The Man’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage Proposal
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Asking for a woman’s hand in marriage is one of the most important things a man will do in his life. Therefore, a good deal of consideration should be put into the timing and setting of this event. You are certain that she is the one, and have gone ahead with asking for her father’s blessing of your proposal, solidifying her family’s approval of the union. Now that has been done, and you are ready to propose marriage to your future wife.
There are a few things you must keep in mind when contemplating the way that you will propose marriage to your lady. First, this is a memorable moment, which will be told and retold over the years to your friends, family, children, and grandchildren. Make it a story worth telling. Secondly, every woman is different; make your proposal specific to her taste and personality. Some women would love nothing more than to have all their friends and family be witness to the event, while others would much prefer a private and intimate moment with you alone. First and foremost, make sure the way in which you ask makes her comfortable.
Finally, Like many romantic displays, a marriage proposal that seems cliché to one woman is a dream come true for another. This must be left to your personal discretion. However, kneeling in front of your lady with a ring and a rose, whatever the setting may be, is timeless. The following are some tried and true methods for a man proposing marriage to his love.
The First Meeting Place Proposal
Show your lady that you remember and appreciate the little details of your relationship. Taking her to the place where you first met will let her know how grateful you are to have found her. That special location has proven a solid foundation for the first half of your relationship and is an especially symbolic and appropriate location to ask her to spend the rest of her life with you.
The Parisian Proposal
If you have the time and means, ask her the most important question of her life in the most romantic city in the world: Paris. Avoid locations where tourists dwell; rather, choose a place that is quiet and quaint, as that is the true beauty of the city. A dimly lit café or restaurant, or a remote spot on the banks of the Seine is a perfect setting for a romantic proposal.
The Natural Proposal
If your wife-to-be loves the outdoors, employ the help of some of God’s natural creation. Hiding the ring somewhere for her to find on a hike you both enjoy can make for an exciting and meaningful discovery along the trail. Also, asking her to be your wife underneath a waterfall or at the top of a cliff will provide an awe-inspiring view and add a dramatic effect to the moment.
The Valentine’s Day Proposal
However you may choose to propose, February 14th is a great day to do it. While she will expect a certain amount of romance already, your proposal of marriage will far exceed her expectations for the day. It will make for the best Valentine’s Day your future fiancé will ever have and ensure it as a memorable date for you both in years to come.
The Spell-It-Out Proposal
Write it out for her, but make it grand. There is no better way to get her attention than to write your marriage proposal across the sky. Hire a plane to spell it in smoke, or carry behind it a banner with your offer. She will be both entertained and impressed that you have announced your love for all to see. If you don’t have the means, or you want to make it more personal, write it in the sand while at the beach.
The Weekend Getaway Proposal
Disguise your proposal behind another occasion, such as a vacation or her birthday. Take a trip to the country and get out of town for the weekend. You will be able to enjoy your time alone together, and she will remain unsuspecting. After a great weekend together, asking her if she would like to spend the rest of her life with you will be the grand finale.
The High Seas Proposal
There is nothing like the serenity and solitude of being on a boat surrounded by a vast body of water. Charter a boat with just the two of you, or plan a cruise to a tropical location. This will provide an intimate setting where you can express undying love for your lovely lady. If you want seclusion during your proposal, this is the place to do it. A sailboat is the most romantic option, but make sure you know what you are doing, as popping the question on a U.S. Coast Guard rescue dinghy lacks the desired effect.
The Elemental Proposal
Use the weather to your advantage. Take your special someone to the mountains and propose to her in the snow. If you can execute the timing to perfection, surprise her with the question just as the snow begins to fall. A walk through the city streets at night in the rain is equally beautiful. For added dramatic effect, disregard personal comfort and kneel in the water. She will see that you are concerned with nothing but her at that moment.
The Spontaneous Proposal
Once you know that she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, let her know right then and there. Tell her that you cannot wait another minute to know if she shares the same feeling for you. She will be struck by your passion for her and your certainty that she is the only one for you. This is a perfect option for the adventurous romantic, so make sure your lady is not a traditionalist.
The Overnight Proposal
If you are more of the silent type, slip the ring on your love’s finger while she is sleeping. You don’t have to say a word. She will wake up to the best surprise of her life sitting on her hand. Be sure to be near when she shrieks with glee upon noticing her new jewelry in the morning.
Written by Ross Crooks and Jason Lankow
How did you propose to the love of your life? Share your romantic tale with us.
I strongly dis-agree with the V-Day proposal, i find it highly over rated and a cop-out just like doing it on new years eve or Christmas. I think the only holiday (if you must do it on a holiday) that is acceptable is Thanksgiving. Why you ask, well it is centered around family and what will you be doing with this women? That doesnt mean you have to ask in front of your family but maybe while taking a walk after dinner or before.
