Write A Love Letter Like A Soldier

The thing women most want on Valentine’s Day is not jewelry or chocolate but a love note from you. A Hallmark card with some prefabricated message simply won’t do. Women want to hear words straight from your heart.

But writing a well-crafted love note is no easy task. They can quickly devolve into trite, cliché mushiness that doesn’t say anything meaningful. Chock full of banal generalities, these love notes pack the romantic punch of a wet noodle. Do you need some inspiration on making your love note powerfully romantic?

Nothing is more romantic and tragic than the last letter a soldier writes home before being killed in action. The supreme example of this type of letter was written by a man named Sullivan Ballou.

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Cracking The Valentine’s Day Code

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from my wife, Kate McKay.

A lot of people, both men and women, think Valentine’s Day is kind of a silly holiday, designed by corporations to make you buy their stuff. Love and romance should be expressed every day, and you shouldn’t have to spend gobs of money to do it. Yet one of the burning questions men who have been in a long-term relationship face is what to give a woman who says: “I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day.”

Plenty of advice gurus will tell you that this is a trap and that a woman who says this doesn’t mean it. And plenty of men have had experiences that bear this advice out. They’ll tell you how they didn’t get anything for the lady in their life who said she didn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, and how they got a cold shoulder in return. And then they’ll tell you how she then registered disappointment but tried to passively aggressively hide it.

So what is the deal? Are women a bunch of liars who like to trap and play games with their men? Well, sadly, yes, some of them do. But in the majority of cases the conflict arises from men and women interpreting “anything” differently.

When a man hears a woman say she doesn’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, he hears, “I want nothing.” But this isn’t the correct interpretation. So what does it mean?

When a woman says she does not want anything for Valentine’s Day it means she does not want a giant teddy bear, magnetic teddy bears that kiss, or any manner of teddy bear. It means she doesn’t expect you to wake her up with a diamond heart shaped pendant. She does not want a fancy dinner, gourmet chocolates, or a gift certificate for a day at the spa. She doesn’t want any of the things that corporations hawk this time of year. What does she want? A love note and flowers.

But wait you say, aren’t love notes and flowers “something?” Not to a woman they aren’t. They are so rudimentary as to not constitute “anything.” For example, you may want to buy something but refrain and say “I don’t have any money.” Of course you have some money, but not enough for your something to constitute anything. A love note and flowers are minimum gestures that are expected. Like brushing your teeth or showering.

So what the woman in your life really wants when she says she wants nothing, is an acknowledgment that you love her and are thinking about her. In many cases simply a love note, sans flowers, will do. Just make sure the note says mushy things you don’t normally say and you’re golden

And remember, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. She may not want anything, but something is always better than nothing.

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Talk Like Frank Sinatra

Old Blue Eyes. The Chairman of the Board. Frank Sinatra was the epitome of American male coolness. When he walked into any room, his confident swagger created an electric charge. Women wanted to be with him and men wanted to be him.

Part of Sinatra’s manly and cool presence came from the way he talked. See, Frank had a way of livening up every part of life, even the English language. He peppered casual conversations with phrases and words that to the uninitiated sounded like a bunch of gibberish. Yet it left people intrigued, and wanting to be part of the seemingly exclusive fraternity that used this secret lingo. It not only created a magnetic attraction, but simply sounded damn cool.

Below is a dictionary of the secret man language of Frank Sinatra. Throw a few of these words into your conversations among friends. You’ll probably get a few raised eyebrows but like Frank, you’ll add spark to even the most mundane interactions.

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The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Barber Shop Edition

Photo by Alan C.

For the past few months, I’ve been looking for a barber shop to go to. Sadly, barber shops have been on the decline in the United States. Barber shops used to be a place where a man could get a sharp haircut, a clean shave and decent conversation. Because of the disappearance of barber shops men have been forced to get their haircut at salon’s by cosmetologists whose training is geared towards cutting women’s hair. Every time I’ve gone to a place like this, I’ve always walked away with a bad haircut.

