold a little more weight then let rip. On I also think we have a slightly different definition of what a swear word is, for me there are four, obviously i won’t write them down for the sake of politeness but four and I’m sure you can guess. One of them I don’t use but I know a lot of young men who do. Begins with C. Use of that isn’t gentlemanly at all but I imagine it fulfils a role, I just find that a bit offensive. Two of my fellow workers (in a kitchen) routinely call one another such. I also think racial slurs aren’t swear words but something far worse which should be ruled out of our language entirely along with words aimed directly at certain groups of people and meant with derision – attacks at homosexuals of both genders for example, or descriminatory language aimed at women. We, the English, also have some wonderous mini swears, words that aren’t swear words but are a bit cheeky. Try calling someone a tosspot and keeping a straight face. a manly note, check out Jurt Russel in the The Thing, stick of dynamite in one hand, blood on him, monstrous alien screaming in his face, and his response, “yeah well **** you too.” Hyper manly.
A good curse is simply an exclamation point on a sentence. “Did you see the last Pen’s game? Fuck…” Sometimes it’s just a single word that encompasses an entire range of feeling. There’s no better was to express being a waiter, and getting a table of 15 just before closing that “Motherfucker…”. It’s expression at its simplest, and therefore its finest. Like any phrase, it can be overused and diluted to the point of meaninglessness, but sometimes you’ve got nothing to say but, “Oh, shit!”
Swearing just to swear is foolish. If you are trying to express something and you need to make the point very clear, a well placed swear word may be appropriate. Hitting you thumb with a hammer and swearing is appropriate. Going off for five minutes and swearing about it is foolish.
Swearing can also express who you are as a person. In high school, there was a Jesuit brother who could rattle off more swear words than a group of druken salors. His swearing fit his personality. He was a short, mean son a bitch. This is putting it mildly. Everyone know Brother Val and you stayed clear of him.
Guys who swear to sound cool or to bully of show who is the boss are simple minded. I had a boss that would swear just because he could and did to show his rank in the office.
I do not think there is one simple answer for every situation.
I swear. I curse. I blaspheme. I am infamous for my foul, aggressive, profane scurrility. But I am not proud of it. I’ve made an effort in the last few years to rein in my casual swearing. I do so because I find the habit vulgar and coarse, not, however, because I see it as being indicative of a lack of intelligence or education. Swearing becomes a crutch and it cripples both my lexical creativity and retards what little linguistic skill I already possess.
I cannot say that swearing is entirely unmanly, but I agree with the contributor who said that it is, “ungentlemanly.” The ubiquitous swearing of our day is almost completely opposite the cursing that has gone on before us: it is now cursing that is randomly seasoned with inoffensive terms, not the reverse.
I do not recall John Wayne (in his films) having dialogue that would make a streetgang member blush, and yet a generation of men ascribe to him inherent “manliness.” Being a man, as it is defined by generations of men, entails a fundamental familiarity with and restraint of violence. We are whether by societal or evolutionary (or supermundane) molding the defender and protector sex. This entails aggressiveness and violence which can be physical or, as is more common in our soft and civilized society, verbal. Swearing, cursing, profanity, what have you, does not run counter to being a man, but its misuse or over-use, like that of physical violence, does.
The fine line a “real man” treads is one that snakes between the crude, thoughtless barbarity of the brute and the effeminent, decadent passivity of the androgyne. It is all too unfortunate that swearing has been turned from a provocative intensifier into an ugly, all-too-pervasive symptom of societal degeneration, but a man has a choice: choose your words as carefully. They say more about you then you may intend. I hope to gain control over my knee-jerk profanity.
I tend to choose my words very carefully when I speak. I believe that words have only the meaning we attach to them, and so when I do curse I typically apply good meaning to them (”Son of a bitch that was fun!”). Manly? Probably not. Effective as a tool of speech? Absolutely.
dont forget the greatest of all….frack it. it’s from battlestar galactica (the new one on scifi).
