Grilling the Perfect Steak

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from AoM reader and friend Cameron Ming. Cameron is an award winning barbequer and griller here in Oklahoma.

One of the closest links between man and beast is our love for meat. But what should separate us from mere animals is the manner in which that meat is cooked. Sadly, just because you’re human doesn’t mean you’re eating your meat any better than a beast.

Cooking steak truly is like art: lots of people can draw, but not everyone is Michelangelo. Most of us will never make masterpieces at home, but getting close is much more simple than you think. Properly cooking a steak will separate you from the majority of the guys on the block and might even impress the ladies. But more important than showing up the fellas, you owe it to yourself to prepare the meat in the best way possible. It’s a matter of respect, I’d say.

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The Virtuous Life: Silence

Photo by Millie Motts

This is the second in a series of posts about living the virtuous life like Benjamin Franklin.

Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; Avoid trifling Conversation.

Clearly, Ben was not referring to monastic solitude when he presented silence as a virtue. Instead, he had in mind the ability of knowing the appropriate time and words to speak. A gentlemen has always been judged by his manner of speech, yet our modern age presents a host of difficulties in this area that Franklin never faced.

Whether because of selfishness or simple ignorance, many men are drowning as they attempt to navigate the waters of proper communication. Here are four areas in life where men can apply the virtue of silence and make the world a bit more enjoyable for everyone.

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The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: LifeRemix and Facebook Application Edition

I’m honored to announce that The Art of Manliness has been invited to join LifeRemix, a network of excellent personal enrichment blogs. LifeRemix compiles the headlines from the best blogs on productivity, personal development, work/family balance, and organization. Some of the blogs in the network include Zen Habits, Get Rich Slowly, LifeDev, and The Cranking Widgets Blog. You can see the full list of participating blogs here.

What does this mean to you the reader? Not much really. LifeRemix will help AoM continue to grow and gain exposure to new readers who will hopefully contribute the conversation we’ve got going on here.

Also, I’ve created an AoM Facebook Application. Why? Well, I know many of you don’t use RSS readers or don’t like getting email updates. So, I wanted to provide an easy way for people to keep updated on AoM. After you install it, you’ll be able to see when we’ve updated the site with a new article.

The other reason is that a Facebok app is an easy way for people to share a favorite article with their friends on Facebook. If you see an article you like, you can just click “share” and you’ll be able to pick which friends to send it to. It’s just one more way you all can help spread the word about AoM.

OK, enough business. Let’s look at some links.

Healthy, Wealthy, and DEAD?: 5 Reasons Why Getting Up Early Might be Harmful (@ the growing life) If you read most personal development blogs, most of them discuss ad infinitum about the benefits of getting up early. Clay at The Growing Life questions this advice and argues waking up early might be harmful to you. Personally, I’m an early riser. When I sleep more than 7 hours, I’m groggy the rest of the day. I think the best advice is to just listen to your body.

Heartbreak Hotel: How to Turn Rejection Into Triumph (@ life dev) This is a great article on how to turn failure into success. You want to live a great life? Get used to failure.  As Teddy Roosevelt said:

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.

What did you parents give you? (@ a daring adventure via scott h young) People are more likely to attribute their flaws to their parents, but not their strengths. First, if you’re doing this, stop. Take responsibility for your problems. Second, give your folks a call and thank them for attributes they helped you develop.

How to Beat the Competition (@ steve pavlina) Steve Pavlina reminds us what it takes to beat the competition: do what your competition won’t do.

To Revive Hunting, States Turn to the Classroom (@ nytimes) Hunting has been on the decline for the past three decades. I’m sure all the snooty urbanite environmentalists who never spend time in nature think this is a great thing. But hunting is an important part of wildlife management. In order to counter the trend many states are creating hunting classes in schools. If they had this when I was in school, I would totally enroll.

The Mechanics of the Man Hug

A firm, hearty handshake is always an appropriate way for men to greet each other. But when men achieve a greater familiarity, a man hug becomes appropriate. Some men fear male on male hugging of any kind. But done in an appropriate way, men can still hug while remaining secure in their manhood. Here’s how:

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Segregating the Sexes

Photo from John Collier, Jr.