Thankfully, I found a barber shop here in town. Monty’s the barber I had. Barbering has been a family tradition in Monty’s family for three generations. Everything Monty knows, he learned from his grandfather. The experience was great. I shot the breeze with the other barbers and the other clients in the shop and I got an awesome haircut. What I liked most about the cut was he used hot lather and a single blade razor to clean up the area on my neck and around my ears. Pretty damn smooth. Monty does hot lather shaves with the single blade razor as well. I’ll be going back soon to get that done.

Now for some links.

Advent of the Mustache. Mustaches are back. Get in touch with your inner Burt Reynolds. (@ msn men)

The Fitness and State of Mind of a Royal Marines Commando. The Royal Marines are hard core. This guide provides you with an awesome guide on how to workout like them. (@ just a guy thing)

Living Indubiously. This site is authored by two brothers with cystic fibrosis. These guys aren’t having pitty parties about the cards they’ve been dealt. They’re taking life by the horns and kicking its ass. Much like Teddy Roosevelt, they haven’t let their sickness get them down through grit and hard work. If you need some inspiration to get off your butt and do something with your life, check this site out. (@ living indubiously)

The Choice-Minimal Lifestyle: 6 Formulas for More Output and Less Overwhelm. Simplicity is a manly virtue. Plato, Emerson, and the Spartans all preached simplicity as the best way to develop manliness. This post from Tim Ferris is all about it simplifying so you can accomplish more. (@ the four hour work week)

Working Smarter, No Matter Your Income Level or Economic Situation. Hard work is necessary but not sufficient to get ahead in life. You also have to work smart. Trent from the Simple Dollar has given a great write up on what you can do to work smarter and get ahead in life. (@ the simple dollar)

What should I tell my children if they were to ask me “How to choose the right spouse?” Choosing a spouse is probably the most important decision you’ll ever make. I’m blessed enough to have an awesome wife. Seriously, I don’t know where I would be with out her. Read this post for some great advice on choosing a spouse. (@ father sez)

Love and Care of the GREAT KILT Kilts are manly. Ever see Braveheart? Here’s a how to guide on how to put on a kilt and how to take care of it.

Keep Your Ties In Tip Top Shape

A nice tie can bring a whole outfit together. They also allow you to easily diversify your wardrobe simply by mixing and matching ties with different shirts and suits. But ties are delicate. If you don’t take care of them, they can easily become worn and tattered. Instead of being a punctuation point to a sharp suit, an unkept tie will make you look dopey. Here’s a short run down on how to care for your ties.

Untying your Ties

Care should be taken when removing your tie. After a long day of work, I know you probably just want to get the damn thing off. But fight the temptation to pull the thin end of the tie through the knot. While this is the easiest way to get your tie off, it ruins the shape of the tie in the process. If you want to make your ties last, remove your ties by following the tie-tying steps in reverse.

Storing Your Ties

When putting away a tie, many men roll them up, stuff them in a drawer, or lay them over a chair. But ties are made of delicate fabric and are extremely impressionable. So as soon as the tie comes off, drape it over a coat hanger or closet rack. Hanging your ties properly makes it easier for the creases and folds from a knot to fall out.

A nice tie rack is a good investment. Tie racks make storing and organizing your ties much easier. The Executive Ladder is a nice quality rack that sells for under $15. Spend a little on a rack now, and save money in the long run by making your ties last.

When traveling, fold your ties into fours and place them in your coat pocket. That will help maintain your ties’ shape while traveling.

I think one of the reasons I’m popular again is because I’m wearing a tie. You have to be different.” - Tony Bennett

Cleaning Your Ties

A small stain can ruin any tie. Use care while eating with a tie on to avoid getting food on it. If you do stain your tie, take action quickly. Blot the stain with cold water as this prevents it from setting. Seltzer water or club soda works best. If you get any greasy materials on your tie (like juice from that medium rare steak you’re eating), water won’t do. Get some talcum powder on your tie ASAP. The powder will absorb the grease. After a few hours, brush off the remaining residue and clean with a soft cloth.

If you take your ties into a dry cleaner, specifically request that they don’t press your ties. Most dry cleaners do, but ironing a tie presses down on its rolled edges and ruins its shape.