I think, again, that most of the posts either intentionally or accidentally confirm what many have said. Cussing may be or may not be manly, but it is certainly not virtuous. The virtuous man can and does find a way to say the same thing, with gravity, and with appropriate language. Cussing does not make a man “bad”, it is more evidence of one’s inability to express himself appropriately in all situations. I’m guilty, too.
And with regards to the pope, he is an excellent example of manliness. It’s unfortunate that many take his inclusion in discussions secular to be inappropriate, or can’t engage Catholic and other religious thinkers and ideas without vitriol. Anyone who can say what B16 said to the leaders of Islam, in highest seriousness and intellect, deserves respect. And that’s what he got when he received the letter from many Islamic leaders suddenly wanting to talk about faith and reason. When other Western Christian leaders effeminately replied (without the pope) that he was just kidding, and we’re sorry for being Western oppressors, etc., he again replied that he was not kidding, and with great respect to Islam and its adherents, we need to talk about violence in the name of religion (which the Catholic Church has also in its history), and religious tolerance, he set himself apart from other pathetic and weak religious leaders.
Sorry, don’t want to hijack the discussion. Just wanted to get that on the record. Probably better to deal with that in another thread. I don’t think he cussed, either, but I don’t know him that well.
i’m a guy who’s not manly in the least, and i curse a lot. so my vote would obviously fall in the “no” category.
but my question to everyone is, what about heat-of-the-moment exclamatory profanity? like when i’ve heard my ankle go *pop* with a high ankle sprain and felt the accompanying pain? what about when i got t-boned by another car, leading to a totaled 4 month old truck? how inappropriate was is that i swore as my initial reaction rather than something long the lines of “oh man this is not good”?
To me, the most manly form of speaking is to speak plainly and bluntly. While cursing and flipping out, you could just as easily explain why you’re so angry in the first place. I’ll use words like freaking and crap from time to time, pseudo curses, but a real curse leaving my mouth is rare, and I strive to make it non-existent.
I was raised with the idea that profanity is the last resort of a dull mind.
I find the posts of people who use profanity in their comments to illustrate the proper time and use for profanity amusing. Because they fail miserably. All they have demonstrated is their inability to form cogent arguments without resorting to profane language.
Furthermore, the individuals who claim that the “f-bomb” is appropriate at times to “shock” their listener into attention or to underscore the supposed importance of their argument are missing the point.
If you didn’t have the reputation for a foul mouth in the first place, you wouldn’t need to resort to a “bomb” to make your point.
Watch the scene with the sanitary napkin in the trash can in To Sir with Love for an example of how a man can absolutely eviscerate a group of people without uttering a single profanity.
The use of profanity simply demonstrates an inability to control yourself. Uttering a profanity should be considered a failure of self-restraint in my opinion.
If you examine your use of profanity, you will find nearly every time it is the result of giving in to your anger.
My memories of a manly father and grandfathers will include their use of “damn” and “shit” skillfully.
timely swearing is manly. a man should not be afraid to express his rage, and swearing is one of those tools. but a man who constantly and excessively swears looks like an angry fool and is an angry fool.
swearing is a skill, but with many men a lost art.
true men aren’t afraid to swear, but they know when to swear and when not to.
A manly man will not lose his temper. The Bible, God’s Holy Word, says that the fool loses his temper. Therefore, because swearing is a symptom of anger, swearing is wrong.
In addition, swear words are probably always wicked words or offshoots of bad words. That is another reason why swearing is bad.
To support Alex M. on June 25, Marilyn Manson said that if every other word is the “F” word, then what is the barometer of F-ness? That is, if you use it all the time, there’s no impact. Personally, I don’t like the term “swearing”, as it is not the original use of the word. “Profanity” is more accurate. Like other posters said, it shows lack of intelligent thought if you curse all the time.
I have conflicting opinions on this one.
In theory: Under normal circumstances, I think that men shouldn’t swear. In my opinion, it shows a lack of language skill, creativity and/or restraint.
In reality: I swear. I swear too much. I’ve conditioned myself not to swear when my kids are awake, but at my childless worst I’ve been so bad that I could finish a conversation and not know for sure whether I had used profanity or not because it came so naturally to me.