I have to say the overnight proposal is probably the riskiest, though, really, all of these should only be attempted if you know she’ll say yes in the first place.
Maybe some would find it strange, but I personally didn’t make a formal proposal. About 2-3 months of dating, we started to mention in our conversations that we just should stay together the whole life…afterwards, sometimes my wife would refer to me as “my future husband”. After some more months, we went to a local church office and applied for marriage (but I asked for parent’s approval before that).
When my wife and I were dating, she mentioned that she’d like to be proposed to at a specific place. Unfortunately, she moved out of the state not long after. I followed her (intent on reeling her in and brining her back). She had a snowglobe with a model of the place she wanted the proposal. We went hiking one day, and without her knowing it, I hid the snowglobe in my backpack. As we were hiking, I secretly brought it out and placed it behind her, got down on one knee, and the rest is pretty standard.
Whenever she tells it, she always cries.
Needless to say, the best advice is make it memorable. Nobody wants to have a lame proposal story.
Note: You PROBABLY shouldn’t use the “First Meeting Place Proposal” if you met your wife at a bar……
Just for Clarification. =)
I did the “natural” option. We hiked a peak, and I brought champagne and OJ in a thermos. I did get down on one knee — with her holding me up so I wouldn’t fall backward off the rocks!
What I *didn’t* do was hide the ring in anything. Besides the danger of her chipping a tooth on it (!), or me losing it…since it wasn’t a heirloom, I wanted her to help pick out one she’d like. To my surprise, Emily Post and Miss Manners agreed: the proposal is about asking the question, and the ring can come later.
Friend of mine proposed to his wife, a schoolteacher, by getting her class to hold up letters to spell out WILL YOU MARRY ME.
Slipping the ring on the finger late at night and waking up to shrieks might scare her more than the simple marriage proposal. She might wake up and say “What happened to me last night? OMG OMG OMG!” Well that’s how I would picture it if i did it that way.
Great article and the principles are surely key to fully winning a woman’s heart - I mean she needs a story to brag to her girlfriends about. Special is everything!
You can listen to couples tell their own stories on my site:
http://makelovereal.net/category/multimedia/
And look for a nice ping back to you here in a couple days!
I met me wife to be in my Sunday School class. It was my second week back after being away for a few years and her first time visiting the church after she moved to the area to attend school.
We were courting 4 months later, and engaged just over a year after we met.
After courting for 7 months, we were at a point of having to decide whether to get married this year or wait for her to finish school, 2-1/2 years distant.
We chose this year and confirmed that on Valentines’ Day, I asked her that day to marry me, but I did not have a ring, so we weren’t really “engaged” and it was just a sweet time of quietly considering the future together.
I purchased the ring from a jeweler who attends my church and had it within 2 weeks of Valentines’ Day. He delivered it to me that Sunday and I was casting about in my mind how I might make this extra special. I was trying to decide whether to make it something special (downtown Chicago has many beautiful locations and vistas) or somewhere we’d be regularly and could remember fondly.
She did not know I had the ring yet.
I settled on frequent.
She was attending school in Downtown Chicago, but I decided that it were better to do it somewhere we were close to emotionally.
Which worked perfectly.
I always open her doors for her, and so as we walked out to the nearly empty parking lot, and I opened her car door, she got in and sat down, reaching around to put her things in the back seat. I positioned myself down nearly on a knee (the ground was wet) and when she turned around I had the ring out and the question on my tongue.
She was not expecting it then, by any means. It was a few feet from where we had first met and not much further from where we’d really got to know each other. And it was somewhere special to us.
I had no idea I was doing it right.
I don’t like how some guys these days are hiring a photographer or cameraman to sneak around and hide and then jump out during the proposal to tape the whole thing. Why must everything be recorded these days? To me, a proposal is something really intimate, and should be seared in your memory, not burned on a DVD.
I am approaching seven years of marital bliss with my second wife. We have never fought, not while we were dating, not after I gave her a ring, and not once in these years have we fought. (We have disagreed, and that is a different issue.)
How did I propose? I didn’t.
She was going to Germany for a month, and I wanted to give her something as a remembrance, so I bought a ring. I put it on her finger in the car.
When she got back, we started pre-marriage counciling at our church and decided the ring was our engagement ring.
The closest I came to actually proposing was after our weekly swing dance lesson, and I said “we should hire Brian (a friend of ours) to teach swing after the wedding.”
At some point, we both assumed we would get married. It was all a matter of scheduling.
Personally, if it were me being proposed to, the overnight one would end badly. Even if I would say yes otherwise, being asked is a big part. It seems presumptuous that the man would place it on her finger without first asking her… if I woke up and found a ring on my finger I would actually be more angry than pleased.
The rest of these are cute though.
