Increase Your Manly Confidence Overnight
January 10, 2008
Manly men are confident men. People are attracted to men who project confidence. Sadly, many men these days lack any confidence at all. Some mope around with their head down, wallowing in self pity. Others confuse manly confidence with boyish cockiness. These men have confused confidence with being a douchebag.
Manly confidence is quiet; it’s unpretentious. But when a man walks into a room who has acquired this confidence, people can feel it.
The steps below will get you on the right track for increasing your confidence. Implement them into your life and you’ll see results quickly.
Spruce up your appearance. Take time for proper grooming and dressing. Does this mean you have to go metrosexual and lather yourself in creams? No. It does mean to take time for a basic grooming routine and learning the basics of dressing appropriately. Shower and shave everyday. Brush your teeth. Run a comb through your hair. While these things are simple, you’d be surprised by the number of men who fail to do them.
In addition, take time to actually dress yourself in the morning. Wearing sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt makes you look like a bum, not someone who is confident. A good rule of thumb is to dress so you wouldn’t be embarrassed to meet a woman or business contact later for an impromptu lunch. You’ll be able to strike the right balance of casualness and formality.
Set goals and meet them. Confident men make goals and keep them. Goals are promises we make to ourselves. How can you have confidence in yourself if you can’t keep a promise to yourself? Start making and keeping goals today by setting one goal that you can accomplish today and do it. If you constantly sleep in, make a goal to wake up early and do it. If you feel unorganized, make it goal to plan your day out and do it. By setting and keeping small goals, you’ll start to increase your confidence. As your confidence increases, you’ll be able to set and achieve bigger goals which in turn boosts your confidence even more. It’s a self feeding cycle, but it all starts with keeping small goals.
Exercise. Nothing can boost manly confidence like exercise. The increased blood flow makes you feel good and hormones are released that boost your confidence. You don’t need a gym membership to start exercising. Start today using the Charles Atlas routine. None of the exercises require weights and the routine takes about 15 minutes to do.
Learn a new skill. Confident men are constant learners. By learning a new skill, you demonstrate to yourself that you’re capable of adapting to anything that life throws at you. There are millions of skills that you can acquire in this life. Find one you’ve always wanted to know and get to work on it. Want to know a martial art? Call a dojo and sign up for a class. Want to learn how to fix a car? Go to the library today and check out books on auto repair. Just do something, damn it!
Take stock of past success. Sit down in your man chair and dim the lights. Think back to moments in life when you were successful. They don’t have to be huge successes. By remembering past successes, you’ll show yourself you’re not a complete screw up. Realizing you can succeed breeds confidence to take on new activities. Write down these pasts successes in a journal. When you need a confidence boost, whip it out and look through them.
Now it’s your turn. What has helped you increase your manly confidence? Drop a line in the comment box and add to the conversation.
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I love the new blog, Brett!
These princliples are time-tested and true. I would add, “Ignore popular culture.” Base your values on those of your father or grandfather. If they weren’t present in your formative years, find someone now who’s calm, confident, and rock-solid. Ask them to discuss their values with you. Start looking at your local church.
@ Larryedit- good call on ignoring popular culture. There’s so much garbage out there and a lot of it is designed to make us feel inferior so we’ll go out and buy stuff we don’t need.
I like the suggestion of going to a local church to find a male role model.
I’d stay away from the baby boomer generation if you are looking for role models. That is the group that (for the most part) broke the chain. If you can find a WW2 vet you will have found a member of the group that knew how to get it done.
I just stumbled onto your website today from del.icio.us
Very cool and much needed in todays world.
Wonderful website, stumbled onto it today from an RSS feed.
Great words and attitude, you rock!
t.
I would highly disagree looking to a local church for a male role model. Relgion is not a good example of how to be manly. It shows a lack of self confidence by submitting to a higher power and a pre-determined moral code. Live by your own set of values, and continuing your own search for knowledge is far more manly. Look to people who actually DO things that are self determining, rather than BELIEVE they are destiny.
