Let’s say you’re out with your buddies (or maybe a lovely young lady) having a good time, when all of a sudden some jackass shoves you. You didn’t do anything to instigate the guy, but it doesn’t matter.
There is a special breed of males, that when inebriated, start fights with random people. This breed, when found in their wild habitat, are often accompanied by their similarly boneheaded buddies.
Or perhaps you and your posse end up in a rumble with the Socs because one of your buddies killed a Soc while trying to save Ponyboy from being drowned by a douche bag Soc. Man, I hate them Socs. Stay golden Ponyboy.
What can you do to prepare for a street brawl and protect yourself in this type of situation? Here are 8 simple steps you can follow to avoid ending up in the emergency room after a street fight.
1. Wake up! When someone threatens you, snap to attention. Be aware of your environment. Look for objects that you can use for weapons. Searching out a place to escape to is especially important if you’re outnumbered.
2. Try to defuse the situation. Try to talk with the guy and calm him down. If you did something unknowingly that offended him (like looking at him funny), then apologize. Don’t let your ego get in the way of apologizing for something you didn’t do. Your first goal should be to avoid fighting. Maintain confident body language. Don’t show the guy you’re afraid.
3. Walk away. If talking to the knucklehead doesn’t work, start to leave the scene. But maintain alertness and walk away backwards, still facing your opponent. If he’s a no-good, yellow-belly rat, he’ll attack you from behind.
4. Assume a fighting position. If the jerk is still threatening you and you have nowhere to go, assume a stable fighting stance. Spread your stance to about shoulder width-apart and slightly bend your knees. The goal is to maintain balance so you don’t end up on the ground. Keep your hands up to protect your face and clench your teeth. A solid punch to an open mouth can lead to a broken jaw.
5. Defend yourself. The goal is to defend yourself from violent and unjustified aggression, so don’t be afraid to fight dirty. If you have any object to use as a weapon, use it. This can be anything like a chair, a bottle (extra man points for first breaking the bottle and then thrusting the jagged part at your opponent), or a 2X4. Here are some other techniques that could be used in this sort of situation:
- Knee to the groin. No explanation needed as to why this is effective.
- Low kicks to the knee, groin, or abdomen. Kick like you’re kicking down a door, using the bottom of you foot. A solid kick to one of these areas can incapacitate your attacker long enough for you to get away.
- Headbutt to the face. Your forehead is one of the hardest bones on your body. Use this to your advantage by headbutting your opponent hard across his nose. If done correctly, you can do some serious damage.
- Throw a punch. If done correctly, an overhand punch can put your attacker out of commission.
6. Take punches effectively. While you should do your damnedest to avoid getting punched, you can’t avoid them all. If you have to take a punch, strive to absorb it in a way that minimizes the impact and damage..
- A punch to the head. Move towards the punch, tighten your neck muscles and clench your jaw. By moving into the punch, your attacker may miss the mark wide to either side. Absorb the punch with your forehead (remember how hard it is?). If your attacker hits you there, his hand will be hurting, and you’ll have minimized the damage to yourself.
- A punch to the body. Tighten your stomach muscles, but don’t suck in your stomach. Try to shift so the punch lands on your obliques rather than directly in the stomach or vital organs.
7. Give your best war cry. While defending yourself, make as much noise as possible. There are two reasons for this. First is the intimidation factor. Yelling may distract and intimidate your attackers, leaving you a better chance of getting in some good blows or getting away. The second reason is to draw attention. The more people who gather around you, the easier to call a douche bag’s bluff.
8. Make your escape. After you have incapacitated your attacker using the methods described above, get the hell out of there.
Inspired by The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
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lol im 6″2 260lbs big arnold swarinerger (spell ckehc lol) lokkin mutherfucker and im 17 so i get made fun of alot. people try to beat me up usualy 2 to 6 people at a time i have never lost. so basicly pick up some fucking weights and if you dont have a bag hit a brick wall alot is wolfs law little breaks in the bone when it heals it will calsify (grow bigger) and your punches get alot harder so dont be someones bitch bulk up.
fluffy out
Several years ago I was in a pub having a pint and tossing some darts. These young kids were in the next lane learning how to drink and getting obnoxious. At some point I asked one of them to watch where they were walking (into the dart lanes) and as I turned away he hit me on the side of the head with a long neck bottle. The bottle broke and I saw stars but didn’t go down. It took a brief moment for me to clear my head and turned to face him. His eyes got huge and he rushed me trying to tackle me around my waist. Again I didn’t go down but took a few steps backwards and backed up against a wall. At that point I looked down at my attacker, who still had me around the waist and realized that I was still holding three needle sharp steep tip darts and was looking at his left ear, neck and one of his eyes. Realizing that I had one or two kill shoots available to me or at the least could really mess this guys up, I turned and handed my darts to a bystander. At that point the bouncers showed and pulled us apart. Questioning the people around us, they told the manager that had I not only not thrown a punch, but willingly gave away my darts. The other guy was banned from the pub and I was looked at as keeping my cool and not turning a little brawl into a murder scene. Weapons can certainly be useful, but keeping your shit together, more important!
