The Art of Manliness wants to encourage men to stop hanging out and start dating. But negotiating the waters of dating can be tricky. Men often want to know if a girl is into to them or not. How can you know? Employ the Brad Pitt rule.
How the Brad Pitt rule works:
Call up the woman you like and ask her on a date. Did she say yes? Great, she probably likes you. What if she makes up an excuse for why she can’t go out? This is the time to employ the Brad Pitt Rule.
Imagine that instead of you, Brad Pitt had asked this same woman out. Would she use the same excuse with him? If Brad Pitt asked her on a date, would she still say she had to study or was going to the movies with friends that night? Nope. She would have dropped pretty much anything and everything to be able to accept a date with Brad.
Now you’re not Pitt obviously. But if a woman is interested in you, she will drop her other plans to be available to go out with you.
Of course there are exceptions; the woman may have a legitimate reason she cannot make the date. Perhaps she has to work or go to a funeral. But, and here is the real clincher, she will suggest a different time for the date. She will say something along the lines of “I can’t do it Saturday night, do you want to hang out next weekend?”
If she makes up an excuse and she does not suggest an alternative plan, you have been shut out. She is not interested. Do not ask her out again. Doing so will only result in awkwardness and you feeling like a tool.
But don’t worry, she probably isn’t as cool as you thought she was since she doesn’t appreciate your charms. Start pursuing another lady who will.
Hat tip to Kevin Barney in Chicago for this bit of advice.
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I agree with what you are generally trying to say here. I definitely agree about eliminating hanging out and dating again.
However, I disagree on the “Brad Pitt” rule. I think it’s a bit of a stretch. Brad Pitt calling a girl up isn’t normal — he’s a celebrity, he’s proven, he’s got social proof, and of course, he’s beautiful.
We all know that in normal circumstances, girls play it cool. This is just how natural courting happens, even in animals in nature. The female stands back and lets the man impress her before she shows any real interest. You will find girls passively accepting dates without much enthusiasm, but then it’s up to you to show her a good time.
If you aren’t “hanging out” with girls but instead are dating them, then how is this girl really going to know you enough to be ecstatic about you asking her out? By accepting your, she’s giving you a chance to compete; you can’t expect her to be all head over heels over you yet. Don’t get down about flaking either, this is the flaw of women. Yes, it’s a bad sign if she says no, but just because she doesn’t suggest another time doesn’t mean she’s not interested. Try again, suggest another time (don’t wait for her to do it), but if she flakes a second time that’s when I would bail.
I understand what you are saying Sherwin, but as a woman I totally disagree. I have never seen women play it cool. If they like a guy they’ll be dissecting his every move with their friends, concocting ways to run into him, and will do a little happy dance if he calls and asks her out. If they have interest, they will not flake. They will make that date happen. If you think she is playing hard to get, she’s not….she’s just not into you. And if you have to ask twice, she is just not into you.
Yes, if you are not hanging out that much, then a woman might not know you very well. And yes, a guy deserves a chance to prove himself and woo the woman in a date setting. But a little hanging out is fine. If you are asking a woman out, you should have had a least a couple of encounters with her. Even if it wasn’t too much time, people know fairly immediately if there is a connection or not. Even if she is unsure if she likes you, but is even somewhat intrigued, she will say yes to the date. If she doesn’t, then the attraction isn’t there.
That being said, if a guy really likes a girl and she initially rebuffs him, than he could keep trying to pursue her. Every once in a blue moon, she might change her mind, But in 95% of cases the Brad Pitt rule will hold true.
i like the idea of the “brad pitt rule” but i have known too many girls to either play hard to get or be cautious.
if a girl has read that lame-o book “the rules” then she might try to be all cool and say no just to prove you can’t get her too easily. how is a guy suppose to handle that? it’s not really rejection and it’s not really a green light. do you pursue under the possibility of being perceived as desperate?
the reason i like the “brad pitt rule” is because i think girls that play games are incredibly stupid and shouldn’t be dated anyway. it takes away all of the game playing and gets down to what people really want. if a girl says no and gives a crap excuse because she’s playing games – then she probably isn’t interested in a serious relationship anyway.
i bet there’s a billion girls out there that would disagree though.
