How To Survive a Bear Attack
If you're new to The Art of Manliness, you may want to sign up for a daily dose of manliness either by email or by RSS. You may also want to check out our free e-book on how to be a gentleman in 2008. Thanks for visiting and don't forget to man up!
According to Stephen Colbert, bears are the number one threat to America today. Sure, bears look cute when they’re rummaging through a garbage can looking for food, but don’t let their cuteness lull you into carnal security. Bears are “godless killing machines.”
While bear attacks are rare, a man should always be prepared for a bear attack. You never know when you’ll need this information.
How you handle a bear attack depends on the type of bear you encounter- grizzly or black bear. So the first step in surviving a bear attack is to know what kind you’re up against.
Grizzly Bear Dossier
Color: Medium to dark brown
Body Shape: The Grizzly bears has distinct shoulder hump. This is a muscle used for digging roots and slashing prey with their massive bear paw.
Height: The grizzly bear average around 6.5 ft in height
Claws: Grizzly claws are long. They can usually be seen from a distance
Location: Grizzlies are mostly found in Canada. However, populations exist from Alaska and into portions of the northwest United States including Washington, Idaho, the Dakotas, and Montana.
How to Survive A Grizzly Attack
1. Carry bear pepper spray. Experts recommend that hikers in bear country carry with them bear pepper spray. UDAP bear pepper spray is a highly concentrated capsaicin spray that creates a large cloud. This stuff will usually stop a bear in it’s tracks.
2. Don’t run. When you run, the bear thinks you’re prey and will continue chasing you, so stand your ground. And don’t think you can out run a bear. Bears are fast. They can reach speeds of 30 mph. Unless you’re an Olympic sprinter, don’t bother running.
3. Drop to the ground in the fetal position and cover the back of your neck with your hands. If you don’t have pepper spray or the bear continues to charge even after the spray, this is your next best defense. Hit the ground immediately and curl into the fetal position.
4. Play dead. Grizzlies will stop attacking when they feel there’s no longer a threat. If they think you’re dead, they won’t think you’re threatening. Once the bear is done tossing you around and leaves, continue to play dead. Grizzlies are known for waiting around to see if their victim will get back up.
Black Bear Dossier
Color: Black bears exhibit a variety of colors ranging from black to light blond.
Body shape: Black bears don’t have the hump that Grizzlies have
Height: Black bears are slightly smaller than Grizzlies
Claws: Black bear claws are shorter than Grizzly claws.
Location: Black bears are the most common bear in North America. They live in all the providences of Canada and 41 and of the 50 American states.
How to Survive a Black Bear Attack
1. Carry bear pepper spray. As with the grizzly bear, bear pepper spray should be your first line of defense in a bear attack.
2. Stand your ground and make lots of noise. Black bears often bluff when attacking. If you show them you mean business, they may just lose interest.
3. Don’t climb a tree. Black bears are excellent climbers. Climbing up a tree won’t help you out here.
4. Fight back. If the black bear actually attacks, fight back. Use anything and everything as a weapon- rocks, sticks, fists, and your teeth. Aim your blows on the bears face- particularly the eyes and snout. When a black bear sees that their victim is willing to fight to the death, they’ll usually just give up.
Disclaimer
The Art of Manliness does not encourage people to go out and find a bear to practice these skills with. Practicing on your significant other will not do either.
Sources:
The most obvious manly way to defeat a bear was left off you list. Shoot them. Pepper spray is for girls.
Guns are for sissies. The truly manly way to kill a bear is with your bare hands. Or at least a spear to the jugular.
A real man would lull the bear with his manliness, and tame it, turning it into the real man’s best friend
black bears are found in all 10 PROVINCES in canada. we don’t have providences up here…providence is in rhode island.
love,
johnny canuck
Good info. Once I survive the attack, straight to the store for new underwear.
@Kyle:
Agreed.
Yeah good luck lulling a bear; you’re better off shooting it, or using a rock if you have one.