My wife and I talked about getting married but she still wanted to be surprised and romanced at the proposal. Her parents lived in Kenya for a couple of years. After we had been dating for about as long, her and I visited for two weeks.
The house was in Kisumu, right on Lake Victoria and the sunsets were unreal. There was a veranda on the second floor overlooking the lake. A few days before we were set to leave, her parents left the house for the evening. The Indian restaurant down the street brought a rad meal for us to eat at a set table on the veranda. By the time the sun was setting we had finished eating and so I got on my knee and asked.
It was bad to the bone.
I just proposed two weeks ago. We went on a romantic picnic, but I conveniently forgot the drinks, so I ran back to the car. When I came back I had changed into some nicer clothes and was carrying a large bag. I kneeled down in front of her, and pulled out eleven roses,one at a time. With each rose, I gave a reason I loved her. Then I told her when the twelfth and final rose died, is when my love for her would cease. I pulled out a stainless steel rose that I had forged for her. Then I asked her to marry me. She said yes.
Westley that’s awesome. “My love for you is made of STAINLESS STEEL, BABY!”
My wife loves stuffed animals, so I went to Build-A-Bear workshop and made a white bear with blue nose wearing a tuxedo. I then took the ring, in requisite black velvet box, and wire tied it to the bear’s hand. I gave it to her as a Christmas present. The bear’s name on it’s birth certificate was “Merry Me Sunshine” (Sunshine being my nickname for my wife.) Her yes was immediate and passionate.
I should also mention, shortly after she said yes, we returned to Build-A-Bear and made a white teddy with pink nose wearing a wedding dress. My wife named her “Iwilla Mylove”.
I should note that the above Brett is not me. My proposal involved a play and a park, but no teddy bears.
I had a very elaborate plan, with a small flaw, but it worked out regardless.
First off, my wife’s name is Monica. After Monica and I discussed getting married, and decided that when the time was right, we would get married. I asked her father and mother, who both approved wholeheartedly, and then I hatched a plan. I gave her a lilly (her favorite flower) and told her I would give her 12 lillies, and after the 12th, I would propose. I gave her a surprise lilly every few days/weeks or so until I got to 6. I decided it was taking too long, and wanted to surprise her with a proposal.
We live in Austin, and the plan was this:
* Dinner at Cheesecake Factory
* Ice cream at Amy’s Ice Cream
* A stroll through the park nearby where she would “discover” a bouquet of six lillies, after which I would drop to a knee and propose.
The flaw in the plan is that if you eat dinner at Cheesecake Factory, you don’t go to Amy’s for ice cream afterwords. You have dessert there. Duh! When Monica said she didn’t want to go to Amy’s, I had a small tinge of panic, and changed the plan. We went next door to Barnes & Nobles, and I called my friend Chris. The plan was to have Chris put the flowers out as we were buying the ice cream and then hide. I told Chris we had nixed the ice cream, and were at B&N about to head over. He said he would text me when the trap was set. We looked at some books, got the text, and we were off.
I didn’t realize at the time, but I was a bit eager, and practically dragged Monica to the spot where the flowers waited for us. Monica stopped to look at some other flowers, to which I said “How about these?” She saw the flowers, instantly knew what they meant, and started crying. I dropped to a knee, proposed, and she immediately said yes. Unbeknownst to us, we had an audience, who all cheered and clapped. Chris popped out from around a tree, yelled “Surprise!” and took our picture. When Chris dropped off the flowers, he told someone nearby “Some guy is about to appear with a woman and propose. These flowers are part of the proposal, so please don’t disturb them.” That’s how we got the audience. The people nearby heard the message, and stuck around for the festivities.
I wanted Monica to have a romantic story to tell people about our proposal that was original. The slight twist with the dessert made the whole scenario even more romantic, and she loves to tell the story whenever someone asks.
I go to pick up a ring this afternoon…
I had planned a hike up a local mountain for a picnic lunch and a proposal. However, the weekend before she was running a two day programming competition at the college where she teaches, and she came down with the flu. I was taking care of her, and had gone out to get her Chinese Penicillin (Hot and Sour Soup).
We had been dating a couple of months when I decided she was the one, but she must have read my mind because she mentioned her 90-day rule. No major relationship decisions until after 90 days.
Even though it wasn’t quite ninety days, I couldn’t stand it any more and asked if she’d marry me. She was completely shocked and said if I could propose while she looked like Death warmed over I must really love her, and she said yes.
When I tell that story I usually add that I realized I’d never find her more physically or psychologically vulnerable. I wouldn’t recommend such a short period of dating normally, but I was 50, she was 46. We know who we are and we had chemistry from the moment we met. We’ve been married for four years and each of us learned many lessons from our starter marriages. We’ve had moments of friction but no arguments. We’ve realized most marital arguments are to decide who’s right. We take the approach of “How can we solve this problem to our mutual satisfaction?”
