The Gentleman’s Guide To Tipping

If you don’t want to tip, eat at McDonald’s. I don’t see what the fuss is about… in America it is and accepted custom. Giving presents at Christmas makes no sense either, but you don’t hear people complain about that.

Why would you complain about a 15% vs 18% tip? On a $20 tab, that’s an extra 60 cents. SIXTY FREAKING CENTS! An extra sixty cents… dollar… five dollars… in the long run, what does that really mean to you?

Loosen up, show some appreciation, and give an extra dollar or two to make up for those who don’t see the necessity.

Whats the best practice for tipping when you order food for pickup?

Few of my own guidelines… and yes i worked many years in the service sector.

Depends when i get my food, before or after bill. Always fear of spitting (or other) in the food.
PIzza – don’t tip more than 3 bucks, or usually around 10%
Favorite Regular Local Joints – usually 18-20%
Chains – I have a hard time tipping them, they generally have really poor service
Generic but great service – 15%
Coffee Barista – at my favorite place I don’t have a problem tipping 2-3 bucks on a 3-4 dollar coffee, just seems like the right thing to do.
I prefer to pay my tips in cash if I can, to minimize the restaurant taking its cut.
Barber – if its a regular place I goto, try to do 5.00 again I prefer to tip in cash

Tipping should not be expected, its really nice to tip when they don’t expect anything.

Tipping is such a North American culture thing, when I was living in NZ it was pretty rude when you tipped someone.

@Matt: Funny you mention McDonalds. I have seen tip buckets there as well. And to paraphrase you, I could say: if a server doesn’t like that people don’t tip, s/he should get a better paid job.

Tipping is booty. I worked at an auto parts store and saved people hundreds of dollars by doing free diagnostic tests and then getting them the right part and telling them how to fix it, all while running a cash register and the parts counter. Unlike the majority of the guys in this business I was also friendly. I never got tipped (I just saved you a thousand dollar auto repair bill, Your Welcome). Screw waiters. Plus why do I have to tip so much more just because the food is so expensive. the waitress at a breakfast cafe only gets like five bucks for a tip after doing the same job as some douche at a fancy expensive resturaunt and I’m supposed to tip the douche more because the food was five times as expensive. screw that

Hey Matt
ten percent of a 20 dollar tab is 2 bucks so how can fifteen percent be 60 cents, you moron. Yo

@Brett: One more item to add to your list. Here in NYC one of the most complex tipping conundrums are the yearly holiday bonuses the tenants are supposed to give to their doormen. Many people who live in a doorman building obsess about this topic every December.

Hey Nick,
Thanks for the math lesson.

<3,
Matt

I may have misssed it in a previous post, but you have to remember that the IRS taxes an employee based on the amout of the check. Because the meal or drinks were expensive, does not mean the employee is well paid. . While you were having a good time while out, while running up a decent tab, the IRS taxes the employee on the amount of that tab. Therefore , you just cost that server money for coming to work and doing their job. Especially when they gave you good service, which is generaly most of the time. The IRS has a problem understanding that the customer undertipped, or did not tip you . The employee usually looses these unpleasant confrontations.
As long as the gov’t keeps assuming what a server makes in tips, please don’t punish the server for what the dinner or drinks cost. As far as the staff sometimes splitting their tips with others, so what?
A wise man once said, ” never count another mans money”.
BTW, yes, once upon a time, I worked as a tipped employee.

For your caddie on the golf course (at least at a nice course), 100% of the caddie’s rate for a tip is good, more is always appreciated.

@ James – I’m not sure if you’re in America, but mail carriers here aren’t allowed to take tips. I’m not saying that he didn’t take and appreciate the pen set, but he really wasn’t supposed to take it.

@ Zach – 10% of the hotel bill for housekeeping per day? Only if you’re staying at a $20-$50 hotel, as $2-$5 is the norm.

@ Andrew – Having worked in restaurants, I can definitely say that servers are not taxed by the IRS based on the food bill. We’re taxed on reported income. In fact, lower taxes due to under-reported tips has caused some recent lawsuits against servers who blatantly disregard honest self-reporting.