There’s something cathartic about swearing. I once heard a comedian describe being angry without profanity as “about as effective as slamming a cordless telephone. All you can do is hit the talk button really hard, and that’s just not the same.” There’s also something that strikes me as very…prissy…about not swearing when you’re angry. I know a guy that gets very precise and very formal when he gets mad, and I just can’t take him seriously when he gets like that.
I think my final verdict is that profanity is unmanly in all but the most extreme situations (like saying F-you while you beat the guy who just tried to attack your wife, or something equally extreme) and that I have a lot of work ahead of me to put this into practice.
Einstein said that if you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it well enough. Swearing only obfuscates the meaning of a message, making you look like a dingus.
“Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” ~ Mark Twain
I don’t think profanity is manly. Controlling your tongue is manly. However, I agree that sometimes, nothing else seems to quite fit. Saying, “ah, darnit” after you’ve just had it with someone, and you’re swearing to keep from punching the guy, that doesn’t bother me. Or letting something slip when you hammer your finger, or when you you’re really mad about something and need to get your point across. Basically, it should be used as an extreme, something that doesn’t come up in everyday conversation. And lastly, just because something’s not femenine, doesn’t make it manly.
To be manly means to be virtuous, since the spiritual life is the fulfillement of human life, and profanity is contrary to temperance. Temperance keeps the tongue in check, lest it utter every foul word out in anger or in pleasure. It goes beyond taking God’s Name in vain, too; it also extends to the names of the saints and holy places. Saint Michael, rather than verbally attacking Satan when they disputed over the corpse of Moses, prayed rather “May the Lord rebuke thee!” Jesus, rather than verbally attacking His executioners, prayed rather, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Prayer is better than profanity and it is more manly. Indeed, without prayer, a man has no spiritual life, and so, he is not a man but an animal.
If you are just throwing curses because your an “adult” and no one can tell you what to do, then no it’s not manly.
Swearing is what we do when our grammatical skills or vocabulary are insufficient to create the impact or meaning that we are looking for. It is for all intents and purposes, a form of intellectual laziness. It’s borish in mixed company, much to familiar in professional settings, lazy in exclusive company and almost always tactless. That having been said, there ARE those (rare) moments when nothing will get the point across quite the way a good F-Bomb will.
I would say swearing is manly as long as it is articulate — that is, swearing just to be vulgar, or without realizing the impact of your words on listeners, is unmanly and stupid. But swearing either in a way that startles listeners when you are angry and mean to, or that is in appropriate context (around others who think nothing of swearing) is certainly manly, since being scared of words is for wimps.
It is as manly to swear as it is to cry, which has already been discussed in an article on here. As it is a release of emotion, no more no less.
But do remember that using a curse word does show that you are not very articulate, thus lessening your standing as a gentleman.
Obsessing about swearing is certainly not manly. Excessive swearing marks you as an adolescent — someone who’s trying out the words they weren’t allowed to use as children.
Gentlemen are not wordy. They make their point using enough words to be clear and polite, not much more.
As such, sometimes the only response to something is to swear. By way of example, an entirely appropriate response to “sorry, sir, but your car has blown a head gasket, and it’ll be $950 in parts and labor to replace” is simply: “… shit.”
I’m in the Army and we are about as manly as it gets. And we swear a bunch. Every other word that comes out of my sargeants mouth is f so I’d say its manly to swear. Plus when an IED goes off thats the perfect time to say fuck
“It depends on what kind of swearing we’re talking about here….peppering your speech with a few damns is manly. Using the F-bomb every other word is not manly. It just shows you can’t put a well-thought out sentence together.”
This
Swearing has nothing to do with being “manly” – it is an art form either gender is capable of mastering, but most don’t. A true master of this art knows it’s more than just uttering obscenities in everyday speech, it requires timing and an extensive vocabulary. Done correctly, people will often be awestruck or impressed, rather than offended.