I can’t vouch for this rule enough… it’s so important. I cringe every time I see other guys forget this. You need to value yourself enough to stop pursuing when someone’s blown you off too much. If you don’t value yourself, you can’t expect girls to value you either. Often, maybe even months down the line, you’ll run into them again and things will be different. For now, let it go.
@Rahul:
You’re right. It’s all about self respect. Even if the girl is playing games with you, is this the sort of person you want to be in a relationship with?
@The Scam:
I couldn’t agree with you more Scam. Girls that play games shouldn’t be given the time of day. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, avoid women who play games.
@Sherwin:
I agree if you don’t know a girl very well, she probably won’t say yes right away. I guess when I was writing the post I was assuming that the person knew the woman well before asking them out.
And perhaps this is too anecdotal, but in my experience a woman who is genuinely interested in you will either say yes the first time or suggest another time to get together. The girls who were playing it cool never went anywhere even after I kept pursuing.
This is a test.
Most of it makes sense and then theres holes in it. Us being human beings we are never 100% predictable. Just as loopholes are found in written procedures/contracts , we can pull “loophole” like moves where we can make it around whats seemingly in stone.
ill have to fireback and oppose those who say yea this is 100% true. We both know, males and females about looking desperate. Its immediately realized and many would not pursue or would stop where they are with someone of the opposite sex because they are seeming too eager, allowing for that other person to come and pull up the slack.
Some females will fall 100% to this rule, others like 50%(meaning yes but then yet they will throw some turns in the idea) then the others not at all. Some will be straight forward and apply, others will jack you on the 1st time you ask them out but then later give in to it(just enough time avoiding the desperation look), then the rest will constantly play games for whatever reason personal or because they dont like you.
I’ve even had a few experiences. Where accordingly I THOUGHT i was shut out, done, i was following some type of idea similar to this. It wasnt official that i was shut out but i stopped pursuing anyhow to avoid looking like a stoot. All of a sudden at the drop of a hat everything flipped and It was like i found the key to the shop and opened it for business. Maybe she gave me a test and I passed? You think maybe she wanted to see if she could run me then found out I wasn’t about that and I passed her initial test.
ill agree with it for the most part but as said there is some times where your in between and it cant be ruled as yes or no, she is or isn’t interested.
bradd is very cute!!
Easier said than done. You might get rejected, but its hard to just try to ‘find another lady.’
Good rule though!
If they are playing it cool and saying no, then call their bluff. Don’t ask them out again. If they do like you, then they’ll engineer a way to get asked out again. You have to be willing to risk it. If you fold like a wet blanket and ask them again with desperation, then you’ll come across like that and any little spark of interest they may have had will be doused.
Two sayings here:
- absence makes the heart grow fonder
- if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.
Both apply. If they are playing it cool and really like you, call their bluff. Don’t ever put up with games. Don’t be a doormat and man up.
Two points, regarding the ‘hanging out’ There is a limited window of opportunity where you can ask someone out. It’s after they’ve gotten to know you well enough to tell you’re not a psycho, but before they know you well enough for you to turn into a platonic friend (or find out your bad habits). Ask too early (“but i don’t know you that well”) or too late (“I though we were just friends” or “I don’t think of you _that_ way”) and your chances are much worse.
As far as the chances, even if you are attracted to them and they to you, there may be other issues that may be at play that result in being turned down. So the odds are low, they used to tell door-to-door salesmen that they have to ring on average 20 doorbells before they make one sale. Frequently, dating is like that.
You have to sort of know where to hit the button and collect. Like Dave just said, too soon, rejected, too late rejected. It doesn’t take a brain scientist to figure out when the right time but many guys would rather cash in early and ask too soon just cause they cannot hold it down. Its like how does that make you look in that girl’s eyes if your just being available and willing like that 100%? Even if a female was to do that to me, all of a sudden wanting to go out without me knowing her I’d question wtf is her deal? Its just basic human interaction, get the knowledge of how to talk to people and your set.