Grizzlies.. don’t.. try
Fortunately, Smith and Wesson make just the thing for protection against bears, a snub nose revolver in .500 S&W. Sure, it’ll break some of the smalled bones in your hand when fired, but it’ll do the trick. Better than carrying around some bear spray in your hello kitty handbag.
The REAL manly thing to do would be to let it live in fear. The next time it comes back, stare it down until it runs away from you and commits suicide so it doesn’t have to live knowing that your out there… at least, thats the Chuck Norris thing to do
Great article. By the way, it’s ‘provinces’, not ‘providences’ of Canada.
Cheers,
Mungo
My Grandfather always said he could out run a bear. His contention was he would have a clear path the bear would have to run knee deep in poop.
Best way is to avoid them. Also most bears will run away if they see you, as long you do not come between them and, food source, or their cubs. Sometimes you also get lucking and they will do nothing. Been there and done that.
Never mind this girly stuff with pepper spray or guns; grow your nails to a proper manly length and scratch his eyes out!
I lived in Alaska for 2 years and I have had 1200 pound
Kodiak Bear’s walk right under my fishing pole.
And IF the Bear want’s your fishing spot. Just calmely walk away.
Loosing your pole is cheaper than a funeral.
“NEVER EVER EVER” make EYE contact with a Bear.
The “MAIN REASON” for a bear’s attack, is because
you got your Dumb Ass between A Mother and her Cubs.
Bear’s are basically vegetarian, Except in Alaska.
“There they eat BERRIE”S, Fish AND Mac Donald’s Burgers.”
TO STARE AT A BEAR – IS TO DARE…
“If all fails” Smith & Wesson makes a 500 Mag Hand Gun.
Wait untill the Bear stands and shoot it in the mouth ” ALL 5 Times.”
Just don’t go walking around smelling like a BIG BOY’s BURGER.
PS: Bear’s “CANNOT RUN DOWN HlLL…”.
Besides, almost ALL BEAR’S RUN TO THEIR LEFT.
And Bear’s can scent “SMELL” FEAR.” and Taco Bell Burrito’s..
If you just take a “STAND” against a Bear and SHOW NO FEAR..
It will let you walk away. If not, 500 Mag S & W time…
If your STUPID enough to go into Bear country without a BIG GUN,
then you are right. “PLAY DEAD UNTIL THE BEAR LEAVES”
Or just become the victim of a Bear Attack…
The 500 Mag. Smith & Wesson Hand Cannon -
With its “8-3/8-in. barrel,” “SORRY NO SNUB BARRELS EXIST”
the overall length of the Model 500 is “15 inches”. and the empty weight is 4.5 pounds. The cylinder alone is almost 2 in. in diameter and approaches 2.25 in. in length. Thumb the cylinder open and “five charge holes await”. Each is 1/2 in. in diameter, and the .50-cal. cartridges they hold are almost 2 in. long. Load five of them and the total weight of the handgun climbs to 5 pounds. And the Bear goes BACWARDS… And the HAND GUN “WILL NOT BREAK A HAND BONE.”
But it will blow a bear’s head off…
From A Remote Sheep Rancher since 1956…
In A “FREE STATE” where we “can and
do carry gun’s “AND ALWAY”S WILL.” “NRA.”
Amendment Two
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a
“FREE STATE”. The right of the people to keep and bear Arms,
shall not be infringed.
Not even by a coward like Clinton. “Draft Dodger and Coward. Antie NRA..”
USAF 82nd Tactical Air Command – 1971 -1974.
4449th Special Forces Combat Squad
Jungle and Desert – Survival Expert…
Medically Retired since 1974
———– Walk’s With The Wind – Winter Thea Bear ——-
I agree with many others. A large caliber handgun (at least .41 mag, preferably larger) is the only way to guarantee survival. You can do your best to not cross a bear and do things that will keep the bear from attacking, but bears are somewhat unpredictable. Even after doing your best, a bear may decide to attack you anyway. At that point, you just need to start firing and keep shooting until it’s dead or running away.
Of course, to do this, you must be fairly well versed with the firearm you’re using. In a high stress situation, it’s even harder to hit a moving target with a handgun.