Swearing prolifically in day-to-day speech simply engenders the belief that the you lack the necessary vocabulary, intelligence or skills to express yourself effectively.
I had a great math teacher in high school who said “People over use swearing, taking away it’s original use, placing emphasis and anger into a statement. They now use it instead of developing the linguistic and intellectual facilities necessary to make a bold statement without the use of swearing. “
I’m a fan of the swearing used by Mr. Rochester in the book Jane Eyre. Constantly frustrated, angered, perturbed and just downright a bit of an ass he manages to get away with expressing his disdain for most other living things with the manly: “What the deuce?!”. I use it every now and then when heavier swearing is not appropriate. Unfortunately I’ve discovered that many people now attribute this phrase to the character Stewie Griffin in the fart joke ridden tv show Family Guy. I’ve also come to find out that many people (especially younger ones) seem to associate the word deuce only with feces.
So here is a brief etymology lesson on “What the deuce”
What the deuce is a synonym of “what the dickens”. Dickens being by the way a pet name of Richard. The devil has been called by this name at times. So “What the deuce” could also be said to mean “What the devil”. This is at least the case with the older German phrases “Wat de duus!” and “Was der Daus!”.
No, No, No! Cursing is an emotional expression, angry feelings reified in unsocial language which is sadly becoming more socialized with each passing day. A real man does not give vent to feelings in public that is before strangers. Not to say he does have them, just that they are under his control, as opposed to in control of him!
All humans get angry, and anger is the frustration of desire, an undesirable state of mental or emotional tension. Real men do not give in, they prevail, through fortitude, strength and work.
If you get frustrated and want to change then just growl under your breath like a bear, but do not give in to vulgarity.
Why, hell yes, it’s manly….sometimes.
Only when needed for emphasis, and only the 4 “classics”, like hell, d#mn, sh#t, and as#…the F-bomb has historical provenance, but it’s too vulgar for a gentleman to use; it’s a definite no-no for ladies (notice I didn’t say ‘women’…some are worse than men).
I have always told my sons it’s OK to throw out a scorcher or two when working on an old car or hot rod, and sometimes you can make it specifically personal to the vehicle (usually of female connotation – the “B” word), especially if a set of busted knuckles are the trigger….
Rob
I think I agree with most of the people here. It really depends on what the context is. If you stub your toe, I think it is perfectly fine to utter damn under your breath. Or as what was already said if your describing something and a curse word is required then say “d-word” instead of dammit…its just stupid and makes you look like a tool. adding the Fuck word to explain directions to the Wal-mart makes you look like an ignorant punk.
Anyway, man up
No. It is a sign of a limited vocabulary or lack of discipline and self-control. Many others here claim that there is a time and a place for it. I totally disagree. If you cannot express yourself in a situation in a proper manner then you need to seek help. Society has never benefited from the use of profanity.
It has become more common to hear women swear mainly because men stopped showing self-control, or more importantly respect for women, by using profanity in their presence. I can still remember when real men did not swear in front of a lady and to do so could earn you a quick expulsion or a busted nose from more chivalrous gentlemen. Swearing is like anything else, get enough and you become desensitized to it. This is proven by how the “acceptable” words on television keep changing for the worse.
“Just using a four letter word because your puny neurons cannot come up with something better is the practice of curs and swine (like most rappers).”
That statement is more offensive than most of the profanity-laden expressions I’ve heard in my life.
Getting a little salty around your buddies when you’re having a good time is one thing. Cussing in mixed company or within earshot of children is pretty crass.
I’d say that swearing in and of itself is neither inherently manly nor unmanly. It all depends on the context:
While amongst like-minded friends, a light peppering of your speech with colorful words can lend a very strong hand to its humor: “Did you see her? She was stacked like a brick shithouse.”
To swear in mixed company, or because you simply can’t develop a more eloquent phrase, is not manly at all: “Hey, motherfucker! Come back here!”
Sometimes, however, there are certain colorful words or phrases one can use to immediately convey that you mean business, and they are as such more appropriate, and can be considered manly, if not downright poised: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
← Previous Comments