Just remember, they’re all Lesbians until they prove you wrong. Everytime a girl rejects you, unless you’re a douche bag, then she’s got to be a lesbian. This philosophy led me to three conclusions. 1. There are a lot of lesbians out there; 2. Lesbians still look good some of the time; 3. I’m lucky I found my wife in the sea of lesbians out there
I don’t agree with the Brad Pitt rule. If a man asks a woman out, and she has plans, she will turn him down. She doesn’t know him that well, so she shouldn’t divulge why she can’t see him (it’s not his business yet). And since she has manners, she won’t leave others in the lurch for a date. If she is a classy woman, she won’t act so anxious for a date that she displays her calendar for him to pick another date.
A manly man pursues a woman he is interested in. I would imagine he wouldn’t want a woman that would dump her plans for a stranger or ask him out for another day she is free.
A better rule would be that a man asks a woman out for two consecutive Saturdays. If she says she can’t to the first, in the same conversation he should ask her out for one of the two following Saturdays. If she says no again, or maybe, at this point he can give up in order to not make her uncomfortable. Most women make plans a week in advance, and sometimes two, but usually not three. And they are usually not booked for three Saturdays in a month, even if they are booked for two.
He would not sound lame at all to say “Hi Sally, Are you free this Saturday? I’d like to take you out to a great Italian restaurant. No? Well, what about the 12 or the 19th? Busy both days? That’s too bad.” And then end the call politely and give up. In my experience I may have a couple of events in a month, but usually within a three week period I have one Saturday free.
It would be a shame for a man to give up on a great woman just because she is old fashioned and has manners and won’t dump a friend for a date, or tell a man “How about Thursday instead?” (not very feminine, she is taking away the pleasure he gets in pursuing her).
i like this rule… as a matter of fact it all suddenly makes sense once ive read it.
thanks!
Bello e bravo, ha l’aria del classico bravo ragazzo ma soprattutto è un bravo attore. E’ Brad Pitt, (nome originario William Bradley Pitt), 45 anni.
Prima di diventare un attore hollywodiano di fama, Brad Pitt fa parecchie
brad pitt
@ The Scam:
“if a girl has read that lame-o book “the rulesâ€? then she might try to be all cool and say no just to prove you can’t get her too easily. how is a guy suppose to handle that?”
It’s simple: you employ The Brad Pitt Rule.
This will force you to move on to another woman who hasn’t filled her mind with the useless drivel espoused in ‘The Rules’. This will put you in contact with woman who are not using the manipulative tactics found in ‘The Rules’.
You will be much happier as a result.
What if she says she needs some more time to think it over ?
This rule is kind of retarded. Of course a girl would drop anything for Brad Pitt, but the fact is, 99.9999% of guys in the world AREN’T him, and will be put off for more important things. If she has plans, it’s best to just have her call you back. If she doesn’t, then it was never going to work out anyways. It’s a better system than just giving up early in the game.
I would gladly bet a thousand dollars that of all the married couples in the United States there are at a minimum 5000 couples, where the man originally called the woman and requested a date and the woman said no without offering another time. I suspect the number is actually much higher. This seems so obvious to me that I hardly feel it is worth wasting my time to state it here. I am new to this site and wonder if the tips will really be so valuable given how poorly thought out this invariant “rule” is. I post here only because someone who has not much experience in dating might actually believe the argument of this article. I wish there was an author listed so that, if sufficiently similar “arguments” were put forth I would know not to read this writer’s opinion pieces. Interesting and fun people have lots of interesting and fun things going on in their lives. People are busy. Maybe her cat is chewing up something. Maybe she is sick and doesn’t know when she’ll be over the cold but doesn’t want to go into that. Maybe she’s going away for work but doesn’t want to start talking about work right now and she doesn’t know when the business trip will be over, etc., etc.. Maybe the guy is not Guy #1 right now but if her Guy #1 and #2 don’t pan out she might get the chance to see what a great guy the caller is and fall in love. Anybody with a little creativity could think of lots of exceptions to a rule which says “She will propose another time.” This article just shows the inanity of such “rules”. I understand that people have to simply fill up space and make controversial claims to “get people talking/thinking” but don’t let that substitute for making an actual valid point. The problem may just be that a wishy-washy guy asks a woman out with no plan in mind and she isn’t impressed. Given the same guy with a fun and exciting game plan and she would definitely be there. And, what do you know, when she goes, she finds out he’s a terrific guy. A real man wouldn’t “as a rule” automatically give up so easily.