Last week’s New York Times Magazine had an article about the trend towards segregating boys and girls in America’s public school classrooms.

Segregating by gender used to be the exclusive domain of private and religious schools. But failing public schools are turning to gender segregation with hopes that it can help turn around poor academic performance, especially among boys.

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Ebook Link Fixed

The link for the free ebook has been fixed. I apologize for it being down. If you still have problems downloading it please feel free to contact me with our handy contact form and I can send you a copy. (Also, the contact form has been fixed.)

For those of you who don’t know about the ebook, if you subscribe to AoM’s RSS feed or sign up for email updates, a link will appear in your subscription that will allow you to download The Art of Manliness Guide to Being a Gentleman in 2008. Sign up today to get your free copy!

The Warrior’s Guide to True Manliness

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Evan and Spencer Burton. They author the blog Living Indubiously.

It was not long ago that men were born to be warriors and had no other obligations than to uphold the warrior code and to pass it on to their offspring. It was only during the past 500 years that man forgot this way of life and replaced it with a complacency seemingly suited for a new world of convenience. The time that has passed since we have forgotten our warrior days has been a mere fraction of the entire existence of humans, meaning that this warrior instinct is still entirely intact and awaiting to be awoken in the lives of all men.

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The Virtuous Life: Temperance

This is the first in a series of posts about living the virtuous life like Benjamin Franklin.

Is there a less sexy idea today than temperance? Yet when Benjamin Franklin began his pursuit of the virtuous life, it was this virtue he chose to concentrate on first. The way in which Ben ordered his 13 virtues was deliberate. He selected temperance to kick off his self-improvement program because:

…it tends to procure that coolness and clearness of head, which is so necessary where constant vigilance was to be kept up, and guard maintained against the unremitting attraction of ancient habits, and the force of perpetual temptations.

In other words, first attaining self-discipline in the area of food and drink would make adherence to all of the other virtues easier.

Why is this? Hunger and thirst are some of the most primal of urges, and thus are some of the hardest to control. Therefore, when seeking to gain self-discipline, one must start with the most basic appetites and work up from there. A man must first harness his inward urges, before tackling the more external virtues. A clear mind and a healthy body are prerequisites to the pursuit of the virtuous life.

Eat Not to Dullness

The glutton is much more than an animal and much less than a man. ~ Honore de Balzac

Have you ever noticed that the first few bites of a delicious food are the best? After chowing down on something for awhile, the vibrant tastes become significantly dulled.

Today many people shovel food into their mouths so fast that their palate never has a chance to register this transition. Yet the shift is one of the ways your stomach tries to tell you that it is full and to stop eating. Unfortunately, people ignore this signal and continue to eat far past it. The consequence is not only a far less enjoyable eating experience, but an ever expanding gut.

Many people have noticed the paradox that gourmet cooks who spend their whole day around food are often in good shape. But it is really no mystery at all. These chefs eat only the best, most delicious foods, and when they dine, they really savor each bite.

There are a million diet books out there, but the only thing a person needs to know to maintain a decent waistline is this: eat when hungry, stop when full. Don’t eat in front of the TV or on the go. Sit down for a proper meal. Savor each mouthful, and think about the flavors you are experiencing. Put your fork down in between bites. When the flavors become less vibrant, and your stomach starts to feel full, stop eating.

Drink Not to Elevation

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it’s compounding a felony. ~ Robert Benchley

Many a manly man in history has enjoyed a drink or two. Yet somewhere along the way men began to think it was manly to guzzle their spirits through a funnel attached to their mouth. Yet there are truly few things less virtuous than getting tanked and passing out.

Does this guy look manly? No. He looks like a douchebag.