Furthermore, in today’s political climate, you need to remember the three “S’s”–Shoot, Shovel, and Shut up. People have been and are still being sent to prison for killing the “endangered” grizzly in self defense or in defense of their livestock.
let me tell you guys my bear attack defense strategy:
yes, a big grizzly bear can outrun you, but can a grizzly bear out-strafe you?
the answer is no. bipedals have an enormous advantage when it comes to strafing, or strafe-running.
the advantage is that a bipedal can quickly reverse strafing directions, from side to side, or with a center of attention, clockwise to counter-clockwise, or v-v. a bear, or four-legger(quadriped? or something), does not possess the same maneuverability.
so here is what you do: put a tree or similar object between you and the bear. if it goes clockwise, you do too. always keep the object in the middle, and naturally, stay out of a bear’s claw swiping range around the tree.
with this circle chase, a bear’s speed reduces from 30mph to below your own. be patient, and the bear will lose interest. i’d draw up a diagram if i could.
if it helps you picture it, let me make the example a little more extreme. if a car is trying to run you over, but there is an immobile, indestructible pole between you and the car, it’s easily dodged. a car’s turning radius is way too big to make tight enough circles around the pole to get you. it has to swing out wide and come back in or continually reverse and re-align. by then, you will have moved to the opposite side of the pole. this is the exact same principle for a bear although on a smaller scale with a bear having more maneuverability.
i’ve not tested this theory, but i’m pretty damn sure my chance of survival will be much higher than if i let the bear toss my fetally-positioned body.
one of my friends tried to call me out by saying bears can walk on two legs and hence gain a bipedal’s strafing abilities.
OBVIOUSLY a bear walking around on 2 legs does not possess the coordination to move like a well experienced bipedal human!
he refuted: how about a circus bear?!
he got me: you die.
Would a swift kick in the balls stop a bear attack? It’d certainly slow me down! If it’s female, a punch in the tits perhaps?
“If it’s female, a punch in the tits perhaps?”
If you punch a bear in the tits, I’ll lick your balls.
How to survive a bear attack: STAY HOME!
bears are harmless i came face to face with one in the wild i left it alkone and it left me alone but if not play dead do not run !
Why should you never look a bear in the eyes??
sickos check your work on bears fight them off
“…and 41 and of the 50 American states.”
Have you seen the movie Blazing Saddles? Grizzly Bears are pretty much like Mongo: don’t shoot them, that’ll only make them angry.
Or, if you really wanna be a man, watch the ending to Legend of the Falls. Let out a comanche like war cry and charge wildly, trusty knife in hand, straight towards the Grizzly.
Chuck Norris once killed a bear with his beard.
you guys al, are sux use a paintbal gun more specific an etek 2
damian s ur an idiot wat if u have no time ya ckity yodeller
Here in Romania we have many wild bears (the largest comunity in Europe). it is most likely to see one in a town a the base of the mountains, searching trough your garbage, than in a natural environment.
A funny thing is that when they attack a tourist, it is always a foreign tourist , most likely from germany.
If you have a car use it!
i think its weird to bite a bear
gab
I’ve always thought about what I’d do if I was to get attacked by a bear, and I’d like to think that could dodge em around a tree and get away, or take em out with one shot from the hip without even flinching, or simply take em out with my bare hands!!!!
But in all actuality, I’ve never been placed in such a situation. I run into black bears all the time out huntin, but they always run away when I yell at them. Except for one time when I was bowhuntin and heard some ruckus just around the bend through some trees. It was in the Yolla Bolla wilderness area in Northern California if anyone has been there. Anyway I went to check it out and found a bear cub climbing up a tree….that was all it took for me! I didn’t see the mama anywhere so I turned around and booked it down the face of the mountain making huge jumps like you see Bear Grylls do on the discovery channel.
