Comments on: When Is It Okay for a Man to Cry?

By: Use Your Emotion Toolkit Like a Man

Use Your Emotion Toolkit Like a Man — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:43:13 +0000

[...] to The Art of Manliness, it’s okay for a man to cry when he genuinely feels hurt and he is not using his tears to complain, pity himself, or manipulate [...]

By: Jean-Paul Gagnon

Jean-Paul Gagnon — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:19:40 +0000

I agree in principle with a man having to be in tune with his emotions. Rather than suppressing them, he should be master of them, and not crumble under the complexity emotions may lay on him in trying times. However, should the feeling to weep occur, listen to yourself and try abiding. Goodness knows, it’s probably something like a pressure valve for us lads to let out a different kind of steam you can’t at the gym (or whatever works to get the ‘physical pressure’ out). Finally, I think there is nothing wrong with crying as I suppose it helps a man understand himself better – it enriches the experience of the self like everything else in life.

By: Charles

Charles — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:28:04 +0000

Hmm.. I don’t think under any circumstances is it ok to cry, with the exception of maybe the death of a loved one. As men, it’s our duty to control our emotions, and not let them control us. Out-of-control emotions always lead to disaster, or killing someone.

By: Steve Scarfia

Steve Scarfia — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:35:20 +0000

First off, this is a great article! As always, Brett delivers the goods. With that said, I disagree with Ghost being in the never cry movie list. That movie is just so emotionally charged at the end, whether for the pain of losing a loved one (again, in that case), the acceptence of that loss, or the thoughts and emotions dealing with the prospect of an afterlife.

I also agree with some that Schindler’s List needs to definitely be on the ‘approved’ list as well.

I would also add Pan’s Labyrinth (the ending). Amazingly enough, most of the commenters above added just about ALL of the other movies that I would amend to this list (Forrest Gump, My Life, etc.)

Still an amazing article though Brett. Keep up the good work!

By: Manliness: The Baby and the Bathwater | The Art of Manliness

Manliness: The Baby and the Bathwater | The Art of Manliness — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:39:24 +0000

[...] comfort or understanding from her husband, only to be met with stony silence. Men today are free to cry when it’s appropriate, openly show love to their family and friends, and acknowledge their feelings and passions. Some [...]

By: Okie

Okie — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:16:13 +0000

My grandmother once told me that the only time she ever knew my grandfather to cry was when he had just heard on the radio that Will Rogers had just been killed in a plane crash …

By: The Weekly Round-Up: September 12, 2009 | The Art of Manliness

The Weekly Round-Up: September 12, 2009 | The Art of Manliness — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:47:37 +0000

[...] When Is It Okay for a Man to Cry? [...]

By: Evan

Evan — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 19:55:29 +0000

When should a man cry!?

When he is moved to tears! Duh!

My husband doesn’t cry frequently, but he does for all different kinds of reasons – either a good, satsifying, or a sad, satisfying ending of a movie…because of difficult interpersonal relationships, frustration, like if we’re having a bad fight (which doesn’t happen often, because we’re very in touch with our feelings!) Out of love – he cried when he proposed to me, and cried at our wedding ceremony. His tears make him incredibly attractive to me as someone I’d want to spend my life with – a man who is not in touch with his emotions, will not be able to express love or joy, either. You can’t turn off one emotion without turning them all off.

Sometimes it’s just plain inhuman for a man NOT to cry. He and I sometimes get misty-eyed when we see footage of 9/11, for example. It’s APPROPRIATE to cry at something devastating like that!

So go ahead! Cry when you feel moved to, and don’t when you don’t. The women in your life will not judge you. In fact, we’ll probably respect you more.

By: Sam

Sam — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:27:12 +0000

I second the request for a George Bailey article, but wait until the holiday season. One of the few movies that consistently makes me cry.

By: TheWarHam

TheWarHam — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:02:36 +0000

I give a definite yes to all the movies, especially the war movies… But Amen to Its A Wonderful LIfe, that is a true manly tear-jerker.

By: Graham

Graham — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:58:39 +0000

I didn’t see my dad cry often. I remember when one of the young men in our church (19 years old) died suddenly. As the pastor my dad spent the morning with the family, very close friends for many years, at the hospital. He came home for a shower and change of clothes around lunch time because he had been woken up and rushed out that morning. He walked into the kitchen and gave me the biggest hug I can remember and sobbed like a baby. He had been brave all morning, strong for the family, supportive. A few stray tears on his cheek. He had been a strong man, friend and pastor – now, he was a father grateful for his family.

I am going to be a father in Sept. I am so blessed to have such an example. My kids will have an example of what a man should be because I had an example.

Paul’s death was a very difficult time for me. It was the first time I really experienced death. He was my friend, guitar teacher and mentor – but the biggest lesson I took out of this came from my dad. In that day I saw a man be strong when others needed him. I saw him be completely vulnerable with his family. I saw him experience extreme emotion at the though that the same thing may one day happen to him – and I have never known as strongly that my dad loves me.

His single tears in the morning showed support and care – his sobbing in the afternoon showed his love.

I believe a real man MUST cry.

By: Peach

Peach — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:39:17 +0000

I agree with almost everything, except for “Not to cry” # 5. When you’re frustrated. Crying because your overwhelmed and don’t know what to do is a cop out. You don’t have the strength to think of a solution, so you cry so you don’t have to think at all. Man up and figure out your next move. – I think that depends, obviously if you cry and give up, ok, it’s a cop-out, but sometimes crying helps to relieve the stress / frustration and allows you to look at the problem more calmly and rationally afterward.

Also, I agree with John’s #11, all tears of pride for children and grandchildren’s big moments should be included.

By: laila

laila — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:09:19 +0000

Yes I agree. guys can have their emotional moments or times when they just cry but to be overly sensitive is not cool. like if my boyfriend were to share some tough things hes been through in his life and he gets teary i would be fine but if he cried about little things I don’t even cry about, he should just suck it up. Also I think it is steryeotypical and sexist to say girls cry more than men because everyone has different ways of dealing with pain and sadness and I for one don’t cry very much at all but it does build up into a big blow-up over small things but the thing is men do that too so we shouldnt get all weird about crying, its ok and if we all just move on, there wouldnt be problems with it.

By: Eric Ebacher

Eric Ebacher — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 05:54:08 +0000

Of course, it’s okay for a man to cry; there are certain times where it is okay, such as when he loses his wife/girlfriend or a child(ren), or when he goes to see certain tearjerker movies; one such example of anything making me cry happened when I was about 17 years old; one Sunday, I was sitting in church with my grandmother, and the preacher at her church asked if anyone wanted to give their life to or back to the Lord. I raised my hand, and as I did, a tear ran down my face, because I had never truly taken God or His word seriously up until that point in my life. About a year later, I was sitting in a movie theater in my home town with a group of kids I was going to school with at that time, and during the last 30-35 minutes or more of the film, which was appropriately titled “A Walk to Remember”, I actually began to feel tears roll down my face, because this film was actually so good and extremely heartwarming. In fact, that night when I got home, I could still feel tears running down my face, though not as much or as hard as during the film or on the way home after the movie was over. So, definitely, yes, there are times when it is okay for a man to cry.

By: Ross Buchanan

Ross Buchanan — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 03:09:01 +0000

I reckon One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest should be on your film list – damn good show always sad