Men should not seek to numb themselves in the pursuit of a good time. For surely there is something to be said about being fully present in every moment. At the heart of manliness is the belief in personal responsibility. But excess drinking and personal responsibility are at odds. When drunk, a person cannot be said to be 100% in control of their choices. So if something goes wrong, they often blame the alcohol. A true man is in control of himself in every situation

Men should also seek to rid themselves of any kind of dependencies. Alcohol can cause several, the most obvious one being outright alcoholism. But frequent boozing can also make a man dependent on liquor for confidence and for a good time. It becomes a crutch. True men will be confident enough to not need liquid courage and dynamic enough to create their own good time through their personality and charm.

Temperance in the life of Robert E. Lee

I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it. ~ Robert E. Lee

The Robert E. Lee, general of the Confederate army during the American Civil War, lived the virtue of temperance. Lee was a masterful military tactician. He graduated second in his class at West Point and received no demerits while there. He led a rag tag Confederate army in outmatched battles against the Union and won several of them.

Part of Lee’s success as a military leader can be attributed to the clear thinking that came with abstaining from alcohol. Speaking to man about the need to avoid alcohol, Lee said:

Did it ever occur to you that when you reach middle life, you may need a stimulant, and if you have accustomed yourself to taking stimulants in your early life it will require so much more to have the desired effect at a time when you may need it? How much better it would be if the young man would leave intoxicants in his student days.

Conclusion

Men often try to numb themselves with food and alcohol to avoid dealing with their real problems. But manning up involves facing one’s issues head on. Gaining the self-discipline to moderate your intake of food and alcohol will give you the confidence to start making other improvements in your life.

If you liked this article, please bookmark it on del.icio.us or vote for it on Digg. I’d appreciate it.

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Bringing Back the Hat

Up until the 1950’s men were rarely seen out and about without a hat sitting upon their head. Since that time, the wearing of hats has seen a precipitous decline. No one is precisely sure why. Some say the downfall of hats occurred when JFK did not wear a hat to his inauguration, thus forever branding them as uncool. This is an urban myth, however, as Kennedy did indeed don a hat that day. Another theory posits that the shrinking size of cars made wearing a hat while driving prohibitively difficult. Most likely, the demise of hats can simply be traced to changing styles and the ongoing trend towards a more casual look.

Yet hats are due for a full resurgence. Hats are both functional and stylish. They can cover a bad hair day, keep your head warm, and shade your eyes from the sun. They can also be worn to cover a receding hairline, which interestingly enough is why Frank Sinatra, an iconic hat wearer, start wearing one in the first place. They give you touch of class and sophistication, impart personality, and add an interesting and unique accent to your outfits. And hats are a sure-fire way to boost your confidence. A cool hat can quickly become your signature piece and give you extra swagger.

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The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: New Server Edition

Today is the first whole day with the new host. Things appear to be going well. The switch was a little more rough than I wanted it to be., but what are you going to do? The new host should be able to handle the large amounts of traffic AoM has been getting these past few weeks and hopefully be able to handle the site’s continued growth.

Let’s look at some links:

Gals make passes at guys who wash glasses Married men: do you want to improve your sex life in your marriage? Start doing the laundry. Studies have shown that men who help out around the house, get more sex. The lust women have for men who do chores around the house can be seen in a new book called Porn for Women. The book features fully clothed men doing housework.

Through being cool Besides being a place to sell you’re old Bowflex, you can also find essays on Craigslist. This one was brought to my attention by AoM reader, Aidan. This short essay hits a lot of issues. What stuck out to me was the need for American men to stop caring what other people think of them (or “trying to be cool”), the need for American men to develop stronger friendships with other men, and the need for American men to learn to accept rejection. Give it a read. It’s short, but packs in a lot of good points. (@ craigslist) (via aidan)

Screw Uncle Sam - Take Your Tax Deductions! Tax Day in the U.S. is fast approaching. Have you started preparing your taxes? If you haven’t yet, make sure to check out Andrew Flusche’s article on how to keep more of your money from Uncle Sam. (@ legal andrew)

In Defense of Polygamy The author of this article argues that polygamy is to marriage is what the free market economy is to the economy. So if you believe in monogamy, you’re a Commie fink. I don’t think my wife would buy this guy’s arguments. (@ msn lifestyle)

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