Comments on: Cracking The Valentine’s Day Code http://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/ Men's Interests and Lifestyle Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:31:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Chemical Erikhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-88679 Chemical Erik Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:05:10 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-88679 Here's another idea I'm using this year in response to "don't buy me anything" from my wife. I bought (yeah, I know) a couple DVD's I'd NEVER pick for myself but my wife will love (Devil Wears Prada and some other chick flick comedy). I'll sit and watch them (at least one depending on how busy we are) with the wife on Valentine's day. Here’s another idea I’m using this year in response to “don’t buy me anything” from my wife. I bought (yeah, I know) a couple DVD’s I’d NEVER pick for myself but my wife will love (Devil Wears Prada and some other chick flick comedy). I’ll sit and watch them (at least one depending on how busy we are) with the wife on Valentine’s day.

]]> By: Athioshttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-20325 Athios Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:31:09 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-20325 I agree that miscommunication and misunderstanding of exactly what is wanted is often the case.To paraphrase what has already been mentioned: "don't want anything" usually means "don't want you to BUY me anything" "don't want anything" does NOT mean "don't want you to do anything at all"My girlfriend saves all the cards I have given her, even ones I think are trivial. So yes, a little can go a long way. I agree that miscommunication and misunderstanding of exactly what is wanted is often the case.

To paraphrase what has already been mentioned:
“don’t want anything” usually means “don’t want you to BUY me anything”
“don’t want anything” does NOT mean “don’t want you to do anything at all”

My girlfriend saves all the cards I have given her, even ones I think are trivial. So yes, a little can go a long way.

]]> By: Julianahttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-17110 Juliana Thu, 13 Nov 2008 01:29:57 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-17110 Being a girl, I usually lurk here, but I figured my two cents might be helpful in this case, so here goes:When someone says "What do you want for Valentines Day?" it sounds like they want to know what gift to buy. The answer "nothing" is in response to that. Please, no gift, just do something sweet or say something mushy you usually don't. I think that's where the misunderstanding happens. I don't want a THING, I want you to tell me you love me with slightly more emphasis than usual. Being a girl, I usually lurk here, but I figured my two cents might be helpful in this case, so here goes:

When someone says “What do you want for Valentines Day?” it sounds like they want to know what gift to buy. The answer “nothing” is in response to that. Please, no gift, just do something sweet or say something mushy you usually don’t. I think that’s where the misunderstanding happens. I don’t want a THING, I want you to tell me you love me with slightly more emphasis than usual.

]]> By: Frank Schnyderhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-8860 Frank Schnyder Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:02:15 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-8860 Kate's comment above really hits the nail on the head. A woman might say she doesn't want anything, but has no idea what she'll actually feel like that day. She will probably feel very left out. I wish I had seen it from that angle before my breakup! Kate’s comment above really hits the nail on the head. A woman might say she doesn’t want anything, but has no idea what she’ll actually feel like that day. She will probably feel very left out. I wish I had seen it from that angle before my breakup!

]]> By: Zakhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-8678 Zak Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:14:53 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-8678 @Nick - Because no one wants to say "I want you to write me a mushy letter detailing how deep your love for me is".It is both trivial and profound at once and not the sort of thing anyone would want to ask for. @Nick – Because no one wants to say “I want you to write me a mushy letter detailing how deep your love for me is”.

It is both trivial and profound at once and not the sort of thing anyone would want to ask for.

]]> By: Nickhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-8667 Nick Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:17:16 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-8667 The question still remains.Why not say what you want? The question still remains.

Why not say what you want?

]]> By: Greghttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-1058 Greg Sun, 09 Mar 2008 21:48:18 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-1058 Carol - unless, of course, she has made her expectations for trashy underwear clearly understood. Carol – unless, of course, she has made her expectations for trashy underwear clearly understood.

]]> By: Jasonhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-539 Jason Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:29:54 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-539 Strangely enough, I just wrote an article about those "nothing" sort of things... you can find it <a href='http://www.amiracleaday.com/articles/2008/02/13/9-ways-to-remind-your-wife-you-love-her' rel="nofollow">here</a> if you're interested.PS - If you're going to ask me to vote for you on Digg (and I would), could you please give me a button to do so? Strangely enough, I just wrote an article about those “nothing” sort of things… you can find it here if you’re interested.

PS – If you’re going to ask me to vote for you on Digg (and I would), could you please give me a button to do so?

]]> By: fathersezhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-532 fathersez Wed, 13 Feb 2008 04:51:43 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-532 Hah!Many a man has been doomed by misinterpreting the lady's words.You are so right, something is better than nothing!Regards Hah!

Many a man has been doomed by misinterpreting the lady’s words.

You are so right, something is better than nothing!

Regards

]]> By: Carolhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-535 Carol Wed, 13 Feb 2008 03:37:40 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-535 Yes, you got it right. The only thing you left out that we really, and I do mean really, don't want is that trashy underwear! There is no way worse to say "I Love You", than to pull that trick on Valentine's Day. Yes, you got it right.
The only thing you left out that we really, and I do mean really, don’t want is that trashy underwear! There is no way worse to say “I Love You”, than to pull that trick on Valentine’s Day.

]]> By: Katehttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-534 Kate Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:45:36 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-534 Amy-Yes, you are quite right that asking for nothing and expecting something is truly in bad taste. What I should have said is that many women ask for nothing and truly believe they mean it, but when V-Day rolls around and they have gotten what they asked for, they suddenly wish they had gotten something. This may occur naturally, or it may occur when they come to work and the face of one's obnoxious co-worker is obscured by a bouquet of two dozen red roses.This has been my experience at least. I say I want nothing but then realize I am disappointed when I get it. I think I say nothing just to make the surprise and delight of getting something all the more acute. But then sometimes it backfires and I do indeed get nothing. Amy-Yes, you are quite right that asking for nothing and expecting something is truly in bad taste. What I should have said is that many women ask for nothing and truly believe they mean it, but when V-Day rolls around and they have gotten what they asked for, they suddenly wish they had gotten something. This may occur naturally, or it may occur when they come to work and the face of one’s
obnoxious co-worker is obscured by a bouquet of two dozen red roses.

This has been my experience at least. I say I want nothing but then realize I am disappointed when I get it. I think I say nothing just to make the surprise and delight of getting something all the more acute. But then sometimes it backfires and I do indeed get nothing.

]]> By: amyhttp://artofmanliness.com/2008/02/12/cracking-the-valentines-day-code/#comment-533 amy Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:29:14 +0000 http://artofmanliness.com/?p=48#comment-533 kate, i agree all the way. although i do think it is in bad taste to say you want nothing unless you actually want NOTHING, i think your advice does a good job of summing up the, albeit obscured, method to womens' madness. nobody wants nothing for anything, much less on valentines day, artificially manufactured or not.however, i, being prone to serious (often problematic) honesty, will make my expectations for a heart shaped diamond pendant clearly understood.i bet i'll still get a love note :) kate, i agree all the way. although i do think it is in bad taste to say you want nothing unless you actually want NOTHING, i think your advice does a good job of summing up the, albeit obscured, method to womens’ madness. nobody wants nothing for anything, much less on valentines day, artificially manufactured or not.

however, i, being prone to serious (often problematic) honesty, will make my expectations for a heart shaped diamond pendant clearly understood.

i bet i’ll still get a love note :)

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