The whole reason I ran was because all I had was a bow, I was fairly young then, and I’ve only heard stories of angry mama bears!! So at the ravine about 100 yards down the hill from where the cub was, I ran into my brother. We started to side hill in the other direction then looked up to see the mama about 65 yards up the hill side hilling the same direction we were. We knocked a couple broadheads just in case things got hairy, not that two arrows would stop an angry bear. They might kill it eventually when it bleeds out, but by that time he might have already mauled you.
Luckily the bear turned around figuring we weren’t much of a threat. Another experience I had was tracking a bear at night down this steep mountainside. The bear had apparently been “nailed with a .308!! then shot 10 times with a .22 as it ran away!!” Actually, the bear had been barely hit in the leg by the .308 and the .22 bullets did hit him several times but didn’t penetrate well enough to do any damage, other than tick him off. We had a good group of guys tracking him but couldn’t seem to find an adequate blood trail. Finally one of our buds called a friend with dogs to get some help. His answer was “Heck no!! You guys better be careful! Wounded bears get angry and will sometimes circle their trackers if its at night!” My dad and I took off after that being that we had nothing to defend ourselves with besides the crappy shot dude with the .308 and the big ol .22.
But now that I’m a little older and tougher, own a .357 mag (I know this isn’t really an adequate gun against a bear) a 12 gauge, and carry a knife at my side, I should be a little better off. Remember, we can always imagine ourselves kickn the crud out of some weaksause bear, but it takes real man to step up when the real time arises and its you or the bear!!!
Along with peper spray its a good idea to carry little bells to aleart the bears your approaching. Also be aware of bear droppings. Black bear droppings have berrys and squirel fur, Grizzly droppings ofter contain little bells and smell like peper spray!
I sell bear pepper spray because where I live is very common that while jogging you’ll encounter a bear. Bear pepper spray can only do so much and if the bear is onto you..good luck to ya!!. Although, the bears around here are sort of use to humans there’s at least one attack per year and usually the human looses the battle.
Good job on the content!! By the way I love the disclaimer.. I wonder how many idiots tried to go out and wrestle a bear?..lol!
pepper spray for bears
@Heywood Kenobi – i would just bring chuck norris with me
@ All those who advise scratching or biting the bear
May i remind you of the razor sharp claws the bears possses that could take you out in one good swipe before you even enter into biting or scratching range? Spears though would be nice should they attack (assuming you can use a spear effectively).
@abby “Good job on the content!! By the way I love the disclaimer.. I wonder how many idiots tried to go out and wrestle a bear?..lol!”
All the dead ones of course!
It amazes me how many people talk about what they wold do in an actual attack.
I am a gunsmth by trade, I think a .308, or .7mm mag would do nicely; Some handguns, such as the S&W .500 or the Magnum Research Desert Eagle .50 may also work. However if it were me, I would use a remington 870 express super mag with 3 1/2 inch rifled slugs.
Granted it can only hold 4, or 5 shots, but guaranteed they would do the trick if you were within 20-50 ft. I know that sounds awful close, but that would be your average danger zone if it were to charge. Furthermore you don’t have to worry about aiming for the head, or neck, center mass would do just fine!
I recently recieved an email about the largest Grizzly ever recorded in the world. It stood 14 ft. tall from head to toe, weighed 1,680lbs. It took 12 shots from a .7mm mag to KILL it. Apparently it had killed 2 hikers just 3 days before before its own death. One of the hikers remains shows a .38 revolver. The bears autopsy shows t had 4 .38 shells in its mid-section.
I honestly hope I am never in that situation! However if I were, I would hope to do well and live to talk about it.
I absolutely enjoyed readng everyones comment, and I hope someone says the same for mine.
what are you thinking
half these comments made me laugh my butt off mostly the ones mocking bear pepper spray.
I don’t know about most of you but there is no way I could play dead with a grizzly knocking me around also if I did muster up the courage and got lucky enough to live threw it I would need a change of pants. A gun would be handy but I was looking for an answer that didn’t envolve me carrying a bazuooka around where ever I went.
I like the dancing around a tree idea but it reminded me of a warning I got when I was younger, “Never climb a tree when faced against a bear the black ones will chase you, the Grizzlys will push the tree over.”
