Asking a Woman’s Father For Her Hand In Marriage

So you’ve stopped hanging out with women and started dating them. Consequently, you’ve found a woman who had become your best friend, and you know she is the one. Things have been serious for quite some time now and you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level: marriage.

One tradition that has been slowly fading away from Western society is asking a woman’s father for her hand in marriage. Many argue that the whole idea smacks of sexism and chauvinism and harks back to times when women were treated like chattel.

Whatever. I think it’s just respectful to ask your future bride’s father for his blessing as you start down the path towards matrimony. It lets your girlfriend’s father know that you’re sincere in your intentions and a true gentleman. It’s an important tradition, a rite of passage, and a bonding experience between you and your future father-in-law. Plus, most women we asked think it’s a sweet gesture.

But it’s no easy task; the experience can make any man a nervous wreck. I remember when I had the talk with my father-in-law; I was sweating bullets. Hopefully, the guidelines that follow will help ease the stress and make the experience bearable if not enjoyable.

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100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library

Written by: Jason Lankow, Ross Crooks, Joshua Ritchie, and Brett McKay

Photo by the nonist

There are the books you read, and then there are the books that change your life. We can all look back on the books that have shaped our perspective on politics, religion, money, and love. Some will even become a source of inspiration for the rest of your life. From a seemingly infinite list of books of anecdotal or literal merit, we have narrowed down the top 100 books that have shaped the lives of individual men while also helping define broader cultural ideas of what it means to be a man.

Whether it be a book on adventure, war, or manners, there is so much to learn about life’s great questions from these gems. Let us know in the comments which of these you loved, hated, and the books that meant a lot to you and should have made the list (you can even get really indignant about your favorite book). And without further ado, this is our list.

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The Manival #3 Is At Schaefer’s Blog

This week’s Manival is being hosted at Schaefer’s Blog. Make sure to go by and check it out. If you have a chance, give it a quick Stumble and a review.

Here are a few of my favorites:

The Manly Art of Giving a Toast (@ mitch ross)

Marriage Is Not 50/50 (@ i am husband)

Do’s and Don’ts of Complimenting Your Wife On Mother’s Day (@ discovering dad)

Make sure to tune in to next week’s Manival at The Care and Feeding of Man. If you’d like to submit a post to next week’s Manival, use the submission form. Contributing to the Manival is an easy way to introduce your blog to new readers and generate new traffic, so contribute today!

The Virtuous Life: Tranquility

This is the eleventh post in a series about living Ben Franklin’s 13 virtues.

 

“TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.”

 
Every day we encounter a thousand little annoyances. Some jerk cuts us off on the way to work, we get a flat tire, someone takes our lunch out of the fridge, and so on. While each incident is seemingly small, they burrow under our skin and fester there. The mundane indignities of life threaten to snuff the very life out of us. We can soon find ourselves exploding at the smallest irritations. We become angry all the time.
 
In Western society, anger has sometimes been associated with toughness and manliness. We secretly applaud the hothead who finally loses it on the nincompoop who screwed him over. But anger is often a blustery cover for a man who is insecure and weak and has no other recourse to solve his problems and make his point. Truly manliness means being as coolheaded and unflappable as possible no matter what the situation.
 
Many men use two equally detrimental methods to deal with their anger. Some seek cantharis by giving their anger free reign. But this only magnifies the anger and can have negative consequences for both the angry man and those around him. Other men try to stuff their anger deep down inside. This buried anger eats at their insides and transforms them into bitter and cynical men.
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How Do You Know When She’s the One?

When we wrote 14 Ways to Affair Proof Your Marriage, several people rightly pointed out that the best way to obtain a happy and faithful marriage is to marry the right person. But how do you know when you’ve found the right woman to settle down with?

When it is comes to getting hitched, guys get cold feet for two reasons. Some guys are uber-picky.

They have a list in their minds of their perfect wife characteristics: hot but not slutty, smart but not nerdy, skinny but a good cook, etc. Unfortunately, no real woman can live up to the fantasy, and these guys stay perpetually single. The second type of guy looks at others’ failed marriages, particularly his own parents, and won’t get married because of the fear of choosing the wrong woman.

The truth is that knowing you’ve found the right woman to marry is not rocket science. The decision to marry my wife was the easiest decision I’ve ever made in my life. Here are five guidelines that guided me on deciding my wife was the one for me:

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Check Out the Manival #2 at A Good Husband

This week’s Manival is being host at A Good Husband. Make sure to check it out. Here were a few of my favorite submissions:

The Art of Marital Conversation (@ simple marriage)

8 Things That Will Not Score You A First Date (@ womopo)

Fine is Not “Fine” (@ i am husband)

Make sure to submit to next week’s Manival hosted by Schaefer’s blog.

How To Survive and Thrive In a Street Fight in 8 Simple Steps

Let’s say you’re out with your buddies (or maybe a lovely young lady) having a good time, when all of a sudden some jackass shoves you. You didn’t do anything to instigate the guy, but it doesn’t matter.
There is a special breed of males, that when inebriated, start fights with random people. This breed, when found in their wild habitat, are often accompanied by their similarly boneheaded buddies.

Or perhaps you and your posse end up in a rumble with the Socs because one of your buddies killed a Soc while trying to save Ponyboy from being drowned by a douche bag Soc. Man, I hate them Socs. Stay golden Ponyboy.

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The Virtuous Life: Cleanliness

This a 10th post in a series about the Benjamin Franklin’s 13 virtues.

CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, clothes, or habitation.

A common stereotype that society places on males is that of the sloppy and unkempt man. We see it all the time on television. A man sitting in his man chair with potato chip crumbs all over himself.

Beer cans and old pizza cartons are stacked throughout the room. The fellow is usually wearing a crummy t-shirt with food stains all over it. This sad image is what some would say represents manliness.

They couldn’t be more wrong.

While many think that only effeminate men would take the time to care about cleanliness; manly men understand that taking pride in cleanliness develops one’s attention to detail, work ethic, and self confidence. Moreover, cleanliness facilitates the orderly development of one’s life.

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Lessons in Manliness: Theodore Roosevelt and the Spanish-American War

Theodore Roosevelt, who arguably accomplished more than any other American man, called his experience in the Spanish-American War, “the great day of my life.” It was during his charge up Kettle Hill that Theodore Roosevelt’s leadership and confidence finally crystallized. He passed the test and emerged as a leader capable of ascending to the presidency. His actions during the war impart crucial lessons on manly leadership:

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The Best of Art of Manliness, April 2008

April was another fantastic month for The Art of Manliness, thanks again to all of you! Subscribers climbed to 7,141 and traffic is on the up and up. I’m particularly pumped about the launching of the Art of Manliness Forums and the kickoff of the Manival. If you haven’t already, go register as a member of the forums and join in the awesome discussion going on there. Here are some examples of some of the manly discussion going on there:

Commitment and Jobs
A Group of Real Men
Classic Man Music

The Manival is a blog carnival for men. The idea is each week a different man blog will aggregate the best man posts from around the man blogosphere. The first edition was a big hit! We received 20 manly submissions that would put hair on any man’s chest who read them. Next week, A Good Husband will be hosting the Manival. If you have a man post that you would like to include, submit it with this handy submission form. Submissions are due by next Monday.

Now, lets take a look at the best posts in April

How to Break Down A Door

How to Snag a Souvenir Baseball

9 Ways to Start a Fire Without Matches

Every Man Should Carry a Pocket Knife

4 Ways Nature Restores Your Manly Vigor

Finding Yourself is a Crock

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