Comments on: When Is It Okay for a Man to Cry?

By: Okie

Okie — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 05:16:13 +0000

My grandmother once told me that the only time she ever knew my grandfather to cry was when he had just heard on the radio that Will Rogers had just been killed in a plane crash …

By: The Weekly Round-Up: September 12, 2009 | The Art of Manliness

The Weekly Round-Up: September 12, 2009 | The Art of Manliness — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:47:37 +0000

[...] When Is It Okay for a Man to Cry? [...]

By: Evan

Evan — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 19:55:29 +0000

When should a man cry!?

When he is moved to tears! Duh!

My husband doesn’t cry frequently, but he does for all different kinds of reasons – either a good, satsifying, or a sad, satisfying ending of a movie…because of difficult interpersonal relationships, frustration, like if we’re having a bad fight (which doesn’t happen often, because we’re very in touch with our feelings!) Out of love – he cried when he proposed to me, and cried at our wedding ceremony. His tears make him incredibly attractive to me as someone I’d want to spend my life with – a man who is not in touch with his emotions, will not be able to express love or joy, either. You can’t turn off one emotion without turning them all off.

Sometimes it’s just plain inhuman for a man NOT to cry. He and I sometimes get misty-eyed when we see footage of 9/11, for example. It’s APPROPRIATE to cry at something devastating like that!

So go ahead! Cry when you feel moved to, and don’t when you don’t. The women in your life will not judge you. In fact, we’ll probably respect you more.

By: Sam

Sam — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 02:27:12 +0000

I second the request for a George Bailey article, but wait until the holiday season. One of the few movies that consistently makes me cry.

By: TheWarHam

TheWarHam — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 07:02:36 +0000

I give a definite yes to all the movies, especially the war movies… But Amen to Its A Wonderful LIfe, that is a true manly tear-jerker.

By: Graham

Graham — Fri, 01 May 2009 06:58:39 +0000

I didn’t see my dad cry often. I remember when one of the young men in our church (19 years old) died suddenly. As the pastor my dad spent the morning with the family, very close friends for many years, at the hospital. He came home for a shower and change of clothes around lunch time because he had been woken up and rushed out that morning. He walked into the kitchen and gave me the biggest hug I can remember and sobbed like a baby. He had been brave all morning, strong for the family, supportive. A few stray tears on his cheek. He had been a strong man, friend and pastor – now, he was a father grateful for his family.

I am going to be a father in Sept. I am so blessed to have such an example. My kids will have an example of what a man should be because I had an example.

Paul’s death was a very difficult time for me. It was the first time I really experienced death. He was my friend, guitar teacher and mentor – but the biggest lesson I took out of this came from my dad. In that day I saw a man be strong when others needed him. I saw him be completely vulnerable with his family. I saw him experience extreme emotion at the though that the same thing may one day happen to him – and I have never known as strongly that my dad loves me.

His single tears in the morning showed support and care – his sobbing in the afternoon showed his love.

I believe a real man MUST cry.

By: Peach

Peach — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 21:39:17 +0000

I agree with almost everything, except for “Not to cry” # 5. When you’re frustrated. Crying because your overwhelmed and don’t know what to do is a cop out. You don’t have the strength to think of a solution, so you cry so you don’t have to think at all. Man up and figure out your next move. – I think that depends, obviously if you cry and give up, ok, it’s a cop-out, but sometimes crying helps to relieve the stress / frustration and allows you to look at the problem more calmly and rationally afterward.

Also, I agree with John’s #11, all tears of pride for children and grandchildren’s big moments should be included.

By: laila

laila — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:09:19 +0000

Yes I agree. guys can have their emotional moments or times when they just cry but to be overly sensitive is not cool. like if my boyfriend were to share some tough things hes been through in his life and he gets teary i would be fine but if he cried about little things I don’t even cry about, he should just suck it up. Also I think it is steryeotypical and sexist to say girls cry more than men because everyone has different ways of dealing with pain and sadness and I for one don’t cry very much at all but it does build up into a big blow-up over small things but the thing is men do that too so we shouldnt get all weird about crying, its ok and if we all just move on, there wouldnt be problems with it.

