I see a generation of emerging “adults” who are still children in every sense of the word. They can’t care for themselves and they can’t think for themselves. It’s sickening.

GREAT article!

The problem, of course, is when this stuff DOESN’T apply and parents get caught up in it and can’t see the forest for the trees. When I was younger, my parents used to do this alot. They got wrapped up in “teaching me a lesson” when I had already learned the lesson and I now needed help.

Most of these points I agree with. Just keep in mind that they are means to an end. You do these things so your kid can grow up a healthy and happy adult. Parenting rules, regardless of what they are, should never be an end in of themselves.

I currently enjoy a very healthy relationship with my parents based on mutual respect. I think that my parents did a bang up job in raising me, they seem to have struck a good balance between, keeping me in line and safe while allowing me enough space to learn on my own. I here people I grow up with saying all the time how much they hate their parents and I could never really understand it, but it’s the modern parenting style… let everything go and keep them safe on a tight leash, instead of discipline and freedom to experience life.

As far as disciplining your children goes IMO hitting is only a last resort. Period. You can discipline effectively with out ever striking you child. I’ve been through my whole life only having been hit once. As I said before its only in very extreme cases where a sharp slap is not only permisable but is nessessary, and thats safety.

The only time I was ever hit, and I fully commend my father for doing, it was as a last resort. When I was very young, 3 or 4 I would try to run into the street, my father try several time to get me to stop but I wouldn’t listen, one sharp slap on the behind later and little me stayed out of the road. Once again the only time violence is acceptable is if it will prevent something more harmful from occuring.

The other thing parents these days don’t seem to realize is that if you yell at your kids all the time they are doing to tune you out, plain and simple. Pick your battles and yell only when the situation needs it, if you use it sparingly you can really scare the crap out of your kids, because it’s unexpected. It’s always more effective to go with the more dramatic aproach. Quiet intensity, think about any movie you’ve seen with a really effective villain. All you do instead of yelling is pause and stare at your kids… then in a lowered voice with a lot of intensity tell them the consequences they’ll face if they don’t stop the behavior. I used to use this all the time as a camp leader, it’s much more effective than yelling, try it out… it’ll save your voice and is much more subtle particulary in public than yelling.

The modern parent just doesn’t know how to stike a balance, they either praise there children for everything they do, or flip out at them over everything they do wrong… it just isn’t healthy.

Also I feel it’s extreemly important that kids learn the value of a hard earned dollar at a young age. Had my first job at the tender age of 10 (I time kept hockey), It’ll grow hair on their chast and make them feel like a real man. 10 might be a bit extreme but I wanted to make some money, so my parents helped me get one. But a child over the age of 14 with out a job IMO is a bumb.. ok maybe thats a bit extreme but it’s not going to kill them to work 1 or 2 shifts a week at the local super market. Plus they’ll apreciate being able to spend their own money, far more rewarding than spending dad’s. The other thing that is good for learning about money is getting your kids to pay for stuff they really want but don’t need once they start working or if they don’t have the money ethier agree to pay half or loan it to them (this method taught me to stay out of debt right quick.) My experience with this method is as follows, when I was 12 or 13 one of my friends at school wanted to start a band so my dad rented me a bass and amp and got me some lessons. I practiced and liked it so I wanted to get my own bass, so my dad took me down to the local music store and I tried some out and picked one I liked (if you don’t know instruments are expensive) so I didn’t have the funs to by it. So we worked out an agreement that he would pay half and loan me the rest. This worked well, through this experience I got the money thing.

All this is just my opinion and yes I’m only 20 but I thought I’d give the perspective of someone who has grown up resently with this problem. So take it for what it is. YMMV.

Good on you!

It is hard as a parent to do these things stated in the article. You always want your childrent to have better than you did as a kid. But the do have to learn. My kid wanted to stay inside on a nice day. I made he and his buddy get up and go outside and called his friends parents to make them stay out of their house as well.

Anyway, great article. Old school values are still relevant today.