And a note about foreigners: I used to take taxis regularly in San Francisco without incident. However, one day I took a taxi with a friend from Israel and the driver very purposely let the meter role longer than he should have. I was angry until my friend left the cab without tipping. It turns out he didn’t know Americans tip taxi drivers until I told him afterward. The taxi driver was just running up the meter because he suspected he wasn’t going to be tipped.
My advice would be to subtract this amount from any tip if your driver goes out of the way or otherwise runs up the meter. Also, if more people learn the culture and customs of where they’re going before they leave home, American servers will begin treating foreigners with more respect.

Some bartenders do not deserve 20%. When a beer goes for $7 and the bartender takes forever to get to you, waiting on people who have come after you, they don’t need $2 per drink for simply opening the tap. I always base my last tip to the bartender on my first drinks. I used to wait tables, so I know how hard it can be to earn a tip. But bartenders are very rarely working as hard as a waiter, and some of them act like emperors.

I almost never go below 20% for a waiter, and rarely go above 30%. For a bartender, my range spans lower than 10% for greater than 50%, as the variability in their service has a greater impact on my enjoyment of the night.

@ Matt – Tipping the Chef – if you feel that the food is exceptionally good at a restaurant, a gentlemanly thing to do for the chef would be to invite him to your table for a drink of his choice (Typically brandy, port, or liqueur). Some people will also shake hands and thank the chef, if the chef or the diners do not drink. Most Chefs make well over minimum wage, and would rather have some other form of gratification for their staff.

I’ve always thought folding and passing a bill, or “greasing the palm” of a service person to be, well, greasy, and uncouth… (It’s usually done as a bribe to try and jump the line) But in this case, near the end, or after the meal, this may be the only discrete way to pass a monetary amount to a Cook at a lower-end restaurant, with a small staff of cooks instead of an entire range of culinary staff (Chef, Sous-Chef, Line Cook, etc…)

If you think of a restaurant in military terms – you don’t give a General money for doing his job – he gets paid enough. On the other hand, the grunt workers could always use the extra cash, and would appreciate it. One must pay their respects accordingly to the type of staff you deal with. That said, I don’t think a cook would mind being treated like a chef and being offered a drink instead of a monetary tip. His drink choice just might not be as fancy as you’d expect from a chef.

Being an independent newspaper carrier(distributor/contractor) I can tell you we really count on tips all year round. We not only have to pay for our gas and vehicle expenses, ( Some repairs costing thousands of dollars and brakes an easy $300-$600 every 4-6 months)but pay taxes on our income plus tips as they are reported on a 1099 form. I use 45 gallons of gas a week and our newspaper just started a .50 a month temp. fuel surcharge to give to the carriers. That does not even cover 1 weeks worth of gas. We have to buy our bags if we wrap the paper. I don’t know who ever came up with tipping the paper carrier only at Xmas but I know the trashman and the mailman all receive good hourly rates and health care benefits and retirement benefits and the paper carrier should not be placed with them. We receive nothing from the newspapers but our per piece rate. Please advise your readers that they should tip the paper carrier on all their bills as we depend on it to help cover expenses.

i regularly eat at little places like waffle house and steak and shake in the middle of the night, some of those people ive gotten to know and work multiple jobs, i tip way more the the customary 15% i usually tip closer to 50% mostly because the meals are cheap and they work way to hard for what they make. ive also gotten tips when working retail and always try to not accept them because im just doing my job.

You Americans need to stop tipping as a substitute for pay. It’s a moronic condescending practice that you’re unfortunately exporting a masquerade for manners.

There’s absolutely no reason to “tip” someone for bringing you a plate of food. That price should be built into the meal and passed on by the employer in the form of a wage. That’s how real men pay their staff.

The other way is akin to begging. No employee deserves to be treated like that, and frankly, a real man would boycott an establishment that doesn’t pay its staff.

>>John Hooper – and the rest of the world needs to remember that socialism has to stop somewhere. Tipping isn’t an incentive, it is a check on service. Most waitstaff remembers to be kind and courteous., but occasionally you come across someone, who for some reason, doesn’t quite get it. How do you went your frustrations then? Do you call the manager? Doesn’t that seem a bit extreme? In our situation tipping serves to reinforce the idea that the staff serves the customer, and not the other way around.

