Love, Sherree

Believe me It is possible it all depends upon what you are feeding yourself with on a daily basis. I don’t watch secular TV. I don’t go to sexually explicit movies without my spouse. I especially do not EVER look at Pornography. Also all you guys who say Pornography is not destructive. You can only feed your imagination with that garbage for so long. Believe me it will take its toll. I practice Mental Monogamy. I don’t let my imagination go there.
Pick up a copy of the book My Brain Doesn’t Cheat on My Wife
by Wade Young (Author)

My late mother told me something about marriage which I’ve never forgo; trust, once broken, is very difficult, if not impossible, to rebuild.

Stop being selfish and put the shoe on the other foot. How’d you like it if your spouse was cheating on you? I love the advice on communication. No one is a mind reader so it there’s something within your relationship that you need or want and aren’t getting, talk to your partner about it.

I am, however, surprised at how many people said that you sounded dated and too old fashioned. When it comes to relationships, why wouldn’t we want to be old fashioned? 50 years ago, getting a divorce was difficult and frowned upon. Cheating was a complete disgrace. But now when people get married, they practically plan a divorce right away just “in case”, so they have an easy way out if it gets hard, and cheating is actually sometimes said to be a good thing for a relationship. A GOOD thing!! I have never heard of such a low, horrible way to look at it before in my life.

Anyway, just my opinion. I hope you suckers out there, with your porn and fantasies, lose your wives soon because you sure as heck don’t deserve them!

One person can start the changes. If your relationship has hit a rough spot, instead of being prideful and trying to justify poor treatment of your spouse (or an affair), be the bigger person. If you are committed to the marriage, change what you are doing. Spend more time with your spouse – love them the way they need to be loved. Listen to them – if they say you don’t help out enough, then perhaps that is how they need to be loved by you – by you showing it in helping out.

For many, one person making changes will initiate changes with the spouse and therefore the relationship.

If not, then perhaps other steps – or a breakup – may be in order.

Did you know that women and men feel loved in different ways? Usually, women need to feel loved (listened to, helped, and praised) to feel amorous (give sex), and men need to feel amorous (get sex) to ‘love’ (give help, listen, and praise). Its a losing situation if both stand in their corner crying that the other is not meeting their needs. It only takes one of them to ‘wo/man up’ and give what the other needs for them to get their own needs met as well. Its a natural response. Its not about blackmail, but of understanding that people need to feel loved and have their needs met. Want your needs met? Meet your spouse’s first.

That is really what the core of a healthy relationship is – putting your partner first. When you start putting yourself first, you are shifting the dynamics in the relationship.

This concept blew my mind, and i couldn’t believe how much difference it made in our relationship. Once i did this, my wife took on a whole new beauty to me. I realised i had been feeding myself a wrong notion of what marriage is about. I now have a serious case of “Shallow Hal” syndrome: my wife is absolutely stunning, and no hypnotic pass phrase can snap me out of it!

I can’t see myself getting to retirement age (30 or so years away) and saying to myself, “I wish i had looked at more porn.”

Dump the porn. You won’t regret it.

The only person I want in my bed and in my head when we are making love is my wife. That is what a marriage vow truly means. I gave up porn 30 years ago when I decided I wanted to stop using other people for my pleasure. Thats not why people were born.
Tim

Someone in the comments mentioned the woman’s maintenance and gaining weight, yadda yadda.. which made me laugh considering if I gained any, I’d be ~more~ attractive to him.. ha.. Maybe my relationship is just too outside the norm for conventional advise to be much use.