I like this. It’s simple, insightful, and basically sums up my own experience.
If a girl is interested, she will say yes. Anyone who’s denying this simple fact is totally delusional.
have you ever gotten any of these Brad Pit pics? The new on this site is cool, but I am scared to pay money for these wihtout knowing more:
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@Jacques
Wow, it’s nice to see that women aren’t the only ones who do a whole lot of over-thinking.
I’m sorry to say, you’re kind of doing the male version of “Oh maybe he hasn’t called because he lost my number or maybe he’s in hospital in an induced coma or he had to leave the country unexpectedly for work or…”
There are exceptions to every rule but 9 times out of 10, the rule holds.
I am only speaking anecdotally for myself and my friends but if we like a guy, we make it easy for them to ask us out. If we don’t, we try and let them down gently by doing the “I’m busy” thing.
I really don’t understand this apparent need to ‘not appear desperate’. The guy has already gone out on a limb by calling us and asking us out, just how many hoops do men think we want them to jump through? Unless it’s something some men need for the ‘thrill of the chase’ or whatever. How bizzare…
I would combine the article’s advice with @Penelope’s and @Bruce’s:
Ask a girl out for a specific date.
If she says no, ask about two other days.
If she says no, again, then politely end the conversation.
Call her bluff by not asking again. If she is secretly interested later on, then she will make herself available without you having to make a fool of yourself.
The Brad Pitt rule works great if you only want to go out with women who are already interested in you (which is a logical thing to want). You will always date women within your own league. However, if you ever want to get to that next level, you must be willing to break through some resistance. If I ever run into Penelope Cruz, I’m asking more than once! A little rejection won’t kill me. It seems rather unmanly to always play it safe. But yeah, after two or three nos, you are beating a dead horse. Its the same idea as going out on several dates and not yet getting that kiss. Time to plow some new ground.
Your other choice is to use direct communication. If she turns down a specific date with a lame excuse, then just be forthright and say, “Look, I’d really like a chance to get to know you better. I think we could hit it off, but maybe you are just not interested in me. Tell me straight out. Would you *ever* go out with me?”
Even if she rejects you, she will respect you for having the courage to lay it on the line. If she does reject you, this is actually a huge opportunity. You can parlay the situation into a win. It is suddenly perfectly appropriate to ask her if she has any cute friends that she thinks you might get along with that she would introduce you to. This sends a clear message that you are not even slightly phased by her rejection. You just scored two points with her that you wouldn’t have if you followd the Brad Pitt rule and just shuffled away. You are planting a seed in her mind for the future and you might also get a date with an even more desireable girl to boot. It’s all about networking.
This is genius. I cant believe it dosent enters the average guys mind to think of it like this.
This is jumpin deep into woman psychology from a point that we are not used too.
If only there were more rules like this.
Hey, The Brad Pitt rule yeah, is all about self respect that´s true,and should always be taken into acount when dating or even hanging up with a girl. BUUT. It´s not true that girls who are interested in somebody and with a legitimate reason to miss a date will ask for another time to meet. I mean that happens, and it´s a huge IOI ( indicator of Interest) but you shouldn´t count with that as the only way to know if a girl is interested. I mean, it could happen that the girl is shy to seem very straight forward to suggest another day, maybe she is trying to put a ring for you to jump into. No no, we shouldn´t play games with them, but come on, most of men are average looking and applying this rule seems a little to pretencious don´t you think? I´ld give the girl a 2nd chance and after that, ohhh hell yeah let´s apply the rule.
From my Sunday School teacher/father of one of my good buddies, when I was a young teen came this pearl of wisdom: “Be yourself and be nice. If you can not get a woman that way, then she is NOT worht having.”
If she says no and doesn’t suggest a different time that will work for both of you, then move on – She’s just not that into you, and not worth your time. No matter how bleak the prospects for meeting another woman seem, there are ALWAYS more women available for you to meet and date.
