The problem with dating is that it can become awkward, but this can be the fault of one or both parties. Dating doesn’t have to be grueling – and in fact the point of dates are to make it as easy for you and her as possible. I think that a lot of awkwardness can be avoided with some proper preparation and flexibility in the date. I love to bring social game ideas (not emotional, manipulation games) and some complex questions to fill in those awkward silences. It makes for good conversations, and allows you to really get to know each other well. We all wear masks in different social situations. For example, some of my friends act really different in group situations than one-on-one. In relationships I think its very important that you be able to be together comfortably in any social situation, be it group, one-on-one, formal, informal, etc. I think that starting dating early allows you to judge your one-on-one compatibility and that the other situations can more easily be worked on if you start with that.

My mother always is stunned at the perception of dating today for HS, and college. She says “in her day” dating was always just a casual way to get to know each other, and until you made commitments it was understood that both parties would date multiple people at once. I think that’s how it should be.

Don’t get trapped by being too worried about how the date goes, just be there and present the image of who you are as accurately as possible and everything will work out or it won’t. No loss to you either way.

I fully support women asking men out. If that happened, I’d be more likely to date a woman I haven’t noticed, of didn’t intend to ask out. Confidence is attractive to both sexes in my opinion. And as for boys losing interest if the woman asks them out… what does that say about them? To me, it suggests they are either controlling or not sure enough of themselves so they’re offended by the prospect of getting asked out. I would be utterly flattered, because it’s a strong compliment.

In the end, it’s a numbers game (for men and women). The more people you meet, the more likely that you will find the woman that takes your breath away. So I use both approaches as often as possible.

As for the PUA debate from Sasser, I think it depends on who you’re after. If you’re after promiscuous clubbers, or looking for a mostly sexual relationship that may work. If you really are after a companion that may perhaps lead to a committed relationship… this is probably a bad idea (Negs are particularly a bad idea, in my opinion).

However, I do think that there are a few things to say for PUA. I think canned lines, specific patterns of initiating conversation, etc. are crutches. Like crutches, they help you to start out when asking women out, but after that you should develop your own methods, and go beyond canned PUA “technology”. Personally, I read some of that, but I only use the “technology” as examples, to think of things that fit my personality. Some of the things like IOI’s, and other parts of it more based in psychology, and social evolution I find interesting and informative. I’m not interested in manipulating women and if she says no, big deal. I tried and I’ll feel better about myself no matter the answer.

I’m also of the opinion that a “true man” would be confident comfortable in whatever social situation he finds himself in – be it dates, hanging out, football games, baby sitting, whatever. I’m not there yet but I’m working on it.

The best way I discovered to date women is to go on pre-dates or mini-dates. Something simple like a quick 15 minute coffee or 1 drink at the pub. On a mini-date never go to dinner or spend lot’s of money. 5 dollars max. And always act like you have to be somewhere else. Leave early. Mini-date should not last more than 25 minutes. If your not vibing or clicking well this is perfect for ending the date without having to experience to many awkward moments. Always tell her “I have another committment or I have to take my dog to the vet for herpes shots or I have to go work soon I’m volunteering to save the albino monkeys so we have to make this quick.” With a quick meeting like this you can find out plenty of things about the girl. It’s pretty much a screening to find out if:

1. She just wants to have sexual relations
2. She just wants a serious relationship
3. If she’s crazy
4. If she’s interesting enough to go on an official date.
5. If she’s after my money
6. If she’s girlfriendable or wifeable

But the whole point of dating is to find the right mate.Find your partner. Then mate and create a team. Also known as a family. So make it fun! Date-Mate-Create!