I think a knife would be about as good as a tooth pick try carrying a katana around with you instead
as for the 14ft bear o dear god I was always told monsters weren’t real
Hey Earl… nice comment. I -did- enjoy reading it. Very interesting information!
Great article btw
It is a common myth that bears can’t run downhill.
And it is also a myth that we could out maneuver a Bear.
If you have ever seen a bear run down darting Deer you would notice this fact.
If you look into the story of the 14 foot Grizzly Bear you will
find out it is a hoax. There was a real bear killed it was 10 ft and around 1200
pounds and did not kill any hikers. You want to check out the real story look up
Theodore Winnen and Giant Bear story. Real photos, inaccurate captions.
It is a common myth that bears can’t run downhill.
And it is also a myth that we could out-maneuver a Bear.
If you have ever seen a bear run down a darting Deer you would notice this fact.
If you look into the story of the 14 foot Grizzly Bear you will
find out it is a hoax. There was a real bear killed it was 10 ft and around 1200
pounds and did not kill any hikers. You want to check out the real story look up
Theodore Winnen and Giant Bear story. Real photos, inaccurate captions.
Sorry for the double post.
wow anyone want to go 10 rounds with grizley adams come one im not no mohomad ali but i could probly hit it a few time b4 it backs off
Airborne,Airassault,Pathfinder,Ranger,desert,mountain,artic trained. Wrestle the bear thats the manly way. Fought in Iraq with my snubbie 500 smith. Shot desert bear.
The comments seem to be more interesting than the guide itself, haha. As for throwing a couple blows to the bear… Don’t you know thats like Gary Coleman fighting the Hulk?
Heywood Kenobi-
I am sure if you did not have a gun, and a girl friend of yours had some pepper spray you would definately use it during a grizzly attack! Along with you crapping your pants! lol
A real man would wait for the bear to growl loudly (open its mouth) and then grab its jaws and rip them apart! And then he would wear the lower jaw (attached to a rope, of course) proudly on his chest.
And he would get laid in immense numbers. And would have much progeny.
And he would have a massive army fiercely loyal to him and willing to kill any man that wishes to harm him. And if he were not king, he would be the mighty general/bodyguard loyal to only one other: the king.
THAT is a real man. The rest of us are just trying to get somewhere close or close enough…. Except for Winter Thea Bear. That’s a serious badass. I have found veterans to be the realest people I have ever known. Nothing shows the good qualities of a man like living a life of kill or be killed at every second, for years. They are the closest I have ever known to gods. And I mean Vietnam War, Korean War, Iraq I, and the Crip-ed out streets of Southern California back in the late ’60s, early ’70s, when it meant something (according to them. I was not in any of these places so I have no way to determine the truth of any of it except for the very presence of the man himself). And these people I knew were gentlemen. (I do not know anyone in Iraq II or Afghanistan).
@Damien S. Yeah, I’m not cool with being tossed either. Unless I was unconscious. Otherwise I’d have to *do* something. If there was this massive chunk of pure muscle ready to take a bite out of me, I’d rather it was my head than my heal and then the rest from there. In the bargain, I have a *damn* good chance of getting lucky. Sounds better than getting tossed around like a leaf.
@David: At home?! That sounds like existing, I’d rather live!
Pretty much, it’s a safer bet to never run when a wild animal confronts you, either a bear nor a snarling dog. With a dog, you can just sit down and hold out your hands, it confuses them. (You HAVE to be prepared to smack it on the jaw, or even grab it’s jaws). Simple: prey run, predators eat. It’s all fast food, man. All fast food.
I’m suprised you’ve all missed out on this little bit of old wisdom… “You don’t have to run faster than the bear, you just have to run faster than your friend.”
Running fast is manly, right?
ya me and my firend got attack by a brown bear in alaska so we had to shoot it with our guns we shot 5 times before it run off
What scares me more than any Bear is the fact the some of the people on this blog go out in the wilderness and come within 50 miles of me. Some of the comments I know are done in humor and they are funny but some have me wondering if half the population isn’t retarded. I think the Bears should be the frightened ones!