Comments on: Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them

By: uberVU - social comments

uberVU - social comments — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:36:47 +0000

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by MF_Greatest: This couldn’t have been more well-timed: http://bit.ly/t9Y8H…

By: Billy

Billy — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 07:28:55 +0000

Too many comments to read. My 2 cents worth.

My first date was ice skating. Heaps of fun. Second date was movies. Somewhere in between those 2 dates I demonstrated that I wasn’t the right guy (don’t ask me how, I don’t know how). So the dates are important but its not just the dates.

Oh and don’t put your arm around your date in the movies. lol. My friend actually flinched away from me when I tried this.

By: Vaughn T Johnson

Vaughn T Johnson — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:35:10 +0000

I’ve been an AoM reader for about three months now so this post was before my time so I just found it, but my god, sometimes you hit the nail right on the fricken head. I am 22 years old and at a point in my life were yes, I am still really just looking for a good time with a nice girl but am in no way closed off the idea of it developing into something more. With that said, I feel I have no fear of commitment.

I was recently faced with the decision to either “hang out” or “date” a girl and I, as part of my eternal quest to become a true man, elected for the date. Now I did the asking over the phone and I was very confident about it, but the interim conversations about where exactly she wanted to go (it was her Birthday so I let her choose) and the the subsequent request for her address happened via text message, and while it was all happening it did not occur to me that this might not be the most manly way to go about this but it was just so damn functional that I did it anyway. In the end the date went off without a hitch and all was well but I still question my use of text messaging.

One last comment, the line about a guy over the age 18 still telling a girl he likes her over Facebook needing to be punched in the face was perhaps the most elegantly written phrase I have read on this blog to date. Good work and great stuff!

By: JS

JS — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:34:33 +0000

I find it interesting that AoM can lament how the internet is retarding the social skills of “Gen Y”, and yet right next to that statement is an ad for “Model Quality Introductions, Helping Affluent Men Pursue The Type of Women They Deserve – Click Here!!”.

By: Barb7983

Barb7983 — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 04:30:12 +0000

Right on!
My son is 13, okay a little young to start “dating,” but I hope he catches on…I have been telling him (AND SHOWING HIM) how nice it is to hold doors open for people (especially women and senior citizens), saying, “please” and “thank you” and addressing adults as “sir” for men and “miss” or “ma’am” for women. Just little things like this will get “Gen Y” started in the right direction. I am not sure which “generation” I’m in…I was born in 1962 and the Boomer Generation goes until 1964, I think, but I don’t feel like a Boomer. I like the articles on AoM — very thought provoking and things for me to keep in mind while raising a son who will, I hope, find and date someone special within the next few years!

By: Manliness: The Baby and the Bathwater | The Art of Manliness

Manliness: The Baby and the Bathwater | The Art of Manliness — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:27:51 +0000

[...] some effort to woo them and treat them with class. They didn’t just hang out with them, they asked them on real dates. Physical intimacy was a sign of commitment in a relationship, not a recreational activity born out [...]

By: Darcie

Darcie — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:25:34 +0000

Thank you! Beautifully and simply put. If you haven’t already, would you write something for the ladies on how to say no without further contributing to mens’ aversions to asking us out?

By: b

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 06:51:21 +0000

@RANdomIZED

I don’t understand the whole “hard to get” thing. Either you like someone or you don’t, there’s no “game” about it. I don’t know what grade you’re in, so I can’t tell you exactly how it usually works in your grade. When you’re out of school, you date people to get to know them. You aren’t in a relationship yet, but if things go right eventually you move into one. In that case, you don’t have to hang out with her before you ask her, because the whole process of dating would involve getting-to-know-her-better.

Whatever way, the next thing you should do is tell her that you like her. Wait until you’re alone with her or set it up somehow. Otherwise, it’ll either take a long time or it will never happen.

By: RANdomIZED

RANdomIZED — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 08:03:14 +0000

alright so there is this chick in my school that i like and about a week ago i gathered enough ballz to talk to her when i seen her in the halls and now i talk to her once in a while in one of my classes… ok so now shes doing that “hard to get” crap which i can easily pick up on but i still catch her eye a couple times aday so i know shes interested, so today i decided to not pay any attention to her to see how she would react and she was doing a bunch of shit to get my attention like laughing louder then normal and doing that classic school girl whisper thing with her friend trying to get my attention… so im just wondering… wtf do i do now? im not just trying to get in her pants but i actualy want to start a relationship. it hasn’t gone to the point where we talk like friends would so i know theres a sh!tlod of work left to be done before i can even start hanging out with her… and then ask her out

By: Philippine girls

Philippine girls — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:53:34 +0000

Most girls, especially Asian girls are waiting for men to ask them out first. So men should do the first move to resurrect the exciting dating experience. By doing so, you can level up your relationship stage from being friends to a romantic lovers.

By: Keith

Keith — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 04:33:57 +0000

Aspen I understand where you are coming from. I was in love with a girl just like you. Shared the same views, hated dating etc. But none of that is a reason to stop dating. It can be a good experience if you just take some time to get to know the person not crush on them or anything. Like learn some valuable things about the person their dreams, goals, and such. With dating you have to weed out your potential boyfriends. You can’t just date any average joe. They have to be special. That’s what makes dating such a unique, and fun experience.

I wish you luck on your future relationships.

By: Fred2

Fred2 — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:41:20 +0000

Marriage:
Have you seen the legal and social climate for marriage? Seriously?

Dating:
There are two sides to dating. Guys may have to “man up” but women have their path to tread too.

And having started to date again, all I can say is that it’s not just the guys that are the issue. How about some general manners like “thanks for the nice dinner and X” and perhaps a kiss on the cheek. Hey, perhaps even a second date to see if perhaps candidate No. 1 was a little nervous/stiff/out of sorts/ on Date 1?

By: Mike

Mike — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:56:12 +0000

Thanks man, tomorrow im going to ask this girl out that i like but have been too shy to ask, time to man up and just ask her, great advice and hoping for the best

By: Jo Hoffberg - Lindy Hop Instructor & Performer

Jo Hoffberg - Lindy Hop Instructor & Performer — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:51:37 +0000

[...] Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them – interesting [...]

By: DAN

DAN — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 04:17:28 +0000

For me what this comes down to is what Men really want from women is intimacy.
Intimacy as a best Friend this is the start. And a woman saying you’re friends isn’t enough. I imagine friends will not even be brought up; it will be a given. I hope. I never have experienced the progression to the intimacy and the romance but it seems logical. Of course your friends, but more and more friends further and further away from everyone else, secret intimate friends.
Damn, Thats what I want. I never can pull it off; once they see you as a friend your stuck in the woman’s limited idea of what that means.

Friendship is in reality a love, and even as great a love as Eros(romantic love)
CS Lewis.

Also see The Four Loves the top of page 73 pretty much sums up my recent experience. Damn.