The tips being mentioned on how to win parents’ heart as you want to ask their daughter’s hand for settling down are very good as this will be the start of the foundation you want to build with the bride’s family to be in good terms on both sides.

I really do admire men who knows how to ask for blessings from the bride’s sides because it means sincerity and respects the girl’s family so much.

You also demonstrate you are able to go man-to-man with someone older, and, yes, be declined. Take it like a man, and ask why if that happens. Listen to the answer and counter with one of your own. If she is worth fighting for, or waiting for, she is worth marrying.

If he gives the ok, good job, dude. Take care of her, give her as many children as she wants, pray all the time.

fundamentally, in biologic history man has protected the woman and woman has civilized the man. the asking has to do with the woman moving from the man’s protection to the future husband’s. It has nothing to do with property. (and notice the woman’s power in this arrangement)

can’t wait for the name-calling regarding my opinion … about how misogynist and backward it is, ‘chauvinist, insensitive, and inappropriate’,… respondents reasoning out of their own little experience, and protected by social systems that allow them to delude themselves. but it’s the truth.

oh, and what does ’sexist’ mean? To me, it means recognizing the differences between the two. Thus only a fool could fail to be sexist.

(tip: if your future father-in-law is not the kind that can be asked, you should consider long and hard whether you should be interlinking with that other family web. not saying it won’t work, just that you are defying the odds).

then finally, why are women who are ‘independent’ and self-sufficient bothering to read this men’s site? why should they care? and commenting to correct the author? mebbe they have a few control issues of their own?

I told my fiancee that if he wanted to marry me, then he would have to ask BOTH my parents for a blessing. I’m not sure why the mother is left out seeing as how she’s the one that had your bride to be in the first place. I personally think it’s sexist to ask the father for permission. Just ask the parents for a blessing and move on. There are women that don’t mind the asking a man for permission to be property to another man, but there are some women that are independent and don’t belong to any man.

I would say waiting for him to visit you is fine if you’re not in a hurry.

“That and how long after asking her for her hand is acceptable?”

Could you clarify what you mean here?

OK, forgive my snarkiness, wonderful article, and I think it is a wonderful tradition. I am curious though, my gal’s parents live 6 hours away, and he visits here much more frequently then i visit there (never have). Would it be acceptable to wait for a visit and as him then? That and how long after asking her for her hand is acceptable?

We know it has worked for some. He possibly is the right guy but given her track record want them to wait a bit longer and also be considerate of her younger sister and not jump the cue! We dont understand why there is a need to rush things.

It was difficult not to give our blessing and we feel somewhat disappointed that we have been robbed of the opportunity to be happy…if only they would wait…its just too early. Our daughter is missing out on being able to share this what should be happy time. We’re pretty sure that everyone she announces to will also have concerns. Everyone will miss out on being happy for them and naturally, they wont be happy either.

We dont know what to do from here.