I live in Las Vegas and you tip for everything. Everything. When you get to a hotel remember to tip the cleaners, the doorman, the bellhop, the concierge, anyone who hands you anything related to food or drink, “that guy in the restroom” (yes, you do tip him anywhere between 1 and 5 dollars), dealers, cocktail waitresses, the valet (including the one who gives you a rental car), exotic dancers (some dancers pay to work, tips are their only source of income), the chef (if you eat a meal that costs over a thousand dollars ask to see the chef, palm him 10 to 25% and thank him personally), performers at a show and anyone else who does any sort of service for you, no matter how mundane. The idea that some waitstaff don’t make minimum wage is completely true.

My biggest complaint with tipping is basing it on a percentage of the check. I’ve gone to a local dive where a 15% tip is $0.75 – not very fair to the server. On the other hand, I ended up at a restaurant that was much more expensive than I expected. My 15% tip for the least expensive thing on the menu was over $7 (and $45 for the table) — too much for just taking our order and bringing us food.

@Novel – If you’re in a state with a sales tax of around 7.5%, you can just double the tax to calculate the tip. Since the tip is taken off the pre-tax amount, this works out perfectly.

Oops — bad forum manners! I think my makeshift “blockquote” marks made half my post disappear. Forgive me please, & let me try that again:

—————————

++ The whole tipping system is flawed and inefficient IMO. ++

It’s a good point — why should we tip people for doing their job?? I can see why you (and _many_ other people) would think that way. And, in some cases, I agree. The distinction comes down to exactly what you’ve recognized: Efficiency.

As a waiter for more years than I care to think about, I saw the way tipping can make a system more efficient (by which I mean, “better-operating” or providing a better experience for the customer.) I was very good at what I did — at making sure people were happy & had a pleasurable experience when they came into my restaurant. I made very good money by doing so, despite my base pay of only $2.13/hr.

Other waiters weren’t very good, especially when they were new. There wouldn’t have been much reason for them to improve, had tipping not been the standard.
It’s like being able to give yourself a raise — no begging the boss-man required.

However, the reason this works is because there is the potential for variance in the level of service the customer receives. In situations like car-washing, or tattooing/piercing, or — heck, I’ll go with it — nursing, when you connect the level of pay to the level of service, it makes things more fair. (Why should people have to pay the same price for poor service as for excellent service?! Why should crummy service people make the same as really hard-working service people?!)

In other cases — like the tip jar @ the cash register @ Subway, for instance — tipping is just absurd. There’s little difference between the sandwich you get when it’s made by a skillful, experienced “sandwich artist”, vs the, perhaps not quite as neatly-prepared sandwich you get when it’s made by the new guy. Sorry — no increase in “efficiency” (as I’ve used the term above) there.

@John Hooper ++ You Americans need to stop tipping as a substitute for pay. It’s a moronic condescending practice that you’re unfortunately exporting a masquerade for manners. There’s absolutely no reason to “tipâ€? someone for bringing you a plate of food.++

Another excellent point! When I was in Europe, I saw exactly what John was talking about — many of the waiters there (especially in the non-touristy areas) _did_ just “bring you a plate of food”. Hell, some of them didn’t even come by & refill my water! It was as though the customers were more of a nuisance than anything else; keeping the waitstaff from smoking cigarettes around back or something. I felt like telling some of them in advance, “hey, I’m going to give you a good tip. Just make sure I’m not dying of thirst over here!” Though I don’t know whether that would have helped.

I did have some customers who made me feel like I was begging for a living. But most of the time, I sincerely did enjoy making people happy. It’s not every job where you get to do that twenty or so times a night.

Shane

Tipping good always led to me getting great contacts for information. I don’t drink but that never stopped me from tipping the bartenders extra for my water or soda.

Also, tip according to how many times you made your server come to the table or how difficult you made the process. If you were really needy and made him/her run back and forth all night because you kept forgetting you needed just one more thing, you kept them from helping other tables (causing those tips to be crummy). If they only had to come by two or three times to bring your drinks, food, and check, they don’t need to be tipped more than ten percent.

Tipped labor can only be paid $2.13/hour if the hourly wage and tips add up to be more than the minimum wage of $6.55. So even if no one tips, the waitress will still make at least $6.55. Tipping can only make her get paid more than minimum wage.

Another one of these bogus articles?