By: Eric Ebacher

Eric Ebacher — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 05:54:08 +0000

Of course, it’s okay for a man to cry; there are certain times where it is okay, such as when he loses his wife/girlfriend or a child(ren), or when he goes to see certain tearjerker movies; one such example of anything making me cry happened when I was about 17 years old; one Sunday, I was sitting in church with my grandmother, and the preacher at her church asked if anyone wanted to give their life to or back to the Lord. I raised my hand, and as I did, a tear ran down my face, because I had never truly taken God or His word seriously up until that point in my life. About a year later, I was sitting in a movie theater in my home town with a group of kids I was going to school with at that time, and during the last 30-35 minutes or more of the film, which was appropriately titled “A Walk to Remember”, I actually began to feel tears roll down my face, because this film was actually so good and extremely heartwarming. In fact, that night when I got home, I could still feel tears running down my face, though not as much or as hard as during the film or on the way home after the movie was over. So, definitely, yes, there are times when it is okay for a man to cry.

By: Ross Buchanan

Ross Buchanan — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 03:09:01 +0000

I reckon One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest should be on your film list – damn good show always sad

By: John R

John R — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 23:40:30 +0000

Forest Gump: When he is talking to Jennie at her grave site gets me every time.
I am a crier. I have lost loved ones; have been hurt so many times and in so many ways in my 42 years of Life. My very Best Friend, Jesus Christ has comforted me through it all. He has also wept with me and for me. There is a Bible Scripture that plainly tells us to ” rejoice with those who are rejoicing and weep those who are weeping.” Romans 12:15
If you need to cry….cry; but remember not to purposely make others cry.
If your crying keeps you from performing in a life and death situation…save it for later. You can do this!
If someone is depending on you to be strong…then be strong. Cry later.

By: John

John — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 20:13:35 +0000

I have recently been very disappointed in the apparent trend of male (especially high school/college) athletes crying when they lose. I’m not talking about a discreet tear or two, either. I have even seen almost entire teams blubbering like schoolgirls over their misfortune. Buck up, guys! Grow a set! Who taught them that this is acceptable? Is this a result of the lack of REAL men raising boys today? They’ve been told way too much that they DESERVE to win. I got news for you. You only deserve to win if you’re better than your opponent. My daughters cry less on the field. Shameful…

By: kasper

kasper — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:10:55 +0000

Hmmm… I honestly do my best in striving for manliness, I really do, I shave with a vintage safety razor, have an old-school haircut, advocate the use of pen-knives to eat apples and open envelopes etc… But lately I do find myself getting a bit blubbery and teary-eyed in more movies than I’d like-

Firstly- and I defy anyone not to not only cry big man-tears for the whole last part of the film, but also to be in a bit of a funk for a good few days afterwards, and get choked up at the thought of it- Grave of the Fireflies. This one should definitely be added to your list. It’s a Japanese animation from Studio Ghibli who brought you the likes of Spirited Away, but it’s not at all fantastical. It’s just about a boy and his little sister in Japan in WWII and it is too sad to think about. Apparently they play it once a year in Japan on national crying day.

Rather less excusable is crying, as I did, at the end of the recent Peter Jackson version of King Kong, just at the injustice of it all… That poor ape was an innocent I tell you…

By: Brett Chapman

Brett Chapman — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 05:18:51 +0000

I have another two movies that get me every time…

Mr Holland’s Opus – where they play his music for him.

and this one I am embarassed about…

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith. I cannot get through the Order 66 scenes without tears on my cheeks.. For someone who grew up with Jedi’s and also having read all the comics, all the books related, to see them butchered by their own… Stupid bloody movies… One day I will get past that bit…

By: Lessons in Manliness from It’s a Wonderful Life | The Art of Manliness

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 05:09:15 +0000

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