Cupped slaps to the ears could disorientate the already tipsy drunk and rupture his ear drums causing incredible pain, giving you enough time to run away.
A quick knife-chop to the neck will drop him. Exhibit A:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sam6vfq7XS8
And always go for the eyes and testicles.
Keep. your. chin. tucked. close. to. your. neck. as. possible.
PUtting out your chin is a very bad thing to do when in a fist fight. Tucking your chin will take away his ability to deliver a solid uppercut and limit his options to hooking to the jaw.
Bottom line… If it gets real serious, make sure you are the one that gets to go home that day. I’ll take the consequences over the grave any day…
Also, always remember to keep your hands up. Hold them so your elbows are around stomach level, fists at chin level. This allows you to protect your entire torso and face with minimal movement.
And don’t forget shock value attacks–saying or doing something completely retarded and unexpected can sometimes make their jaw–and their guard–drop long enough for you to finish the fight or escape.
Hey Guys,
Thanks for all the advice. I am currently being targeted by a group of about 5/6 lads who stay usually in a small gang along with their classy ladies.
One has taken a dislike to me and yesterday insisted that I “Go off camera2 to fight him. I am 38 and he is 20, obviously he had his 3 “cousins” with him who I imagined would only be to eager to step in should I have got the upperhand down some dark alleyway. Also I was carrying things that I do not want to lose.
So I stood my ground whilst on camera and tries to calm the guys anger, after which I said I would press charges if I was attacked, they guy kept telling me his name and about his time in prison so it wasn’t difficult to work out who he was.
We reached a stand off and parted although threats were made to me that are sitting nicely.
Anyway I am not running from my town centre yet as I spend a lot of time on the street I imagine I will have to face these guys again and I am looking up on the net for tips as to how to fight. I know I can fight when I really need to but when some idiotic moron is yelling at me because his Dad never understood him I find it hard to get angry or aggressive.
Has anyone thought of quoting the bible? That would probably scare these guys off more than any switchblade?
Anyway good luck and remember what Jesus says – to paraphrase – “If the enemy strikes your right cheek, offer him your left one”?. Well, watch this space fo more from the road.
Lawrence A.
I don’t recommend blocking a punch with your forehead or moving your head towards it. Tough one to pull off right and you may just take it on the nose or in the eye. Keep your chin down and you will likely be hit on the forehead anyway. Hands up high as street fighters are probably headhunters and hit your man with elbows rather than fists.
Fists have a lot of little bones and ligaments and are fragile. Your elbow has one sharp bone that is virtually guaranteed to cut your man. Thrown correctly it will break something in their face. I also recommend throwing the first blow if possible – a single elbow to the face will end most fights.
To learn elbow strikes and other effective fighting techniques take a course in Muay Thai.
However, as the author says the best thing is avoid street fights altogether as they can result in either hospital time, prison time or both. Really not worth it.
you forgot 1 step you have to throw something like a tissue at his face or stun him by hiting his ears with ur hands then pull out it stuns for a second then deck him
All I can say is God created man but Sam Colt made ‘em equal!
always avoid a fight it can lead to death or jail but if u havet to bust some ass!
and afraid to walk away and look like a little bitch…better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6
Best not to get into any stance that gives the game away.
Look into your everyday stances being your self preservation stances surprise is a big key in winning self defence situations if you messed up.
Your game plan as always should be to stay away from places where trouble is a regular occurrence if possible.
Get away from a potential situation if possible by being switched on and seeing the signs before trouble kicks off.
Then if that has failed look to control the situation by using dissuasion, talking it down be careful with your choice of words your tone of voice and body language.
Everyone has an invisible space that they consider there own space so try to control that space with your hands again not giving the game away.
Control the adrenaline, look for tell tale signs that trouble is immanent use an action trigger. A good one is ask a question then its also a brain disengagement.
Then if you need to hit them so hard there ancestors feel it.
If you haven’t finished it with the first shot fitness mindset and impact are the key ingredients!
Keep it simple!
Hit First Hit Fast Hit Hard and Hit Last!
This is a win win solution steps in a street fight.nice article you’ve made.Actually I have experience this twice I’m doing walk always it is because to exercise my body. You gotcha my answer.
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