If she makes up an excuse and she does not suggest an alternative plan, you have been shut out. She is not interested. Do not ask her out again. Doing so will only result in awkwardness and you feeling like a tool.
^ I strongly disagree here and some of what is said in this tiny paragraph is false information.
What about asking them for an alternate time? Have you even forgot to add that in? You are not completely shut out just because she says that she has plans without telling a time herself.
It doesn’t matter if the person has interest in you or not. It only matters on you and how you feel. If the person wants to make a stupid desision by not giving you (the right person) a chance, then it is her fault to blame, not yours.
Also asking her out multiple times is not awkward. This is not even possible. If you ask her out multiple times, then that shows how much you love and care for that person. You are not being used as a tool. Again, if she says no or tries to say no, it is her own fault to blame and not yours.
Anyways, if she is not interested, you don’t need to have a relationship with that person, even if you love them.
It’s amazing, this very thing has gone through my head but I’ve always tried to deny it. With someone else telling me, though, I’m wondering if it’s more credible than I’d like it to be.
The thing that gets me, though, is this: There is this girl who always has some excuse as to why she can’t do whatever it is I”m inviting her to do. We’ve known each other awhile, and she has shown flirty behavior, but every time I try to make some advance there’s always some excuse. Now, she’s a very busy girl, and so her excuses are usually legit. However, like you said in the post, wouldn’t she be willing to drop some of her plans if she really liked me? Or at least suggest an alternative (something she never has done).
However, here is the kicker. I often will get discouraged and just give up, but it’s seems that every time I do she comes along and says or does something that communicates to me like she’s still interested in me. It’s like the closer I try to get to her the more I feel pushed away, and the farther I draw away the closer she tries to get to me. I guess this is what you all have been referring to as “playing games” with me.
So I don’t know what to think of the situation.
@Michael
It certainly sounds like “playing games” to me, although she may or may not be doing it intentionally. I guess the question really comes down to whether you are willing to put up with it.
If you’re being tormented by this, you may be better off just telling her point blank what you want or where you want the relationship to head towards, and try getting a yes/no answer about how she really feels. It’s hard thing to come out and say, but it’ll save you a lot of time spent confused and in doubt.
I like the brad pitt rule. Look it’s not the 1900s anymore. Men and women are equal. If a girl likes a guy than start dating – busy or not. We are all busy! For a guy if a girl says no then why should he pursue her. She said no, remember?
Addendum to Brad Pitt rule:
Ask for the girl’s phone number after meeting, talking, or dancing with her in person after a few minutes of conversation and then move on. Call her and make whimsical, friendly conversation asking her if she would like to have kids, if so, how many, the importance of comfortable shoes and underwear, the last book she read and liked, the things that should be done to improve the town you live in, and the places the both of you would like to travel and why. All of these varieties of topics or similar ones are meant to engage her brain in multiple ways. To create an altered state. She is going to try to weave a narrative out of the meaning of all this, but she won’t. Because there really isn’t one. You want to turn off her “man-repellent” mode if there is one and just access her “girl” at heart.
If she doesn’t respond to any of these conversation starters with some sort of enthusiasm or laughter, she’s probably not going to accept a date invitation. If she laughs at any of your jokes, or expounds on any of the topics, ask her out. If you are unsure, ask her anyway. By first saying that you would like to go out with her. Ask her when she would be available. And pause……..until she speaks.
Whatever she’s says next is her answer. Anything other than a time is a “NO”. If she says she’ll get back to on that, don’t offer your number. Let her ask.
If she says yes, ask her to bring a girlfriend and then proceed to spend most of your time convincing her friend of your worthiness by engaging in the same type of conversation you had with the girl. All the time, acknowledging your date, and getting her to chime in. Spend a minutes, here and there, apart by taking a restroom break or getting food or drinks. This will be a critical part of the date to allow feedback between them to become digested. After restarting the conversation, re-emphasize your attention to your date. Then continue will her girlfriend.
When the date is over, if you’ve done a good job on the boyfriend interview, her friend will convince her of your worthiness if she was impressed herself.