Suddenly my date is going to think I’m a cheap loser because I don’t tip 20%+? Maybe it’s a good idea to drop her, than, if she’s going to be that materialistic.

I think the problem stems from the fact that the people doing these service jobs tend to be greedy teenagers trying to suck money out of anyway they can so they turned this whole tipping thing in to a bullshit guilt trip. It’s not my responsibility to make sure people are making enough at their jobs to support themselves. I have my own job and my own responsibilities. At a restaurant, if I get good service I tip 15%. If it is anything less than good, I don’t leave anything. I don’t care how many tables they have, how busy they are, how behind the kitchen is. I’m going out to eat to forget about all those responsibilities. I may as well cook my own food at home if I was going to have to take on those responsibilities.

Your pizza delivery example only enforces my opinion in regards to the people performing these jobs are typically lower educated teenagers (not low educated because they’re idiots, just because they haven’t reached a higher level of schooling because of age). People should be doing a good job regardless. Not a revenge thing. If somebody was tipped poorly and they have to serve that same person at another time, don’t you think they should serve them BETTER than last time because apparently they didn’t do good enough job before. But instead, we have restauraunts full of people trying to spit in peoples food because they tipped poor last time. This just goes to show what type of people are working these service jobs. You’re low class if you spit in someones food. Period.

You seem to be confused with the concept of tipping. “Tipping ensures great service”. Whaaat?! It’s the other way around. Great service ensures tipping. If the service was great, it should be tipped. Not if they get a nice tip, respond with great service.

And tipping the take out person? Wow.

You’re forgetting that the service is ALREADY BEING PAID FOR. What did my original bill cover if my tip is also covering it? The bill is covering the service (which INCLUDES waitors waiting on customers), whereas the tip gives an extra little “thanks” if the work was GREAT, not good or sastisfactory.

There’s also a problem with service people thinking that if a person tips bad that the customer is a cheap ass. The service worker seems to be unable to figure out that the low tip was a representation of the service, not him being cheap.

This whole tip argument is annoying. You won’t find me tipping 20%+ for satisfactory service, and believe me, I’m not cheap. I just don’t find it necessary to give my money away to undeserving people. And if you give me nothing but normal service, expect to get normal pay (your salary without a tip from me).

The solution to this problem is that customers need to stop tipping for good/normal/satisfactory service and only tip for EXCELLENT service.

Cheap people will come up with any number of excuses why they don’t need to tip. The bottom line is, in the U.S. certain people get tipped and employers know this which is why the employee makes minimum wage. We are taxed on our hourly wages as if we are being tipped at least 15% in most cases which means if you don’t tip, the service worker is being taxed as if you did. This means that not only are they not making money on the job, they are in fact breaking even or even losing money while they work. That is tantamount to slavery and it’s both morally and legally frowned upon.

Telling someone to get a higher paying job means that people on the very bottom of the socio-economic scale, mostly undocumented workers, will fill the service jobs and those of us who are educated with a good work ethic will go elsewhere to earn a living. This will bring down the overall experience and service you will get at a bar or restaurant. Now if you want a 5th grade drop-out who can’t communicate as your server or bartender then by all means, stop tipping and that’s what you’re going to get because thats the only person who will work for minimum wage. If you are satisfied with the level of service you get at McDonalds or Wallmart, but from a server or bartender instead, by all means, keep your money. Notice that these workers are unable to improvise, make recommendations, provide you with much information on the product, have in depth conversations with you on a wide array of topics, or do much of anything besides take your money in exchange for a product. They may be nice enough people, but little is required of them other than showing up (they are essentially wage slaves and this too must change).