Removing Wrinkles from Your Ties

As mentioned above, ironing ties should be avoided. But it’s inevitable that your ties will start to wrinkle. The best way to get the wrinkles out without ruining your tie in the process is using steam. For easy wrinkles, simply hanging your tie in the bathroom while you take a hot shower will do the trick. For more stubborn wrinkles, consider purchasing a hand held steamer. Conair makes several good ones for a decent price. A couple of passes with this baby and your wrinkles are gone.

Tie Tacks

Tie tacks are nice because they keep your tie in place and out of your food. However, tie tacks leave holes in the fabric of your tie. To avoid these holes, insert the tie tack through the fabric keeper on the back and then through your shirt. No holes, but your tie will be kept in place.

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The Brad Pitt Rule

The Art of Manliness wants to encourage men to stop hanging out and start dating. But negotiating the waters of dating can be tricky. Men often want to know if a girl is into to them or not. How can you know? Employ the Brad Pitt rule. Read more

Lessons in Manliness: The Childhood of Theodore Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt was not only one of our greatest presidents, he was also one of the greatest American men who ever lived. He embodied all the manly virtues and lived life with vigor and enthusiasm. In everything he did, he not only talked the talk, but walked the walk.

This is the first in a series of posts that will highlight the exemplary manliness of TR. We shall begin with his childhood. Read more

The Art of Manliness Weekly Roundup: Super Bowl XLII Edition

Super Bowl XLII (that’s 42 for those of you who don’t know Roman Numerals) is tomorrow. We’ve got the undefeated New England Patriots going up against the New York Giants. This is a big game for the Patriots. If they win, they’ll be the first undefeated NFL team in history since the ‘73 Dolphins. With that comes the bragging rights of being called one of the “Greatest Football Teams In History.” If they lose, they’ll be remembered forever as the “Undefeated Team That Choked In the Super Bowl.” What are your predictions? Post ‘em in the comments.

Now for some linkage.

100 Great Movies Every Guy MUST See (@ just a guy thing)

NY Giants Get Some Super Bowl Tips (@ review in sports)

10 Things You Should Never Say To a Woman (@ msn lifestyle for men)

Men and Make-up: How Not to Glisten When Your Stock Plummets (@ the dermatology blog)

How To Delete Email Addiction (@ think simple now)

Relax Like a Pro: 5 Steps to Hacking Your Sleep (@ four hour work week)

5 Ways Strength Training Will Make You Man Up

Brett asked me to make an article about strength training and how it relates to manliness. Great topic, because strength training is all about that. Here are 5 ways strength training will make you man up.

1. Confidence. The stronger you are, the more muscles you’ll have. The more muscles you have, the more calories you’ll burn. Strength training will build muscle while lowering your body fat. You’ll look & feel better.

What you achieve will inspire you in other areas of your life. Success breeds success. You’ll feel more confident about yourself & what you can do. And that’s the number one personality trait that defines men: confidence.

2. Testosterone. Strength training & weight lifting increases your testosterone levels. Increased testosterone means more muscles, a lower body fat and an increased libido. Testosterone is the Man hormone.

No need to buy fancy supplements to increase your testosterone levels. Just go to the gym & do a simple 3×30mins/week routine like StrongLifts 5×5.

3. Responsibility. You want money: work. You want girls: approach them. You want to build muscle & lose fat: pay your dues at the gym. Strength training teaches you to be responsible for your own future.

4. Hobby. Smoking pot, drinking beer, playing video games, … Those can all be fun, but they’re not rewarding in the long-term. Get a real hobby. Lift weights, build muscle, lose the belly, get stronger.

5. Cave-man.

Exercise is substitute cave-man activity. - Mark Rippetoe.

Once you’re doing heavy sets of Squats & Deadlifts you’ll understand what Rippetoe means. Strength training will wake up something inside you. Something that in many people lies dormant: being a man.

This post was submitted by Mehdi of StrongLifts.com. Check out his site for more info about the Bench Press, Barbell Row, Pull-ups & building a home gym.

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