@Josh:
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I’m a religious guy, but I’m glad you came by and added your point of view. I’m hoping this site can be a place where men (whether religious or not) can learn to be better. I hope you come back and continue to contribute your insights
@Josh, No offense, but ‘your own set of values’ can include some pretty horrible things. It seems pretty silly to throw out a moral code just because somebody else came up with it. Also, please don’t assume that just because someone is religious they don’t actually think for themselves or do their own search for knowledge. There are many ways to do that, and we don’t all have to do it the way you do or arrive at the same conclusions.
This is a great article. These pointers are NOT just for men by any means. As a person learns to walk, it’s with the goal of going somewhere. If we’re just taking steps without a course to follow, then we have to ask, “where are we going and why?” Living happily means setting goals, marking our course or planning our attacks and then DOING THEM.
I find I appreciate life and everything around me when I take the chance or time of approaching it. Waiting for something to come my way drains me from the wait, makes me unappreciative for that which is before me, and I feel unsure as to how I’m to use what’s just come into my life. Such is the way of setting goals and going after them.
I am a vigorous and emphatic person because I choose to be - and it shows. I love life and those that take an active part in living and going for their dreams are the sparkle in life. …that does NOT mean stepping on others to get there, however.. We are ALL precious gems in clay wrappers…
Cutting off a secondary sexual characteristic is manly?
As for combing your hair, some would argue that it isn’t manly to have hair long enough to comb, ha ha.
Church is a place to find male role models?
Another thing I also wanted to add, is that your advice is often terribly white collar. Most blue collar men would be offended at the idea that one should dress a certain way or that people should judge you based on how you dress. Although clothes are important in many social contexts, they are an artifice that many elements of our society have chosen to look beyond.
I think the idea that the clothes you choose to wear are a projection of yourself and your values is an idea that cuts across socio-economic lines. I am not an advocate of obsessing about one’s appearance though. I hardly ever buy new clothes and don’t dress like a dapper dude everyday. Nowhere on this site will you see advice about buying expensive clothing. I do think, however, that there are occasions that require one to dress up in order to show one’s respect for that occasion. More and more people go on dates and show up to work and weddings looking like a slob. I would like to resurrect the idea of good manners. Good manners does not mean judging others by their clothes, but wearing your best to special occasions…whatever that best is for you.
You may be right that today blue collar folks do not put as much emphasis on clothing, but this has not always been the case. Even 30-40 years ago blue collar men dressed up for special occasions just as much as white collar men. Men (of every economic class) even wore shirts and ties to baseball games and other sporting events. Maybe their ties and dress shirts were not as nice as the ties and suits of the white collar men, but that is not the point. The point is they made an effort to present themselves in a respectful manner.
Finally, the point of this post was that dressing nicely boosts your confidence. Again, this cuts across socio-economic lines. Whenever you put something on that makes you feel handsome and put together-whether that is your best jeans or a 3 piece suit-you feel good about yourself. Period.
I just found your website today while looking on articles regarding men bringing back the wearing of hats. I love this website! Thank you for the fine informative articles and vintage photos. I hope you will be around a long time. A big attaboy to all of you at this webiste.
@ Dr. Quest- Thanks for the kind words. We hope to be around a long time as well! We’re looking forward to seeing your around here.
Josh, thanks for commenting! I do disagree with you, but maybe my viewpoint is going at manliness from another angle. To me, it takes manliness and character to submit to ANYONE, whether a boss or a higher power. Any child can go “me, me, me” and try to live a self-centered, self-directed life. There is no character in that, unless a 2-year old is the “model of manliness” that we should follow!
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No, a real man is routinely challenged to choose to not go his own way, for the good of others, and for the accomplishment of good things. A real man can do what his boss says without backbiting, because he respects authority. A real man can take his family to church and not shirk his spiritual responsibilities. A real man is basically a man who controls himself to place himself under others.
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Any child wants to be first. A man will choose to be last if that’s what’s best.