Of course if everyone collectively decided not tip, then the money would need to be made up elsewhere, namely by wages which in turn would increase the price of the item being purchased. In Europe the workers wage is included in the price of the goods and services and accordingly everything costs more. European workers are covered by nationalized health care and additional forms of social programs which prevent even low end workers from falling into total destitution. In the U.S., if you don’t earn enough, you simply are allowed to die. That’s the bottom line. That is the reason why Europeans who don’t tip are treated rudely by U.S. service workers. In the U.S. if you try to unionize you are simply fired and the government will look the other way or the cops will beat you up, particularly if you try to unionize in a large corporation or chain where bribery and payoffs to local law enforcement or provocateurs is common. Not tipping for at least adequate service is, in effect, stealing wages from largely powerless people. The U.S. is not a place where the economy is not completely socially engineered. Theoretically, people are allowed to succeed or fail based on performance. Someone who excels in their profession expects to be paid more than someone who does not. Tipping is an expression of this principal. You don’t give everyone doing the same job the same wage, because this doesn’t encourage excellence or hard work. People will only work hard enough not to get fired and if all they get is minimum wage, how hard will that be? Again, only desperate people will fill a minimum wage job. In most cases, non-tippers will find it difficult to get business owners to reprimand or fire employees for bad service based solely on the complaints of the small number of people who don’t tip and therefore get poor service. If an employee is providing bad service to tippers and non-tippers alike, sales will eventually decline on that workers shift and they will be gone soon enough. Employers in the U.S. expect their staff to work hard but they also understand that there has to be some incentive for that hard work and they would rather ignore the 10% of you that don’t tip than fire an employee who is bringing in tons of cash from the other 90%. They also don’t want to pay higher wages which means if the employee is not making adequate money through tips, they will either ask for a raise, give away drinks to make up the difference, or steal. It’s a well known fact in the bar industry that many a bar-owner gathered together enough principal to buy a bar by stealing when they worked for someone else. Employees who are responsible, earn money for the owner, and are honest are hard to come by and most business owners know this. The chances of a customer getting an employee fired in the service industry is very slim. And why would you want to be the kind of person to get someone fired anyway? That’s someone’s life, and possibly the life of their children you are effecting just for not doing something that you are supposed to do anyway? Again if you are treated rudely by a server, better to just leave than try to get even. The server could be going through some personal problem or gotten some bad news and they were unable to get their shift covered which means if they don’t work, they could get fired. Rarely do people outside of the service industry get fired if they can’t show up because of an emergency or simply because they are sick.

If no one tipped service workers, then the decline in wages would ripple into the rest of the economy. i.e. If I don’t get tipped by Mr. X on a drink, I won’t be able to afford to buy a widget from Mr. Y later in the week. Now Mr. Y is short of cash and can’t afford to buy something from Mr. X. It’s like economic Karma. If you don’t give in this world, pretty soon it will come back to you.

I have an advanced degree. The truth is that bartending pays better than a lot of jobs you can get with a masters degree because 90% of the people out there know they are supposed to tip in the U.S. The 10% of you who don’t tip or tip poorly have any number of reasons that you don’t think you should, but the system isn’t going to change here because you are in such a small minority. This is the same excuse I hear from Europeans who don’t tip at home so they don’t think they have to tip here. When I go to a foreign country, I don’t want to offend the locals so I find out what the customs are and I follow them. If you want great service you have to pay for it. That doesn’t mean you have to tip bad service provided you even know how to identify it. The best way to proceed is to tip well up front, either the first time you go to a restaurant or the first round of drinks you order. If you receive bad service after that, tip less or go somewhere else. I promise you that any server who has held onto a prominent position in a bar or restaurant will take care of customers that tip well right from the start. If I get poor service after tipping well, I take my money elsewhere. But this never happens because servers are going to follow the basic free market principal of reciprocity and help whomever is helping them the most.

One way or another, a vibrant and exciting restaurant, nightclub, or bar scene requires happy and enthused servers. This depends upon people being well payed for their work either through tips or higher wages. One way or another you have to pay for the service. In America, the service is generally not included in the cost of food or liquor. This is the system that we have in place here and the 10% of you who don’t want to play along just appear cheap, ignorant, petty, or inexperienced. Since I deal with so many tourists from other countries, young people, amateurs, etc. I rely on regulars, other service workers, and people in the know for the bulk of my salary. These people are going to be treated better in the form of free drinks, information, feeling included, treated respectfully etc. Non-tippers will receive none of this and should not expect it. Again, you get what you pay for. And minimum wage doesn’t buy much. In closing, it’s much easier in the long run to get with the program and leave an appropriate tip for adequate service. Otherwise you are marked in an establishment by the staff and other patrons as someone who doesn’t know what they are doing or can’t afford to be there. If you are truly broke, leaving something is better than nothing, but generally, if you can’t afford to tip at least a little, you can’t afford to go out.

So, how much would you tip a deck hand / deck master? Any advise on nautical tipping?