Do not underestimate the importance of her friend’s opinions. You were going to get deconstructed anyways. Might as well go straight to the source.
Demonstrate courage and straightforwardness. And polite invincibility. Even if things don’t work out, you’re unlikely to get completely blacklisted among the circle of acquaintances these people know, unless you really do something stupid. Remain calm and polite. You’ll be remembered even if one of their friends is afraid to break rank about dating you. Whatever you do, don’t be just “friends”. Move on if no one if biting.
I’ve had girls break things off with me by admitting they were engaged when I started talking to them. If she’s interested she’ll say yes, at least to talking to you, even if it she shouldn’t be.
I’ve been on both sides of this, from the outside looking in and from the in looking out and seen decent guys blow their chances for lack of courage. Forever doomed.
Some of you guys will spend hours on getting playing video games to master a level or boss. Use the same persistence. Consider it a game.
And please turn off the porn. Learn to deal with real people and not fantasy. So you can get a real girlfriend.
In a world full of pussies, be a man. You’ll be respected for it even if hurts your ego every now and then.
@Bridger
As weird as it sounds – that’s been my experience, too. My first gf ended up being a lesbo and now that I’ve had that experience, I’m much more perceptive of different womans’ sexual inclinations. I’ve found that a huge portion of them actually are (or are open to the idea) of being gay.
Maybe that is a result partially attributed to the equally sizable sea of man-boys out there?
I am so glad that you are encouraging men to stop “hanging out” and starting dating! I totally agree with the Brad Pitt rule. If I don’t suggest another time it’s because I’m not interested. But sometimes I really did want to go I just absolutely couldn’t. If I do want to go and just can’t, I always suggest a different time. Go with this guys it’s good advice! Oh and he is right about not taking rejection personally. It isn’t that we think the guy is unattractive, maybe we just started seeing another guy, or we know there isn’t romantic chemistry there. Don’t let it bring you down, another amazing lady is waiting for you to ask her out!
I agree with Penelope: people have plans, people won’t break plans to go out with some stranger they don’t know well.
I don’t remember who said it above but something about “if you employ this rule you will only get with chicks at your own league”. Hell, I don’t care how many times I call her, it doesn’t bother me and if she doesn’t like me she could just say no. Either way I don’t give a crap.
People should just sop worrying about their inflated egos.
Did Brad Pitt give you this rule? I think not .I thought this website was about manliness not celebrities. Men need to stop trying to be like someone else or following what is in fashion.
Many websites use Brad Pitt as the way males should be when in fact the don’t know anything about who he really is. The formela for getting women is simple, it is real manliness , real self respect ,and some attitude. Enough with the Brad Pitt nonsense!
wrong wrong wrong. why would the woman offer another specific time? so the guy can tell her he’s not available and feel like a dummy? if i couldn’t mkae a date a guy proposed i woulld say, “I can’t, but I’d love to see you another time, soon.” That is sufficient enough!
Buck up guys, ask 2-3x and if it’s nos across the board, then move along.
As for the deluded ones suggesting a girl ask a guy out on a date–any woman who isn’t desperate will not do this (or do so very very rarely).
99.99999% of the time, whether guys admit it or not, they want to do the pursuing. It’s human nature.
Yeah I wouldn’t ask a girl out too many times if she keeps saying no. Y’all need to realize that girls have a tendency to talk about guys with each other, and I would hate to be that “desperate loser” who just called for the third time to ask out a girl after being rejected the previous two times. A girl who’s interested may not necessarily break previous plans to accept a guy’s date but she will definitely let him know that she would like to be asked out at another time. If a girl flat out says, “No,” then she means it.
If you really like a women and have the right intentions you will know what to do.
Brett/Kate:
I know this article was from a while ago, BUT – why do you think that if a girl is playing games, that she is not worth your time?
I can’t remember who it was but someone said in the comments section about spending your time elsewhere instead of pursuing the one you want if she doesn’t respond well, says no, or plays games with you.
A girl can be playing games, but not coming from a bad place. She could be doing it out of good intentions – or to be fun. It depends where it comes from in her heart!