It’s made all the difference.
Disney World. Fireworks. Hot Chocolate.
Write that down.
Be careful you might miss more and more opportunities…….
…………………………..
Nishantha
mens dress shirt better solution for any one
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When I proposed to my lady-friend I took the ‘nature’ option. We went on a cross country hike and took the ring with me. We got to her favourite place, a little woodland village named Rivendell, and I pulled out the ring and proposed to her.
Turns out though that the ring was the source of a dark lord’s power and I then had to embark on a perilous quest to cast the ring into the flames of Mount Doom. Also she said no.
I got pregnant, unplanned. My boyfriend simply said to me “let’s get married” while we were sitting on the couch. I could not tell if he was being serious or not and turns out he was (or so he says). What a great proposal, not even a hug, not even holding my hands while he said “let’s get married”. Now I don’t even want to marry him because he really disappointed me with such a crappy way of asking me to marry him. It hurts me so much.
You have GOT to be kidding me … where do I begin??? I think I’m gonna barf. This could take a while to explain. Are you even a guy? If so - have you been married before??? WTF??? ha ha
Love is a cycle. It goes up and down - just like everything in life (like stocks, real estate, etc.) Marriage is the #1 cause of divorce. Be careful - don’t overthink things … and don’t rush into marriage - no!!! Just wait until you have been “around the block” a few times … stuff like what you have written here won’t even enter your mind!!! But the innocence I see in your writing is sweet - reminds me of me in my mid-twenties … ha ha. Good luck to you!!! OMG!!!
Greg Smith, Founder
http://www.midlifebachelor.com
Thanks, John Lo, for giving me a good chuckle.
I took the sneaky approach when I popped the question. My girlfriend had suggested that we go have lunch at a restaurant she liked in a small town along the Missouri River some distance north of the city. I have my private pilot’s license, and the town has a small airport, so I suggested that we fly, stuff our bikes in the back of the rented Cessna, and ride the short distance to the restaurant. (yes, two bikes can be crammed in the back of a Cessna 172) She thought that would be a great idea and planned the whole day out. But after lunch along the river I pulled out the ring. She was totally blindsided!
By the way, she did say yes, and has repeated the story time after time to her girlfriends. My original idea was to propose in the air, but I decided I had enough to think about up there and it would be safer to do it on the ground.
@ Gregory- Thanks for comment. However, I think you might actually be a 14 year old girl disguised as a “midlife bachelor.” The only people I know who use OMG and excessive amounts of exclamation points in their internet communication are my 14 year old cousin and her little friends.
Brett - at some point in the future, you will know what I am talking about. Good luck to you!
Great article! I’ve got to suggest a few additions, though, namely “Plan B” and “Improvise.” Robert Burns’ comment on the planning capabilities of men and mice holds true, even during marriage proposals. Even the best planned proposal can go awry, and men would do well to have a Plan B which is simple enough to be foolproof. By the time I finally completed the deed on the day of my intended proposal to my wife, I was on Plan F, and in my nervousness at repeated failures I had forgotten my eloquent speech. When I finally got the words out, stammered as they were, the ring box stuck inexplicably in my pocket and I forgot to kneel.
Plan yes! But don’t be afraid to improvise if it all falls to shambles.
Marriage, How do I say anything about marriage without any experience?
………………….
Nishantha
Social Media Marketing
My husband proposed to me in a variation of the first meeting place proposal. We met in school when we were like eight when our teacher put us together for this treasure/scavenger hunt thing (the grand prize was popsicles).
I was picking up my niece, who went to the same school we had gone to, and brought Charlie (my now-husband) with me. I went in my niece’s classroom while Charlie opted to stay outside, and upon exiting noticed that Charlie was gone.
I then got a text message clue, which brought me to the classroom we had first met in, and there were flowers outside. I began to get excited.
I then got another text message clue, which brought me to the cafeteria, and there were chocolates outside. I began to get REALLY excited.
I got a final clue, which led me to the teacher’s lounge. (which was the same room it had been 15 years ago- who knew?) The freezer door was open (just as it had been when we won the scavenger hunt thing 15 years ago), but instead of popsicles, this time the grand prize was a black ring box. I opened it, and it was empty. I began to despair- someone had stolen the ring? and turned around. There was Charlie, holding the ring, on one knee. (can’t you tell I’ve told this story a thousand times to anyone who would listen?)
Along with a romantic proposal, I believe a ring which suits the recipient and is beautiful is just as important.
I am an advocate for a sentimental proposal like the one I received- even though it does call for the right circumstances and the right relationship, (if you met at a bar, you can’t very well do something like this and produce the same effect, can you?) how can you say no to a proposal that took this much planning?
Great post. Now can you write one about how to pick the perfect ring?