Comments on: The Virtuous Life: Silence

By: uberVU - social comments

uberVU - social comments — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:58:57 +0000

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by jeffreybarwick: #fb Do not speak unless you can improve the silence. http://is.gd/4B8ac…

By: Larry Lee

Larry Lee — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:51:24 +0000

Great website with great insight. Please do not ever stop making your articles gender specific as if you are writing for a male-only audience. One of your posters above requested that your articles use a more neutral way of speaking where possible. There are ENOUGH women-only areas on the Internet, magazines, local clubs, etc., so please let “artofmanliness.com” be directed towards the male audience. If I visit a website aimed at women, I would never dream to request the articles be written more male-inclusive. Why would I? Its bad enough that women are infiltrating every other area of what was previously a male’s sanctuary such as the local barbershop. Ladies, if you are reading this, when you take your boy to get his hair cut I beg you to drop him off and go shopping or something. Do not impose on the last of the male frontier. There are no longer any public places left where a boy can passively learn what it is to be a man. Testosterone is at an all time low throughout the world. Estrogen-laden males are becoming far too common. John Wayne would die at the sight of things today if he wasn’t already dead! Nancy’s (feminine male’s) are prancing around everywhere imitating their favorite boy-band in this kinder, gentler female-driven society.

By: increase vertical

increase vertical — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:52:10 +0000

Great stuff, I consider myself a gentleman.

By: Blake Helgoth

Blake Helgoth — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:58:39 +0000

Great post. I think it all boils down to being a gentleman, which means thinking about those around you and being truely concerned for their needs and feelings. I’ve learned in business that, while technology is useful, it can also ruin the moment. After all, business is about relationships with other people. When I meet with someone I let them see me silence my phone and even say, “Let me turn this off so we won’t be interupted.” That says, you are important and right now you have my undivided attention.

By: Donna

Donna — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 10:02:38 +0000

I am obviously a girl, but love the wisdom of your site. After a search on google, I stumbled onto your site, after coming across the word, moderation, in my bible reading, and wanting more insight into its meaning, so I could put it into practice. The Virtuous life has helped me a lot. The “gender” thing does not bother me; we are all human, after all. Who cares as long as it is helpful, right? My boss gave me some great advice once, â€œDon’t sweat the small stuffâ€

In regards to the cell phones, which I have grown to almost despise because of the constant interruptions in my life, when working and family just calls to say hi, because it is convenient, drives me crazy. Cell phones should not be used on demand.

Just because people have cell phones and no matter where they are or what they are doing, they are able to call a person anytime they want, does not mean the person on the other end can answer the phone on someone else whim. Please, use courtesy when calling other people constantly, just because you can. It is very annoying and rude to the other person, who has to answer every call, text, and sm because it could be a customer. Worse, when these calls go unanswered, the voice mails take up all the memory and important calls cannot get through.

Please , be considerate. Although cell phone use is convenient, its use should not be used flippantly, without regard to the respect of the person on the other end. Many people use their cell phone for both: work and family.

By: Keith Maven

Keith Maven — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 06:51:53 +0000

thanks for the great advice
i think 6 packs are manly. i’m using truth about abs to build my abs, and its working so far

Truth About Abs

Keith Maven

By: encryption

encryption — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 14:36:29 +0000

Of course it’s true. Most of them doing the same thing again and againâ€¦ but no one realizes till now

By: John

John — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 03:15:54 +0000

When I first read Ben Franklin’s virtues, this one stuck out as being the least sensible. You are sort of re-interpreting it to fit the modern era. But look at the original virtue: “Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; Avoid trifling Conversation.” In other words, no small talk. Does talking about the Lakers game benefit you or your friend? No, so it’s best to be avoided. Etc.

Perhaps this made sense in Franklin’s era, when the path to success lay in getting back to the typesetting machine instead of schmoozing. But here in the future, creating and developing a variety of relationships is far more important. That’s why I’m strongly in favor of small talk.

By: indigoblue

indigoblue — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 08:25:44 +0000

Good piece with some useful advice there

By: The Virtuous Life: Wrap Up | The Art of Manliness

The Virtuous Life: Wrap Up | The Art of Manliness — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:58:12 +0000

[...] Silence Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; Avoid trifling Conversation. [...]

By: arkanabar t'verrick ilarsadin

arkanabar t'verrick ilarsadin — Sun, 25 May 2008 15:15:08 +0000

@Deneteus on March 10th, 2008 5:53 pm: do you believe that human error is unacceptable? What about learning curves? What about breakdowns in equipment? I waited tables for years. The restaurant where I spent the most time gave the most difficult section to the most inexperienced server. This is normal. Good sections are rewards for demonstrated capability, loyalty, and experience, and dealing with a bad section demonstrates all three. Was it the green server's fault that nobody wanted to sit by the bathroom until the rest of the nonsmoking section had filled up? Like a plate spinner, we depend on starting with the second table when the first has their drinks, the third when the first has their appetizers and the second their drinks, the fourth when the first has their entrees, the second their appetizers, and the third their drinks, and the fifth when the first has their desserts, the second their entrees, and so on. The cooks multitask in very much the same way. That section would get up to six tables of two to four people all at once, all expecting to get served simultaneously. It takes empathy, good people skills, and some uncommon knowledge to be able to stretch time differences of a few seconds in seating to as much as ten minutes in service. Is it her fault if the ventilation hoods over the grill blew her order ticket off the rack and behind the stove? Or if the cook was a sexist pig who made her life crap because she had the sense to turn him down? Or if she didn't know all the ins and outs of punching your remarkably complicated order into a point-of-sale terminal on her fourth day? Or if the three tables next to you send her on four trips for drinks -- each -- instead of just one? The point of all these questions is this: if you can't deal with problems in other people's lives, and develop some tranquility, you make your own life much more difficult thereby.

By: Brett McKay

Brett McKay — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:12:36 +0000

@Len-

Ah, good catch! I’m surprised no one noticed until now. I think we started with four areas, and the fourth was going to be gossip. And then the post was getting too long, so we decided to hone in on etiquette problems related to modern advancements. Gossip got cut, but we never edited the intro.

By: Len

Len — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 11:54:59 +0000

Loved it. AoM is one of my favourite places to browse. One question about this piece: The intro mentions “Here are four areas in life…” and then I read about the Cell Phone, Customer Service, the Internet, and, er, … Did I miss one (or perhaps, did you)? I’d be happy to read more on this subject.

There are few things I find more annoying than to be speaking to someone when they take a cell phone call. Also when people conduct a cell phone call in a busy place. While I know I shouldn’t, I have occasionally joined in, offering advice on the part of the conversation I can hear (and often the volume is turned up sufficiently to hear the other side as well). For some reason people take offence at this, although I can’t think why – after all, they’re conducting an open conversation. Ph well, sometimes you just have to laugh.

By: Gabe Smith

Gabe Smith — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 06:41:18 +0000

Good stuff especially about the cell phones. I think the only exceptions to these rules are doctors or emergency responders since their phone calls are very likely more important that whatever I’m talking about with them.

By: Jeremy Neal

Jeremy Neal — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:12:34 +0000

Ben Franklin’s life is a timeless inspiration. You’re applications are right on, especially about the cell phone. It drives me nuts when people are talking to me and answer their cell phone. I always walk away when this happens, even if we were in the middle of something.