My boyfriend asked me out 5 times before I said yes (it took 2 months). His certainty, loyalty, masculine resolve and strength have ensured we’ve been together for 4 and a half years – happier than ever, And, I respect him so much for that dedication. I didn’t say no the first 4 times because I didn’t like him – I was (and still am) crazy about him – I said no because I was uncertain, and he proved to me that he’d be an amazing boyfriend :)
What do you say about a woman whose perspective is that, if the man gives up after the first try; then he didn’t really want her? I think it’s a sure sign of masculinity, certainty, and strength if he DOES continue with what he wants.
Isn’t this like success with anything? Most average people give up at the smallest sign of ‘failure’ or ‘mistakes’.
That’s why most people end up in the ‘content’ range. Not particularly happy, but not UNhappy enough to do anything about it.
I’m not sure if I’ve made sense. But anyway, that’s my 2 cents :)
I disagree with this advice…to a point. A woman with manners and class is not going to ditch her friends for you if she already has plans with them. Not even if you ARE Brad Pitt (remember, I said a woman with manners and class). And with the ability to create Facebook events, it’s possible that she will have plans that have been planned for months in the future. She won’t likely have them every day, though, so I agree with those who have suggested asking her when/whether she’d be free. Also, it’s possible that she would suggest another time, but if she doesn’t, I would say give her two or three chances.
If you are direct with her and she hesitates, though, move on. She’s not interested.
Hey mate, when viewing at your site i see some sort of weird codes all over the page, in case it’s important I just thought I’d let you know it says this with all sorts of other stuff after it: Message : Exception of type ‘System.Web.HttpUnhandledException’ was thrown.
After reading some of these comments, it reminded me of an interesting article by Pierre Mornell (psychiatrist) “Passive Men, Wild women”
Women get frustrated with men who are passive, I think for the most part, we like men who take initiative and lead.
I think that it’s only fair to be up front and honest about our thoughts regarding a date.
We need to be real and not hide behind a mask. If we’re hiding from love, then we should’nt be pursuing a relationship.
* Brad Pitt is good looking. honestly though, I would not be interested in him on his good looks alone. I’m much more attracted to good character than good looks.
I’ve heard it said: “we might in love with someone’s good looks, but we end up living with the inside of that person”.
Bgirl
Let me see if I understand your advice.
“If at first you don’t succeed, quit trying and move on.”
Who among us calls that manly?
How many times have you heard of stories where a girl finally agreed to go out with someone who persisted in asking until he convinced her she was worth his time because he was that interested? Isn’t it usually from older married couples?
Don’t be a stalker, but don’t take no so easily. Just because a woman didn’t jump at the chance to go out with you doesn’t mean she’s not worth trying to win. It may mean she’s even more worthwhile. Wait a few days, then try sending a dozen roses and a signed card that simply reads “Are you sure?”
Today’s men are wussies, and most of them are my friends, the trouble is, how do I wake ‘em up?
You should ask her out once and forget about it. If she’s not interested, there are approximately three billion other women out there that have the exact same things to offer that she does.
I think the problem with “dating” is that there even are “rules” that the other sex is totally oblivious to them and that change as times/fads change…so most singles don’t even really know what the rules are…lol. If we could get around all the “rules” and just take a risk to ask a person out (also, should it really matter who asks who?) without being vague (i.e. we should hang out, we should do drinks sometime, etc.) and just being direct. For me, I may even say yes to a guy that I may not be that into, if he has enough guts to ask. Is this leading him on? I don’t think so…I give him the benefit of the doubt and hopefully we are both adult enough to have a good time no matter if sparks don’t fly…or perhaps you even decide you like him/her enough to be good friends that you could get/give dating advice to/from – and maybe even debunk some of these ridiculous rules! I’ve never met anyone who had too many friends. Am I just old-fashioned?
And don’t buy into the notion that you aren’t as good as Brad Pitt; you asked her out, and he hasn’t. A woman who has that in her head isn’t worth your time.
Things to keep in mind:
Women, like men, want what they can’t or don’t have. They also want what the other girl has. If she sees you out having fun with another woman, especially one she knows, all of a sudden she becomes more interested.
Having a good time without her is the best cure for rejection, so move on!
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